Howdy. Some know me as Charlie (Charlie Brown), so I suppose that’s as good a name as any to use. I live outside a small, rural town in eastern TX on the family home place, helping to keep it up for a surviving parent. With the exception of family, I’ve spent most of my life alone.
Part of the reason for that is because I’m gay. I’ve known I was different since I was about 5 or 6 years old. But I also knew early on that being different in that way wasn’t okay with people around here. So, I had to be like everyone else. Apparently, I played the part too well over the years. I’m single & always have been. I never let myself be forced into marriage by anyone. I knew that wouldn’t be fair to anyone. I also built up a wall around myself from an early age, to help protect myself from being hurt by others. I also kept anyone from becoming a close friend, even in school. And I suppose that distancing even applied to my family, too, as least as far as my social life went. I never really enjoyed being with school friends or my many cousins growing up, just because I had to keep my guard up around everyone.
I didn’t really start socializing until I was over 40. I did meet someone special when I was 41. It was love at first sight for me. I dated him for about a year, moving over 100 miles & starting a new occupation just to be closer to him. But then I got dumped, without explanation & any closure to the relationship. I had to accept the fact that he was just a user & a liar. Everyone I’d met thru him turned their backs on me & I found myself very alone in a large city. I moved back to my small hometown. I went thru almost 3 years of depression, anxiety & panic attacks. What little self-esteem I have finally developed vanished. The few real friends I had during this time, both gay & straight, also abandoned me. I don’t give my friendship & trust out easily anymore. And I’ve found it really hard to meet anyone.
But it would be nice to find someone I could be open & honest with. Due to my circumstances & poverty, I rarely travel out of town anymore. There really isn’t any place to socialize around here. I see interesting guys in passing or when I do happen to go shopping out of town, but I don’t have the confidence or self-esteem needed to initiate conversation & introductions. It would be nice to have a way that I could get others to approach me first & show interest. I’m a great conversationalist once things get started, but I need an edge. It doesn’t help that the area I live in is still very homophobic, to the point that most other gay or bi men don’t even approach each other unless you meet each other online or at one of the very distant clubs in a very large rural area. And I know my age isn’t helping either. Most guys my age either look like crap, are married or divorced & exploring their “bi-ness” on the downlow…which means they’re only interested in NSA anonymous speed sex. For someone who was once celibate for over 10 years & rarely meets anyone now, I’m not opposed to having a sexual tryst now & then, but I really don’t care to settle for just anyone now.
I’ve always been aware of how scent can attract or repulse someone. I’m a fan of cologne myself, when I can afford it or receive it as a gift. After meeting my former boyfriend, I realized how much his natural pheromones turned me on. I haven’t really met anyone else who has done that. An ex-friend & workout partner of mine, who was very handsome, wore cologne that I found stimulating. However, his natural pheromones were a turn-off, so I never worried about crossing the line with him. Unfortunately, after 8 years of friendship, I suppose he just couldn’t handle having a fag for a friend.
When I was going out socially to distant clubs back in 2000-2002, I wore a cologne that I altered slightly & was often asked what I had one. It was Coty’s Vanilla Musk cologne for men. I added a few drops of some essential oils, one in particular, and it really got attention from others.
I’m tired of being alone all the time. It would be nice if I could find some way to attract a few guys my way, if only to develop some new friendships. I’m hoping that experimenting with a few pheromones such as those discussed in these forums, might help me with that.
Welcome to the forums.
It’s hard to live the life that you want especially when people are judging you, it’s always an uphill battle. Also toss that in with the difficulties with being in relationships and finding relationships, its hard. But things always do get better, you have to pick yourself up and help you help yourself. I can only imagine what you’re going through but I do know that you gotta make a decision to change your life or keep living it. I’m not saying that you’re doing anything wrong, but if there is that unhappiness, I would try to do anything and everything possible not to feel that anymore.
As for the pheromones, I do know Mystery boy is the only product that AD offers that are suited for the lifestyle you want. However, there are also things like Instant Openness and Instant Shine that will help you with being upbeat and social.
Good luck on your journey and hope all the best
Welcome from a fellow Texan. In fact, I used to manage the Taco Bell in Kaufman, I love East Texas.
Growing up in Texas, especially in small rural towns, I know its hard to be “different,” in a place where everyone knows your business. You pass gas on one side of town, and the other side has heard about it before your friends can say, “he who smelt it dealt it.”
I also know where you are coming from when it comes to living for others, before taking care of yourself.
This is a great place to learn, not just about the pheromones, but how to work on other parts of your life using the pheromones.
There are great members here who will be ready to answer any questions you have. I myself am a newbie, but have learned so much in a really short amount of time.
As far as things like depression and panic attacks, once again I know where you’re coming from.
