What are you meant to do when you see IOI in every day places?

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
1

Since wearing ammo and IS and since I have started being congruent with them, I have noticed many more women than usual looking at me and making eyes while holding eye contact with me until they look away a few seconds later. They’re probably looking away because I am not smiling at them or showing interest other than looking back at them. Some women have smiled at me and people seem more talkative when I’m wearing IS.

My question is, how are you meant to respond to IOI like women in public, shops etc when they look at you in that way. I have caught women looking at me since wearing ammo and IS and they look away as if they have been caught. These are attractive women I would be interested in dating.

Are you supposed to smile? Or start a conversation?

2

Sure. Smile, throw in an eyebrow flash and start a casual conversation.

Women stare at men just as much as men stare at women. Only difference is, men usually are less perceptive and don’t notice… It’s a good thing that you caught a girl looking :slight_smile:

The mones are working. Ammo + IS = attraction. You still have to make conversation, get some rapport and ask her number. Good luck.

3

Do exactly whatever you feel like doing - but do not ignore/look shamefaced/stony-faced when you get one of these IOIS.

Interact/engage/respond - Even if its just a smile, holding eye contact just a little longer than normal, winks/leers can come-off sleazy, whilst an emotionless stare back at them is near-certain to disturb them in all the wrong ways. Or simply start chatting and pass the time of day. If you do, comment on something smart she’s wearing, a good colour choice or fine choice of shoes/accessories - don’t comment on her attractiveness directly as again, that can be too much straight-out. Also remember that some women love throwing-out IOIs just ot get a response and that for them is enough - You should adopt the same spirit. :slight_smile:

And just take it with a “no bother” air if she scurries away, clams-up or blanks you. There will be plenty more! :slight_smile:

4

Thanks Himerous and mobocaster. I need to make myself feel ok about smiling at women. I can do it for women I’m not attracted to who I notice looking at me but when I see beautiful women looking at me it completely throws me because they are so attractive.

I have been trying not to look stony-faced or shamefaced, I have just had a normal look on my face when looking back at them but I guess even that’s not good. I will try and smile when I notice a woman looking at me and it’s not that bad if they don’t smile back.

This is very good advice, exactly the kind of information that makes sense to me for this :slight_smile:

5

Nice thread. I have thought about this as well. Lately, I’ve seem to be getting some good IOIs and some good eye contact and even some DIHL but oftentimes I’m not really in the mood or just don’t feel like interacting with these women, yet I feel like I should, because deep down I do, just not at those particular times. I felt like I got so much attention today and I wasn’t even in the mood for it. Perhaps it’s best to suck it up and just do it.

6

Thanks Jdub :slight_smile: it sounds like you have had a similar experience to me with lots of women looking directly at you and holding eye contact for a few seconds but you don’t smile back or show interest? The problem I have is that I want to smile and show interest because I think many of them are beautiful, I just need to start making myself smile and make myself feel like it’s ok and to smile and show interest.

At the moment I just look at them and then there’s nothing else to do after that but for them to look away after a few seconds. It seems the pheros and my becoming more confident to be congruent with the pheros means women are wanting to hold that eye contact. But what are they expecting to happen? For me to smile and go up to them and talk to them, try and get their number? I am going to try and make myself smile at them to see if they smile back.

7

Yeah I feel the same. I think I’ll have to force myself to smile at times. Lol

8

Yes, just simply smile back at them or even flash that first smile & watch her smile at you, then really what she expects is for you to be THAT GUY…the one who is confident enough to approach her, still smiling, very non-threatening, and simply open your mouth with a cheery greeting “Hey how are you today?” & your warmth & confidence will be greeted with a return volley of convo & before you know it you’re just having a normal convo with another normal human being who happens to be lovely & most likely quite lonely & shy as well!

Who knows where it will lead to but whatever you do just go out & have a look around, have fun being confident w/your mones & congruency & open some doors! :cool: Best wishes adonis :wink:

9

if you have trouble with eye contact, practice in a mirror

instead of standing straight-on, stand between slightly-off center and a 45 degree angle, and turn your head. also try to get your back towards the wall, counter-top, etc. Lean back against the wall. Keep an open posture - no crossed arms, keep your drink down to your side hip - nothing out in front of you protective. If you need to fidget, put your hands behind your back and rub your wrist with the other hand. this makes it seem like she’s the one approaching and pulling for your attention, which makes you seem more attractive and less confrontational. Refrain from any negative / frowny faces, no surprised looks… just pleasant calm smiles. Even if she goes negative, you stay positive and relaxed vibe. When you gesture, allow your gestures to touch her arm or occasionally her belly, as a punctuation. You can even give her little pushes when teasing her a bit, particularly she has you with your back to the wall, she may close back in on you further if you lean back. Ultimately it is these small pushes and pulls that you will be escalating long-run.

first get eye contact. then start talking. then do an arm touch above elbow, then move upwards to shoulder, touch or hold when something is funny or pressing a point always making a nice relaxed smile at the same time. Keep talking pleasantly, and respond to her questions or comments as quickly as possible even if you don’t actually answer the question. People are surprisingly bad at realizing you never answered a question, so long as you respond very rapidly and smoothly about a topic.
it’s better to circle around someone and get their eye contact first, then talk, rather than just call their name and make them turn. It shows social awareness.

