My attraction do's & don't's list

[Eldros]

@mark-in-dallas

I’ve been at a nightclub on a date with a girl and had some fucking asshole hit on my date with me standing right there.

The dude walked over and asked her to dance, which she refused. He then stood there and kept talking to her for a minute, and although I was getting irritated, I could not hear what he was saying to her. She brushed him off and he finally left.

After he walked away she told me that after he asked her to dance, he then tried to hit on her, and she told him that she was on a date with me. Then he asked her to meet him there another night.

I considered that extremely disrespectful and wanted to track him down and beat the shuit out of him, but restrained myself.

You and me both man. Only bad guys are cock-blockers. Friends. . . guide the cock - Superbad.

@Bella

Under the..ahem…circumstances…you can ask her anything ya want…jus not in front of the soon to be ex.
I dun wanna hear 'bout you getting your sexy a** kicked…mkay? Gawd you’re busy…lol
Oh…'n don’t forget to bring..er…“something” with you when ya go to “help her”.

I can take care of myself, trust me . Hearing the way she talks about him. . . I wonder why she stays with him. . . oh wait, it’s about security isn’t it? Or maybe that’s what northern girls do . And what’s that “something” I should bring?

[Bella]

@Eldros

I can take care of myself, trust me .

No doubt there. Still, no need to provoke a scene.

@Eldros

Hearing the way she talks about him. . . I wonder why she stays with him. . . oh wait, it’s about security isn’t it?

Security..what kind of security do we got here? The security of “having a boyfriend”?..or whadayamean? Hey look, it’s confusing when someone you love or think you love…one minute tells you he loves you and the next minute does/says whatever you’re eluding to…she doesn’t understand why she’s attracted to a guy who treats her badly. Maybe she thinks she can change him…who knows her reasoning. She’s very young, E. The major thing she doesn’t understand here is…it’s his work to do…not hers. You can’t fix someone else. You can only fix yourself. Hopefully she’s seeing the light and will ditch him. She needs more friends like you.

@Eldros

Or maybe that’s what northern girls do .

I don’t think this problem is geograpically isolated…and what does that mean?..northern girls…

@Eldros

And what’s that “something” I should bring?

Ah..if I have to tell ya that…you shouldn’t be going.

[Eldros]

@Bella

No doubt there. Still, no need to provoke a scene.

Security..what kind of security do we got here? The security of “having a boyfriend”?..or whadayamean? Hey look, it’s confusing when someone you love or think you love…one minute tells you he loves you and the next minute does/says whatever you’re eluding to…she doesn’t understand why she’s attracted to a guy who treats her badly. Maybe she thinks she can change him…who knows her reasoning. She’s very young, E. The major thing she doesn’t understand here is…it’s his work to do…not hers. You can’t fix someone else. You can only fix yourself. Hopefully she’s seeing the light and will ditch him. She needs more friends like you.

I don’t think this problem is geograpically isolated…and what does that mean?..northern girls…

Ah..if I have to tell ya that…you shouldn’t be going.

Yeah, security. . . and she’s kinda lacking in the friends department, I dunno why. I think it’s cause others think she’s ‘strange’ the same way normal people view us pheromone losers. . .

And she’s from Pennsylvania, up north in case you needed to know .

And I know this! It was in Austin Powers! I need to bring a gun don’t I! That wouldn’t work out to well cause her father is CIA XD.

[Phya]

Hey now! I dunno 'bout YOU, but I’M a phero-winner!

And Austin Powers is right, but the answer was Mojo. You needs to bring your MOJO!

[Bella]

@Eldros

Yeah, security. . . and she’s kinda lacking in the friends department, I dunno why. I think it’s cause others think she’s ‘strange’ the same way normal people view us pheromone losers. . .

Do you mean the security of simply being with someone because she’s different/quiet/shy/lonely?..all of the above? Am I on track here?

@Eldros

And she’s from Pennsylvania, up north in case you needed to know .

Definitely not geographic. Generally, girls from PA can kick yo a**.

@Eldros

And I know this! It was in Austin Powers! I need to bring a gun don’t I!*** That wouldn’t work out to well cause her father is CIA XD.***

@Phya

And Austin Powers is right, but the answer was Mojo. You needs to bring your MOJO!

