Hi. 
I went out to my local watering hole last night to meet some friends for a little socializing and a few games of pool. I had a few sprays of shine, a few sprays of ammo, a few dabs of A-314 and of course about four spritzes of instant honesty [double strength].i like that stuff! 
Well anyway,it was pretty dead in there for a friday night. We were shooting pool for awhile when one friend took off to go someplace else. Another friend left about 20 minutes later for home. i got tired of shooting pool and left my friends and headed for the comfort of a barstool. Not much going on, so i decided to leave after i finish my drink and head home early. [about 11:30pm]. I paid my tab and i’m on my last swig of beer when the front door opens and in walks this alluring looking brunette with some rather nice curves. Suddenly i felt rather thirsty and figured one more beer might be in order.
She parked two stools down from me and ordered a drink. i was feeling pretty A-314 confident so i said to her " i would like to buy you that drink". She said “you don’t have to do that” and i said “oh yes i do, after all it’s almost St. patricks day!” so she snickers and says “well in that case, ok”. i said to the bartender “and give me another beer please”.and the bartender says, " i thought you were leaving"!:o [DAM! i aready tipped her!].Ahem,so i introduce myself and she tells me her name. Let’s just call her Miss Hot. So i ask her if she minds me sliding over one stool and she says “no, not at all.” Now i’m thinking " oh yeah! the pheromones are going to help enhance this conversation! It started out the usual small talk,where do you live, what do you do, etc, etc,etc. She was getting into more and more detail as the conversation went on. She even said " I don’t ever give this much information about myself to people i just meet, but for some reason i feel comfortable talking with you ". [THANK YOU SHINE AND THANK YOU HONESTY!!! 
][Now COME ONNN AMMO!!! ] It was now about 11:55 pm now. Well, life was good and i was living in the moment. Then she asked me if i had ever been married and i answered her “yes twice”. then i said “how about you?” WRONG QUESTION TO ASK!!! She proceeded to tell me about her marriage IN DETAIL. from the wedding and all the way through to him cheating and up to the divorce. Oh and did i mention In detail? i believe they had roast beef, mashed potatos and corn for dinner on august 14th of 2005 but i could have my dates mixed up since my brain was fighting with me to turn her off as it was now about 12:25 am. i think the instant honesty was getting sucked into every pore of her being. By12;35 A.M., i felt like a freakin bobblehead from nodding so much.The extent of my vocabulary since the marriage question was about 40 or 50 uh huhs. By 12:45 a.m. i could see her lips moving but i think she was retelling it in spanish and i believe i had a little drool running out of the corner of my mouth.i’m not really sure because my brain kept calling me an idiot and telling me that 1 spray of instant honesty would have been Enough!!! Thank god for cell phones!! Hers rang and she finally came up for air to answer it!! i was ready to pull a Leonard Skinnard and take three steps toward the door when she hung up and said that she had to go. We exchanged goodnites and she said she hoped to run into me again so WE could Talk more. I believe i’m going to cut back on the honesty dosage from now on.
that, my friend, was the funniest damn post i have ever read !!!
if i could rep you 8 times in a row, i would
that wasnt a bartender, that was an IDIOT. dumb as a rock.
gee, you think that was a hit ???
wow. IH is an entity unto itself …
maybe it has memory-enhancing properties? 
HAHAHAHAHA
i hope everyone reads the power of honesty…
thak you lor.
***Instant Honesty, double strength, $50.
Two beers plus tip, $10.
Learning the parable of the hand stuck in the cookie jar – priceless.
While it may be the case that You Can’t Always Get What You Want, you may not only get what you need, but more of what you asked for than expected.
Tommy, when I read your post, I laughed; I forgot my feet hurt. REP to you, lad.
he he he …
thank you MARK. glad i could help.
Fantasy:
He: sees her, puts in ear plugs obviously sticking out
She: shocked/quizzical look
He: (LOUD, as if DEAF) "I knew you’d want to talk some more about your ex- and I wanted to be sure I could PERFORM for you as LONG and as HARD as it might be for me to listen about that putz (shmuck, idiot, ass, peckerwood, etc.)
"But I am COMMITTED to the long TALK for you.
Var 1:
She: Laughs Gives shit right back
He: “it’s all good.”
Var 2:
She: Pissed, angry, insulted looks / comments
He: Winks, pulls out ear plugs
He: " I knew I was a good listener, but until I met you I had no idea how good I can be. So I owe you."
(This should shift her back into Var 1)
Var 3:
She: confused or hurt looks / behaviors / comments
He: abruptly changes subject, but NEVER apologizes or says “Just kidding”
hahahahaha MARK. i love #2, but i’d probably have to go with # 3. less communication.
thank tou Gone.
i meant thank you Gone. i have a typing impediment. :o
I think the “Weren’t you leaving?” might have been an IH hit too!
hahahaha, great story, that was indeed hilarious!!! thanks for waking me up, i needed that I think you could have kissed her to make her shut up..but hey next time. wow, I didn’t know instant honesty was that powerful. makes me want to get some.
bobblehead lmao
This story killed me! Reps for you bro! and like you stated and so did a few others, hold off a little on that double strength Instant honesty! lol
he cant.
he wears it like he wears a smile-
more often than not .
hahaha what a night !!
i’m glad you all found this post enjoyable. i would like to thank all who gave me rep. points and thank you for the compliment Lor.
i think the instant honesty was getting sucked into every pore of her being. By12;35 A.M., i felt like a freakin bobblehead from nodding so much
…thats the funniest line i have ever read on this forum lol