Hi Cookie, I’m not sure which culture and which country you might be from. This is what I’m familiar with and I hope this helps. If it offends you or I’m wrong please do tell me as I’m not sure it might be applicable to your situation,
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Buddies and Friends stick by a certain code, we try not to date our friend’s ex’s. Even if we do, we try to ask for their permission first. We do so to avoid the awkwardity and preserve the circles and our friendships. I would assume your ex and his circle are in their 30s, their friendships would have been forged till a level of tacit understanding and trust, so I would guess that it would be a little difficult for any of the guys to approach you. I’m not saying it can’t happen, its just that the possibilities of this happening is lower than you would expect.
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You would be surprised how much men gossip, as much if not some times more than women. We sit around with our whiskys and vodkas, smoking and complaining. We spill the low downs on our problems, we bitch, we yell, we take a swig of alcohol and curse at what our women have done to us. His friends might already have formed an impression of you. I’m not saying he’s definitely gone off and said stuff about you, but people tend to avoid other people when they’ve heard negative or potentially negative stuff, maybe it wasn’t him, maybe it was gossip, maybe it was hearsay. You could try and “change” what people might think, but it could be too much effort. Or you could try to start afresh, meet new people, pick up a new hobby or work at being good at your job, keep this circle and see how things go. Perhaps down the road as you’ve you’ve gained new friends, gotten a new hobby, seem very much confident and emotionally stable/positive, have a new set of skills etc. You might even have gotten a man in the process already. Your current circle might see you in a different light, people’s opinions and bias do change. And if you have a target in your current circle in mind, it wouldn’t hurt to come across as even more attractive.
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Men need to be real men and lots of men are wussies these days. I’d have to admit I’m one. A lot of guys would probably bash me here, but it probably wouldn’t be too bad to be a little forward or for the lady to take initiative sometimes. Quite a few of my buddies are dating girls/women who have been the ones to initiate. I myself am currently seeing a girl who was pretty forward after we met and took the effort to show me interest. Being open, forward or taking initiative is Culture Specific. Stroking a man’s hand on a date, leaning in and giving him a kiss on the cheek after he sends you home might get you shot in some middle east countries, it might scare off some guys in more conservative asian cultures but it’d probably get you a 2nd date elsewhere in the west. Find what works and what possibly do it. Guys sometimes read girls mags or try to dig around to find out how and when a female is interested in us. That’s why we have the list of “IOIs” if your man is worth his salt and is read up, he would happen to know. Play with your eyes, if you think your eyes have naturally dilated, look at him, be a little coy and shy, look away. Posture yourself towards him etc etc
ps. I would also like to add that to some, it is a thin line between coming across as “being easy” and being “open/forward”.
For someone in your thirties, try to be warm, bubbly probably won’t cut it, I guess a touch of elegance and eloquance. Guys like that. Sometimes we really dig a girl who looks hot in her dress, has that confident smile and sounds like she could kick our asses anytime, but we know underneath that exterior, she knows how to give her man a good time, anytime. Don’t try to be someone else, you already seem confident and good looking. Rather think of it as an extension of yourself, add a little more exuberance to that confidence, chat a little more, probably find a mone that has been reported to purport self effects that would make you a little more open and chatty. Add a little sexiness to that figure. A nicely cut dress, a little cleavage but not too much, something that shows you off. A confident hairstyle, make up that suits you.
I would like to add that guys unfortunately tend to be a little bit more on the visual side so it wouldn’t help to make yourself look better. But the most important thing is for you to really be confident. Not think that you’re confident. When you’re happy, emotionally healthy, you know you’re sexy, you feel you’re sexy, things’ll naturally fall in place.
I’ll always remember Tish telling me this "There is one thing you need to understand. Girls dont dress to impress men they dress to make themselves feel good or to compete with other girls. Sure we may ask you if we look good but its really not all about you"
If your TG knows how awesome you are, and that you’re interested and that no matter how he responds you know you’ll still be awesome and stay awesome, imagine how much more respect he’ll give you if he does then make his move and the both of you get into your relationship