MOJO! …but…you dun need no stinking gun…all you need is…the AMMO. And sumthin’ ta make sure it dun get away from ya…
And I hope you can pass a background check.

@Phya

Hey now! I dunno 'bout YOU, but I’M a phero-winner!

[Daedelus76]

@Eldros

Yeah, security. . . and she’s kinda lacking in the friends department, I dunno why. I think it’s cause others think she’s ‘strange’ the same way normal people view us pheromone losers. . .

Sounds like weak self-image or personal boundary issues, if she hangs out with somebody that treats her badly and yet she gets off on it or doesn’t know why she’s attracted… ?

I smell borderline personality, at least to some degree, possible another interpersonal personality disorder, too (I’m not a psychiatrist). Trust me, you want to be careful around that kind of woman. That’s not the cute crazy stuff. Those kinds of women can hurt you easily. Be their “friend” maybe? Tolerate their crap and fall in love? No thanks. I’ve been there. If you have weak self-esteem they will eat you alive.

Thanks to Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and Paris Hilton, these girls now have “role models” to look up to. Pretty disturbing stuff really.

Symptoms of BPD, you don’t have to display all of them to be “borderline”, just many of them:

• Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
• A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
• Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
• Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
• Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
• Chronic feelings of emptiness
• Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
• Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
  in addition, self-harm is very common in BPD, as well. Suicidal gestures, cutting, threats of suicide/self-harm, etc. Drug use is common, as is drinking. You may not spot any of those symptoms right away as many of these people can feign normality until they gain intimacy with you. They are aware of social boundaries often times, but they don’t actually “believe” in them on a personal level.

These people also tend to be emotionally clingy/vampiric and feed off the good intension of other people, especially love, and twist it around to hurt people, because they have little self-image- they treat everybody with as little care and concern as they show towards themselves. Typically they were abused or neglected as a child, or intensely belittled and not show love or affirmation, or the love that was shown to them was not “authentic” and unconditional, but was dependent on performance (BPD is incredibly common in actors, celebrities, or musicians, esp. teenage ones… Marilyn Monroe is a famous BPD). They are a psychological tornado, pure destruction without motivation, often wrapped up in a pretty package. Careers that many people with BPD take are strippers/exotic dancers, actors, singers, etc. If anything breaking social boundaries and getting “in your face” gets them off because they confuse attention with respect and love.

As far as personality disorders go, it is one of the most destructive, but also is treatable with medications and counselling. The best thing you can do is not to take anything they say about you personally, don’t let them push your buttons, and do not reward their exhibitionism with your attention or concern (but do call the police if they threaten self-harm or threaten others). Being a friend or romanticly attracted to somebody with BPD is very draining at best, and dangerous for yourself at worst.

I’ve had experience with at least one woman that fit that bill. Never again. At least I had enough psychological training to realize what she was and walk away from it, but it broke my heart and was embarassing. I cared about her but honestly I could not help her and she was putting a swath of destruction into my life and everybody I knew.

[Eldros]

@Daedelus76

Sounds like weak self-image or personal boundary issues, if she hangs out with somebody that treats her badly and yet she gets off on it or doesn’t know why she’s attracted… ?

I smell borderline personality, at least to some degree, possible another interpersonal personality disorder, too (I’m not a psychiatrist). Trust me, you want to be careful around that kind of woman. That’s not the cute crazy stuff. Those kinds of women can hurt you easily. Be their “friend” maybe? Tolerate their crap and fall in love? No thanks. I’ve been there. If you have weak self-esteem they will eat you alive.

Thanks to Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and Paris Hilton, these girls now have “role models” to look up to. Pretty disturbing stuff really.

Symptoms of BPD, you don’t have to display all of them to be “borderline”, just many of them:

• Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
• A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
• Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
• Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
• Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
• Chronic feelings of emptiness
• Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
• Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
  in addition, self-harm is very common in BPD, as well. Suicidal gestures, cutting, threats of suicide/self-harm, etc. Drug use is common, as is drinking. You may not spot any of those symptoms right away as many of these people can feign normality until they gain intimacy with you. They are aware of social boundaries often times, but they don’t actually “believe” in them on a personal level.

