Hey guys I need your advice on how to get out of this friend zone.I am very joyful and outgoing with people once I get to know them and I have been known to be the center of attraction at work or at school. However I have not been lucky with the ladies. There is a lady that is on my job, we have became very close but not close enough. She dose like me and have told me she wants to take things slow. She get very nervous when we’re together and there are times when we will flirt with each other. I have asked her out on dates but she get cold feet. She’s not going with no one, and she had told me that she wants a boo ( boyfriend). I want to take things to the next level with her, but I don’t want to wait a year or two before being her boyfriend.Do you guys have any advice for this?
Blackadam71
This is a BIG topic to cover, but I’ll see if I cant help you. Can you first provide us with more information. What type of mones do you have? Have you pushed the relationship, kissed her? What are your boundaries like, do you bend to her will?
Tell us more about the situation. Leave no detail unturned 
An important thing to remember, especially when it comes to friend zone situations, is that pheromones can help, but they can only go as far as you are willing to take them. What I mean is, if you are wearing pheromones around her, it may increase her attraction for you, but she seems like she is an introverted/shy person so she probably won’t act on any new feelings she gets. You will have to make a move if you want to see something different. You say you have already asked her out and she declines, and I’m sorry to say it, but she may just not be interested in you in that way. Not trying to burst your bubble or anything, just trying to help you put things into perspective. Again, it’s very possible she is into you and wants to take things further with you, but her personality may not allow her to as quickly as you hope.
And if she gets nervous around you she may have had a bad experience in the past with another man, which could impede the progress you hope to make. Many women that have been burned in the past will take things very slow with their future relationships in an effort to avoid getting hurt again.
I don’t have any mones yet, but I’m planing to order samples of IO and IH. Would that be good?
Have I pushed the relationship? No, not at the present time I haven’t. When I first meet her on the job it was as if she was throwing herself at me, trying to get to know me. She would give me compliments like, " you have such a nice voice. I like your professional voice." Or she would say strange stuff like ," there a lot of women on this job you may find your wife here." She also knows that I’m in college and I’m a intern as well. and that I will be graduating in May with a bachelor degree in social work. For weeks I would not give this women any attention. But for some reason or anther once I started given her attention, the compliments had stop a little. When we are in the office my cubicle is be hide her cubicle and our backs are facing each other. When we talk to each other we would come very close to one another and swing our chairs around and talk to each other. There have been a few days where that when no one is around and the boss did not come in that day, we would talk like this for hours enjoying each others company. It would almost seem like I’m on a date but I suppose to be working. In these moments I would tell her how beautiful she is and how good she looks, she starts to blush. But when I start touching her on her shoulders she pulls away and swings her chair back to her cubicle,smiling. There where times when I had walked passed her cubicle and at the corner of my eye I would see her looking or staring at her computer screen very strangely. it would seem that she didn’t want me to catch her looking at me.
Do I bend to her will? I think I do. When she takes a break( she is a smoker , I’m not), she would tell me to come outside with her while she is smoking. This is not always the case. When we eat lunch, there are times when I buy her lunch and there are times when she buys me lunch. After hours we would not call each other but we would text one anther. In our texts our messages start out pure, but for some strange reason I’m always catching her taking a bath or she is in the nude. I don’t know if she wants me to talk dirty to her or what? One time I text her and she was taking a bath, she ask me did I wanted have a picture of her in to nude? I said " Hell Yeah". and she stopped the text. I think she is teasing me. I think she like all of the attention. I have writing her poems, giving her flowers and I still don’t know what to do. Help me out guys!!
These are both very good products. You may want to get the 2x version of them because they usually take up to 4 sprays of each (1x) to get noticeable results.
You should if you want it to go anywhere. It’s not going to happen on it’s own.
If a woman is giving clear signs that she is attracted to you and you do not respond, she will eventually lose interest because she assumes that you aren’t interested in her. And before you started giving her attention she had to earn yours. Once you started giving it back, she didn’t have to work as much for it.
If you are still in the office it will always have the work undertone. Until you take this out of the office and into an actual social environment, it will not escalate to what you want it to.
Too many compliments can hurt you, not help you. I know some people may say this sounds like PUA talk, but it isn’t. If you give her too much praise you will come off as more of a beta male than an alpha male, and 90% of women seek an alpha male.
You are already seeing her all the time in the office and talking to her for hours some days. You don’t need to follow her on her smoke break. Just tell her you want to finish up some work you still have left.
