What are the chances your mother, herself, is sexually frustrated and harbors rape fantasies?
I think a little over the top 
Good humor is one thing, but I believe this borders disrespect to his mother, not the message we want to send.
No matter what!
Even if you KNOW they’re wrong.
Even in your own home.
Geez, Warren!
No one wants to hear or think about that of their mom. Even if it’s true.
Hold your hand out, and take your smacking like a man!
Buy your mother some Instant Sexiness, Scipio. Either she wears it and likes it, or she has to claim it doesn’t work. Either way she gives up the moral high ground.
If she refuses to try it, how can she criticize something she doesn’t understand?
I read the harboring rape fantasies and start loling.
Scipio, at the age of twenty, you are a man. If our current political leadership gets us in any deeper overseas, you may find that you are old enough to “fight and die for your country” whether you want to or not. If you run afoul of the law, you’ll find that being tried as an adult is the only option. Sign a contract and it is binding. You have the right to vote and the responsibilities of an adult. Living with your parents (or not voting) won’t change any of this.
M&M’s rule number one is macho bull$hit:
He admits as much with:
I don’t think getting cuffed on the evening news is the outcome anyone in your household should be looking for or glorifying, Scipio.
This rule#1 is the refuge of authoritarian males who think that raping the live-in nanny is their prerogative. It is not. It is akin to the Neurenburg defense that it was okay for the nazis to gas the jews because they were just following orders. Illegal orders are illegal orders whether they come from Hitler or from your mother. The difference is that instead of gassing jews you are being asked to kill your own masculine identity. Don’t.
Respect is something that is earned. And it needs to be mutual. Baseless respect for someone, who disrespects you, is degrading and disrespectful of yourself. A man without self-respect tends to lead a tragic existence. That is too high a price to pay for blithely honouring a parent’s bullying.
Your mother comes into your room uninvited, rifles through your drawers. That’s outrageous. When she finds something she doesn’t understand, she doesn’t ask you. She does her own hackneyed research and comes to a slanderous conclusion, unsupported by the facts and contrary to the intent of what she read. If my landlord did that I’d have him in jail – irregardless of who owns the roof over my head!
Okay, it’s your mother. So you cut her some slack. And you are living there rent free. But a man really needs his family, his household and his landlord to respect sane boundaries. And a pattern of ignoring boundaries needs to be confronted.
There are men who live successfully with their mother and/or father into middle age, and then there are those who realistically feel the need to leave when they are fourteen. If you decide to stay then your mother is eventually going to kick you out, or she is going to acquiesce. The latter would be sane and appropriate in this case. The alternative is to embark upon a life of being psychologically castrated by your mom, p.w.'ed by your girlfriends and henpecked by your wife.
Tisha is right:
And I think you understand that -
But to finesse this successfully it helps a lot to know where your mother is coming from. As Tacitus asks:
Unless, Scipio, you have a history of rape convictions that you have kept from us, this did not come from her observing your behavior. It does not come from any reasonable understanding of the Androtics website. It came from your mother’s head and nowhere else.
My overly concise interpretation -
seems to have upset some folks. I received this unsigned negrep:
I think you had a healthy reaction, Scipio:
Without a sense of humor, these things will drive you crazy!
M&M makes a fair point:
Of course, rape fantasies are extremely common in women. It is just an imaginary exaggeration of being swept off one’s feet and freed from responsibility. It does not mean that a woman actually wants to be raped or enjoys it if it happens. It corresponds to a man’s fantasy of rescuing a damsel in distress. Armed with only a spear and facing a giant fire-breathing dragon isn’t something we’d actually want in real life, any more than most of us would actually want to dodge 300 lb blitzing linebackers, crashing through our living room windows. But it’s not the rape fantasies, so much as, thinking of our parents as sexual beings, which is really disturbing.
As the parent of a couple of teenage sons, I can share with you that looking at your children as sexual creatures can get pretty creepy, too. Nothing stopped Scipio’s mom from crossing that line, though. Did it?
In fact, learning to see our parents as people is an important part of growing up. As children we think our parents are gods who can do anything. We’ve all met people, who, long into adulthood, continue to blame their parents for everything that is wrong in their own lives. Our parents were just people, flawed human beings like the rest of us. Those, who blame their parents for their own shortcomings, will not be perfect parents to their own children, either. Someone said that psychotherapy is the process of learning to forgive our parents…
Parents of today’s twenty year olds were twenty year olds themselves, once upon a time. In fact, many of them were teenagers during the heyday of the “sexual revolution”. Though we gloss over how stressful it was, we cannot help but remember being far more horny and attractive than we are anymore. This is especially true for middle aged women. We cannot help but envy the magic of youth. Some of us have cherished memories. Some of us have fantasies of what might have been, before we got wrinkled and tired. And some of us might even feel guilty about those fantasies – and project our own lustful fantasies onto others, perhaps others we would pretend not to envy.
If you build a realistic understanding of your mother’s human foibles, that should help support an effective, genuinely respectful, sympathetic and firm approach to confronting her misguided, intrusive actions and unfair accusations.
