Was browsing my myspace profile for the first time in a year or so and found some old blog posts I’d made. If you ever had a myspace you’ll probably remember these sappy chain mails finding their way to your in box or bulletins…well after the fourth or fifth…hundred, RAD decided to do a little editing. The posts are below with my totally RAD addendum’s in red.
All done out of humor so hopefully the ladies will take it as such and not be offended. 
…
inside a guys head
When you catch a girl
glancing at you,
she wants you to look
back and {{smile}} =)
Or, you have a stain on your shirt left over from lunch you sloppy bastard
When a girl bumps into your arm
while walking with you
she wants
you to hold her hand
Or, she really needs to learn how to balance herself in heels
When she wants a hug
she will just stand there
Either that or she’s about to be hit by a car and the headlights have her hypnotized
When you break a girls heart
she still feels it when
you run into each other 3 years later
And if you only make her mildly annoyed, YOU’LL still be feeling three years later because I promise you that no matter what it was she will NEVER just let it go
When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her
mind
And they’re all shoes
When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply
This is true, women either think, or argue…but any guy with experience will tell you that they can NEVER do both
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of
questions,
she is wondering how long you will be
around
or she’s wondering if she’s gonna wake up with an embarrassing itch tomorrow morning
When a girl answers, “I’m fine,” after a
few seconds,
she is {{NOT}} at all fine
But you should pretend that she is because it’s her own damn fault for expecting you to be a goddamned telepath
When a girl stares at you,
SHE IS WONDERING WHY YOU ARE PLAYING GAMES.
Or, she’s just hearing the sound of tweeting birds circling her head
When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers FOREVER
Or it’s better than the weird smell on your pillow cases…do some laundry dudes
When a girl says she can’t live
without you,
she has made up her mind that YOU are
her future
Or…it means “I am an emotional vacuum of need that will suck you of your will to live”…I advise running very fast
When a girl says, “I miss you,”
no one in this world can miss you more
than that
Not even the guy sleeping next to her while she’s saying that to you on the phone
When a girl is mean to you after a break-up
she wants you back, but shes
scared she’ll get hurt and knows
you’re gone forever
Noooo it means that she’s unreasonably pissed off that the breakup hasn’t left you devastated and suicidal because her ego requires that you be miserable without her, and if being broken up alone doesn’t make you miserable…dammit she’ll do everything she can to help you get there.
Two words, “Restraining Order”
…
Guy Facts:
When a guy calls you,
he wants to be with you
Even if only for a couple of hours
When a guy is quiet,
He’s listening to you.
Or staring at your tits
When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he’s wrong
Or he realizes that conceding to you is the best way to ensure he gets laid
When a guy says, "I’m fine.
" after a few
seconds he means it
Or we realize that you really don’t give a shit if we’re not fine so really there’s no point in talking about it
When a guy stares at you,
he wishes you would care about him and
wonders if you do
Or he wonders if you swallow, do it in da butt, and if you have any hot friends he can score a threeway with
When your laying your head on a guy’s
chest,
he has the world
and a lot of discomfort…the dudes fucking hot and you women bitch when we stink so give him some damn air
When a guy calls/texts/comments you everyday,
he is in love
unless he’s ugly of course…then you can call him a creepy stalker
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you,
he means it
So be sure that when a guy tells you he loves you that you make sure to ask him if he’s a “good” guy or not, that way you know if he means it or if he just wants to fuck you
When a guy says he can’t live without you,
he’s with you till your done
or he’s stealing his lines from really bad teen romance movies
When a guy says, “I miss you,”
he misses you more than you could have
ever missed him or anything else
Or it means all his other booty calls are busy right now
repost this in 10 minutes and your true
love will
call you…a loser
someone was on your mind as you read this
SEND this as
IF YOUR A GUY :: " .You’re probably laughing hard enough to piss yourself
inside a guys head
AND
IF YOUR A GIRL ::".You’ll never take me alive.
inside a girls head
…
How guys fall in love
Why guys fall in love with girls
(This was written by a guy)
Don’t break this; it’s so sweet! 
- They will always smell good even if it’s just shampoo.
Spoken like a man that’s never gone downtown
- The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.
…to make you wake up with your arm numb
- How cute they look when they sleep.
and how loudly they can actually snore…I swear it’s like a kitten with a lions roar
- The ease in which they fit into our arms.
for now (foreboding laugh)
- The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.
Just try not to think of the very real possibility that the mouth your kissing might have one day been around another guys cock…that means you’ve indirectly given a blowjob, enjoy
- How cute they are when they eat.
Yeah it’s cute now, but a few years down the line and number 4 will no longer be valid…the laugh makes sense now don’t it?
- The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.
yeah, hours to get dressed and we spend twice that much time trying to get them UNDRESSED.
Let’s just save time, cut the crap and get nekkid
- Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.
Always warm?!?!? you ever have a woman try to warm her icicle feet on you at night? Them bitches have NO internal thermostat
- The way they look good no matter what they wear.
and yet ask them just ONCE to dress like a catholic schoolgirl and they freak out
- The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she’s the most beautiful girl on this earth.
It’s called defining yourself by another persons validation and it’s a sign of insecurity…run, who knows what the fuck other mental issues she has
- How cute they are when they argue.
Try watching a football game when she wants to argue and tell me how cute it is
- The way her hand always finds yours.
up her skirt
- The way they smile.
when you’re spending money
- The way you feel when you see their name on your cell after you just had a big fight.
change your number, she could be a stalker
- The way she says “lets not fight anymore” - even though you know that an hour later…
you’ll be sleeping and she’ll have your dick in one hand and a kitchen knife in the other…sweet dreams fellas
- The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.
Yeah, just ask the guy she’s kissing.
- The way they kiss you when you say “I love you”.
or where they kiss you when you buy them jewelry
- Actually…Just the way they kiss you…
better include lots of tongue action
- The way they fall into your arms when they cry.
and believe me…they fall a lot, after the 4 or 5 hundreth time it stops being cute and it just makes you ill
- Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.
you’ve met a woman that apologizes? what’s her number?
- The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.
If they’re play boxing they don’t expect it to hurt, if they’re pissed they knee you in the balls and it does hurt.
- Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don’t admit it).
Actually I was kneed in the balls fairly recently and she NEVER apologized 
- The way they say “I miss you”.
It means they saw something expensive and nobody else will spend that kind of money on them
- The way you miss them.
That’s why target practice is a good thing
- The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn’t hurt her anymore…
Or change her so that you can actually go a full month without those irrational mood swings
- The way they get excited when you take them to eat sushi.
Yet ironically they get mad when you suggest inviting one of their girlfriends over…never could quite understand that one.
Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitably consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.
A feeling.
Only felt.
This chain started in 2002.
It is a love chain letter.
In an hour you are supposed to repost this.
If you do…nothing will fucking happen. If you don’t…well nothing will fucking happen.
. You said: “All done out of humor”