Here it is:The way that you naturally seek self-expression and ego satisfaction cuts against the grain of personal integration. Simply put, you get in your own way. Locate the source of your self-imposed conflict and work toward forms of expression that bring the conflicting elements of your personality together on friendly terms.
I read this I and think understand it but when I try to word it with my own thinking and analogies I can’t make it out properly. Odd request but I figured I’d give it a try
“The way that you naturally seek self-expression and ego satisfaction cuts against the grain of personal integration.”
Seeking self-expression & ego satisfaction are in conflict with each other. self-expression is essentially an ego-less pursuit because really gaining insight into yourself means putting aside how you would like to be (stop trying to satisfy your ego) and looking at who you really are.
The second part basically just repeats itself - the self-imposed conflict is between seeking self-expression and seeking ego satisfaction. Bringing your personality together on friendly terms is essentially personal integration.
My view is its an oxymoron since we ALL have ego’s. It makes us who we are so if we can’t feed our ego’s than how are we to express our selves? Some people have inflated ego’s and that is a problem for them, but seeking any type of satisfaction is serving the ego. IMHO
Heres the thing about me. I have this constant need to prove myself. I know it comes from feeling inferior all the time and its hard to just let it be. Thats my ego screaming for satisfaction that will never be satisfied.
I read more and more about myself and look back at key experiences in my life every waking hour that I have time to contemplate it. In my 23 years of life I’ve come to grip with who I am and my limitations but I feel so dissatisfied because I know whats wrong with me and why a good majority people don’t take to my personality and yet I can’t do much about it and my personality needs to bond with others to feel fulfilled yet its so HARD to BOND.
Pheromones are a very very good duck tape but in my case sooner or later that pipe isn’t gonna be able to hold the massive pressure of the oncoming flow and I’m going have to take it on all by myself.
My needs to learn about myself dont really make me have a better ego persay they just give me self understanding. When I prove to others that Im good at what I was trying to make them see I was good at I do boost my ego. These parts of myself fight with each other. Introspection vs Getting rid of the fat and being completely lean (hard thing to put in regular words for me)
It’s about the conflict between nature (who we are), demeanor (how we present ourselves) and aspiration (who we want to be) . The statement is saying that the way you try to present yourself to the world, and the way you go about trying to become the person you want to be is in conflict with your inner nature.
This is something I think is quite common in American culture. The US is one of the most religious nations…at least vocally. We’re raised going through the motions of attending service, prayer, telling ourselves we’re good “God fearin Christian folk”. Yet our lifestyle is among the most decadent and amoral you’ll find. A lot of people suffer from stress and depression without realizing that they haven’t reconciled their personal belief system with the lifestyle they live.
Now I’m not saying your issue would be religion or based on anything remotely close to religion. I’m citing it as a common example of how conflict can occur within a person. This statement means that somewhere inside of you something wants…perhaps even needs to go in a certain direction. However other elements are in opposition to it. I experienced something close to this myself years ago. I was suffering depression attached to guilt over my lifestyle and was unable to reconcile picking up women, with my beliefs as a Christian. I eventually did manage to bring the two issues together and I feel fine about who I am and how I live my life.
It’s possible you may have some moral issues about where you are now or where you want to be.
If you’re studying finance and economics but believe that rich people are greedy and exploitive…you will experience conflict.
If you sleep with a lot of women but believe that any type of premarital or non monogamous sex is immoral and sinful you will feel stress that will manifest itself in your demeanor.
So the questions to ask
Am I the person I want to be?
Am I the person others perceive me to be?
Am I feeling any moral or ethical conflict either with who I am today, or the person I want to be?
Nope, maybe one day when a good percentage of my ducks are lined up
Nope, no amount of social dynamics or mystery method will change the core of me. My vulnerability always has a way of bleeding through my guise no matter what mones I wear or what mask I put on for the public.
I want more of an ego so my self esteem is more stabilized and I dont have to nurture myself all day long. I’m a walking contradiction. Half of me wants to accept people for who they are and the other half of me wants to criticize the hell out of everything I deem negative or annoying in my perception of that said person.
Im fixed in my morals and ethics and even in the case of the pheromones. Pheromones cant have any intentions of their own so possible amoral or unethical intentions lie within an individual themselves if they even happen to subscribe to such notions. As my father always told me. Guns can’t be blamed for killing people or being violent. It is the humans themselves that wield guns for such purposes (outside the exceptions) showing their disregard for life.
I know I asked about religion and I decided not to go this Sunday or any Sunday. I may not be God’s spinning image but I try to express any amount of goodness that I’m capable of when interacting with others and to me thats my way of expressing my connection to Him. Whether thats good enough for Him or not I’ll let Him decide when that fateful day comes.
I figured I’d state it all and I guess somewhat of an update to the religious thread I did. I like your example using religion though.