She is the weaker one, she must look away first, then look back at you. If she’s really taken in by you, she may not look away at all. This is a window of opportunity to progress and establish mirroring. Any looking or touching on her part must be positively reinforced. If you like her attention, you keep looking to reward her. If you don’t like something about her, look away since you are in disagreement. The appropriate time to look away is when you disagree on something, like her behavior, or opinions, or looks. You look back at her to give her more chances to past your tests - yes, you screen the women! The ones that pass muster you reward with your attention. No matter how far you go with her, you are willing to walk away when her behavior is not praiseworthy. But stay positive towards her, just tell her what you do and don’t like.

follow progression from the arm hold to holding the upper, than lower back, leading by the waist, then holding hands. At this point you can lead the woman in traditional dance routines, and mirror.
offering is always more attractive than being pushy.
sit down at a table and suggest she sit down with you (90 degree angle is best)
say you are planning to go somewhere, or do something, and would she should go with you, or meet up with you. “You should do …”

So for ex. offer your hand, facing upright, she may decide to place her hand in yours. Try this at a wedding for ex. offering the ladies your hand, say “I would like to show you around”, “come dance with me”. Make statements, show direction and planning. Eye contact, then talk, take the hand, step forward and take her waist, lead about, if she has good mirroring and positive energy, you can test leaning in, see if she does too. If you want to keep progressing, you need to establish an overall trend of mirroring even if some of the direction of the conversation, and some of the movements are not what you would choose. But the man should be more firm than her in the direction he’s leading, and she will soften.

10

Personally I fall into the “Don’t touch anyone unless you know you can get away with it” crowd. Having been friends with crazy awesome hippy lesbians most of my way through college, I am somewhat ingrained into that habit. That being said, it’s a great game of poker. To figure out how to successfully navigate the maze of interactions.

I find it funny that a lot of folks aren’t really sure what to do with a hit once they get it. Panicking hasn’t ever helped anyone, ever in the history of the earth. (Okay maybe one or two.) As I kinda got comfy with talking to extremely, unbelievably, “Oh-my-god-I-don’t-know-why-you-are-talking-to-me”, attractive women. THE SECRET IS SMILE CUTELY. Sometimes remembering to flirt back is hard. Especially when you just walked out of work having finished a BS shift. She doesn’t know that. You shouldn’t remember it.

Seriously though, sit in the mirror and look at your gorgeous self until you find your “game face”, and practice that sucker until you can find it without looking. In acting we do this crap all the time. And trust me faking it is just as good as thew real thing. Happily there are free places like Tinychat to try this for free, with little to no dedication to get dressed from the waist down, much less worry about social rejection. Just practice being charming. The mones will help, but you still have to reel’em in.

-Wolfe

11

Nicely put.. +1

…the Wolfe of phero street. :wink:

12

I find it easy to smile at people like friends and women I’m not attracted to, even strangers but as soon as I see a beautiful woman who clearly has men chasing her all the time and probably alot of guys smiling at her, I find it difficult to smile. Even if the girl is average looking and I’m attracted to her, it’s like I don’t know how to smile at them and like she will think oh no not yet another guy who is showing interest in a really obvious way.

I can smile in a friendly way at people, that’s easy but what do you mean smile cutely? Is it meant to be a smile with teeth showing? A smile that says you find them attractive or would a friendly smile like I give anyone still have the same effect? I’m going to start giving them a smile like I would give anyone because that’s got to be better than just looking away or just holding eye contact until they look away.

It’s clear they’re looking for some kind of response when they’re looking at me for four or more seconds after I have noticed them looking at me. I have to admit, when it’s a really beautiful woman or a woman who I would never expect to be attracted to me is looking at me, it throws me and instead of smiling I’m looking at them thinking really? I have to start smiling at these women :slight_smile:

13

“I find it easy to smile at people like friends and women I’m not attracted to, even strangers but as soon as I see a beautiful woman who clearly has men chasing her all the time and probably alot of guys smiling at her, I find it difficult to smile. Even if the girl is average looking and I’m attracted to her, it’s like I don’t know how to smile at them and like she will think oh no not yet another guy who is showing interest in a really obvious way.”

