How I view Pick-up

Lounge
1

Hey Guys and Girls.

I would like to share something special with you - my own personal view on Pick-Up and the Game, you may have noticed I am a slightly atypical PUA, I would like to explain how I see things,how I practice PU, what I teach and what I see wrong with traditional PU (including why Mystery goes mad in the Game).

This has never been posted anywhere before.

The fundimental of my philosophy is Love for yourself.

Your perfect partner is an exact reflection of you, but before you can love this person it stands to reason you have to be able to love yourself.

You have your own view on the world, that is 100% unique to you, you are an individual. Your personality is made up of everything you are - you political opinions, social class, taste in clothes, food, music, entertainment, outlook on life, religion etc etc etc etc.

You naturally attract people who have personality and belief structures similar to yourself. Not just in love but in life, it is no coincidence that the majority of your friends are in the same demographic and share the same interests and ideals.

So you are naturally attracted to a person who is the same as you, you are also naturally attractive to that person. Your perfect partner has a life philosophy, work ethic and wit that matches yours perfectly

The trouble comes when you are not happy with yourself and who you are or any aspect of your life.

Too many people do not have complete love for themselves, happiness in their lives and inner harmony.

It stands to reason that if your perfect partner shares the same personality as you, the things you don’t like about yourself, you are going to dislike about them. You see your own faults and reject that person.

So what tends to happen is that we become attracted to people who have the features we respect and desire or are the opposite to something we don’t like about ourselves. We want to be with these people to cover our flaws, make us look better, fill a hole or try and find harmony. The trouble is that you don’t share enough in comman with this person, the differences create friction and the energy required to maintain the relationship it too high.

Imagine the bookworm who desires the head cheerleader - The cheerleader has the things that he wants, she is popular, sociable, easy going and air headed. Now the cheerleader is happy with who she is and wants to be with the captain of the football team because he is popular, sociable, easy going and air headed.

What traditional PU does is to teach the bookworm how to imitate the Captain of the football team, and guess what? - It works he can get the cheerleader, not only that but once he has faked it she genuinely becomes interesting because he displays properties she wishes she had (he is smart).

The trouble with this, is that the cheerleader is not a good match for the bookworm and the relationship is doomed to failure - what happens to Mystery in the game and has happened to dozens of my friends is that he got the cheerleader, then realised that didn’t make him happy (because he still had the self hate issues) and felt lost because he didn’t know why he wasn’t happy.

My Philosophy is: show the bookworm how to Love himself and everything he stands for, build him up and make him realise how special and unique he is. Make him happy with his own life.

Once he is happy with every aspect of himself he can then find a woman, and guess what? He will find one who demonstrates the qualities he loves in himself - (Studious, reader, smart, quiet, calm and measured etc). She will be naturally attracted to him and they will fit perfectly. His life will be complete.

So that is what I teach.

Yes my background is in traditional PU, yes I can do the Mystery Method stuff and lay the head Cheerleader. Yes I can teach a guy how to do that.

But I have evolved into so much more.

I love myslef, I love my life and I am the happiest person I know. I want to share this.

I naturally attract compatable women into my life.

That is my PU, This is what I preach, this is what I practice, this is who I am.

Thank you for listening.

2

Ok I hear what you’re saying; BUT I’m not a bookworm and I’m not the captain of the football team (ps: what kind of football we talking here? Up The Villa!). If the bookworm was an A and the captain of the football team was an F; I’d be about a C (plus maybe).

Ideally the girl I am after is in the top following % in each department:

Looks: 22%
Intelligence: 35%
Body: 35%
Personality: 20%
Kinkiness: 15%

So I think I am realistic and not really shooting for the air-head cheerleader type…

I agree that self-love is key and leads to all the other key issues of confidence etc. It’s not very helpful if a book just says “be confident”. Surely that stems from being satisfied and even content with your life, in all of its many facets.

Do you do one-on-ones by email or anything like that Gem?

Matt

PS: I once had a girlfriend like the one you mentioned having. Top 2% is every facet. Blew that one sadly.

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nice reading big guy

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The dork and the Cheerleader were just example as they are polar opposites, like I said, your personality is completely unique. the key is 1) find happiness 2) identitfy if you are attracted to something because it matches you or if you are attempting to compensate for you own short comings.

Spot on, unfortunately I have never found a book that can teach you real inner happiness and I don’t think I could attempt to write one. In the same way that a book could never take the place of actually visiting a psycho therapist.

I will post here as I get the chance some material and techniques that can help guide you to complete fulfilment.

The book we have written is traditional PU and touches on my theories but not explicity.

Yes yes and yes, and that is what I teach - not chat up lines or hypnotic language patterns or bull shit stories. To me I am still a PUA and what I teach is PUA, but I just wanted to highlight how broad the PUA range is and that we are not all rotters - I am about self improvement not womens value reduction

If you have Skype add Gemsjourney and we can talk.

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Oh and just quickly- Some of you may know that I am also known as GemsJourney.

I am still on my journey, I still have issues to deal with and things I want to improve. I am not perfect and probably never will be…

But I can live with that :wink:

6

Whatever I do I want it to get to the effortless stage not just cos I am lazy but because the near-perfect girlfriend I had when I was 17-19; well I managed to bag her with pretty much adolescant-level game. Maybe being at an all boys school somehow upped my game; but still I have a lot more knowledge, self- and otherwise, now. So in theory…

But maybe I just tripped over a lucky star that night. O how I miss her :frowning:

I don’t have Skype. MSN Messenger any good?

