I hope this helps you out.
I have definitely been in your situation before.
I have no problem approaching average or above average women.
In my experience in the last year. There were probably 101 women that I found to be extremely attractive, too attractive to approach.
I saw these women on the bus, on the street, in line at a bar. Sitting at a patio, bowling with friends, licking ice cream cones at the Dairy Queen etc etc etc…
I did not have the balls to approach or anything. These were all extremely beautiful women. The one hundred and one that got away. I wasn’t sad about it, just a little angry with myself for not acting. Not taking the risk.
As of right now, I don’t sweat the fact that I didn’t act then. All I think about now is moving forward. When I see the next one later today after work. I’ll smile a genuine smile and say “Hi. Aren’t you just loving this beautiful day?”
Beneath the many layers of shoulds and shouldn’ts that cover us ,there lies a constant, true self that is just waiting to be discovered. This journey is our personal excavation. And the tool in which we use to unearth is choice.
I hope its a lesson learned that you should just go say hi, make contact, say something, lets get coffee, whatever, and if she says no, at least you know.
I have a feeling you’re going to be riding the bus for a while though.
Dude, don’t contact her via facebook? did she give you her name at least? if not what were you planning on doing? going by age race and zip code until you find a profile with her pic? What would you tell her if you DID manage to find her?
I’m not trying to be mean and I hate to be the fly in the quacamole but I promise you dude if you track down her profile and message her she won’t be impressed or swooned, she’ll be scared or at the very least creeped out.
I say keep riding the bus, if it’s meant to be you’ll get another chance, but how big of a loss is it really if you never see her again? The only accomplishment she’s done that you know of was she picked the right parents to make sure she had good genes…the only real loss here isn’t that one got away, it’s that you didn’t act in the moment.
And even that can be excused…I’m sorry but your friend died just days ago, nobody would expect you to be in game mode. And forcing yourself to be happy DAYS after a loss like that isn’t controlling your emotions, it’s stifling them and that ain’t healthy.
I don’t know man, I don’t want to advice you to miss school in the hopes that MAYBE she’ll get on the bus again but it’s a lot better than sending her the message that you browsed through god knows how many profiles trying to find her.
It’s been 4 months already and I can tell you this is STILL the most attractive girl (my type) I’ve seen in my life. One other came close, but this one beats her out by just a bit. I still never got on that bus again at that time. I need to give it a try when it gets a bit warmer.
No offense man, but move on. Life is not just about how someone looks. All the while you are focusing on how someone looks your soul mate could be slipping by. You’re better than that.
Well, I’m just saying, in terms of physical attractiveness, she was the best. I’m not obsessed with her or anything. I still find other women attractive and have been with others since then.
although a spiritual, non verbal, connection may have existed which is why you feel this connection, you just have to let go for now m’man. IF there was such a connection she’ll be back whether you like it or not
Hey man, you definitely need to move on. If it’s meant to happen it will, but stressing out isn’t gonna make it happen. And finding her on facebook or putting up flyers will just creep her out, if you ever see her again just do your thing, but until that day, don’t even think about her.
I don’t mean this to sound harsh, but I just want to put things in perspective for you.
What the fuck do you mean, “you cant miss your bus stop”? Admittedly, I don’t know you or your situation, but honestly dude, that sounds like the weakest reason not to talk to a girl I’ve ever heard. Casanova once spent ALL DAY in a closet in a church for a WEEK, so he could hook up with the Duchess in the adjoining castle at night, but you can’t miss your bus stop?
You gotta take risks man, that’s the only way you’re gonna achieve anything. I know it’s easier said than done, but I also know that walking back to your stop or getting the next bus is easier than stressing over a girl four months after you missed your chance.
Boys boys… that’s for the concern, but when I made this thread, I JUST JUST got off the bus and I was still a bit hooked on her look. I have no feelings for her or anything. Everyone has their ‘type’ and that girl just fit mine very very nicely (mulatto, light tanned skin, that wavy long hair).