What if a majority of guys thought exactly as you do & fail to smile at the pretty or attractive girl? - Then your premise would be false, wouldn’t it? IME most guys fail to smile at or return a smile from a hot babe due to personal insecurities or not wanting to be just like everyone else…but dont we ALL want to be appreciated, even in some small way, including a smile? :wink: Personally I can’t get enough of them, regardless of who is flashing a smile my way! So why not add some sparkle to a pretty girl’s day? Maybe it’s just the thing that she needed & who knows where that could lead to for YOU? :stuck_out_tongue:

I make it a habit to smile at as many women as I can during a day & most of them are returned, average, below average, smoking hot babes, it’s all the same to me, it’s become a great habit & takes away the scaredy-cat aspect of smiling at a real looker, why worry about if she doesnt return the smile??:confused: Cos she prolly will!! :smiley:

14

Thanks Roy Dillon, I’m going to give this a try and smile at women all week and see what happens :slight_smile:

15

Good for you, that’s how a Champion approaches Life!:cool:
Let us know how your new commitment to Excellence works out for you, I’m personally excited for what I know is going to happen in your life :wink:

I already know what happens when I don’t make a cordial smile my default facial expression…NOTHING !

16

I was thinking the same thing, and I am so glad someone said it before I had to. xD

Username1234, what I mean is, a smile that extrudes confidence. The real secret isn’t inflecting your interest, but showing that there is something for her to be interested in. Not to get too figurative on you, but I think a good “playful” smile needs to exude a few things, it needs to have confidence, mystery and sex appeal.

The difference between myself in high school and myself today is confidence. Confidence doesn’t mean that you walk into a bar walk up to a girl and grab her ass be be all “YO BISH YOU MINE TONGIHT.” That’s called sexual assault. It ends badly. Confidence is being on one side of town, and knowing you can get to the other side of town, without dying or driving into the ocean. Confidence is power of knowledge.

BUT! The other half is mystery. When I meet someone, I make it a personal goal for someone to not know my last name for as long as possible. (Not cause I don’t like it, but because controlling information is how you are going to be able to garner interest.) How does a reformed weirdo pull in a college bar? By being the most interesting mothalover in there. Being interesting is like a building a resume, a lot of things sound great on it, out of context with a lot of gaps of unimportant details in between.

Rather than saying, “I work in customer service.” I would always say “I am a sales consultant.” Was I Sales Consultant? In function, yes. And thus “by-function” I am also a director, editor, audio engineer, writer, DJ, so on, so forth. Do I introduce myself as Nick Wolfe, Writer, Director, Audio Engineer, DJ?

No, neither does my smile. It introduces me as “Nick, The mysterious man who’s seen more of the world than you, who hasn’t seen enough of you.” Why? Because I have every story lined up, make conversation (That’s a whole other skill. We will get there.) I need to be unflappable in my presentation or I will be mauled by a vicious lady-tiger. (I go after the Black Widows of the world, you know, intelligent, gun-toting, MMA fighting, face kickers. Sketchy hunt, dangerous game, big rewards.) Once you have been verbally and/or physically abused for your fuck up, your game is kind of thrown for a bit. Thus, if you keep a level head, move naturally and keep the interest and charm levels high it’s hard not to eventually get it right. It just starts with that first interaction.

The once you have their attention, their smile. It’s like a dual between Jedi, mind tricks and smilelightning. You threw one, she threw one, now you have to catch it and do something with that interest before it “destroys” you.

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It’s now a battle of not losing that confidence. She could flip my story and blow my cover and ruin my night, but she’s not because fuck you I am yoda. I got this shit. I am going to say “Hey.” to her with that playful voice inflection, and fade into an interested smirk. CONFIDENCE WITHOUT COCKINESS.

Apparently there is a lot to be said from this scene, if you run into an interaction with too much confidence, she’ll force lighting your balls off and force push your eager ass into the garbage bin. Move to slow and you will take a hit to the knee and arm. Panic and lose your arm. Hope yoda comes to save your ass. Or take your time, walk in slow, and make them show their cards to you, then whip out a kids lightsaber and throw stuff around.

ANYWAYS BACK TO MY POINT! You can say a lot with a smile. CTTM wouldn’t ever have sold if we all mastered our smiles. I have spent a lot more time than usual looking this stuff over, but basically I say start with Tinychat, or another no-pressure webcam practice environment. If you aren’t at the point where you can make prolonged eye contract with yourself in the mirror, you should probably start there. (That’s where I started. Not being able to look at myself in the mirror.)

-The Wolfe of Phero Street (aww YEEEEEEEEEEE)