Phero-therapy session... with free cookies!

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Women's Journals
21

Okay, so my IH came in the mail today… with a little note that says I rock, yay!! :slight_smile: and I know I said I’d take the day off… but I just couldn’t help it this afternoon… so I did a mini test!

Used: 1 spray (plus the starter half spurt spray) of Instant Honesty 1x on my elbows

Environment: Right before meeting a private seller of a car I’ve been emailing about for a test drive

Self Effects: I love the neroli scent, but I did make sure to spray this one away from my face to avoid self influence. I also noticed I sneezed a few times, though.

Effects on Others: Innnterresstingg. I’m not sure if he was just this showy because he really wanted to sell his car, but this guy talked a LOT. I mentioned little things I noticed about the car, and he was very accommodating on getting them looked at and shared some family history stuff about his sisters colleges and such… and also asked my roommate and I a lot about ourselves as well. The most interesting thing was after the drive, he made sure to show me literally EVERY feature, in past test drives of other cars, the sellers kind of just let me browse it over… he opened every nook and cranny on the car for me… THEN my favorite… he shook my hand like 3 times? This was definitely strange and phero-influence!

My roommate later noted that the “car air freshener” was giving her a headache, as she had a bit of a head cold the past few days. I wonder if that was the IH.

I went to work about half an hour later, and didn’t notice much. My quiet male coworker did crack a very small joke early on.. but nothing major or out of the ordinary. I think it wore off rather quickly/didn’t have as big of an effect in a store vs. shut up in a car.

This one will be good to play with soon. I imagine it will help my word-conscious L get a bit more expressive. Tomorrow, I know I should test them out one by one, but I am still in the “I want to play!!” newbie stage… So My plan is to really reduce my EST, as I think I OD’d on Wednesday. I will stick to 4 drops, 3 on my left elbow/forearm, 1 on my right. Then, depending on the state of my cold sore… I will either do 3 sprays of Is/b, OR, 2 sprays Is/b, and 1 of p83, just to see what happens. If my face feels yucky, then I might not WANT the physical barrier broken, so we shall see there.

my EoW shipped today! I am excited! Now, I have to let the bank recover, but IS is catching my eye. I know an important part of a relationship is sexual spark… but I know the thing that got L and I together and wonderful was the happiness we always had. IS might help bring that to the front. And really…who doesn’t love someone that makes them happy!?

Also, I am most DEFINITELY in pms mode. Was super irritable, and have made a definite shift to the missing/longing for feelings of my break up vs. sad or mopey and hurt. I work in a supplement store, so normally I take an L-theanine and lemon balm blend around this time to soften that… should I stop this with mones? I am thinking it won’t be bad as I know how they work and the amount of effect that comes from them…

hmmm. Well. I am LOVING this testing, and it feels like I want to post and read at a speed way more than there is traffic here! I am getting way back into the archives of posts! Learning SO very much… :smiley::smiley:

22

Auuuugghhhhh

Well today was/is not a very good day. It’s 2pm, and I’ve been home in my bed since 11 because I simply gave up on the day.

I had morning practice, so I dragged myself out of bed super early… and forgot my usual preworkout pills and the l-theanine I had intended to take… IMMEDIATELY upon realizing this I knew it was going to be an awful day.

I have a horrible cold sore, and they just KILL my confidence. I can’t make eye contact with people… and I just want to hide. After practice I showered in the locker room, did my best to cover it, and applied my pheros.

**Date:**9/21/12

Products: 4 drops EST split on my elbows, 3 sprays Is/b, chest, hair and left arm, and 1 spray p83 on my left arm- Then a spray of Tahitian Orchid.

time: around 8:15am

Self Effects: I can still smell the Orchid and Neroli mix.. and I like it a lot. But other than the pleasant scent… I am very sure that PMS > Pheros today.

