Ok I have a problem, I know this is not a “shrink” forum but I have nowhere else to ask… yes I’m that friendless!
Of coarse it has to do with a guy… a VERY hot guy! and I really like him but he’s giving me mixed signs! It’s very confusing!
Ok let me start from the begining.
I met him around two times before I spoke to him, for different reasons, but mainly because I’m a kind of reserved person and I’ve been told I’m cold when I first meet people.
Anyway, the third time i met him was the first time I spoke to him, and the main reason I did was because he had an iPhone! I was so psyched about it so I was asking all kinds of things and stuff. Then when I left he was talking about me to y mutual friend who told him and I quote “man, she likes you, it took one year for her to warm up to me and it took you a few day… she diggs you” anyway here is the deal.
I didn’t really like him at first i just liked his phone, but after that day he got my contact and he was communicating with me and he was so cute and sweat and stuff that I actually started liking him. So we were talking and getting along then all of a sudden out of no where he’s giving me the cold shoulder! What is that about? I spent forever trying to figure out what I did but I just don’t get it.
Then the other day, I was like “I thought you were mad at me, all of a sudden you stopped talking to me” then he says “No I’m not mad, so when are we going to watch our movie?” (did I mention he asked me over to watch a movie, that was at the time when he was actually talking to me)
My question: Is he playing hard to get? If so, what do I do? Should I play along, should I go to the movies? Should I just be honest with him and be like “I like you, you man… me woman… let’s do this!?” (with a little Marvin Gaye music in the background… who am I kidding, I’m too conservative for that… but how I wish I was more open!
One question that might have something to do with this forum… I recently bought MX153, Instant Honesty, and Instant Sexiness… an advice on how I should wear them on my “movie date” if I even go…
Well, I think you should switch the tables on him a little bit.
Dont play games,but there is always something you can do to create more of an attraction.Tease him a little bit,Tell him the only reason why he got an I phone was to impress you! And he pulled it out that night(the I phone),just so you could ask him questions about it and get your number.
And girls are the best at “playing hard to get” just do what you do naturally.
He should make that first move.
When you are around him…kinda pretend you dont like him that much.
Dont bring up anything too deep,just have fun!
Guys are like light switches…we are either “on” or “off”.
Girls are like volume knobs…the can be a 2,then a 5,then a 10,then a 3,then a 7,then a 1…You get the point.
Stop being at a 10 for no reason,make him get you there himself.
Prehaps and I have a feeling this is it, there was something bothering him that really had nothing to do with you at all and he didnt even realize that he was being cold. People not just men or women get pre-occupied with even small problems from day to day and some people deal with it by retreating into themselves. Girls tend to think its about them when its sometimes it just isnt.
My husband frequantly does it and when I first met him I would think the same thing as you. “what the hell did I do” after going back and forth this way once in a while I just came to realize its just his way of dealing with things. I will be supportive now but back off and give him room to deal with whatever and he will snap out of it in a few days.
The reason I bring up the above is because it happens with pheromone use as well. We blame every little mood or bad mood on them and sometimes it has nothing to do with them and we may end up throwing away a good product before we know its potential.
I wouldnt worry about it just yet. Keep doing what your doing and see if he is consistant with this behavior. Go to the movies, have a good time, be yourself, dont push him for to much to fast just keep showing those IOI’s. Its not a race its a journey.
As far as pheromones go just use 1 shot of Instant sexiness and 1 of Instant Honesty. You dont want to over do till a relationship is more established with him and you have a better understanding of his moods.
DO NOT play games with him or try to play his game (not that he is playing one) For one to play games and win you need to be good at them and I am not saying your not but it takes practice and you have said your conservative. Two, if you dont want him to play with your feelings then you shouldnt play with his. Just be honest without being pushy. No me women you man ect… He dosnt seem ready for that.
I like the advice you’ve had so far … especially the part about having fun, teasing, keeping things light - don’t go for the jugular just yet! You can let your interest and curiosity show, but avoid being overly intense about it.
As a married man,or a man in any relationship it is great to have a woman who knows when to back off and realize his problems are HIS problems.
We always snap out of it in a day or two.Just knowing this about men will take you far.
Anyway good luck!
p.s…Wait until he does something dirty,or says something REALLY funny…
Thanx you guys!
Ok so I should just be myself (even though I’m considered a conservative cold bitch… maybe I should just alter myself a little) and take things light.
Tisha you’re totally right, my last boyfriend was like that, when something was bothering him he would just shut down. Maybe it really has nothing to do with me.
Capaldi… hahah “spank him… trust me on this!!!” No but really I get what you’re saying. and Carrie seems to agree too.. I should try that.. not the spanking.. the being light.
Merci everyone!
I think I’ll post what happens with the IS and IH it’s going to be the first time i experiment with them on a “potential”.
I really wish you wouldn’t have written that. Too many young men think expensive phones impress women. They’re all too willing to sink a month’s wages into a trendy mobile device all in hopes of getting laid. Sorry this is OT but I couldn’t resist.
OT, it’s more common for young women to play “hard to get,” but some guys think it gives their target an impression of “higher value” if they spin their wheels. Or he could have just had other things on his mind.
Personally I prefer to be straight up with women and expect the same but, alas, many prefer hoop jumping and testing galore. Sounds too early for you to form solid conclusions about his intentions. Wade in and play it by ear. After a few dates you’ll figure it out.
gegogi: I didn’t mean I was ONLY interested in his phone. Just that that was the point of conversation. It’s not like I would go out with someone cause of a phone or anything material at that.
Anyway, msg taken.
Thanx again for all the input. I hope I get my pheros in time!
