So I’m a 20 year old college junior. I have had very little luck with women in my life. I just got out of my first serious relationship, when my girlfriend of 3 months dumped me over the summer even though we agreed to keep it going until we came back to school. Anyways, she’s made it pretty obvious that she’s moved on to other guys. I want to move on to other girls.
However, my feelings for her still linger a lot. I still love her a lot, but I know for my own sake I need to move on. Anyways, I was hoping pheromones would help me in terms of meeting a new girl. Now, the thing is that I don’t like to party at all, I hate the whole drinking scene. I prefer going to movies, playing sports, going to the park, etc. I’d like to meet a girl with similar interests. My ex liked to party a lot and it did make me uncomfortable because I was usually never with her during those times.
So in terms of meeting a sweet and cute girl not to into the partying, where would the best places be to look and what pheromones would be most efficient? Also, another question, when me and my ex were together, we came very close to losing our virginity to each other, but sadly and embarrassingly I could not maintain an erection long enough for us to do it, mostly due to nerves. What’s the best way to overcome nerves when it comes to having sex?
Sorry to hear about you and your ex girlfriend. If it’s any consolation there will be other girls in your life and everyone gets a broken heart at some point. Keep your chin up and when you are not looking I guarantee someone will fall in love with your smile.
Places you could go to meet girls that you might like could be at tramping/trekking clubs, join a social sports club that have both male and females there. Church??? If you are that way inclined.
Don’t worry about the sex thing… I remember when I lost my virginity, I can tell you I was not rock hard and was wondering if I was doing it the right way etc. When you meet the right girl you won’t have to worry about this because she will be just as nervous about it as you have been. You’ll look after one another and things will just happen and you won’t even need think about what’s about to happen… you’ll be just enjoying the moment together. Take your time, it’s worth it. And it will happen when you lest expect it to, so don’t try and plan it.
If you wanted to try some mones. Perhaps try Instant Openness, Instant Honesty and Instant shine. I assume you have had a good look around here, as you have made 20 posts. I haven’t read any of them so don’t know anything about you apart from what you have said now. If you have some mones already, try the ones I have suggested just in day to day life without trying to get with anyone. Work on getting over your ex before you get with anyone else. This is important if you want your next relationship to work. Go out and have fun, do the thing you enjoy, the things you liked to do “before” you got together with your ex.
I feel your pain, let it happen, it is good for you at the moment. But don’t forget to more on yourself.
There are tons of girls you just described at your Junior College, but you’ll never know until you talk to them.
Social mones work great for the younger crowd IO ,IH, and Shine. IG might give you a little confidence boost along with little more respect from peers.
As far as your Ex is concerned, she’s the one that lost out. Remember your the prize and she lost it. Don’t be angry about the break up or it’ll grow like a cancer inside you.
One day in the future you’ll back at how you felt right now and laugh. Don’t stress the small stuff. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you.
Thanks for the kind words, especially you Alfa. It’s definitely been a very tough time in my life and I probably haven’t dealt with it the best way. But she was my first love and so there will always be a part of me that wonders what happened. I know that I should try and move on and have fun. So I’m going to give that a try no matter how empty I feel right now.
The sex thing was more embarrassing than anything. It made me feel like less of a man and now its something she can make fun of me about to her friends. She’s done her complete best to shut me out of her life, including ignoring me when I’ve seen here at school. I’ve realized she isn’t the person I thought she was, so hopefully my feelings for her will go away.
As for the pheros, I did try IH,IS, IO, and Ammo, but I only tried them at parties, so I think my natural discomfort and awkwardness of being at parties probably outweighed the pheros. Maybe if I use them in a more comfortable situation, they might be more effective.
Recently, my anger towards her for how she ended things and subsequently handled things has lessened, and now it is more jealousy at the fact that she moved on and also sadness when I think of the great memories we had. What is the best way to deal with that?
im sorry for being so blunt about it, but you were only together for 3 months. if ur going to act like this after a 3 month relationship, who knows wats gonna happen if u breakup with someone after a 6 month relationship. things happen in life. its not as big of a deal as ur making it out to be. suck it up, move on. again, sorry for being so blunt about it, but i feel like someone needed to bring u back to reality.
and it was ur first real relationship, so of course its gonna be tough, but trust me when i tell you that in a year from now ur gonna look back at this and realize how dumb it was to let some girl get to u this bad.
I’m kinda with Scotties123 here - 3 months isn’t very long to get that attached to someone.
You did mention this was your first more serious relationship, so you must understand that this is going to happen a LOT in life. I’ve been in long relationships and short relationships… and the only thing you can do is focus back on yourself and make yourself a better person and learn from it.
Just take some time for yourself, focus on the things you like to do, and try and be social and let things work themselves out for the best. When you’re not expecting it someone will come along that’ll really catch your interest.
I should clarify why after 3 months I was so attached. We lived on the same dorm floor so our rooms were literally 10 ft apart. I saw her everyday for at least an hour. We’d make out every day, we’d go out a few times every week, she’d stay over in my room some nights. We spent so much time together. We even ate meals in the cafeteria together. We saw each other way more than most couples ever do in 3 months. It wasn’t one of those relationships where we lived far apart and it was hard to see each other. All that time spent together meant we had a lot of great talks and memories. Hence, I really did love her even despite what seems like a short time and that’s why I’m so attached.
I can fully see why you would be so attached with so much direct contact on a daily basis.
Like I said though… take your time and re-focus back on yourself. Try to keep your time occupied with your hobbies and other interests, and have some fun. Before you know it you’ll be past the current feelings and be able to move onto something bigger and better.
Yeah I’ve definitely been trying to work out more and focus on sports and school. It’s been hard to stay motivated over time. I noticed that when I was in a relationship, it was the best I’d ever felt, because there was no more pressure on me to try and impress girls.