OK, Alpha_Wolf’s poll shows a clear preference for “The way he looks at you”. Good information from you ladies as always. My question is this.
The eyes often express the thought behind them. When you get that attractive look from a guy, what is it that you perceive he is thinking? Is it a curious look? A hungry look? What does that attractive look communicate to you? I’ve heard the phrase “puppy dog eyes” but as a dog owner I’ve never quite been able to figure out what that meant. I think putting it in the frame of the thought behind the eyes would be helpful.
I hope these questions are as welcome as your answers are appreciated.
Great question, Renny! Well, in the beginning I want him to look at me with playful curiosity and obvious interest. If there’s lust he needs to attempt to mask it. When the time is appropriate, however, all out lust in his eyes can be intoxicating.
The “I’m so taken with you” look is welcome providing the feelings are mutual.. or, at least, close.
Puppy dog eyes are a wide open, adoring, lovestruck, almost lovesick look. Puppy dog eyes are appealing/charming to some women in the right context/moment. Maybe some women/men think that’ssexy. Though I love it from actual puppys. From men?..notsomuch…personally doesn’t do much for me in the way of arousal. Sorry, puppy dog eyes lovers! I also think it signals, to the reciever…of said look, a power over said looker. Which can be good/bad depending which end you’re on/into. I like a sexy manly look, if that makes any sense, that signals he’s more wolf than puppy.
A sexy look that signals an underlying desire may get you somewhere…too hungry, it better be the right guy at the right time…and for the whole meal not just a snack, unless, of course, I’m in the mood for a quick bite!..or I’m headed in the opposite direction of the famished one.
Don’t know if this exactly answers your question, ren, but I did my best.
Oh I wish, Bella! These days he gives me so many different looks.. my goodness. But these arrived with the lovesick puppy ones. Oh well… still makes my heart swell. Maybe the lustful ones will come tonight… heh
To me, puppy dog eyes are all about him, not me. They say “I’m vulnerable and needy - whimper, whimper.” and "Look at me, aren’t I cute? I see that as a lack of confidence or immaturity, and that is the last thing I want to see from a man.
If he is looking at me with intensity, I would want him to be thinking I am completely desirable in every way and he will do anything to get to know more about me. If he knows me well, he will still want to know more because I fascinate him.
I dunno, Justonce, depends on the guy. Like if he’s a confident and wonderful man and does the puppy dog thing from time to time, I find it endearing. If his actions signify weakness, however, there’s no look he could possibly give me that would attract me.
I know many women feel as you do (hope I didn’t insult you - or anyone else), but what is it exactly that they are trying to say with that look? What does it say to you to make you find it endearing?
I think they’re trying to say, “I can’t believe I’ve found you. You’re so beautiful. I am the luckiest guy.” Stuff like that.
I’ve gotten this look a bunch of times from guys I wasn’t that into and, mostly, it’s just been annoying. I start planning my escape because he’s caught feelings and I’m just not there.
The only times I’ve found it beautiful is when I felt the same.. well, close. It takes me longer than most to really feel something. I find it endearing when he’s worthy of me. When I can look at that man and feel grateful that I inspire such feelings in him.
I KNEW I shoulda left out the puppy dog thing. J/K. Good answers bad question.
I’m looking for things along the lines of Sheba’s “I’m so taken with you”.
As a for instance, if a customer comes in to my store and goes right for the high end hip waders, my thoughts and the expression I project as I go to help them is gonna be “You obviously want good boots and I’m the guy that knows how good those are.” My smile will actually favor the right side of my face as my left brain starts conjuring every fact I know about the boots in case they have any question at all.
On the other hand, a customer who comes in and is looking over two or three unrelated items will get a smile skewed to the left side of my face as my right brain starts trying to figure out what it is they want. The specific thought changes my expression. In both instances I want to help the customer all I can, I want to make the sale, and I want to make them feel at ease so that they will come back again.
Now don’t worry about the left brain/right brain mumbo jumbo. What thought do you want to see in a guy’s eyes? Assume he’s confident, grown up and attractive. His eyes will talk to you. What can they say that will give you goosebumps?
“You are completely desirable in every way.”
“I will do anything to get to know more about you.”
“I know you well but still want to know more because I find you fascinating.”
You know Renny, in the beginning, the look I want is open and inviting. I want his gaze to say, “You are lovely. Tell me about you.” And then I want him to actually listen to the answer. I think that’s hot… in fact, that’s the reason I jumped my man on our second date. He was a damn good listener.
Some guys have a way of looking at you that makes you want to drop your pants. In my younger years, I always like the “I want you eyes. You’re so hot.” And then look away. The next time I see him, if he acts shy, I’d feel quite safe and curious about him. Like wait…did I misunderstand…hmmm.
