How to pick up girls who's boyfriends are present?

Lounge
1

Hmm, yeah, maybe unethical and stupid, but I’ve always wondered how to go about this. Today at the coffee shop, sitting at the table in front of me was a guy/girl. The girl was back to me, guy facing me. But the girl would sit sideways, fidget to no end, and get up like at least 15 times in a 2 hour period (the guy only got up 1 time). She also turned around slightly a few times and bent over a couple times as well to reach for her stuff.

I wouldn’t make anything of this typically, but I knew it was a hit because as I was initially ordering my drink, another girl, also with her boyfriend, walked straight toward me from the side and got within inches of my face. If I had turned just slightly, my lips would have surely landed right on hers. Then as I was getting my drink to go to my table she bumped into me. It actually hurt my elbow a little to be honest. I was like “ow” and kind of looked at her but I mean with her boyfriend (or what seems like it) standing right there, what more can I do than exchange a brief glance/smile?

And lastly, there was another girl with a guy. When she was at the cashier ordering, I walked out to get some change from my car to get a second drink. As I walked back in, she was leaning on the counter and just smiling/staring as I walked in. Damn, lol. I smiled back at her. Then after I went and sat down, she walked back and forth past my table at least 7-8 times in a timespan of 45min, and each time getting pretty close to me as she passed by.

Typically, I go to these cafes to scope out single girls but it seemed Tuesday was “taken day” because there wasn’t 1 single girl in the place for the 3 hours that I was there.

Anyway, I would like to know if anyone has any tips on how to stealthily exchange numbers or pick up a girl who is in the presence of her boyfriend, or who’s boyfriend is in the very near vicinity. I suppose with just eye contact alone I could establish some nonverbal rapport and then slip her a note that says “give me your number”? Except I would have to be really sneaky with that.

I guess what I’m really wondering is do girls do this just to validate themselves, or are they really interested?

Anyone tried it? Tips, crazy stories?

Thanks.

2

See, you know the answer already! :wink:

3

Hmmm … for what it’s worth:

I’m trying to see how you can go wrong taking a person (what they say out loud, or their non-verbal behavior) “at face value.” If you wish to. If she’s flirting with you .. communicating an interest .. then I’d say you are welcome to consider that an invitation to flirt back or to approach and interact.

If she thought you’d just flirt back or perhaps do nothing, she might then have second thoughts when you approach.

Otherwise, I suspect it’s how you approach that makes the difference.

If you go with the assumption that he and she are pair-bonded (married, affianced, committed steady boy/girl friend) then you either are publicly announcing yourself as stupid/unethical/a cad or … you have to be able to find the ethical support for your behavior … but that should be easy: why are you obligated to assume they want an exclusive relationship? You might just be approaching to suss out the possibility of creating a menage a trois. Or not.

If you don’t have an exclusive property / territoriality assumption (and why should you?) then again, you can approach in an unassuming fashion (“Are you a fag-hag and this your best gay friend?” would be very … assuming.)

Yes, she’s a girl and happens to be out with a guy: so what? Unless she has “Taken” tattooed on her forehead, why should you feel reluctant to show interest (flirt, or approach) in return for the interest she’s shown?

And they’re both people, no matter … even if the interest isn’t sexual/romantic … you might become friends all 'round.

So, reiterating my conclusion: it’s okay taking flirting at face value: she’s showing interest in you so it’s all good to act on that – flirting openly in return or approaching.

PS: The worst that I can see happening is that he takes umbrage (you either have a punch-out with him -winner-take-all, heh!- on the spot or you “Beg pardon, no offense intended” bow out) or she becomes embarrassed and “retracts” her flirting.

BTW: If he takes her home and beats her because she flirted with you, it’s not your fault. Likewise, if she wanted a menage a trois and he chickened out .. and therefore she locks him in a chastity device for a month, that’s not your fault either.

4

Step 1.

Identify the boyfriend and confirm that he is, in fact, the boyfriend of the girl you’re interested in.

Step 2.

Approach said boyfriend, extend your hand to shake, and say “Hi, my name is Jackass McDickhead and I’m here to fuck your girlfriend.”

Step 3. (optional)

Wince and mutter “oh crap!” as he smacks the everloving shit out of you.

Moral of the story:

If you want to be the punk that tries to slip into sacred territory, at least have the balls to do the above.

-D4

5

Hey that’s a super good response! I was certainly looking at it all wrong. You’re right, I shouldn’t just assume they’re an exclusive pair, it could be her brother or casual friend. LOL @ “your best gay friend” comment…

But yeah, thanks, this has changed my perspective. Not that I specifically go out looking for people, but I just seemed to notice this yesterday, and now I realize I was looking at it wrong. This is precisely an “ah ha” moment.

