Essence of Woman and Instant Honesty accidentally started a love triangle

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
1

It seems I accidentally created some kind of love triangle. :open_mouth:

I wore Essence of Woman and Instant Honesty with a plain vanilla cover scent, intent on seeing my TargetGuy, but ended up spending quite a bit of time with - who else - Punk! before Target showed up. He was all over me. Even when the other people who live with him were around, he had to be touching me in some way, whether his hands were on my shoulders or he was giving me a hug. There was nothing sexual, of course, but he was at my side the whole time I was there. By the time Target finally showed up to take us out to dinner, I had to pry Punk off me. While he was outside for a cigarette, I managed a bit of shameless flirting with my Target, who was beginning to show a BIT of interest… but nowhere near as much as Punk was, which is probably due to the difference in their personalities.

My Target is shy and reserved, a sweet guy, and Punk is outspoken and outgoing and mischievous. Despite the blatant interest Punk is showing in me, which is my own fault for allowing him to be exposed to four drops of EoW, I now have the task of finding a way of getting TargetGuy’s attention. Wahhh… what do I do?! Target’s showing an increased interest, but he still hasn’t said or done much because of how incredibly shy he is. Last night, though, I did manage a five-or-ten-minute cuddle, which was momentous because he so hates to be touched.

I just don’t know where to go from here! :frowning: Any help out there? :confused:

Looks, YET AGAIN, but with a twist! I swear!
Getting in on the megadose deal...
2

ummm … are you sure you want to be with someone who hates to be touched? Do you think this is going to change?

::sorry::

3

No no, I see your point completely. I guess it’s the Aquarius in me that loves a challenge. My Target’s not keen on being touched but he always makes an exception for me, which is what’s got the gears in my head a-turnin’…

But I’ll be seeing the other one today, so I’ll have another opportunity to gauge which one’ll be better for me.
Thanks for pointing this out, now I have something to think about!

But then again, I always seem to want the ones that are wrong for me. Hmmm :frowning:

4

Well, just a thought here: it’s rare that someone who has a serious problem with touching doesn’t make exceptions for parents, siblings, lovers and others very close to them. I’m sure that a phobia of touching does exist to that degree, but in my experience it’s rare. I know a lot of people who really have a problem being touched by anyone outside their “close circle”, and since your TG is already making exceptions for you, I’d imagine if you entered into a relationship with him he would have very little problem with you touching him. His issues with the general populace touching him would probably continue, as is true for a surprising number of people.

5

Just my two-cents worth…I have been through three marriages (and divorces) and a ton of other “relationships”, both long and short term, so I do have considerable experience, I guess you’d say…:roll_eyes:

As far as the physical aspect is concerned, some people need that, and some don’t. You just need to decide what you really want in that part of your life. I am a very touchy-feely person myself, and I was always with men who were NOT of that type. As a result, I always developed the feeling that something was missing…there was always something I was looking for…now, I am with a man who is just the same as me…always wanting to touch, hug, cuddle…it is constant, and it is FABULOUS!! The physical human contact seems to make every other aspect of the relationship just that much BETTER…I have decided that even if the sitaution with my current sweetie doesn’t work out in the end, I will never be in a long term relationship with someone who is not physically affectionate…

So, like you said…think about what is best for you…I find that those who don’t like to be touched can never really change that part of themselves…they may make exceptions for people close to them, but it may not be as much contact as you want or need…:wink:

6

That’s really cogent advice; people definitely do have different amounts of physical affection. I happen to be a very physically affectionate person as well. I was just kind of shooting from the hip in terms of people who have an actual strong aversion to touching or a phobia of some kind.

You’re completely right, though, I also need a certain sense of physical affection in my relationships.

7

Thank you guys. You’ve been a huge help, and brought up many things I need to think about. I’m affectionate in friendships (hugging, of course) and I look for the same in relationships. If my Target doesn’t open up to me with any further coaxing I’ll have to set my sights on someone else.

8

some people might be so sensitive to touch that they find it overstimulating to be touched by people they don’t yet know well enough/are not yet comfortable with. so if he falls in this category, perhaps conceivable it might change…

9

It is really dependent on the person, and trust may also play a factor. For some, physical communication just isn’t part of their repertoire. With my BF, the first couple of year of our relationship (just wondering now, wow, I really must love him because I stuck it out, certain he would relax around me and could learn another behavior to add to HIS repertoire) were tough because I was far more physically expressive than he. Like Dolly mentioned, I felt something was missing. I was also afraid I was not “enough” for him, and that magically, with the right woman he would be all touchy.

Over time he’s become much more touchy and physically affectionate. It’s really beautiful. And likewise, I’ve learned to be more stoic when it actually behooves me to be that way. You can gain so much from a well balanced relationship that on the surface may not appear balanced. Just because something you want is missing, you have to find out truly how much you need it. It sounds like your TG is making exceptions for you. If all other signs are positive, I wouldn’t give up until you know more about his ability to communicate physically, a stated desire of yours for a relationship. If you sense he’s already letting you in closer than others, take this as quite a compliment and work it!

I think some people are just not comfortable with physical communication and touch PERIOD, for others it’s a case by case basis, and for some its situational. What do you need/want, and what can you tolerate that fits within your needs/wants. If TG fulfills say, 85% of your need/want, then I’d say stick with it if all other signs are a go. A partner need not (nor should be expected to) meet ALL your needs: s/he should contribute to your life, be an enjoyable presence. I’m a firm believer that we will never match another person perfetly like a puzzle piece, and in fact, it’s the areas where we don’t that are yours left to you for growth.

