I need opinions and feedback… If a girl (who had a bf last you knew) wants to hang out every effing day, likes to jump at you and have you catch her, constantly compliments you about your music, initiates contact by grabbing your hand and holds it, sends you a pic of her in her bra, invites you to watch a meteor shower at four in the morning and goofs around with you in the water with her shirt off… What are you supposed to think? (Answer before reading the next little bit, thanks!)
Alright, now that you’ve answered the above… How about if, when you go in for the kiss, she hurriedly hugs you instead and doesn’t answer your calls or respond to your texts after that… Would it be your fault for reading her signals as anything but a romantic interest in you?
Borderline Personality Disorder ? Sending massively conflicted messages, consciously or unconsciously, and consistently sending inconsistent messages like that, is generally a good sign of deeper underlying problems… move on or go crazy with her.
idk her situation with her bf..but i can give u my .02
seems to me maybe shes having relationship issues…she doesnt wanna end it with this guy…has found u attractive and someone to talk to and have a good time around..she obviously thinks of you as more than just friends…just terrified to take the leap of faith and cheat on her bf…
if she no longer with him id say shes playin mind games to get over the end of the relationshipp…good luck man..hope if works
but no matter the situation shes def contemplating of wanting you in some way
It sounds like she wants the best of both worlds. She doesn’t wanna leave her boyfriend, but at the same time she’s trying to hold onto you if things go sour with her boy. I’ve known girls to do this in the past. She likes BOTH of you, but she must realize she has to pick between one or the other. Tell her to quit stringing you along.
Signs are all there for interest. I understand the temptation and everything else, but messing around like that in a less than platonic way with someone always sends out the wrong signals to me. I understand the initial attraction and the “testing of the waters” but if it continually becomes behavior that just doesn’t seem appropriate because of her relationship status, then that’s where I would draw the line. Its the respect that she should have for yourself and your own as well.
This should be talked about. In a mature relationship, friend or otherwise, things that that should be discussed and put on the table, so that there are no ambiguity when it comes to where you both stand on this. Remember that she is taken and that this is probably the line in the sand where she won’t cross. There is only one way to talk about it. Don’t apologize because it takes two, and just explain to her your true motives and see where it goes.
Damn. I already left a message on her phone to apologize. I really should have posted here before I did. This fucking sucks. I feel like I was being strung along. She probably realized it too. Maybe she even feels bad about it. I dunno.
Fresh out of a seven-year relationship, of course I’m going to make mistakes (and learn from them too.) If you haven’t been following along in my journal, it’s was complicated from the start.
I’m finding out I still have a ways to go before I wash that good guy persona out for good. Old habits die hard though.
As for distancing myself from her, I already had that planned. It makes the most sense.
Thanks everyone so far, and keep the feedback coming!
Whether we know it or not we’re all amateur psychics, continuously guessing what people are feeling and thinking. Over the course time, if you spend more time interacting with her, you’ll know ‘the real deal.’******
Here’s the good thing tho’. While you say have “good guy” habits, you established that you see this relationship as anything but friend zone in your eyes.
She could be playing you, or confused about her feelings, but you took a shot…now before she gets the chance to friend zone you in a response… make sure you friend zone her first. If she calls you back and you think she’s gonna utter those four ugly words.. LJBF’s, SAY IT FIRST!!!.
Because this accomplishes 2 things.
It keeps you in control of the friend zone and now you get the choice to decide if it goes further.
Yes, just ignore her and chalk it up. Though if you are maybe able to flirt with another girl around her, it could get her jealous. She may be thinking you are so into her, but if you show her you’re interested in another, she might think twice about you.
Try your best to make that merely emotional distancing (ie; don’t break off all contact completely). The best scenario is that you get calm and clear in your perception of her to the point where you can spend time with her in a platonic and friendly way without you being confused by your own feelings.
Her confusion/weirdness/issues/mind-games are not your responsibility, but your own reaction to them is.
