Hi all… thought I’d duck into the men’s section for a quick question…
When you are extremely attracted to a female, what goes through your head and how do you act in front of her?
Does personality type affect this?
Thank you in advance, gentlemen.
bows and exits
Sweaty palms, fidgeting, stuttering, loss of appetite, dry mouth, bad posture, dizziness, tight pants.
what if the dude is an extreme extrovert ? player?
Some guys that are “extreme extroverts/players” are sometimes overcompensating. To me personality is everything. As a society we put too much emphasis on physical appearance. Attractiveness doesn’t impress me. It’s something we’re born with. What turns me on in a women is how she takes care of herself physically, but more importantly, personality, morals, education, ect. It’s a package deal. She can look like a model, but when she opens her mouth and speaks like a 5th grader the deal is off. I look at the overall, not just one aspect.
Extreme extrovert or not, the subconscious IOIs are the same. Look for the grooming gestures: he smooths his shirt, pushes a hand through his hair, stands straighter. He may angle his body towards you in conversation or take up a protective stance around you.
If he’s just met you, as in only a second or two ago and he instinctively makes that split-second judgement, hot-or-not, look for the widening of the eyes and a small but sharp intake of breath. You’ve passed the hot-or-not test. It only takes a second.
Musk
hmm… protective stance… elaborate ?
Speaking of puffing one’s chest out, I work with a pain in the arse dickhead who is always trying to act macho - I think he is way over-rated by the female population… The other girls flirt with him non stop but I basically ignore him so he’s been a little rude to me these days…
IOI’s were definitely there in the beginning… 
Just checking my hottest-girl-in-the-office position.
Nah seriously I was asking the Q to figure someone else out. Just got side tracked…
In shorter terms, Swine Flu 
OK, I’ll use an example: ‘I’ve got your back.’
This is the most frequently used example that I’ve seen and I’ve caught myself using it more than once. It’s used when you already know each other as it can be considered creepy or threatening for a woman if she doesn’t know the man. Rarely do strangers do this.
He’ll stand behind you, closer than social norms usually allow, almost touching. He won’t be directly behind you, but off to the side, so that your shoulders overlap. Depending on how comfortable he feels with you, he may put an arm around your back and rest a hand on your hip.
It’s a invitation, subconsciously or not, for you to lean back against him and into his protection. His positioning allows him to keep watch for other male competitors - who normally keep their distance, recognising it for what it is: ‘Keep away, this one’s mine.’
It also allows him easy access to the erogenous zones - the neck and ear - should he choose to escalate. He can whisper sweet nothings in your ear, wrap both arms around your waist and pull you in close if he chooses.
That’s if you’re not complete strangers. If you’ve just met, look for the IOIs already mentioned, the full body scan, mirroring your own body language, unbroken eye contact - if a guy’s attracted to you, even in passing, his eyes will track you. Anything more than a split second glance means he’s checking you out and is attracted, even if only on an animal level.
In conversation, assuming you’re not wearing a low-cut top, the eye contact will be almost constant.
Musk
It really depends on the guy. Personally, I act the same around a girl I’m attracted to as I do around my friends (minus all the penis jokes ). Definitely look for the eyeing up and down. Even if I don’t initially realize I’m doing it, I always do this with a girl I’m attracted to. But as far as “players” are concerned, you’d probably see a LOT of showing off, he might put down other people to make himself seem better by comparison, try to stand taller and straighter, and did I mention showing off? I see it all the time at clubs and bars. Guys posing and doing whatever they can to impress a girl. Funny thing is, me sitting back and just going with the flow gets me more than they get trying their hardest.
A very slight raising of the eyebrow when you first see them. This is another pass for the “hot-or-not” test 
For me, everything about a girl becomes more about her looks. She looks better/hotter if her personality is better etc. If you get a small eyebrow raise everytime you meet - chances are there’s something there!
I tend to neg far more than necessary. The way I show someone that I’m comfortable being around them and that I’m friendly is by making fun of them, or giving them a bit of a hard time. Pushing the little button that annoys them. It’s a very Auckland thing to do - I’m sure it’s not the same in all countries - let alone regions of this one.
As for boob glances etc. Take them as an indication that he could be interested, but not a definite thing. I tend to catch myself out looking at a girl’s boob or butt or other body parts rather frequently. Not always interested - just a reflex.
Yep, I find myself doing that a lot too. Of course if she’s into me as much, I will get it right back and just as good. Normally within 30 seconds there will be hitting (from her) in a playful way and then holding on to you after that (fast track to kino). This seems to be a kiwi thing… or at lest at doesn’t work as well in other countries. If you try and do this in other places say Switzerland (where I must say there are no woman that go out that are below an 8/10!!!
the guys are good looking too!!!) you will get them leaning back and going “huh?” could have just been a language thing… And lots of other places as well. But works a treat in NZ. Oh, and if you Americans want to come here and pick up woman. Do it! take the piss and you will get it right back, don’t be a wimp or our woman will eat you alive!
As far as glancing up and down, doesn’t work that way for me. If I really really like a girl I’m just looking at her eyes. My friends will tell me what a (fill in blank) she has, but I wouldn’t even have noticed.
Other then that the ioi’s mentioned are dead on
What goes through my head is… wait, which head are we talking about? It’s either static or screaming. lol
How do I act? Usually I will find it hard not to look at her, and I tend to face her whenever she is around (chest). I find it hard not to look at whatever physical feature(s) she has that are appealing to me. Sometimes I get lucky and it’s stuff like her eyes, lips, shoulders. Other times… well… I also tend to initiate Seduction Plan Zulu. That is to say, I try to get to know her slowly and gently and decide if she’s worth pursuing for a serious situation. If she is, I try to spend more time with her, talk with her more, invite her to do things with me that are fun, tease her, laugh with her. If she’s receptive and I’m getting IOIs I’ll move to touching, and once the touching starts, it usually doesn’t take long to get to kissing, which usually leads rapidly to whatever is going to happen either sexually or relationship wise.
If I am dealing with a woman I know prefers aggressive men, I’ll just straight up tell her she’s getting a ticket for being too hot and causing a disturbance of the piece, and that she better stop or I’ll spank her. lol Something like that. It depends on the woman.
Does personality type affect it? You bet. Both mine and hers. I learned a long time ago that you have to speak to a woman in her own language. So if she’s aggressive, I’ll be aggressive back. If she’s timid, I’ll approach gently. If she’s playful and silly, I’ll play with her, or entice her to play with me. If she likes aggressive men, I’ll challenge her to arm wrestling, or if she likes sporty guys, I’ll tell her I can whip her butt at some sport I know she’ll play with me. You don’t go to Japan speaking Russian if you want to get the girl.
Basically, I try to engage her in interaction with me, if possible, and escalate if I like what I discover. Looks might catch my eye, but it takes personality and brains to catch my mind and heart.
here’s my answer: it totally depends on the guy and what type of persona he has. There are just so many factors here. Most men do not show IOI’s…either they don’t care or they are suppressing reactions. the ones that do are often times embarassed or come of as effeminiate.
long story short…IOI’s won’t do shit for you. If you wanna know if you’re hot..look in the mirror..this should be easy. if you wanna know if someone else thinks you’re hot…look in the mirror. men aren’t as choosy as women are..if you’re not overweight, you don’t have a bad face, and u make an attemp to take care of your hair and other physical appearance stuff…then you have a very good chance of being hot assuming that you don’t have stuff going on that turn men off like a screeching laugh or a bitchy attitude.