10

Thanks to all of you for your help. I kept all your words in consideration when I chose to head out to the movies with… well… the punk. Yes, ol’ Target may have opened up in time, but over the past few days I’ve found something much more special building up between my punk and I.

It took a bit of work and a LOT of careful observation and interpretation on my part, but Miss Alseides just may have acquired a man. :roll_eyes: One who loves her for who she is, and will be just as affectionate with her as she wants (sometimes a little bit more so!). This is something I’ve never had. And I was more or less trapped in a very neglectful relationship for two years prior to this, so I’m ecstatic.

He said to me, “I’m going to tell you a story.” He put his arms around me. “There was this little German boy. And he was kind of sitting around with this beautiful girl, you know, just chilling. And he loves her.”

And then he kissed said beautiful girl. :smiley:

:slight_smile: For those wondering what I was wearing, 3 drops EoW between neck/wrists, 4 sprays Instant Honesty to hair, a spritz of Pink Sugar (which is fantastic btw)… grin

I’m going to hit the hay. I’m quite tired. :smiley: Thank you guys for everything!

and sorry if I’m incoherent. My head’s still in the clouds. :roll_eyes:

11

I had a feeling about Punk :wink: .

I hope everything works out wonderfully for you.

12

Wonderful story…and I know about neglectful relationships…been there, done that…I had a feeling from what you had said earlier that this was the choice you would make…YOU GO GIRL!!! :smiley:

13

Let’s hear it for Punk! wishing you both the best!

  • Carrie
14

I’m wishing you the best, too, sweetheart.

I know about neglectful relationships, too…they hurt. But they make you into the person you are, and they make you delve deeper and give more in the relationships that follow, which can only help you.

Much love to you both. <3

15

Alseides:

I am about to head out the door, and don’t often (actually I never do this) do this, but I feel this can help you. I feel I’ve been asked to help here..

I want you to have SOMEONE ELSE - not you, buy a rose quartz crystal for you. Does not matter what size or shape, but let someone else purchase it, so it is a gift.

When you receive it, put it in a shallow dish with enough cold water to cover it, add a teaspoon of salt to it and put it on your bedroom window-ledge in the sunlight, until a whole moon cycle has completed.

When the crystal is cleansed, I want you to charge it thus:

Take the crystal in the palm of both hands, one at a time, and close your fingers around it. It will only feel as if it is “at home” in one of your hands. This is your wishing hand.

Holding the crystal in that hand, repeat out loud, this Sacred Alchemy Blessing every night for seven nights at midnight:

Please help me to overcome my inhibitons, and allow me to freely love as I ought.
Compel those who love me to love me simply for being me.
Make me fully aware of my own power as a woman, and of my own sensuality and sexuality - always in a loving way.

Please give me the will to express unconditional love - not only to others, but also to myself.
Release me from all negative energies and thoughts, and fill my life with an abundance of love and happiness, so that I may go about my daily duties with a heart that is light, and with happiness deeply rooted in my soul.

Put the rose Quartz crystal under your pillow.

As you are repeating the Blessing and when you place the crystal under your pillow, visualise the man you want to share your love with.

This Blessing will open your heart chakra and your throat chakra and will allow you first of all to love YOURSELF, as at the moment, you do not. It will also help you to become sensually aware of your own strength as a woman, and as you become more aware of how wonderful you are, so others will see that which has been hidden from them.

I await with interest and confidence, the changes you will experience.

Blessed Be.

Ail )O(

16

wow , punk’s pretty ballsey.
that ROCKS!
make him crazy, its our job as women :stuck_out_tongue:

17

Thank you very much, Ail - it means more than words can say. I’ve been having quite a bit of trouble regaining the love I once had for myself. It was utterly decimated by said past relationship. I am deeply flattered by this, and I’m going to see about your blessing. I do have a feeling already that it’ll help me just as you say it will.

Thanks to all of you for your help. I don’t know if I’d have allowed myself to really “go for it” (or rather, let HIM go for it) if it weren’t for your support. May not seem like much, but it does mean a lot. <3

18

Alseides: I liked the sound of Punk from you first post. He sounds cool. I hope you find happiness with him. He certainly sounds very smooth.

This is the best advice I think you will get, Now, I am sure punk isn’t but…lots of guys are rats - especially the ones who are the life of the party, forwards physically and always seem to know just the right thing to say…

…like I said I am sure Punk isn’t a rat but none the less…make him work for you, make him prove himself, rememeber you are the prize, you deserve the best, he has impressed you enough to earn some of your time…but he will have to keep working to secure a woman as amazing as you.

Make him Crazy. :slight_smile: - good luck.

And as for target - I know this is academic now, but…he sounds like the kind of guy that would shy away from risks, Showing your intent (as in showing you would like to get into a relationship with a woman) is regarded by most men as a risk - the less interest she has shown the higher the risk. You need to be really forward with guys like this “I like you a lot, I can see myself in a relationship with you - what do you think?” If you don’t spell it out for him he may never take that step.

Ail,

That was amazing.

I love the mantra - that was so powerful, I am going to nick the second paragraph for myself. (you know more about me and my situation than many on this board so I hope that makes sence).

Gem x

19

:slight_smile: Aw, thanks Gem. I’ve known Punk for about five years now, and I loved him as a friend and pretty much just assumed he was a rat. He is very charming, and I’ve always thought so, but my brain equated “charming” with “rat” - But I’m blown away by this loving side of him, because I had no idea it even existed. I will most definitely keep him on his toes though. Making him crazy’ll be fun for the both of us. :wink:

20

If you have something that works for us guys let us know. Please.

There is someone to whom I wish to give wings.