I want this thread to be a list of all things a man can do physically, materialistically, emotionally etc to become more attractive to women for dating.
Let’s start by leaving mones out.. that’s why I posted in the lounge .. We have enough info on mones.
I’ll start on some basics:
get adequate sleep everynight
Workout with weights, cardio and stretching at least 3 times a week
By hygenic, clean breath, shower daily etc
Wear a nice set of clothes whatever your style
Eat a healthy diet. Stay awake from too much caffeine, alcohol, drugs, pop, and overall junk food
Drive a nice car
Smile more often
Wear nice shoes… Women spend a lot of money on their shoes.. A nice pair goes a long way in a womans mind
Get taller.. if your below average or average height invest in elevator insoles or elevator shoes for your dates
Lose the gut (goes with #2 and #5). You don’t have to have a 6 pack, but a trim midsection speaks wonders and is good for health
Make eye contact - don’t go all creepy, Tom-Cruise-thousand-yard-stare on them but make eye contact. It’s easy to forget this one.
Also, it costs you nothing to give people compliments. I’m not saying to shower people with fake ones, or to give them so often that they lose their “special” quality, but once in a while telling someone “you’re looking nice today” can remind them that you’re looking. There are those who will disagree with this advice but there’s a good balance to be found in doing it.
Another thing that I find useful (if difficult to explain) is “be interesting”. Have you got interests, passions? Find a way to explain them in such a way that the other person is able to find them interesting. Remember, women get attention from men more frequently than men realize. You’re wanting to stand out!
So you are pretty much saying be me?? LOL. I wouldn’t worry about driving a nice car though, it does help a little bit but not enough where it is going to matter whether a girl likes you or not, unless she is a complete gold digger and then she isn’t even worth the time in the first place.
Tease! Make jokes, teasing a girl goes a long way if done right but dont go over board.
12)Laugh more (goes with #7) girls are more likely to approach you and want to talk to you if you are laughing, whether it be in the mall club etc.
I’m not sure whether the small increase in hight due to the shoes has a bigger effect than it’s effect on your bodylanguage.
On dating websites pictures of man who don’t smile outperform those men who do.
People smile for many reasons. A smile releases tension. If you smile because you aren’t okay with tension that exists in your interaction with a woman that’s bad.
If you smile because you feel good, that’s good.
The same goes for giving compliments. They are good when the come from a place where you feel good and want to share your good emotions with someone else.
They are bad when you tell them to seek approval.
Be in touch with your own emotions. If a woman can read your emotions in your bodylanguage and you don’t act in according to that emotion, you will come across as fake.
Be at ease with making bodycontact with woman. Dancing is probably the best way to develop that skill.
Be present. Meditate.
Be confident. Doing progressively harder cold approaches is a good way. Demonic Confidence is a program that gives a nice roadmap.
Being skillful with language. NLP training helps here.
What about negative self talk? All the tips in this thread are not of use if you have negatives thoughts occupying your mind… Any tips how to banish them?
The cognitive-behavioral approach is to reframe them. For example, instead of thinking “I’m terrible at talking to girls” one can think “I need to improve my ability to approach women”. Focus on actionable, positive or at worst neutral statements.
This is true for pictures on dating websites but generally not in person. Smiling makes you more approachable and less intimidating, obviously don’t fake smile that can be picked out from a mile away but like was said if you feel good then smile.
No. All the recommendations I made help with banishing negative self talk.
If you dance and really get into the moment self talk shuts down. Especially when you are on a festival and dance 9 hours/day. There’s the point where you mainly operate on the kinesthetic level.
Meditation helps with getting control over what’s happening in your mind. It helps with self talk. Going through the Demonic Confidence training program will help you.
Within NLP there are a lot of ways to deal with negative self talk.
It’s a matter of timing. Sometimes having tension in an interaction is good. Otherwise it isn’t. It’s good to have the flexibility to be able to do both.
If someone who already supplicates too much tries to smile more, I doubt his success rises.
Smiling is a huge form of communication and body language. This doesn’t mean you need to walk around displaying a huge toothy grin all the time but there is rarely a negative to smiling. If your familiar with NLP then you know its used to change the mindset of those around but has a huge affect on the self as well. You do not have to feel good first to smile. The smile can make you feel good just like using other forms of body language can change the way one feels. This is not to say force some huge smile. Even a small relaxed upwards turn of the mouth is good.
In interaction, our own behaviors create other people behaviour. Its called reciprocation and its a natural part of human communication. Sort of like mirroring which is a small part of it. If your projecting negative body language or wording things on the negative side even inadvertently in conversation then people will reflect that at you.
This is a excellent response. Re framing (another technique used in NLP).
Its not always what you say but how you say it. The same can be said for thinking. You do not want to replace your thoughts with things you know are untrue. That wont work but re framing the way you say it or think it without making it untrue will over time change your negative mindset as Someoneornot displayed above.
I agree with this to a degree. I dont believe dancing is the only way to develop this skill though nor the best for everyone. Only if you truely enjoy dancing and feel comfortable dancing. If your forcing yourself to participate in something you just dont enjoy then thats not going to help.
Getting comfortable to dance is something that you can learn through practice. I certainly wasn’t comfortable in my first dance lesson.
You are however right that it’s not the only way to learn the skill.
Let’s say a woman says something that makes me feel good. If I didn’t smile beforehand but smile afterwards, the woman sees that her action makes me feel good. In social interactions we feel good if we make other people feel good. Therefore the woman also feel good and might also smile.
If I already smile as much as I can before before she says something that makes me feel good, I can’t communicate my changing state in the same way.
In the same token, if a girl says something that makes me bored, it’s good when that reduces the amount that I smile.
It communicates that I do care about whether I’m bored and that I’m not smiling to please her. The fact that I’m not focused on pleasing her suggests that I have status.
I don’t need her approval.
Smiling is a perfect strategy to get approval from other people. Beta’s smile to alpha’s to get their approval. A woman wants to have sex with the alpha.
She wants his approval.
There are social interactions where it makes sense to play the beta role. If you are talking with your boss it might be a bad idea to try to be the alpha.