I would say that self-appreciation/contentment definitely is up there because I have to take these 5-HTP capsules for depression and so on. Basically it’s the precursor to the brain chemical serotonin (so alot milder, but similar effects to Ecstacy when taken in larger doses) and when I have mega-loads of those - brings with it feelings of contentment and optimism for my position in life I have better nights out. Much better. But even then, with “optimal” brain chemistry, I could use a few pragmatic tips. The Attraction-Comfort-Seduction Method does seem the ticket; and not too overly complicated.

One book/author/motivational speaker that I find has helped somewhat is Tony Robbins. His “Repetition is the Mother of Skill” quote is something of a mantra for me!

Matt

7

Gem,

What do you think of Wayne Elise?

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that which is not based in love is based in fear.

now if i could just figure out why the captain of the football team digs on a dork like me, i’d rule the world.

9

“three simple truths:
Being comfortable with women
being comfortable with being sexual
being comfortable with yourself”

10

From the original message and the subsequent replies, I have to conclude that all men want to sleep with the cheerleaders. Time to start a new website: “How to be a pornstar 101 - for bookish girly girls. The rest of you can join the feminist movement.”

J/K :smiley: In bed and sick today. Nothing better to do. :smiley:

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Gem, I have to agree with you. It is my fatal flaw, and I really don’t know how to go about finding true happiness. Obviously the anchor would be a woman who loves me, but how would that be beneficial if I’m not congruent with that emotional value? If I don’t view myself as lovable, then no matter how much effort another person puts into convincing me that I am, it will not be of any success. In past relationships my problem was that I did not love myself, but I channeled or leeched onto my female counterpart in order to feel what it means to love. I have always been miserable, and for many unknown reasons. I know that it is more than one reason, because I’ve tried to improve on many areas where I’
ve fallen short. Likewise the attraction I have made HAVE been with people who did not love themselves either. Like-Energy attracts Like-Energy. I don’t know how well the “Law of Attraction” plays a role in this, but it certainly has been evident in my life experience.

My question is, is happiness obtainable? Or is it just the pursuit that makes us happy? If you aren’t pursuing happiness, then is that the reason why you are unhappy? Happiness is not a tangible asset, though many people feel that it is, or perhaps tricked themselves into thinking it is. I think happiness can be partly established by refocusing on what you DO have, rather than what you DON’T have. Unfortunately this is a very difficult task considering the society that we live in is shallow and narcissistic in general. How is that we can obtain positivity when we are bombarded by negativity every second of the day?

I’ll leave it at that for now.

12

Sorry to hear that…don’t forget to take your medicine :slight_smile:

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  1. Happiness is obtainable. The question is how do we remain in a state of happiness without resorting to smoking weed 24/7?

  2. The pursuit of happiness is tied in with hope, which is quite different. The anticipation of happiness could make one happy I suppose, in the vein of ‘counting one’s chickens before they hatch’. I assume you mean pursuing happiness as in the endless material cycle of work hard to get promotion-get paid-buy nice things-work some more.

  3. Appreciating what you do have - a good working body! This reminds me of the saying - “I was crying because I had no shoes, until I saw a man on the street with no feet.” Take up exercise and appreciate that body. What you want to do with that body afterwards is entirely up to you.

-signing off-

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Gem’s not around anymore… but I’m sure others will/have answer(ed)

15

The forums being cooky with me trying to post, so hopefully this shows up this time…
*
Happiness isn’t something that is to be obtained…happiness is a state of mind that embraces POSITIVITY.

To some extent, being stuck in the PURSUIT of happiness can be a self-destructive mind-set. People often think, that they cannot and will not be happy until obtain certain things…or reach certain milestones in their lives. Too many single people think they will never be happy with themselves if they aren’t with somebody. Too many people think they can’t be happy until they land that ideal job…or obtain a certain level of wealth. If your own happiness is fully vested in the pursuit of wealth, you will never be wealthy enough, and you will never be happy enough. If your own happiness is fully vested in the pursuit of success, you will never be successful enough. If you chase certain ideals when it comes to women, the women you are with, and the relationships you’re in will never be good enough.

I’m not saying you should lower your standards and grow overly complacent…but the ironic thing is, if you’re happy with yourself as you are, and you lead a POSITIVE life, these personal milestones tend to come much more easily. Your attitude in life and how you feel about yourself will influence and reflect upon everything you do, and everyone you meet. If you feel negative about yourself then you will have a negative impact on the world around you and attract more negativity. If you have a positive outlook to life and yourself, then you will have a positive impact on the world around you, and will obtain more positivity as a result.

Sometimes you have to be bigger than societal standards and realize that happiness comes from within you, and how you perceive the world…NOT from how the world perceives you, and whether or not you currently have reached certain standards of what a happy person is.

I’ve read up on the MM and David D’s stuff, and there’s quite a bit that I disagree with (as there usually is with anything I read). However, I do agree with a lot of the mind-sets that they promote. I agree with GEM in the fact that if you love yourself, people will love you. Loving yourself is more important than knowing all these gaming techniques. While there’s a lot of value in learning these gaming techniques, these techniques alone will NOT work if you are plagued with negativity and are not truly happy with yourself. If you feel negative about yourself, these gaming techniques can become more a matter of self-preservation (guarding your own insecurities) than a matter of building attraction. Contrarily, you can be successful with women simply by loving yourself, being comfortable with yourself, being confident in yourself, without having to utilize these sophisticated gaming techniques.