This post is called: P75 + P83 disaster
Mix:
P75 2,5 mcg neck, front
P74 12,5 mcg forearms
Ammo 1,5 spray lower neck and back neck
IS 2 sprays to the hair
Location: bar, 1-on-1 situation
You win some you lose some when it comes to mones. I had - how shall I call it - an interesting night 2 days ago. I learned a lot about mones and how they affect people and social dynamics. On an interpersonal level - results wise - the night was a complete disaster, and I have little doubt the mones played a role in that.
Three important realisations and reminders for myself:
- A mix that is golden in some situations, isn’t necessarily good in another situation. Circumstances and people you interact with play a BIG role. Their mood, previous impressions of you… everything counts. Playing with mones is not some isolated experiment. With every changing parameter, results will vary a lot.
- If a mix works on a girl, don’t change it!
- I can now see why the putatives are not for newbies. Consumer Line products are pretty safe, but some of these putatives - when used in the wrong situations - can backfire tremendously. Won’t stop me from testing them in the future though.
Here’s the story:
At work I got a message from a certain Indian girl some people may remember from a previous post in this journal. She said she was in town for the day. ‘Cool’, I said, ‘let me know if you wanna grab a drink or something’.
Since our night last summer I’ve been receiving texts from this girl every other week. She’s always the one initiating, she basically wants my attention. Texts were always the flirty/teasy kind.
After the first texts she started spitting text game, briging up excuses why she could not meet me that day. I wasn’t in the mood for games, so I said ‘Fine, it’s cool if you don’t wanna meet. Just stop making up excuses’. She was just testing how eager I was to see her, I wasn’t biting. She called me to reassure she really wanted to see me, and that we could meet in the evening before she had to take the midnight train.
So we ended up meeting in a bar. Initially she was awestruck and pleased to see me again. Hug, smiles while looking down and playing with her hair. This girl has been pretty into me ever since I took her virginity two years ago. Attraction was clearly visible now again.
After a couple of minutes she said she felt a little insulted by my message - me assuming she didn’t want to see me. I agreed that maybe was a bit dickish of me and apologised for manhandling her. She accepted it and everything seemed to be normal. I steered the conversation in more upbeat directions and the vibe became nice and flirty with her initiating kino and such.
~45 minutes in I decided to apply 30 mcg P83 to see where it would take me. We only had 1 hour left before she had to take the train. The evening before I had awesome results after adding P83 to this exact combo, so I felt like pushing my luck.
Bought another round and went back to the table we were sitting. Still trying to comprohend what happened, but P83 unleashed this huge shitstorm it was unbelievable… It started with the beer. She told me I was being cheap for buying a normal beer, instead of something special for her. I took it as a joke, said that I liked the beer and planned to continue the upbeat conversation. But to my surprise she kept going on and on and on about the beer being cheap, and how that said something about my personality. The rest of the night she continued to be super hostile for no apparent reason. I have no doubt it really was the P83 that triggered some inner frustrations she had about me.
A little history: I had sex with this girl twice. Once I took her virginity without me knowing. The other time she cheated on her bf with me. She has it bad for me, but I never gave her any signal that I want something longterm with her. Think all frustrations stem from there… She feels weak and vulnerable around me. She probably thinks I manipulated her into doing things she never thought she’d do. I didn’t do such a thing. Read back my post from last year; I can honestly say I never did anything unethical and I didn’t push her into doing things she didn’t want to herself.
She even told me she tought I was unable of really connecting with people. That I couldn’t really show empathy… She felt like it was always a oneway street, with her exposing herself, and me not opening up to other people. What she basicaly was saying is that I was not emotionally available to her.
This is true. We have had very good deeply bonding conversations in the passed, but I never felt the need to pursue her as a girlfriend. I felt good chemistry with her, but I guess I’m just not ready for a new relationship yet. I think she felt a huge spark and wants more, but I never gave in.
I feel P75 also played a huge part in all this. I was happy I wore it, cause it gave me the confidence to deal with the situation and not start acting all beta and nervous. In fact I didn’t feel her hostility at all, it really was like some emotional parts of my brain were shut down. I also didn’t feel the need to respond with vengeful words; could’ve easily said something back. I was feeling super rational, analysing the situation, thinking about where her frustrations came from and how wrong it was of her to blame me for her sorrows.
Also: did P75 give HER the balls to actually be this hostile towards me? Is this putative that strong that it affects other people in similar ways it does affect the wearer? She really seemed cold, and unmoved while she was telling me all this… I know she usually is not like this at all, and would have a hard time speaking badly about other people.
I tried to counter the P75+P83 combo and get her to be more friendly with some extra P74 I had with me, but it didn’t work.
I dealt with the situation by telling her I understood what she was saying and that I appreciated the feedback, but that I kindly disagreed on most of it.
When I dropped her at the station we hugged and I told her it was - for the lack of a better word - ‘fun’ night (just being friendly). She said ‘yeah, but I still hate you’ with a smile on her face and left.
Two days later she’s texting me again and apologizing for the things she said…
Think P75 did some lasting damage and that I’m gonna have to delete her from my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming the mones entirely - it was bound to happen.
Why I think P75 played a big role:
Next time - when a little more empathy is required around people I already know fairly well, I’ll be careful with P75.
In retrospect I should’ve just gone with A314. She responded well to this previously.
Case closed!