Guys, I just want to tell you all how much I appreciate your advice. All of it, including Warren’s “tough love” honesty really helps. It’s strange being a 35 year old man, but feeling like I’m 15 again. Parts of me still want to hide my emotions and just go on being the cocky, flirty, funny guy that I can be around people I’m not really attracted to, but at the end of the day, I realize how lonely that can be.
I’d sworn off relationships after the divorce. I’m sure you’ve all been there or in similar situations where things turned out bad. Be it a relationship, or a heavy night out drinking (“God, please, get me through this hangover, and I swear, I’ll never get drunk again!”). I figured that the rush and high of new love was not worth the pain of the eventual breakup. And therein lies one of my problems. It’s easy to be cynical and jaded, thinking that whatever happens to me that is good will ultimately end in tears.
Having invested so much in my marriage, and then being told I’m not wanted any more really screwed with my self-esteem. I’d try to trick myself into thinking that I deserved better as a way of making myself feel better, and even that backfired. I’d mentally go over all of my ex’s faults and then come to the conclusion, “Wow… if a person like that doesn’t want me, I must really be a steaming pile of shit!”.
These thought patterns are really hard to get out of, and I know this. Knowing it and executing it are two vastly different things. I was a bit apprehensive about posting the recording and transcript, but I’m glad I did. The purpose was served perfectly, and you all have given me much food for thought. I can’t thank you all enough.
-D4