There’s a lot of help out there when it comes to building your confidence, self-esteem, and self-love. Self-love is usually where it all begins. If you can get to a point where you can look in the mirror and say to yourself, “I love you Charlie and accept you exactly as you are.” You will be well on the road to finding emotional, physical, and spiritual healing.
The mones can help you get a start on building that confidence too. Even if its a placebo effect as some naysayers will claim, I don’t care. Because when I wear something like A314, whether its just the product, or its the belief in the product, or a combination of all of the above, I’m walking taller, holding my head up higher, and taking less guff off of people, while not over reacting to petty situations.
We may only get one shot at this experience we call life, and if we do reincarnate, its not like we’re gonna remember the last shot, so enjoy it. Experience it. I look at life like a roller coaster. I don’t wait in line for half an hour just see those bars on the car pop up, walk straight through to the exit and say…“that was fun.”
NO! I get on that ride, and enjoy all the trills and excitement that even the scariest of turns and hills give me.
Welcome again, you’re about to embark on a fun and interesting ride. 
Welcome!
I’ve lived all over and I came back to E Tex. I love it here!
I think you just need some inner game work and the right -mone mix…
Hey there and welcome to the forum. We are totally an open community and love everyone here equally. It just doesn’t matter what you are into, what does matter is who you are as a person. Our key philosophy is to make the world a better place.
Personally I’ve tried the Mystery Boy and while I am not gay it does project this ultimate social scenario about the person wearing it. I’m not sure that’s what you need right now. It does sound to me as if you are seeking something to work on your inner self and I do believe the IG might be the right way to go. Pair that with some IH and you get this worldly wise man that people can really connect with. Once you have that area of your life figured out everything else will fall into place.
I’m sorry that your GC has been delayed but I’m getting caught up now. I’ll be sending it to your email in just a short while.
I want to remind you to please select a best answer for your thread. It enables others to discover who is providing the best answer. This will hopefully encourage others to emulate them in helping answer our newest friends.
I totally hope you find what you are seeking and look forward to your participation.
Welcome to the forum.
Thanks for the info. My life pretty much sucks as far as friendships, romance, income & work goes, but I do have a great family that I enjoy being around(lots of relatives). I really don’t have a problem interacting with others once things get started. I’ve been in service-oriented jobs since I was in high school. I’m a great conversationalist & have always been one of those people who enjoy helping others out, even to my own detriment. I don’t expect a thank you or reward from helping others. I just do it because I like it or it’s the right thing to do. Unfortunately, I’ve run into a lot of users because of it, including former friends & the one relationship I’ve had in my life.
I have to interact with people in my current job at the gym & I help put on 3 large gatherings (2 family reunions & 1 organization) each year. I know a lot of people locally & have numerous casual acquaintances. I don’t think I have a problem with people.
But I don’t have any close friends. Never have, really. I know that part of that had to do with growing up gay & not allowing anyone to get too close. I have had a few close friends in the past, but they seem to disappear on me without explanation. Some were gay, also. Others were straight. I’ve always been very open & honest with anyone I considered a close friend.
I’ve never been one that has been invited to social gatherings of any kind…unless, of course, I was needed to bring something or help with getting something done in preparation. I’m not a club-type person (not that there are really any close by or of real interest). The 2 years I did try going to clubs did result in my meeting the one relationship I had, but overall, I spent most of my time alone sitting at a table sipping on some winky-dink drink. I chalked it up to others thinking I was either someone’s husband or one of the bouncers (big arms & chest).
In my small hometown, the only chances I get to meet anyone is in passing, really, unless they come by the gym during the 1 or 2 hours I’m there during the week. I might make 1 trip out of town each month. So, that’s why I thought that having some sort of “edge” like pheromones might attract someone new of interest. Of the casual acquaintances I have right now, I can’t really say there are any that I’d want as a close friend or romantic partner. I think I would really like someone new & unknown. I’m going to make the effort to get out & go to a few area “festivals” coming up this Autumn, so I think that using some pheromones might help, if only to have a good time while I’m there.
I’m definitely going to try the Mystery Boy, as suggested, since it seems to be the only thing available for someone like myself who’s gay. And I might add Instant Shine to that. Anything else, I’m not too sure of. I think I need to do a little more reading before making any decisions. Thanks again for the advice, so far.
Mystery Boy is not your only option.
There is IO, IG, IH, IS and even IJ to give you a bad boy vibe.
I think its been mentioned in other threads that men have gotten hits from gay men when sporting Ammo and TUTH.
I think this is definitely a question you should ask in the open forum, that way you will get a wider variety of responses, as this forum is mainly for the introductions and to start you off with an idea of what might be good for you to spend your $25 on.
Good luck, I look forward to reading about your progress if you start a journal.