I Need Advice from Another Girl..........

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
1

First, some background information:
I REALLY like this girl. Sure, she’s kind of sheltered, VERY Christian, and, at most, I’d get a kiss from her. PROBLEM: She has a boyfriend who lives about 20 min. away, hes EXTREMELY Christian, like her, an inch taller than me, 60 lbs. lighter, and apparently a “nice guy.”

This girl is in my humanities class, and on my humanities team. There are 4 of us, 2 guys, 2 girls. The other girl is kinda on my side and wants to see me together with this girl. We all do projects together, see each other AT LEAST 2 hrs. a day, etc. etc.

ANYWAYS, I’m a teaser. I pick on girls, never insult, but I pick on them. I flirt w/ her BIG TIME, and, most of the time, she flirts back. Her boyfriend, who I never met before, messaged me on Facebook and told me to BACK OFF b/c he heard that I was “giving her a hard time,” and if I continue my ways, he’ll “make me stop.”

Now, I know kids that go to that school, and apparently he’s a “major pussy” (using their words). I’m a strong guy, and I kind of accepted his challenge. He hasn’t replied to me, it has been 5 days.

In class, I felt awkward, and I could tell she was trying to spark conversation w/ me. But, I still felt EXTREMELY awkward. So, I typed this up, want to see what you girls think, and then I’ll send it.

I want her to think “WOW! He took the higher road, and my boyfriend IS very insecure, jealous, and maybe a tad overprotective.”

Here’s the letter:

Jamie,

By now, almost our entire class nows about the message your BF sent me. I don’t know if you agree with me, but I just felt a little bit awkward the last couple of days, which isn’t very helpful being on the same humanities team.

First of all, I would like to apologize if I upset you in any way over the past couple of weeks, and if you truly are uncomfortable with it, I’ll cut it out. I didn’t mean anything by it. I have the utmost respect for you (a lot more respect for you than most other girls in that class, I might add), and if I belittled you in anyway, that was my stupidity, and I truly am VERY sorry.

BUT, I would also like to say that I did not like the message your BF sent me. To me, he’s showing that he’s a very jealous and insecure person. IDK what he was trying to prove by threatening me, but I am not the type of person to back down from a threat like that, no matter how impulsive or empty it is.

No, I do NOT want to actually fight him, and I understand he’s just trying to protect his girl (which is why I took the situation, really, with a grain of salt), HOWEVER he could have gone about doing it in a VERY different way while getting his point across. So, tell him that he should take my challenge with a grain of salt as well.

I’m sorry and I give you full permission to slap me if I ever go overboard with the kidding around with you. (:

John

Please, LMK!

2

I would not mention the BF, skipping paragraph 4 and 5. If she wants to think of him as insecure, let it be her own choice.

3

p1 - nows –> knows

p2 - drop the mention of the other girls. That’s negative and will probably get out.

p3 - drop 2nd sentence. She’ll figure it out on her own.

p4 - Drop last sentence.

4

Sorry to hear about your situation. But this is a messy kind of situation.

The girl you got a thing for actually has a BF (meaning she’s interested in him, and vice versa)…and basically you’re in the middle trying to win her over. Hmm, don’t take me wrong… but what he did, doesn’t sound wrong to me. If you had a GF, and another guy was playing/flirting around her major time, how would you feel? (I’m not asking this in a mean way :wink: )

I think that most guys would react that way if they weren’t friends with this “flirty guy” whose joking around with his girl, so basically he might have thought that you’re a player and you’re trying to play around with his girl (but I could be wrong, I’m just guessing), so he was being a bit over-protective. I think that it’s normal to see most BFs get jealous/disappointed when he sees his girl being flirted with another guy (he doesn’t know too well) major time, c’mon! sweetie!

I don’t know about the letter you sent to the girl. I think that you should have seen her in person and talked to her, it makes you look really good when you look at your problems face to face that way there is less drama. Or atleast talk to him in person, it would make things way easier.

Anyhow, you’re just 18, there are many fishes in the sea, she isn’t the last woman on earth lol. I bet there are hotter chicks that are single just waiting for you to ask a cup of coffee :wink:

Hope things go well for you sweetie, and good luck :slight_smile:

5

Thanks but, I don’t drink coffee.:stuck_out_tongue:

6

Hmm, how about the movies with some popcorn then? :wink:

7

Sounds better. HAHA
Usually, movie dates end up with me saying “Eh, not for me.”
HAHA
I’m impossible, I know it.