And I’m saying I’ve never seen another girl since her fit more into my ‘type’ than she did (which is possible, it’s only been 4 months). After that day, I honestly haven’t even thought about that girl until today when this thread got bumped up. I’m not obsessed or infatuated at all here, but I’m so grateful for all the concern. There aren’t many forums out there as respectful and polite as this one.
Sorry for bumping it, but there was another thread about a girl posting about a guy she saw on the bus, she described his smell and it really sounded like somebody wearing Ammo so I thought “hmmmmm”.
How can one girl be “the best”??? Trust me, I’m positive you will encounter many many MANY girls in the future who will totally blow away that girl. I also agree with previous posts that you have developed “oneitis”.
The important thing about “oneitis” is that it can be cured by realizing that the world is full of beautiful and amazing women that you CAN meet. The usual advice given to guys is to sleep with ten other women to develop an “abundance mentality” and realize that there other women out there that are just as great, if not better, than the one that wasn’t meant to be.
I’m gonna concur with the man here, it’s ok to have your preferences regarding looks, everyone does…women as well as men.
But like Steve said if you focus too much on how a womans looks fit within your ideal of what’s physical you miss out on a lot more…besides which you set yourself up for falling into the AFC trap. Ultimately when you get right down to it, the guys that are successful with women and the AFC’s are separated by one major habit. Too many men turn women into genetic celebrities. We buy them drinks for succeeding at the great accomplishment of choosing the right parents, they get full service at self serve gas stations for no extra charge (had a buddy who was notorious for that) and frankly if you do manage to score a date or even a relationship…you get so focused and blinded by her looks that you ignore or backwards rationalize very clear warning signs that she may be psychotic bitch on wheels…or at the very least not compatible with you.
Try this, when you have some free time sit and start writing a list of what you value in life (NOT INCLUDING WOMEN) your career ambitions, lifestyle morals and ethics, hobbies and interests, relationships with family and friends etc.
Now next to each one, write down ways that a woman that’s part of your life could either support you in these endeavors or at the very least be an enjoyable part of that aspect of your life.
From this you now have your screening questions…find ways to work them into conversations you have with attractive women. They’ll sense they’re being tested on something besides their looks and be impressed/flattered/attracted, and you’ll have a better shot of finding one that has more going for her than facial symmetry and a slim waistline.
You saw a pretty package but you didnt look inside. I know your over it masu but its a good lesson to learn and remember…
I was just chatting with someone on this subject. I have to join RAD as another fly in the quacamole. You saw a girl and she was very real but the girl your remembering is not. She only lives in your mind. She is a illusion of what you think your type is. She can not be your type until you open the package and look inside.
No girl can fit because even though you haven’t thought about her, her illusion… That image of perfection lives inside your subconscious and will compare every women to it.
Say “she was really hot” and “I found her extremely attractive” but dont say she is your type. Dont put a limit on what can make you happy and satisfied. I am not saying you dont deserve a hot girl. I am saying you deserve more then just a pretty package. You deserve whats inside.
Men often talk about the bitch shield women put up and how to get past it. Look inside the package guys !!!
Men often complain about women’s superficial ways or how after they hook up with them how they become moody emotional clingy etc etc. No they dont they were that way before you came along. You need to look inside the package guys !!!
My favorite quote from a movie
May as well play name that movie LOL ??? No cheating.
Pretty girls feel the same way you know. Sure its great when people find you visually attractive, I am not going to lie and say I dont enjoy compliments or when someone admires how I look but If thats all you see, if you never bother to open the package then you dont see me. You see just a pretty package.
Men feel the same way as well, when they are out trying to project that “alpha male” competing with the " big good looking buff guys" Wondering why certain guys get the girl and you dont. Dont you want them to see you because you are whats inside the package. You are the true gift.
Think about that next time you put a number on a package
