he has clearly indicated that he is interested in me. went out twice. never calls. i have to do all the pursuing. ended up dancing with all his friends, he never once tried to dance with me. however he was a gentleman the whole night and paid for all my drinks. what the hell? is he gay? he is christian so is he just trying to go against his closet gayness?
oh yeah i used Inst Sexiness. Worked on his friends but not on him, GAY!
I can sure see why you’d think so, and you may be right. My advice would be to stop pursuing; then maybe he’ll figure out exactly how interested he is.
I have to second Carrie’s advice. Stop chasing. If he’s worth it and deserves a great person like you then he will call. If he is so dense he doesn’t realise what he is missing out on, then he doesn’t deserve you anyway! 
Hugs
May
Some men need a long time to get to know women… there is a deeply ingrained misconception in our culture that men are all impulsive, hormone driven, and want to have sex by the second date… it isn’t true for a surprising percentage of men… or for those of us who have been through some pretty intense erotic life phases, and relationship phases, there is no big sense of urgency… or maybe any sense of urgency… many too many “helpful sources” of information as to how men think, men’s psychology, how to get a man, etc… are written by people who seem (to me, at least) to have only a thin, superficial idea of what men, or realtionships are all about… after the hormone surge of the 20s, many men really are looking for substance, depth, real quality, not just a fantasy turn on.
Sometimes if we men rush, women think we’re interested in only sex…
so some men probably just freeze as a result.. 
Some men just like to be pursued and not the pursuers. Try throwing on some cops and take his hand.
If he’s gay -he will let you know.
I like to get a signal that a woman likes me.. touching my arm for example.. but I’ll start touching her hand etc by the 2nd date usually unless I see she’s really not into it.
I really like being able to read what men think about the situations we women find ourselves in. I agree with Tacitus, some of the sources of information on how men think, and feel, are flawed. That was well put Tacitus.
thanks for all the replies, really appreciate it.
also i wear mx134 a lot so maybe i act a bit stand offish. ordered tah arrived today
i like to be pretty direct with my men so i asked him whats up. he said he was probably not my type, and that i wanted someone who would ‘lavish me with attention’ which he couldn’t. what the hell? all i ask for is some sort of acknowledgement that i exist. then he proceeded to mock me and tell me that i was blind because i thought we were compatible. and then he said i was pretty dense because the ‘dating world’ is all about getting to know people, not to look for potential marriage material. you should have seen the look on my face. i got fed up and asked him whether he wanted sex, and he laughed and walked away. wtf? was he negging me? he did pass a lot of very horrible comments the first (night) we hit the town but i brushed it off, thinking it was alcohol.
i am seething angry now because it was not my idea to go out in the first place. now he is acting as if he is the reluctant party being pursued. arghh. he freaking confuses me. he also told me that he has only asked 3 girls to go out in his entirety of 27 years of existence, not that he’s ugly or anything but because he’s extremely choosy. plus his friends told me i had to be special because he seldom brings girls out. the only thing he is passionate about is… soccer. the rest takes a backseat.
now, i think he’s GAY or just stupid.
angry as hell.
i think it’s high time to move on.
I vote stupid.
for the record, all you budding PUA’s, negging does NOT WORK unless the woman you’re with has major psychological problems. i understand it is to get the woman into bed but… seriously. just makes me want to punch the guy in the face with a right hook. i have been insulted on my
wonderful. just wonderful.
all jackasses out there, don’t even bother asking me out. i have no time for idiots.
Have to agree on the negging. Unless done playfully, and very obviously in a playful, funny, teasing way - not a good one on girls who are a bit shy or possibly have low self-esteem.
And a lot of women, including a lot of very beautiful and sexy women, have a low view of themselves. Much as I can see some stuff in the game that might work (yes, even on me although I know apparently women are supposed to think none of it would work on them - which is also not correct in all cases) , unless done with humour - and even then - negging really can backfire a lot of the time.
However, if you can make a woman laugh…
May
Well … he was right about one thing, anyway. He’s definitely not your type!
I wouldn’t even waste time being angry over it. He sounds like way too much bother.
Well Miss Moon methinks you dodged a bullet. You should thank the stars you found out how twisted and narcissistic he is sooner rather than later. He probably tugs his willie while looking in the mirror! Once you become emotionally entangled it’s difficult to disengage even from a sick puppy. You fool yourself into thinking they’ll change or you can save them. Believe I know as I dated a hot but totally mental psycho woman for months and am still licking my wounds and looking over my shoulder a year later…
Or scared sh**less.
Sweety dont be upset. He’s just an ass wipe and believe me you will meet alot of them in your life.
I dont think negging is not that great of a idea either. If a stranger came up to me and even playfully insulted me I would probably tell him to go blow. Well now that I think of it I have LOL. Prehaps it could work on someone you know and are interested in but it does have to be done in a teasing manner. This guy defiantly wasnt being playful he was being a A-hole.
Well its his lose fullmoon. At least he could have politely told you he wasnt interested. Obvisiouly the man has issues.
Tisha
Wow, you wasted some good mones on that one!
He may not be gay, but he sure as hell got some issues. Don’t waste your time on him. Looks like he’s very judgmental and dismissive. He’ll never be happy and he’ll never make you happy. Take it from someone who used to be like him.
Gem
Negging works mostly on women with low self-esteem. Even when not done in a playful manner, I’ve seen it work. At the end of the day though, its no way to start a meaningful relationship. It’ll only create a sick, destructive one. If a guy’s only looking for sex, its an option for him. But it still makes him kind of an asshole.
What would I do without you guys… LOL.
I feel so much better now.
And yes, there are lots more ‘interested’ parties, so no big loss for me. Don’t you love pheromones?
He is most likely NOT gay (by the way, this assumption is ridiculous as statistically 10% of the population qualify under LGBT - and it seems like everywhere you go somebody is assuming another person is gay based on their behavior that is completely irrelevant to orientation ala this case), but is uncomfortable with intimacy as he either a) has been rejected in the past, b) his belief set interferes by signaling, “If I get too close, I will put myself in a tempting situation,” which IS a big deal to religiously centered folk c) has an underlying secret that prevents him from wanting to get intimate that isn’t sexually centered d) knows that he really wants sex, but doubts it will ever materialize e) really just isn’t into you - perhaps he was at first, but soon later realized that it just wasn’t a consistent attraction f) he has an inferiority complex in which he doesn’t feel deservant of intimacy g) peer pressure, possibly others telling him that you two aren’t compatible… and, I could go on, and on, and on.
Is this all you ladies presume when a man isn’t attracted to you? That he’s gay? Is it just me or are you negging this guy? I have a feeling that there are two parts to this story like in every other situation.
As far as what you should do in this situation… let it go. There are plenty of other guys out there for you that match what you’re looking for. It is quite evident that you two are not compatible, and it has nothing to do with sexual orientation.