The 37 Best Pickup Lines Ever.....Or Not!

Lounge
1

  1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day and night.

  2. Nice legs…what time do they open?

  3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

  4. You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

  5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

  6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.

  7. I’m a bird watcher and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?

  8. I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

  9. Want to play army? I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

  10. I wish you were one of those Mechanical Ponie in a mall , so I could ride you all day long for a couple of quarters.

  11. Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

  12. I’d really like to see how you look when I’m naked.

  13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

  14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

  15. Are those real?

  16. You must be the limp doctor because I’ve got a stiffy.

  17. I’d walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

  18. If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

  19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It’s not just going to suck itself.

  20. You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.

  21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

2
2. F@# me if I’m wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?

  1. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

  2. My name is Mark…remember that, you’ll be screaming it later.

  3. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

  4. Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

  5. My friend wants to know if YOU think I’M cute.

  6. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

  7. My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

  8. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

  9. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

  10. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don’t you like pizza?

  11. Baby, I’m an American Express lover…you shouldn’t go home without me.

  12. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

  13. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

  14. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

  15. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let’s get you out of those wet clothes.

Da Bella da Ball Journal
2

Haha this one is especially hilarious :smiley:

3

Crazy. But I love a guy silly enough to actually try one of these! Sigh!

4

Alright then. Hey phernoob, I’m a Scorpio but if I don’t get laid soon I gotta go back to being a Virgo, can you help me out? :wink: :roll_eyes:

5

I actually used one tonight with minimal success, to bad she was with a guy.

?Do you have a spare pair of pants I can borrow for a little bit?"
“Why?”
“Well I want to practice getting into them, so I don’t look like a bumbling idiot.” :smiley:

Hey it was fresh material and she laughed, nearly spitting up her beer.
I still came home alone

6

A lot of funny ones here, but 11 and 29 were the ones that made me literally “lol”

7

Hey Mark,

I loved this but then I like most of your post…and, if it’s okay to say, I like your style, you are very down to earth. I’ve been checking out some of ya posts lately and its easy to see why so many people like you…I repped you cause I needed the laugh tonight and this post did exactly that.
djacquelyn :slight_smile:

8

Pffft. Silly men. I’ve gotten the “Did it hurt?” line and the “Me and my friend are arguing and we want your opinion.” But the only line that has ever worked on me was, “Hi, I’m Tom.” Seriously, that is all you need say. (Unless, of course, your name isn’t Tom. In which case, I guess yer screwed. :roll_eyes: )

9

ROFL so hard that I wet my pants!

10

Hey nice shoes… wanna fuck?

my brother went and delivered straight faced to an absolute 10/10 at the club… she took a look at her shoes before giving him the nastiest scowl ever - best part of the story, her (also hot) friend thought it was absolutely hilarious and bought my bro a drink later that night (unfortunately, other than delivering bad pick-up lines with a straight face he is useless so it went no farther then that)

11

This one really made me laugh!

12

lol, hilarious! I like 21!

13

LOVE it!!! I’m using #8 on my hubby tonight. (And #12 on a guy at work I flirt with.)

14

Those were hilarious! I really liked 26, 28 and the last one… very funny. Actually, although in all seriousness trying to actually pick up a girl with these is pretty stupid, but saying them just for fun is really fun :slight_smile:

15

It all depends on the delivery.

Any of them can work… with the right timing.

sometimes a laugh is all you need…

I have scored with being direct more times then even I care to believe…

It violates the laws of something… but it does work if done right.

16

http://img360.imageshack.us/img360/2550/bargb6.jpg

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said, “Listen up, Buddy. I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean . . . It doesn’t matter to me. I’ve been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just love it.”

Eyes now wide with interest, he responded, “No kidding. I’m a lawyer, too. What firm are you with?”

17

I used number five as a neg once. She immediately sat next to me and said “no, no I want the drink” then gave me a cute little wink. Lol. Stupid or not cheesy pick up lines are fun for every one.

18

Have you ever fallen in love in 60 seconds?
(pause for response)

Have you got a minute? :smiley:

19

Mark, these are awesomely funny!

20

Are these from some weird PUA book? I’ve had guys try 12, 23, 25 & a version of 32 on me (it was popcorn, not pizza)…:confused:

Well, if any of you guys are thinking they seem like a laugh, let’s give 'em a go, here are my responses that I gave;

12…“Most likely I’d be pissing myself laughing”
23…I didn’t say anything, I just sighed and walked off…
25…“No, that’s ok…just keep walking”
32…“Andy, sit on this and rotate!” (I gave him the finger :roll_eyes:)