I had a conversation with 2 friends at work today. One guy and one girl both attractive. The conversation went from work related issues to the guy telling us that he is seeing a new girl. He showed us the picture his new girl sent him and he plans to invite her home after the 3rd date.
As I have little to comment on how a woman would response in such situation I basically kept my mouth shut and listen. The guy is just talking about how women that jump to bed after 1st date aren’t respectable; invite her home doesn’t mean anything, he might wait until 4th date. All the while the girl laughs hysterically and the guy chuckled. (he has the chuckle while talking ability)
After the guy went home I asked the girl what was so funny about that conversation. All he had done was providing a few facts and discuss what he plans to do; no dirty joke or innuendo.
The girl said she doesn’t know either, it is just the vibe.
What is vibe? Is it the voice pitch, the chuckle, the pouting lips, the look or some kind of pheromone?
I’m not an expert on this but basically I would say that girl’s subconscious interpretation of the guy that telling you both his standards was quite favorable in that moment of time. When girls are attracted to a man due to their impression of him they may laugh at any moment in time even though the particular guy didnt use wit, sarcasm, humor, or innuendo. I only say this b/c certain girls tend to laugh at what I say even though I wasnt even remotely hinting at humor and honestly my mind goes like “Huh? why is that funny?”
Tone of voice helps but its the whole packaged persona. Certain men have it in them to have women quite comfortable in their presence and sometimes that social charisma will result in women trying to win that man’s approval through attentiveness including laughing as that in a sense has the possibility of stroking the ego.
It’s hard to explain because a vibe is in effect intangible. It can be one specific thing that creates a vibe, but usually it’s a combination of things.
Frankly I think the female friend in your story was attracted to the male.
The “vibe” she was speaking of was attraction and chemistry.
The male displayed a few things here.
One, social proof…he displayed that other women find him attractive.
He communicated in a very good way that he is in fact a sexual male, yet he also has standards with regard to women. Being willing to wait coupled with pre selection communicates that he’s not desperate for sex (a guy that’s not getting any will close or die trying and women know this)
That he was chuckling shows that he’s not nervous or ashamed of talking openly about his masculinity and sexuality, a good sign of confidence.
The girl was laughing imo as a nervous response to a growing sense of attraction toward the guy, something that I think he may have sensed and contributed to his chuckling. Bottom line, they were flirting…the fact that you were sitting there with them may have contributed to the “vibe”. That they were sub communicating sexual interest with you there may have made it feel like naughty fun, not unlike people that enjoy having sex in places where there is a risk of being caught.
Thanks for the explanation RADMAN. What you’ve said made a lot of sense and you are probably right about him flirting with her. The guy and I shared a close mutual friend and when I told her (the mutual friend) about the girlfriend picture story she said that’s not his girlfriend, it is a girl friend he and his brother know.
I know he has had trouble with girl gaming him and he is on the same path I am on except he is about a year or two ahead. (body building, grad school, cooking, team sport and Dale Carnegie). The close mutual friend of ours is helping the two of us “improve” and I would not put it above him to pull a girlfriend story. (I hope it would never come to this for me)
Funny thing though, he said to our mutual friend that the new girl is not his type. He doesn’t like thin blonde. I don’t buy the “type” story for a second.
The BEST exercise I have ever seen or heard of to explain vibing was done by a friend of mine Grant, who lived with Lance Mason from PickUp 101. Even if you are not into seduction stuff, this was just to golden not to share.
Basically you start a conversation with a friend. Whatever the friend says in their sentence, you pick up on something and start a new sentence. Go back and forth like this:
A: I went to Bermuda to this hotel and got a tan
B: My uncle used the fish in Bermuda shorts
A: the Dock Street Grill has an amazing Fish salad
B: I cooked a juicy steak on my grill last night
A: I ate a peach that was so juicy I needed a bath
B: I don’t take many baths, but I shower daily
See what is happening there. One word starts the next sentence. Of course that would be a weird conversation, but it is a great exercise to demonstrate vibing. So now that you, hopefully, understand that exercise lets move it into the next level.
When speaking with someone you will NEVER run out of things to say. You are also building a level of comfort because you are using words from them and this says you have listened. Its very hypnotic as well. Lets use a more accurate display example how it might sound.
A: So last night I was at this restaurant in Bermuda and I ate the Red Snapper and it was succulent and juicy. It was so delicious and the best I’ve ever had.
B: WOW, that reminds me of the time I was in Seattle and I stayed at this hotel right over the water. When I walked out onto the porch a red snapper jumped right up onto the deck where I was standing. I was like this place is great.
Do you get how that works? Intrinsically you are using their words to re-thread the conversation without going gaga over what they have said. It uses their words and builds connection. Hope this helps
Thank you Steve. I think I have to learn/get into the seduction stuff to communicate with women on another level. I can do a business presentation in front of 20 people but not talk to women on an emotional level.
I love your “my uncle has…” analogy. The guy I talked about has a lot of my uncle, my friend, my friend’s friend stories. Some of the stories are clearly exaggerated and none can be verified. Anything the girl said he would have a similar experience or can relate to.
Girl: I like Mexican food but I not taco bell.
Guy: I have an uncle that only eats Italian food. He almost tried Chinese once but said it is not worth it.
Me: taco bell beef is only 35% beef
Girl would respond by asking what that uncle is like but not my statement that bell is only 35% beef
Aarrgh! Sorry to take this off-topic, but see what that frivolous lawsuit did to Taco Bell. Now everyone believes that Taco Bell uses 35% beef. I have seen several people here repeat this falsehood. Frivolous lawsuits frustrate me sooo much (as you can see). Sorry, back to your original topic.
I am not offended LOL. Are you asking about vibing or vibe ?
What Steve is describing is vibing which is a PUA term for building rapport through certain word suggestion that move the convo and ultimately the persons mindset into more intimate territory. You use specific words to push the feeling towards whatever your intention is. If you want a better understanding of this get the book Social Intellegence by Daniel Goleman. Its a great book and help in this area.
A vibe on the other hand is a feeling you project on a more holistic level. It can be done in many different ways. Verbally as in the example Steve gave. Using sound cues, like laughing, chuckling, gasping, making that a Mm-hm or ah-huh sound when your understanding or agreeing with someone even placing pauses in certain places when speaking. You can also project a vibe with body language, vocal pitch, facial expression, kino, and even the way you dress. You can do it pheromonally as well.
The best results are when you use a combo of all these things. Of course you need to learn them one at a time but as you do you can slowly incorporate them into your interactions in a more conscious way. We do it unconsciously all the time though.
Now your friend is obviously conscious of it and could have been giving off other vibes that caused this response in her and its hard to say without the visual but…
I agree with Rads take basically. There is actually a whole conversation going on under the obvious one. The guy is displaying value and clear intentions but at the same time he is checking for cues that give him a indication of when he should make his move and the mindset of the girl.
Now going on your description she is laughing hysterically. This indicates that 1 she is interested, 2 she is nervous and 3 he hit on some truth about her. She probably would sleep with him before the 4th date.
It would be different if you described it as laughing hysterically in a mocking way so I am just going on what you wrote.
Now you notice how you wrote when he was talking to you he said he usually waits till about the 4th date but he told you when he showed you a picture of his new girl he was going to bring her home on the 3rd date. I am not sure if his new girl is the same girl you used in your example but either case… Her vibe gave him the indication that he could move before the 4th date.
His chuckle shows he is not nervous or intimidated… it projects confidence or amusement and also indicates “yep I know I got you”
