You are correct sir, but it is over simplifying the issue just a bit.
There are many people in this world who die never fully realising who they are and what they felt their purpose was on this planet. Since I’m a man, I can only take the man’s perspective on this. There is a reason a lot of men are lost and lack the confidence they need to be effective whether it’s with women, work, or life in general.
That reason is because of what I call the pussyfication of men over the last 4 decades. It has not become just okay to emasculate men, it has become the joke of the month. You can’t turn on the t.v. set without seeing a bumbling man having to be helped by his calm, cool, confident wife who comes in to save the day. This is occuring in commercials, music videos, sitcoms and movies.
My roommate is a very powerful woman in the poker industry. She’s been inducted into Women in Poker Hall of Fame. She supports women only events, where there are no men’s only events, and these women only events has become a source of contention in the poker community. This year especially at the World Series of Poker.
We sat down one day in the house for a long discusson on this and this is how I boiled it down:
To be a woman in this day and age, is like being a person of color, to proclaim your sex or color as something you are proud of is okay.
But to be a white man and say you’re proud of your sex and race is to be a sexist racist.
By law they can’t hold women only events, unless they are private events. A poker tournament that is open to the public has to be open to everyone and cannot discriminate based on race, sex, age, disability etc.
When a man does enter these events, and sometimes they have legitimate reasons for doing so. It was the only worthwhile event price wise that was open at the time, or quite possibly the only event going on that weekend in whatever locale they’re in.
High status women in the industry not my roommate, but other women who have been inducted into the Hall of Fame stand up and applaud and boo and hiss the men when they get knocked out. These are the same women who claim that they don’t want to play with men because of their bad behavior towards women.
You don’t see this behavior in open events towards women being knocked out.
My point, it is okay to emasculate men. We have been beaten down by society to feel guilty for the way women have been treated in the past, and some are continuing to be treated now. So we’re now a broken down version of what we once were. Afraid to be proud to be a man, afraid to be assertive. Don’t know whether or not to open a door for a woman or not for fear she may launch into a tirade about women’s equality etc.
This is not just my take coming from a man. I spend a lot of time working on my own masculinity and owning my masculinity. I read materials on this from both men and women. And if you ever listen to David D’s Dating guru series he has had women dating coach on their who have said pretty much what I have said here.
Allana Pratt, who is an amazing self-actualized woman, works with David Deida in her interview and elsewhere has apologized to men over and over about how women have treated them, and pushed them into this zone of confusion where we feel the woman must lead at all times. She gets to say yes to the date, she gets to say yes to sex, yes to marriage, yes to keeping the baby, yes to everything. So we’re always asking for permission and then when we don’t lead, they hate men for it.
There is a lot of social conditioning here in the US that has lead men to the situation they are in. Me though, I’m proud to be a man, I love being a man and I include such statements in my daily affirmations.
So while being congruent with whatever vibe you put out might be the answer. In other words “be yourself,” there are many layers to finding yourself, and that’s where a lot of men are.
You may have found yourself there already, but everyone is on their own path, and to steal a line from Wayne Dyer “I am in the right place at the right time.” And so are you, and so is he, and him.