No you aren’t, she is making that up to see how you respond. I used to know a girl that did this. Whenever I called her she would be “just getting out the shower” or “in the middle of changing”. Women often do this because they know that by saying this you are picturing them naked. So that tells you something right there – she wants you to think of her naked 
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Of course she is teasing you 
. She wants you to make a move. She is giving you all the signs and you aren’t taking them. But I highly recommend you don’t do anything at work. It could have some serious repercussions. Don’t ask her out, TELL her you are going out. Example: “We’re going to dinner this Friday, I’ll pick you up at 8”. Gauge her response. If she says no or rejects the idea without giving a VALID reason, then she is just a tease and you probably won’t go anywhere with it.
Of course she does, every woman does 
. Don’t do the poem and flower thing. It makes you come off as weak and willing to bend to her will. Most women won’t date a man like that, they will just use them until there’s nothing left for them to get, then they’ll move to the next one.
Please keep in mind what I’ve wrote is based off my own personal experience with women. I may be young, but I’ve been around and seen some stuff lol. In a nutshell, stop giving her crap, stop complimenting her, stop following her around everywhere, and GO OUT WITH HER 
.
This all makes sense, but i still had one question… when it comes to going out for food. Do we want to pay most of the time, or not? this is one i always struggle with…because paying for girl is what everyone is taught, but does this make you more of a beta…since you always giving in?
Pay for the dinner and leave big tip … Also order for her … take charge!
I pay when it’s a date, but if it isn’t a date and we’re just out to lunch, I don’t see a reason to pay. If anything it makes it kind of worse for you because if you aren’t on a date and you’re already paying for her, you are setting certain standards that she is getting accustomed to, like you buying things for her. And if you don’t end up going out with her and you all of a sudden stop buying her lunch, she’s going to think something is up. But I guess at that point who cares, you aren’t dating anyways . But again, if it’s an actual date then yes, I pay unless she is adamant that she wants to pay.
As for ordering for her like reddog suggested, I personally don’t like doing this. They’re adults, they can figure out what they want to eat. If they’re taking forever to pick something I’ll usually say something like, you should get that, it looks good. But I don’t order for them. I did this once and the girl told me 3 months after (once we were officially “dating”) that it had made her mad but she didn’t say anything. No idea why she chose 3 months later to tell me, but that’s besides the point .
WOW! scotties123 has stolen my thunder, just like a thunder stealer would. Unequivocally the same advice I would give. Perfect
Onto the mones: While both of those are great products to produce social results, build report and keep conversation lines open, I would go about it a bit differently. It already sounds if you both have a great social interaction going with your natural abilities. Like scotties123 has already so eloquently wrote you, my friend, need to break out of the friend zone and show her a more rugged, sexual side.
Whenever I speak to a woman I find sexual innuendo. I mean everything: she could be talking about cooking pasta and somehow I will get that she is looking to be tied up, blind folded and have ice cubes dripped onto her exposed skin. I will call them out on it and you know what? At the very least I get a good laugh, but I would say 1/3rd of the time I get laid. Women are just as sexual as men are if not more. Her innuendo’s are telling you she wants a man with boundaries and who is comfortable with his own sexuality.
She’s pretty much thinking right now that you are a doormat. I’m not sure how far along you are in her use and abuse for everything he’s got while dangling possible intimacy as a carrot folder, but the further along you are the less likely she will ever sleep with you. So my advice is STOP being a doormat and start being a man.
Think of it this way: Why would anyone want to go out with a guy who isn’t strong enough to say NO to a girl at whatever ridiculous request she has. She wouldn’t feel safe if they went on a date and someone tried to hurt her. In her mind you are not strong enough, have no boundaries and therefore cannot protect her and make her feel safe. She is thinking long-term here and as such if she were to have children and you said yes and bent over backwards to any request she made, then most likely your children would not survive and therefore you are not valued as a protector or for replication value. The primary goal of man is to LIVE. We extend our lives through our children.
I’m suggesting something that makes you come across with dark and mysterious tendencies. IJ and/or A314. Skip all the socials
When a guy see’s a hottie with a guy “HE” deems a jerk, he’s usually wrong about the guy. We make that jerk fit a persona that’s not true. The other guy is a jerk in our eyes, because he’s everything we are not. He’s the protector, he’s the provider, he doesn’t get jealous, he’s alpha and has boundaries. This is where we see him as a jerk though, because he does have boundaries. He is willing to call her a brat and say no. He doesn’t do nice things for her to win her favor, which is quite frankly, manipulative, he does nice things when they are deserved.
Get yourself some IJ, and have enough gumption to move on if that’s what it calls for. You don’t have to be mean, but you don’t have to be abused either.