You don’t know me well enough to tag my thoughts with MACHO BS, Warren. Fact is, I don’t have a macho bone in me. It appears that our upbringing is different, and there are kids alllll over the world, that see it just as you do … you can tell by your nomination. Those that see it as I do, are normally older. There are those that curse at and in front of, beat on their parents, and tell them what they will and will not do. I, for one, do NOT believe in such acts.
As for respect … I give it, and I expect it, but it sounds like you didn’t know that part. I tell MY kids, IF they hear me use file language, they are allowed to, but if they don’t hear me use it, I don’t want to hear it. I won’t take a guess at what type or person you are, so it would be cool, if you didn’t, me. Trust me when I say, “You’re not that good, when it comes to ME.” 
You come in my house, you’re subject to my rules, too, Warren! 
Don’t like it, get out. SIMPLE and to the point.
Now, back to mones … I enjoy your work and findings. I’ll leave it at that. 
Scipio … you are a man. You have a choice … you can listen to Warren,and get kicked out of the house, and just be happy knowing you’re a man, and can vote, and can fight for you country.
OR!
You can play by your parents house rules, and do the best you can to keep the peace until you can get your own place.
MACHO MAN, out! 
P.S. In case you’re still guessing … I hate people looking through my stuff. I have my mom with me, and I also have a lock on my bedroom door! She’s a nosy little bugger!
Moderation and taking hard line stances in either direction in my opinion can be just as bad as not taking one.
You really have to break it down. Both M&M and Warren, even the rest of the gals and guys made good recommendations.
You do live in the house, there is a certain respect when it comes down to the parents that raised you. Financial support for upbringing is only one of the few things that children need in their self development. Since I don’t have kids or experience in that I will defer that to those who do.
What I can tell you, growing up in an environment where I had parents that were polar (One was conservative, one was progressive), I had the benefit of seeing both sides of the story.
It is always better to explain yourself and ask why your parents feel that way. I do know that it is sometimes hard to speak with parents that won’t hear anything else but what they believe but this has to be something that you work out with them on a consistent basis. It seems to me it’s just not the pheromone use that’s really agitating the issue, there just seems to be more issues that are underlying in your relationship with your parents. Whether it be them thinking badly of you because of prior actions, something that’s been said that resonated with your parents, or just their own beliefs growing up, you have to explain to them that you’re young and you’re learning, these aren’t meant to hurt anyone or manipulate. You can go on and on about the arguments and merits of use but I don’t think it’s going to matter much with her. Conventional logic might not even work when it comes down to that.
I believe pheromone use was a catalyst in exposing that problem or issue with what you have. You really should sit down with her and ask, hey out of curiosity, why did you search my drawer. Whatever she answers, say that you can only imagine what it’s like to be a mother and can’t fully appreciate what she has to go through raising kids, but that she also has to understand that at this point you haven’t done anything to break her trust, all you’re asking is your privacy be respected. You believe that you earned that right and ask her if there was something you did to not earn it. There is no power struggle here, this is about people who are in a family that love each other making amends and fixing what problem there might be. Chronic issues always have underlying problems with them that need to be address. I generalized on this post because, I don’t know your story, period. It could be something totally different but I hope you got the essence of what I was trying to point out.
In 100 years … none of this will matter!
NEXT!
Let me keep my advice short n sweet.
Don’t try to explain pheromones to anyone, especially your mother. Buy some A314 and start wearing it everyday. Not only will you reap the lifestyle improvements of an alpha male, but your mother will drop it.
A mother seeing her son become more of a man in front of her eyes…she won’t care WHAT you’re using.
Some real quality posts by a lot of you.
as mustang said. Its definitely not the mone usage that’s only the real underlying issue.
My family is basically split up between My mother and brother vs me. My father is about 50/50 when it comes to agreeing with a certain side. Sometimes he’s on mine other times my moms side. Just the way it is.
I could go into detail more so. But I’ve come to understand that since my mom grew up in the 60’s and 70’s in South America. While going to a private all girls catholic German school. Shes stuck in a certain way. Jesus did this, country should be run like this, parents can boss their kids around no matter what age (my grandparents treat their kids as they still dont know as much as them) its sad really.
But I understand it. I’ve lived on my own before (was awesome) and she was the one who asked me to move back home after kicking me out.
I’m sure her going through my drawers was more of an impulse after always hearing me open and close my top drawer before going out and receiving packages at 1030 in the morning.
This finding my pheromone has been awkward, a bit humorous (more than a bit), but I think I retaliated in a way that shows I deserve some more respect when it comes to my things in my room and that even though its my parents house and they have the right to go through whatever they want doesn’t mean they shouldn’t.
A buddy of mine suggested hiding dildos and gay porn everywhere in my room and recording my moms reaction. although that would have been amusing (HILARIOUS). I decided to treat this situation like it is. Not a big deal. I find it to be the equivalent of putting hair gel on before leaving the house or brushing my teeth.