Effects on others/just a run through of my day… Was in a very awful mood because I didn’t take my morning pills as normal… but I showered, pulled it together, and went to get some coffee… I went up to the wrong register, and it was closed, and a friend in the one next to it made a comment… and I TOTALLY snapped at her… I feel horrible and I do want to apologize this afternoon when I see her. But so then I sat down and drank my coffee, and was verge of tears for a few minutes… Ran into a good friend, and he hugged me a LOT… held on for awhile.. but he is sort of just that kind of person.

From there I met L to go to class… he said he was driving? so I went with him. He was kind of flirty, actually. Very stubborn and didn’t want me helping him do things, wanted to do them himself. We talked and laughed as we have been in class… and then i got an email that my next class had been canceled. His mom came up today because he had a doctor’s appointment… so when I mentioned I had no class, he said “good, now you can come see my mom!” So after class we go to the car and drive up to see her… and I am getting his backpack out of his car to put in hers… and I ask if I should leave mine… And he was like “you’re coming with us?” And was not very nice sounding so I was like… oh… I guess I don’t have to… and there was just a lot of confusion… but I just left… He texted me after to say he was sorry he didn’t know I wanted to come… but…then… why did you ask me!?! It was just a very hurtful situation. I said, and I quote, You don’t deserve how good I am to you and you never have. He said “ouch…” in response. I told him that the truth hurts. He said he knows… and that is one of the points he made in why we should not be together. We argued a little bit… but nothing huge. Stopped ourselves pretty quickly, but I did tell him he had been very inconsiderate and that he doesn’t know how to care for someone else. That I think he takes me for granted, and that I am not afraid to fully walk away if he doesn’t appreciate me. He responded that he really does and blah blah and that he needs help now and I just kind of cut it short because it was going in circles.

I read a blog that had recently posted something: “You should date someone you care about” (You Should Date Someone Who Cares About You | Thought Catalog if you’re interested) So I sent that to him, and said "This is what I want. This is what you don’t know how to do.
i don’t know why… and i don’t know if its just me… and i don’t plan to wait to figure out if it is. But that is what you need to see if you have in you for anyone else… because I promise no one is going to do what I did for you again."

I know he’s got class that started right as I sent that, and that his mom is still here, so I don’t think he got to read it yet… but I think that sums it up pretty well for me. As all of this was happening I just said Fuck it to the rest of my classes and went home… Got into bed, and slept for a few hours. It’s now 2:27, and I can still smell the neroli/orchid combo that I really like on my chest. I have practice at 4:30, and he is stopping by to talk to the coach and watch today also… so I will see him.

I have no idea what to make of this situation, what was from pheros, what was from pms… what was a good thing to say… what was bad… or where we stand… and I am just… i am very sad about all this. What else is new.

23

WOO my EoW came today!!!

and eeeeeeew!
hahaha. It’s like I cut up some apple, and put it in a baggie with some brie… then left it in the sun for a few hours!

I just applied 3 drops- one to each forearm and one to my chest. I am letting it dry for a bit, then I will cover it with my orchid.

My friends and I are heading to the mall to pick up a few things, then I have work this evening… so we shall see!

Oh, and L update-- Saw each other yesterday afternoon, and talked and joked as friends no problem. GRRR. This situation is ANNOYING. We’re coming up on 1 month of being apart. I know it will probably take 2-3. Just… stay patient, and don’t settle or close myself off to anything else that may come my way. I will not miss something potentially wonderful because I was stuck waiting on this dumb situation… but at the same time… I really do think we will work it out. I am a naive 21 year old, but I think it is possible this relationship might be “the one” and it is worth letting this play out.

BUT I need to keep telling myself… if he does not figure out how to express that he loves me and make me feel appreciated in the way I deserve..then I DO NOT WANT HIM. I will not “settle.” I deserve to be loved. I think he does… but if not him, I know I will not be alone.

24

Does anyone read this? I kind of feel like I am rambling to no one…

Anyway today really sucks. I’ve got a big test tomorrow… in my class with L… and it should be our anniversary today. I am just feeling VERY lonely and longing and want very badly to talk to him and tell him to take it all back. He made plans of what we were going to do today over a month and a half ago and told me they were going to be a surprise. I am so sad that instead of that I am staying in bed trying to sleep as long as possible because being awake is sad.