I agree with Scottie COMPLETELY on the paying thing. Unless I’m seriously looking for a relationship with the girl then I’ll ask her straight up if she has money to pay her own way. It’s not about being a jerk, it’s about making sure that you’re not pushed or pressured into doing what you don’t want. Now if we’re going out on an “official” date then mostly likely yes, I will pay.
Also, with the friend zone thing, I’ve got an interesting story to tell. My current GF techincally had me kinda in the friend zone but the way I defeated that was 3 drops of A314 with socials or every now and then somekind of sexual product (like Ammo or MX302). I asked her once how she felt about us, and if we could be together. She stated “I’m unsure right now, I’m not emotinally stable”. My response was “cool, no pressure”.
After that I continued talking to her, although I wasn’t asaggressive however I still continued to use A314 around her to keep my value high and sure enough one day she text me and straight up told me to ask her out again. I did, and she accepted saying she was almost scared I’d shoot her down.
The point here is that you MUST let it be known to her that you are high value and worthy of more than just the friend zone. You’ve made it known that you want to be in a relationship, good, because that’s letting her know the LJBF thing isn’t enough (for now ). Second, I suggest you continue to socialize with other women. This is DHV, and it will let her know that you’re a hot commodity. Third, if she still doesn’t want to be with you, move on. You’re a good man, and there are plenty of women looking for a guy like you.
BTW scotties123 you got my vote for TOTW this week and reps. Great post
Thanks guys . I’ve seen the friend zone trap so many times, not only online but also in real life. And anyone that says they’ve never fallen into it before themselves is a liar . But to live is to learn, so whatever ends up happening with your lady friend, use it as a lesson for future endeavors.
I think the friendzone is little exaggerated too. It is possible to get out of it.
One way that I do not recommend but worked for me was I got into a fight with this one girl and didn’t talk to her for almost 2 months. She came up to me to end it. I did apologize as part of it was my fault (admitting when you are wrong is not un-alpha! It is not an easy thing to do and people will respect you for it) but ever since then it seems a little more flirty between us and she has been giving me more attention. In other words, the fact that I stuck to what I said for so long and didn’t just take her crap made her respect me more. At least thats what it seems like to me.
Its not impossible to get out of, it just requires more work. Stop letting her do whatever she feels like around you and you will gain her respect and she might look at you in a different light. Good Luck man.
Apologizing for something you did that was wrong is indeed very ALPHA. Apologizing for something you didn’t do wrong is bad. It is possible to get out the friend zone too. It really depends how though. Having a woman walk on you as a door mat until you explode is still not a positive impact of boundaries. It actually might deepen the rift by saying I can’t control my own emotions. I’m not saying that’s what happened with you MaidenFan01 at all. I’m just saying that anyone who finds themselves in this situation must evaluate all options and make a correct informed decision.
One thing that I’ve noticed is that even though girls say they want a “nice guy, that does what I want, etc” they don’t really mean it, at least not all of it.
I’ve noticed that girls tend to respond better to men they view as equals or slightly better than them. Why? Because as SteveO pointed out, girls want to feel SAFE and also want to feel GIRLY. They WANT a guy that will stand his ground and not give in to their bullshit…at least not all the time.
I’ve been talking with a girl for over a month and one of the main reasons she continues talking to me is because she says I’m her equal. That I can match her blow for blow in conversations both intellecual and sexual. Oh and as I’ve said before, 2-3 drops of A314 work wonders.
That is why I said I do not recommend it lol. I just stopped talking to her really, except maybe a hi when I saw her or answer a question. No real conversations though really. She got the hint, knew why I was doing it and came up to me to end it. So no real explosion of emotions, just kind of ignored her.
LOL and that’s why I said: “I’m not saying that’s what happened with you MaidenFan01 at all. I’m just saying that anyone who finds themselves in this situation must evaluate all options and make a correct informed decision.”
I was agreeing with you
Thanks for the insight I have already stop going outside to smoke. and I going to stop with the poems. But what should I do about Valentines Day? Should I give her flowers? And her birth day is on February 26th as well.
Even though I may bend a little, we do fuss at each other ( jokingly). At times I do act like a jerk, mocking at her which do make her upset a little. but I do know her limits.
Thank K-train, I do have two ladies in mind and both are in church. One of them have this strange look or stare when I walk by just like the lady in the office like I describe in the thread. Are they checking me out? Or what? This lady sits very near or right behind me at church. She would look straight ahead like she was a statue or something. I think she saw me looking at her checking me out and she freaked out. What to you guys think?