So I have been dating this girl for about five months now, everything has been going very well for the last 3 months and all of a sudden she wants to break up. From what I can tell it started last night because she texted me while I was driving and I did not respond for a little over 20 minutes. I know her period started last weekend and is still going on now.
My questions are;
Should I take this all to heart? Or is it just her hormones speaking?
What can I do to make her happy?
Honey, girls are crazy. I have an insider perspective, so I know how true it is.
First off, I have to ask if she gave you a reason. The words she says about her reason would give me the best idea of what she’s thinking. Chances are, this has probably been building for a while. Girls may do things that seem impulsive, but it usually appears impulsive because they’ve been hiding their inner thoughts and feelings for a while. Breaking up is NEVER all-of-a-sudden unless the dumper is unstable, or there’s a legitimate miscommunication, or infidelity.
Here’s what I can gather from what you’ve already said:
You suspect that it all started because you took 20 minutes to text her back. Initially, my “crazy girl” warning light is going on. For a girl to expect a guy to jump to attention the very second she snaps her fingers is selfish and controlling. If she took personal offense to a little bit of waiting, this shows me some strong signs of poor character. The only reason to expect immediate response would be if you two were talking about something super important. But if it’s really that important, then the conversation should really be happening over a phonecall, not text.
Does she usually go a little psycho during her period? What is she like the rest of the month? “Just hormones speaking” is usually not this catastrophic outside of pregnancy. If this is purely hormones, it sounds like she has a medical issue here.
Break-up talk is very serious. If she really is poor girlfriend material, perhaps you should take this as an easy exit and walk away from this one. But if this is a legitimate miscommunication, it would be worth probing into her reasons and the circumstances to try and unravel what the heck happened. Proceed with extreme caution.
Usually she is very calm and could care less how long I take to respond, she has appeared to be quite happy while we’re together for the last few months . I think the stress of figuring out her Christmas shopping is a factor, it is what we were talking about last night and is the example she used to say I don’t help her enough. One thing I did forget to mention is that when we first started dating she told me sometimes her periods do not come on a regular basis but she was sin a doctor for it, now that I think of it I do not think she had one last month.
Also to address you last point she has been an amazing girlfriend aside from this, which I why all this has bothered me so much. She has agreed that we aren’t going to end things just yet so I’m going to lay low until she’s back to normal before I do any sort of probing.
It sounds like you’ve unearthed the heart of the issue. Having periods that are irregular enough to be medically treated definitely means that hormones will be messed up. I think you are making the right decision to lay low until her body straightens out. Holiday stress certainly doesn’t help the matter. When she’s back to normal, it would probably be a good idea to get her to open up to you about whether she has had underlying feelings of you not “helping her enough”. Maybe she has had some minor irritations that she chose to ignore until Aunt Flow gave her hell.
Keep in mind, this medical issue could be one that doesn’t go away. There is a chance you might have to deal with her flying off the handle a couple of times a year for the duration of your relationship (if the relationship gets back on track). You might have to decide if that’s something you would be willing to keep dealing with.
That does make me feel better and I guess only time will tell but she is absolutely worth a few headaches a year. Thanks for the advice I’ll post an update once we figure this out.
Well I spend the whole weekend with her and everything seemed to have blown over, although we did talk about some minor things that have been bothering her. When I went to pick her up to go shopping Saturday I did throw on a shot of 2x ammo world edition and that definitely help, lol the whole time we were out she was complimenting me and saying that I looked different ( I don’t usually wear anything when I’m with her because I don’t what mones to effect her perception of me. I really only wear them for meeting new people and going to clubs/parties now.)
Thanks for the help dragon!
Fantastic! I’m so glad to hear the happy ending, this warms my heart!
I’ve done a lot of thinking about what to do with pheros in a LTR, and I think they still have their place. You are definitely right when you say that you want her to know you for YOU, and not have her ultimate perception of you altered due to the pheros. But for an occasional shine-up, they can certainly make a special date a little more special, or smooth over a difficult conversation, etc. I think you’re on the right track.
Glad to hear things have smoothed over! I’ll try to avoid any tmi here lol … I was on the depo shot for years when I switched off of it I was extremely irregular and that time of the month was hell emotionally if I skipped a month or more the next cycle felt like I was constantly on the verge of blowing up over nothing or crying. Its been almost two years and there are still cycles that are emotionally rough. So if she is having issues with hers being irregular to the point of seeing a doc as dragon said it could def. Have a lot to do with it. Being on that side of it I can tell you it is very hard to express whats wrong etc. Because honestly I didn’t even know what was wrong. I just wanted him to fix it (while knowing that wasnt possible). The only advice I can give you is try to be empathetic and dont hold it over her head if it is that itll just add guilt to her emotional overload. Every girl is different but hugs and cuddles helped for me. I have a feeling that calming feel good mones would have helped too if if have another episode I’ll update you if one helps
Best of luck and shes lucky to have someone understanding
She sounds like a catch! And she has a very nice boyfriend. Looking forward to hearing how this turns out!