I need to go up to campus to study for a long time today. I really would like L to come too, but I am a bit afraid to ask him. I am thinking I will apply EoW, P83, and some EST just in case, and to have another test day.

Maaannn I am feeling pretty down today. Wishing I had bought IS! Much much too broke, though, sadly. Soon enough I will. Until then…

25

Holy Moly that seems like a lot of EST. If memory serves me right, your EST is 2mg per ml. Now i’m not sure what 8 drops would be in mcg but it’s a lot. You might want to consider diluting it down with some perfumers alcohol, which you can get from Androtics.

You might want to check out this thread:

And this:

FYI - while EST is great for bonding and promotes concern for your well being, it can down right squash sexual desire in men especially in high doses! Bella provided me with some GREAT advice when I first started experimenting with EST and you can find it in my journal here:

Enjoying your journal… keep experimenting!

26

Oh wow, thanks for this! I have not been having great results from things, so I think I am going to scrub down tonight, and just start my one drop testing.

I am concerned about changing my smell too often and confusing L? He has had 2 and a halfish exposures… do you think he will soon begin to take note of the change?

I’d like to find the sweet spot of an EST and EoW combination. From there I will play with p83 and IH, but not for awhile.

L and I have had a pretty tumultuous few days, and have decided we really want to just stop stressing each other out. We know we will not be getting back together any time soon if we are going to at all. He said “awhile” and I have no idea what that means… so I think I just need to take it as we are not… and start to move on with my life and let us be “friends” in my mind…

But at the same time… I do still want him back eventually… so I want to keep up the phero-encouragement of sexual spark… because I think we are on the verge of figuring out the issues happening in his brain… Rheumatoid Arthritis is known to create brain fog and have a psychological effect…which is OFTEN sexual in nature. Hopefully a new medicine will help both with his knee, and to clear up the difficulties he’s been having mentally.

I will say this, though. I will not SETTLE for someone broken because I think they’re all I can get. I don’t necessarily mind if the sex is resolved or not… but the thing that needs to be resolved is caring about me. I want him to love me, and care about me more. That is what I want. I know that he doesn’t right now, and nothing I can do will force him. I don’t want to be with him unless he finds that. Oy.

Well, Tuesdays are my no mones day, but Wednesday I will start at the beginning! 1 drop EST and 1 drop EoW!

27

Actually I just had a thought and could use a bit of advice…

Would I do better to start with testing Instant Honesty, and save the flirtier mones for a bit later when L and I are on stable ground again?

I think I like that idea a lot…

Any idea how IH and P83 would fair together?

Should I start with just IH for a little while do you guys think?

28

I’ve enjoyed your posts and home made cookies!!! :slight_smile: Good stuff and am looking forward to a cake next time I’m around your corner of the forum. :wink:

If you haven’t done so, I suggest you call the number above to talk to someone about your order or check out this thread below… I hope you get you mones and start your testing!!!

1Alpha

https://pheromonetalk.com/t/please-do-not-use-the-forum-or-pms-for-customer-service/36299

.

29

Well now I am afraid I ruined everything.

he is “not happy with me” because I kind of checked up on him with some girls that are friends of a friend of mine, who he had met this weekend and was starting to be close to. I was afraid he was flirting with one of them and I was really stupid because it was our anniversary and i was hurting.Apparently the girls mentioned talking to me the next day… and he got mad. Which… i guess he should have. But it can also be looked at from a different angle… I met ONE of the girls that day, and had plans to meet the rest this coming weekend.. and THEY started the conversation, not me. I tried to keep it to our mutual friend at first, but of course L came up because I was jealous.

I don’t really know how to fix it. I definitely put my foot in my mouth here. When he said he was upset with me, I tried to explain but he said he didn’t want to deal with it right now and we would later when he had time. That was yesterday morning… I haven’t heard anything. I know I need to just let him breathe… and I need to honestly back off and stop feeling so obsessed. We had JUST talked about how we were feeling with things.. and he told me he was doing well, and “enjoying figuring things out on his own.”