Now, I’m into that awe your so beautiful stare, like he’s intoxicated by your pressence.
What I hate is the “I want to oogle at you because I’m a creep that has a staring problem and does this to everyone” stare.
Basically I want to look at him and feel that some how his existence is going to make me feel good about me somehow. Being too confident could make me feel that he won’t cherish me through the relationship. But a little shyness gives me a sense that he wants me too much to do something about it and perhaps will appreciate my initatives.
I’ll be the first to say this…I’m not very fond of overly confident guys.
For me, if guys are too confident I like to watch them fall once in a while to even out the playing field. Like not return his calls until he is in serious doubt about his charms. Part of the seduction process.
It’s like this if he feels good, you can’t make him feel THAT much better. If he is doubtful or feels bad you can definately make a difference. Therefore, he makes you feel important.
Hey Reny this is a great post Its great to hear what the girls have to say!
I must admit there are times when im guilty of ‘the puppy dog’ look ..then again i see it a lot in my gal too so its mutual.
…Its because im so grateful to have her in my life..I don’t know if i feel “needy” at all i just feel it as an overflow of happiness like Im touched by her.
Hmm perhaps its not so much a ‘puppy dog gaze’ as a ‘loving gaze’ i don’t know or care lol.In another moment im very comfortable with a lustful “i wanna take you now” look or a “im really curious about you and want to know more” or whatever…all at the appropriate time.
Not that this is my usual shtick with every girl iv known …I wont open up to a girl i feel is unworthy of it or who i cant trust at all.
That said i seriously doubt that a guy can put on ‘a sexy gaze’ with any authenticity.The main thing is being comfortable with and undistracted by feelings.In my opinion Thats Maturity!
Goosebumps? Hmm.
What I like to see in a guy’s eyes is something like, “I like you, but what if you don’t like me?” when they look down, embarrassed, after making eye contact. So cute! I’m a total sucker for the sweet, shy side of a guy. Puppy love is so adorable. Whaa, I wanna cuddle!
I also get a kick out of the “this is me being confident, because girls like confident guys” look (and swagger). I like when they try to impress, but are unintentionally obvious. It’s even better when they slip up or get flustered. Though I like when a guy expresses sexual interest, it’s so much more endearing when he likes you, and you don’t just feel like a piece of meat with eyes.
Maaan, I have one friend who’s bad with social norms, and will sometimes hold eye contact for waaaay too long, unspeaking. It seems like it’d be meaningful, but he’s just looking. He’s got an “I want you” look all the time, with everybody. Haha!
Yes there is THAT intense look - he is taken with me, finds me VERY attractive, and is very focused on me.
There is also that dear besotted look. I LOVE that look in a man’s eyes. That is the tender side of that wonderful lustful look, too. Hunger is allowed after he has taken the time to get to know me, or I will NOT be his meal tonight!
First Meeting: “Now, you’re interesting. What makes you tick?”
Dating and Relationship: “I’m going to make you mine.” alternated with “You are the only woman in the world.”
Light Flirting: “You’re trouble!” “You’re funny!”
If a guy wants to think sex, that’s cool, as long as he’s totally confident and direct about it and doesn’t look ashamed or embarrassed. The creepy icky guy a) goes after any woman who looks at him and does not differentiate, and b) has hangups about his thoughts and can’t hide them.
Puppy dog eyes means that on some level, I have him hooked. Pleading puppy dog eyes is only appropriate if a guy is tied down or is begging me to watch Star Wars or Caddyshack with him for the 53rd time.
BTW: Does this have to do w Dr. Dobransky’s “Get Your Send On?”
Busted! :o . In part anyway, “sending” was mentioned briefly in the DIG seminar I’m studying. After I saw it I started trying to think specific thoughts when a customer came into my store and then glance at the sunglasses mirror as I approached to see what my own expression was. Very enlightening! Anyway after I saw Alpha_Wolf’s poll I thought I would ask. Thanks to all of you for answering. The women on this forum are very sweet to put up with all the questions we guys ask.
I don’t know if you listen to NPR, but the Valentine’s Day edition of This American Life featured a segment all about the history of the look our eyes give to others when we are in the process of falling in love. You might find it interesting and quite informative.
For me, the compelling gaze has nothing to do with the thoughts of the gazer - it is not sexual, but transcendent, as though time has stopped between the two of us, and the world holds nothing but looking into the eternity in the other person’s eyes.
Maybe the lustful ones will come tonight… heh
He’s got an “I want you” look all the time, with everybody. Haha!