Reps :smiley:

You’re right, I actually think I’m assuming too much. Mark put it well, I just need to think of it as her gay friend, brother, casual “LJBF” friend, or something else. And since there’s nothing wrong with flirting at face value, like a casual interaction, I think it should be cool from here on out.

Hahaha, that was indeed a suave move. :smiley: Balls, yes, I think I misplace those from time to time and wonder where they went. You’re right, it’s good to check every now and then to make sure I have them with me.

6

You’re a good man, smooth … if I’ve failed to say it before, it’s my error.

Kudos

7

Before you do anything make sure you know how to fight

8

Couldn’t have said it better.

9

i concur… if i was out with my wife and someone was flirting with her… he’d get a verbal confrontation at best… Let me also say that I DON’T CARE if she started flirting first. The guy always gets blamed… until i get home… then i can be disappointed in her.

requirements to get the girl with the boyfriend

  1. you better be better looking
  2. you better know how to fight
  3. you better have a set of balls
  4. being bigger than him can help but doesn’t really mean anything.
  5. you better be a good talker/insulter

steps to getting the girl with a boyfriend:

  1. find her
  2. assume he’s her boyfriend so you’ll be ready for a wild punch (don’t tell anyone you’re assuming he’s her boyfriend so no-one here will hate you)
  3. have a good arsenal of lines ready to fire
  4. approach like a cocky bastard… if shes going to leave her boyfriend - shes probably shallow and would LOVE a guy just as full of himself.
  5. drop your best lines…
  6. Take her home -and/or- Punch him before he punches you.

lastly… i think the best way to get a girl like this is to search for that “angry” couple… the couple fighting. if he walks out on her… your in. If he’s screaming at her… or causing a scene… you can be there hero that “shuts him up” and sticks up for her.

I probably wouldn’t ever do-it but would love to read stories of those of you who try :slight_smile:

~Haz~

10

If someone tried to pick up my girlfriend seriously, I’d be tempted to pull out all the stops on him. Most lesser-evolved club-dwelling mammals probably wouldn’t bother being tempted (i.e. they’d just do it). And they’d have a point.

Little Big Dick had it coming.

11

Or lay and wait, being a close friend, and personal confidant, and wait until she comes to you for support.
I have spent years undermining a guy who is a total looser dweeb, jobless, living on the couch of a nice girl who I can’t seem to get her away from him, even though she wants out, and expresses the fact on the phone to me.
the best bet is not to try sleeping with them, until they come to you and are free of the relationship they are in. I would let them know it.

and like Data said, expect the guy to come out swinging if you are trying to pick her up in front of the guy.

12

Aproach the group as you would if there were two girls sitting there. You never adress your target right of the bat (according to mystery method) right? Address the guy. Use routines. Number exchange with both of them because your just meeting some cool new people. Invite her to do something and say she can bring the boytoy along. If she doesnt want to bring him she won’t.

I like data4’s answer. We had this discussion before and i decided it wasn’t worth it since an alpha male can just find another girl, why fuck up someone elses relationship.

13

NOOOOOOOO! I don’t care if they’re in a fist fight. You step in and beat the guys ass and she’s gonna jump to his defense. They can beat on each other all they want, but the second you step in, she’s gonna start beating on you.

Agreed!!!

The only reason I see that a person would knowingly try to fuck up somebody else’s relationship is that they’re a narcissistic jerk and don’t give a shit about anybody but themselves.

14

Exactly, as soon as you swing a fist you are on the wrong side.
but offering a steak, bag of frozen peas, and listening to the whining will never get you in, because tomorrow she will likely be right back throwing punches again.

Remember someday you will have in your mind a perfect relationship. and some jerk will do it to you behind your back.

15

Already had it done to me, twice, in two marriages. I didn’t like having it done to me, although it did show me that my ex-wives were pieces of shit too, and that I was better off without them.

Just because somebody fucked me over, does not give me the right to do it to somebody else!

I live by the motto: do onto others as you would like done onto you. Not: do onto others before they do onto you.

Kharma is a fucking bitch! And in the end, you will reap what you sow.

16

I have to disagree here… i’m not saying to beat his ass. You can intervene by asking her if he’s giving her any trouble. If she doesn’t want you involved… she’ll say no. This happened to me at the beach one time… he was screaming at her causing a scene… everyone was looking at them. Me and a buddy approached them and he backed off… she said thank-you and we went on our way. There wasn’t intent on picking her up but we just felt compelled to help.

maybe it wont work in every scenario… nothing wrong with asking tho.

~Haz~

17

Exactly… I don’t think the question was implied to find a long term relationship… just a quick lay…

~Haz~