I will see him tomorrow… and I am thinking I will just wear IH. I don’t want to come out and say that I did mean to check up on him cause I was jealous… but I do think I need to just not say much about it. Apologize for seeming like I was interfering… and promise not to do it again… and hope for the best.

Once someone breaks up with you… it takes a lot less for them to think you’re crazy than it ever did before… with our fight on Friday, and this… I really hope I haven’t done it already. MAN I wish I hadn’t done that. :frowning:

30

Just an update on the day today:

Date: 9/26/12

Used: 3 sprays IH - one to left forearm, one to hair, and one to my middle body

Self Effects: I don’t think there were any. Tried my best to keep it away from my face.

Effects on others: Well, this morning a friend of mine was very chatty, and opened up to me about some stress she’s feeling about next year… we have talked about the issue before… but she just launched right into it as soon as she saw me and kind of talked my ear off… so it wasn’t necessarily out of the ordinary that she talked to me about it… but the manner she did was most likely an effect.

I have ZERO idea if L was affected. He sat next to me as usual, and we chatted like nothing was wrong. He didn’t mention being upset with me at all. BUT also has not contacted me at all outside of class… so it is still possible he is. Still sticking to my guns, though, that the best way to NOT appear crazy is to just back the hell off for awhile.

My chemistry professor and I had our normal absurd amount of eye contact… but also had some side comment conversation that was a bit more than usual.

Did I mention T yet? He’s the guy from the party… I have felt attracted to him since we met last year but never acted on it because of L, and we run into each other a lot now… it’s usually a pretty friendly exchange, but has only recently turned for the flirtier. We giggled and chatted a bit today… I was sitting at a bench, and he stood right in front of me… it was an odd position, but i did get to look up at him and make great eye contact and yeah. He’s definitely a flirt. I Love L. Very very much. But getting attention from someone else, especially someone like T, and seeing that there are still other people I may be compatible with… feels very nice. It is very comforting.

I don’t know if I’d be able to handle T coming on to me as anything more than this flirtation just yet… but I will not turn it down as it is now.

I think after those 4 hours the effects were gone.. but a bit of neroli lingered.

Friday I’ll most likely apply the same 3 sprays of IH for a second round while I am with L. I am curious what an added spray of p83 might do to that mix… especially my teacher, and with T. I will try to hold my ground and stay with just IH… but depending on my mood may add.

Tomorrow I have double crew practice and only a few classes, so I will go sans-mones. Keeping my ground of not talking to L is difficult. I don’t feel HOPELESS or hurt so much as it is that I just miss him.

Also… feels like the forum’s been a bit quiet the past few days… Ah well. Rambling is useful for me, even if no one else really reads…

31

Love your journal, excited to hear about your results with EoW, I’m considering getting it and I’m really trying to do my research to make sure it’s worth it. Which mone is your favorite so far, the one you see most results with? I’ve heard nothing but great things about IS, I say go for it ASAP.
All the negative energy going on between you and L could use a little lighthearted pick me up.

32

This wasn’t directed at me… Tisha gave this advice to someone in a different thread… but I had to repost it because it applies so well and I don’t want to lose it.

Thank you again Tisha.

33

Date Friday 9/28/12

Used 5 sprays IH, between my shoulder (wore an off the shoulder shirt) and my hair/head

Self EffectsDeeeffinitely started feeling this a bit today while in class I had my head turned and was dozing into myself a bit. I had a moment where I almost looked up and asked L if we were okay right in the middle of class… then remembered I was wearing IH, and I didn’t.

I also noticed a bit later in the day I felt VERY confident and attractive…Kind of like I am “getting my groove back” if you will. Interesting that IH might make me feel this way… but potentially just a result of how nice people were and how loved I felt.

Effects on Others Everyone was SO NICE to me today. First, L, we were REALLY good today. I was detached a lot… he thought I was going to follow him when I ran into him this morning, then I just kept walking… He commented on it as soon as we got to class… and it just felt deeper and more connected today like we haven’t in awhile. I REALLY wanted to hold his hand in class… had to reign that in.