8

:roll_eyes: Okay how about to the church?

No, bad suggestion! Forget about it LOL! You are Mr.Picky aren’t you?

9

My best friends CONSTANTLY tell me:
I need to lower my standards.
HAHAHA

But truthfully, I think ALL women are beautiful, God’s greatest creation. It’s just that, I LIKE few :slight_smile:

10

I agree with MsSelva I think you should just talk to her in person. If you truely want to take the higher road let her know that you didn’t appreciate the message her boyfriend sent. Let her know she could of just told you (keep the lines of communication open) and because of that you’re not going to flirt with her anymore, but you don’t want it to be awkward between you either. Let her know you don’t want to cause problems, but you do have a crush on her and if some reason it doesn’t work out you’ll be their for her. Girls like it if you can communicate with them. It’s more personal (more scary too), but we feel more of a connection. So I say spray on some instant honesty and have a heart to heart!

11

Amen Sister.

Now, I really have to get some instant honesty! It’s on my priority list lol

12

thank you for your letter. I’m sorry this has kind of been an inhibiter to our team. my boyfriend heard about you, by grace and lizzie joking around. when my boyfriend wrote the note or whatever, he was half joking around, half not. but after he felt bad and realized he was being dumb. so he feels bad he ever said anything to you and regrets threatening you, he was just trying to look out for me. i’ll let you know if you get out of hand :slight_smile: but i just want things to go back to the way they were before all this crap happend. Sorry about all of this.

jamie

^Her reply.
To me, it seems she just wants to be friends w/ me, nothing more, nothing less. Whatever, I’m not gonna try and win her over if she has a bf.

13

Hey, cheer up sweetie :slight_smile: look at it this way, atleast you didn’t waste so much of your time on her (thinking about her -more than just a friend-) Now, you know, and you might move on. Like I said, there are a million girls surrounding you and ya never know whats going’ta happen :wink:

Btw: How 'bout ice cream? Now don’t tell me that you only like chocolate-mocha-extra-caramel-toffee-pistachio nut-with a dazzling candied cherry on top. That would make the girl :roll_eyes: and the poor waiter :open_mouth: faint

LOL! Bad joke, I know haha

Hope things go well for you :slight_smile:

14

haha IDK.

like b4, she was like “dont touch me.”
now, like for instance today, she said she felt sick, so i was like touching her forehead and cheek, and she didnt care. IDK if its b/c she sees me as just a friend and not the guy whose ‘trying to get in her pants’ nemore, but w/e.

HAHA i think i overanalyze WAY too much lol

15

i think you should talk to her about it instead of writing her a letter and it sounds like she likes you.i think you should make her feel like shes your girlfriend since her boyfriend is a little far off she will come around

16

Thanks, but I think she made herself pretty clear.
Also, her friends influence her A LOT. She straight out told me she didn’t like a friend of mine because “her friends told her not to.” The reason being because she (the friend) liked a guy, the guy kinda liked her, but decided he didn’t want a relationship.
That same girl did something similar to me (I went to jr. prom w/ her, wanted to keep it just friends), and her OTHER best friend I turned down in 8th and 9th grade (they’re drama kids, don’t let anything go), and her guy friends don’t like me cuz they see me as “a jock whose trying to pick up their girls.”

Your guess is as good as mine, but for some reason she wants to stay w/ that dude. I KNOW they barely ever see each other, and I don’t think she likes him THAT much. That’s just how I see it.

So, I’m thinking it’s best to wait it out (even though they’ve been “dating” for almost 6 months now) and MAYBE sweep in when they’re over. I see her A LOT, even outside of school, so I’m hoping she does come around. But, when I do put my arm around her, talk to her on a personal level, I don’t think she’s overly comfortable with that.

I’ll wait and see. Keep you guys posted!

17

do you think maybe you only really want her because you really can’t have her?

think about it.

18

I have thought about that. I usually do go after girls that have some sort of dilemma…IDK

19

ah, then we’re kindred spirits hahaha.

20

And if you get her, do you really want to be saddled with all the stifling, oppressive religious baggage that will come with her?