These people also tend to be emotionally clingy/vampiric and feed off the good intension of other people, especially love, and twist it around to hurt people, because they have little self-image- they treat everybody with as little care and concern as they show towards themselves. Typically they were abused or neglected as a child, or intensely belittled and not show love or affirmation, and eating disorders are also common. They are a psychological tornado, pure destruction without motivation, often wrapped up in a pretty package.

As far as personality disorders go, it is one of the most destructive, but also is treatable with medications and counselling. The best thing you can do is not to take anything they say about you personally, don’t let them push your buttons. Being a friend or romanticly attracted to somebody with BPD is very draining at best, and dangerous for yourself at worst.

Dude, chill. You act like you know me/her .
Anyways, yeah, got her number.

[Daedelus76]

@Eldros

Dude, chill. You act like you know me/her ..

That’s true… I don’t know her… which is why I qualified what I said (I’m not going to diagnose anybody over the net). Just be careful, though. Some people can look nice at first, but they “aren’t”. As my brother says, some people are “damaged goods” and you need to keep yourself safe first.

Anyways, if I freaked u out, I’m sorry. I have that effect on people sometimes.

[Eldros]

@Daedelus76

Anyways, if I freaked u out, I’m sorry. I have that effect on people sometimes.

I can take care of myself . You kinda remind me of myself when I was younger.

[Daedelus76]

Ouch

[msselva]

@Daedelus76

http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm316/changazn/crotchkick.gif

Ouch

LOL, I just fell down my chair laughing though I’m probably not supposed to! poor fella

[phernoob]

Good work Eldros. Now how about advice for us chicks… Damn, I can never get it right with men!

[ariadne]

@Daedelus76

I smell borderline personality, at least to some degree, possible another interpersonal personality disorder, too (I’m not a psychiatrist). Trust me, you want to be careful around that kind of woman. That’s not the cute crazy stuff. Those kinds of women can hurt you easily. Be their “friend” maybe? Tolerate their crap and fall in love? No thanks. I’ve been there. If you have weak self-esteem they will eat you alive.

Man, this is quite a charge to make based on what little he said about this girl. Needlessly harsh.

[Eldros]

@phernoob

Good work Eldros. Now how about advice for us chicks… Damn, I can never get it right with men!

You should know this! We are men, we like eye candy, we like it even better when we can touch the eye candy. In otherwords, dress like a skank . But if you’re after higher quality men, just reciprocate the advice I’ve given. Remember, things just weigh differently with men & women. For men, its 99% looks, 1% other (in general). For women, its like. . . I dunno, won’t pretend I do (in general).

[flaming]

…cant stand skanky looking woman yuk.Id never contemplate a relationship with a girl that presented like that…The skanky look says to a man “hmmm ons”

Dress with style adding something uniquely ‘you’ to the mix…now thats classy!

[Phya]

Personally, I find that the majority of girls from Europe that I’ve met or seen on my trips to Europe, dress very well. They know what to reveal, and what to hide, and what amounts to do it in.

It’s all about balance. Not skanky, but definitely thrilling, modest, but not prude.

[Eldros]

@Eldros

• Make her laugh (have I gotten this point across yet?). Tell her you like her ear rings for example. Maybe if you are sitting next to her you could put an arm around the chair or something. If she clearly does not want you… give up. You will be made fun of by every single girl if she doesn’t like you and dumps you in front of everyone. If you want to ask her out,do it in private, people spread rumors.
  (Hightail)

^true story?

[Eldros]

bumpity bump

I can’t believe how much of this stuff I’ve forgotten .

[iamstretchypanda]

Ha nice bump glad you did. Can’t rep you because i rep you too much apparently.

Can you rehost the file?

[flaming]

@Phya

Personally, I find that the majority of girls from Europe that I’ve met or seen on my trips to Europe, dress very well. They know what to reveal, and what to hide, and what amounts to do it in.

It’s all about balance. Not skanky, but definitely thrilling, modest, but not prude.

Yeah i wouldnt suggest a gal get around in one of those ‘modesty dresses’ lol