This girl I sort of knew that was never particularly nice to me was VERY warm and friendly when we ran into each other in the bathroom. So were friends and teammates all day. A girl that is normally very cliquey kept giggling with me.

Yeah, overall I had a good day. Lots of things made me genuinely happy for the first time since my heart break. I just watched that super sad episode of Grey’s anatomy, though, so now I feel sad again and miss L a lot… just reminiscent of the good things. But I am going to sleep so hopefully that will just pass.

I like IH a lot… and I think 5 sprays is really nice for me. What that I have would be good to combine it with? I think I am going to order IS now. L and I need that. Time is the only thing that will fix us… but we need to remember to keep making each other happy and not put stress on giving this space and time.

I also have EST, p83, IS/b and Eow… don’t know if it’s quite time yet to play with mixing any of those. Maybe Is/b? or EST? hmmm what to play with next!

But yeah. I had a LOT of hits today. Hooray for good days… man it has been awhile. I’ll probably be without mones until Monday… I’ll keep thinking on what I want to mix up this weekend.

34

Wow, that’s great to hear, B! :slight_smile:
So you got more of the close-bonded effect from IH than the ‘spill your guts’ effect? :stuck_out_tongue:

35

So I don’t think IS/b works for me.

Went out to dinner last night and wore just 4 sprays of it.
I didn’t notice anything at all. Usually I get more attention than that!

36

Hey I just saw this question- Definitely IH by far is my favorite. People just seem a lot more open when I have it on. I haven’t quite figured out how all the others work just yet, though!

37

Date: 10/1/12

Used: 4 sprays IH, 2 sprays p83 between my hair, top of head, and forearms

Self Effects I stayed away from my face so I didn’t notice much. I definitely had the urge to cuddle with L hardcore, but I don’t really know if that is out of the ordinary.

Effects on others Well first thing this morning, one of L’s friends that sits by us in class walked in, and usually when he comes in and it’s just the two of us, he doesn’t say much… but today, he started a small conversation.

L is back up and walking with no crutches (thank god…) so he came in on his own this morning. Things felt REALLY good with us. They are getting progressively better and better while we are in person, and we’ve had a few small message exchanges outside of class too… with no fighting or anything like that. Today I think I felt the p83 get to him in that he actually fell asleep right next to me, with our arms touching from the shoulder to elbow. I paced his breathing a little while I could feel it, and I think that helped too. What else is news, but I miss him VERY much, and every time we are together I just know that I really do love him.

My teacher made a ton of eye contact, as per usual… And a girl that is usually pretty snotty that sits near me in class started a conversation with me, and we got along decently well!

I didn’t see T at all today, and wasn’t on campus for a long time because I had a lot of things to do… but I like this combo! I will try 3 sprays of p83 on Wednesday and see what that does!

As far as just journaling to see my own progression… Today I do feel happy. Lucky. I picked up my new car, and saw my parents for the first time in awhile… so that was very nice. I know that I am so blessed and so loved that no matter what happens with L, I will be just fine… but even through that… I just feel like our lives are so perfectly matched, and our connection is so wonderful… that I really think we could work out.

I kept wistfully thinking of all the things I want in my future… not necessarily about L, but was just thinking of who I am and what makes me happy…I am so much the type that really loves being in a couple and loves loving someone. I need to trust that I will get there some day and not rush into it.

38

Wise words.

39

So… no pheros today… I skipped 90% of my day and stayed in bed. I was feeling really overwhelmed with my questioning and sadness about the situation. I couldn’t sleep at all last night… blegh. L and I are getting progressively better at talking without rehashing our situation and stressing each other out. I don’t know if I am making it up out of desperation or if its real… and its getting to me.

I just have to stay distracted. Keep things as they are… going well… and let life play out.

BAH.
Tomorrow I will do 4 sprays of IH, and 3 of p83.

…lets get hopeful.

40

Change of plans… was feeling like beiing sexy this morning so I added 3 drops of buttcheese (eow) hmm.. I feel confident? Been awhile there!

Will update at the end of the day!