When I meet a woman for the first time and I’m attracted one of the main things I watch for is how responsive she is to my touch and how often she touches me. More often than not, the women that are very open to shaking my hand, exchanging friendly hugs, accepting my hand on her shoulder, or touching my arm while talking etc are the ones I’m able to get numbers and dates with.
The ones that recoil slightly when I touch them, or remain neutral to my touch yet never initiate any physical contact on their own tend to be the ones that aren’t interested.
Now granted there are exceptions as with all things but I do believe that for their own good women should be aware of how some men might interpret things.
A hug between established friends, or friendly physical contact with an elderly person are dramatically different than a massage given to a member of the opposite sex that you’re attracted to. On a subconscious level we are always communicating our interests to others.
Okay heres the thing I could meet you and hug you or even shake your hand. The problem is afterwards. I can be the one offering the touch but if YOU touch ME I might slightly pull away. I feel that I have to make the approach. This make me feel more secure. I ALWAYS approach people first. I like to be seated where I can see people coming in the door. One of the problems I have with this guy is he is insanly ALPHA and HE like to greet people that come to the class first. I understand this as it IS his class. I just like to be in control of who I meet how and so forth no suprises. He brings out a side of me that is scary. I am a very submissive personailty but with him we have literaly went toe to toe. He is six feet I am all of 5 ft 4 inches. Our toes have touched and he is looking down at me and I am glaring up at him cause he can be pushy. BTW,I am shaking in my boots cause he makes me feel out of control. He acts like he ENJOYS argueing with me. Sometimes I want to slap the smirking grin off his face pin him to the floor and dare him to move. This is so NOT me!!!He brings me to this crazy place at least for me as it is so counter to how I really am.Crazy don’t ya think?
That’s what sexual desire looks like. Their pupils dilate and they get this intense stare that you can feel straight down to your crotch. Their nostrils flare out a little to. Seriously I am not kidding.
As you are not experienced it can be a little scary but exciting looking at the same time which is why you couldn’t sleep. Unfulfilled desire will do that to you. Men are not the only ones who get frustrated from lack of sex. Throwing food at him wont make that look go away. I dont think that look is what has you scared though. I think its more a fear of getting hurt. You mentioned he is involved with another person in class.
Your in trouble then LOL
I am very outgoing as well. I talk to everyone, I even hold old peoples hands and old horny guys occasionally cop a feel but those people are not in your “dating age range” so you can get away with hugging little kids and the elderly without it signaling sexual interest.
Men in your dating range interpret touch differently. There is casual touch like shaking their hand or short non intimate touches like patting someone on the back or on the forearm in a gesture of friendship and connection. Even a quick kiss on the check for casual friends you haven’t seen in a while or wont see again for a while. (not every time you see them)
Then there is touch that signals interest and sexual attraction. Massage that they are not specifically hiring a massage therapist to do is definitely intimate touch. Hugging, rubbing, lingering touches, playing with there hair all signal sexual interest.
Your touching women is different then your touching men. Women are more apt to hug and touch in a non sexual manner with each other and not get a sexual signal from it.
Touch is a very important way of communication but just like with words that each have there own meaning and context so does the way we touch people.
Your control issues and fear of surprises most likely are conditioned from something that occured in your life that you didnt like or made you feel a lack of control in your life.
Let me ask you this ? What is so scary about releasing control to someone else ? What bad thing do you think will happen if someone else is in control ?
I think your right and your fear of him is primarily from not feeling in control. I think you are sexually attracted to him and you sense he is sexually attracted to you at least subconsciously and that scares the crap out of you because to become intimate with someone and act on that desire you both have to give up control a little and trust. That’s intimacy. Giving someone else a piece of yourself.
Thats why your confronting him by going “toe to toe” to hold onto that control. Passion borders on agitated.
WOW Tisha you are Genius. For the 2 and a half years I have thought this guy couldnt stand me. I used to say the teacher can’t stand me. He would quitely come up to me and state thats not an accurate statement but he wouldnt tell me how he felt.I catch him looking at me all the time. He used to look down my shirt but would quickly look away if I caught him doing it. More recently he has LET me catch him doing this.Sometimes I feel he is making fun of me as he drinks at the same time I drink. Moves the same times and ways I do. Its like looking into a freaking mirror.I am not forward and the women he seems to like are VERY forward almost falling over forward vbg.Also they look like bean poles no curves where as I am an hourglass completly different shape.
I am scared to give up control to him because as I said I have never felt such a strong connection to ANY man. I KNOW he could really hurt me because of this.