I knew you weren’t! It’s just that many young men aren’t exactly clear about that point. Nevertheless I showed my iPhone to a woman I met at Mai Tai last week. She got really excited and asked if she could enter her name and number in my phonebook. Now I wonder if she really likes me or just wants me for my phone. I fell so used…
hahaha I think she likes you man! I mean I would never give my number to y guy unless you want something from him…
Good one!
I think the iPhone is just a really good conversation starter.
Good luck with the lady!
Here he thinks you are interested, and is pondering the idea most likely. Lets assume he’s attracted to you, then he would have been down for getting together.
OOH! I’ve done that before. It sounds like you didn’t give him a large enough IOI. Maybe he tried to attract you and you acted contrary to your thoughts.
Did you ever contact him without him initiating conversation? Were you definate on plans and stuck with them? Did you cancel on him…perhaps the movie?
Any of these and many other unlisted reasons can cause a guy to give you the cold shoulder. Who wants to make all the effort, or be canceled on, or flirt with somebody who acts disinterested or takes to long figure out if they like you.
Why didn’t you ever go watch the movie? That responce sounds like he feels like he was blown off, and he’s giving you the benifit of the doubt for being busy or whatever. It sounds like he’s offering a second opportunity to show you are interested.
Make up your mind a commit to making plans with him, or don’t. If you realy like him, then you should spend time with him, and want to spend time with him. Make time to be with him. Otherwise, you are the one playing hard to get.
Wow! That was really helpful! I never looked at it like that, it kinda makes sense now. I mean it’s true that it was always him initiating the conversation. And as for the movies I told him I couldn’t until I finish my exams and then never got back to him on it, but that was because he started acting cold on me!
Anyway, THANX! I mean that was SO helpful! I think I’m going to save it, cause it’ll help me in the future!
I think I might just make a move, it’s true guys rarely say no and if they do most of the time it’s cause they’re gay or taken, and I know he’s neither so I might just pounce on him.
Merci!
wear the phero’s, make him gag for ya and give him the cold shoulder for a month… not completely ignore him but be didtant. I loose intrest to quick for it to work with em like but it kills my mates like. I’m a lad and feel a bit shit for helping the other side ha. Hope it all goes well. Have ya seen super bad??? amazing lol.x
Nothing worse than waiting for someone to call ha. Go on a date, tell him you will ring him. no kiss him at the and of the night, tell him you will ring him and wait two days or like a day and a half… at elast later than the time you left him the night before then say you’ve been busy, same with texting say oh sorry for the late reply, “i’m never in a rush to text back” thats a killer as well… the wait. do stuff like that for about 3 weeks ha ha, class… You could always do one of his mate ha. thats always a good one…
Now I’m even MORE confused!!!
I just finished my exams so I’ve been in my own world the past few days but anyway, when I landed it was like I had left for a year! I mean all of a sudden, he’s being really forward and to top it off so are two of his friends!!! I mean, WHAT?? Are they playing some game with me? Like do they have a bet going to see who can get me first or something? what is that about? so I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. One of his friends told me straight that he wanted to take me on a road trip and show me passion!! The other one called me up and asked me to go for a drink. And I always thought he had a girl friend so I wasn’t about to get mixed up in that so I asked him “don’t you have a girlfriend? I don’t think she would be happy about us going for a drink at 22h!” then he says “no it ended, I’m more into girls like you now” so I said “what does that mean” then he says “you know? Kinda conservative, sweet… bal bla bla!” Man I have no idea what is going on!!!
Then there is my iPhone guy on the side who is now saying we should see our movie!!.. hmm. I don’t know man, I’m totally confused.
I haven’t even received my Pheromones so I haven’t used any. And I can ASSURE all of you that I am NOT that hot!
Weird thing… when they are all together it’s like normal, we are all just talking and chilling but when they are alone it’s just a trip!
Any suggestions?
Marty…if you were a female, I’d stop talking to you entirely for playing silly games, and i’d probably be pretty pissed at you by the end of the first week.
You’re mates probably like it because they enjoy chasing more so than being with somebody. That’s not exactly a mature relationship.
From what i’ve seen, the best guys I know don’t play the game. They hate it and refuse. They don’t get as much action as some other guys I know, but they are better people. People you’d rather spend time with and are happy you know them at the end of the day.
Strategicly planning when to call and how long to wait in order to create suspense and toy with somebody is just wrong.
man! I just wrote like the longest reply to you guys and it didn’t get posted! what is that about? Cause I can honestly say, I can not re-write all that.
the basic situation is this.
Now he is being really forward about his intentions, but problem is his friends are too! and I don’t know if it’s a trick they are playing on me or if they all just want to see who can “de-flower” me first or what it is really?
When we are all together they are nice and chilled but separate, they are all running some borderline sleazy lines at me except my iPhone guy (that’s why I love geeks! they don’t do that “hey baby” crap)
I don’t get it, I really don’t.
footnote, I’m not THAT hot and I haven’t tried the pheromones cause I didn’t get them yet. It’s true that for some reason when my male friends find out I’m no longer taken then change but i think it’s just cause I’m already their friend so I guess they think “hmm… I wonder how it would be if…” but these guys are NOT my friends! Man I am confused as hell.
You don’t have to play games. Just be genuinely busy, and genuinely friendly and happy to see him when you have time. Don’t neglect your exams or anything of importance to you in order to be with him. If he suggests an activity you would enjoy, accept the invitation enthusiastically.
Here’s the key, absolute best seduction strategy for women I’ve ever come across, and I still can’t do it all the time: when you are not around him, put him completely out of your mind and think about other things. This is super hard to do, but it works like catnip. And it is the sure-fire way I’ve found to get a guy to call. Of course, if you aren’t serious about him, just jump him.
yes I’m that friendless!
anyway here is the deal.
who am I kidding, I’m too conservative for that… but how I wish I was more open! 
