Just wanted to open this one up. The girl i want to ask is quite timide but im sure she likes me. Worried she may say no though due to her shyness.
Any suggestions
No sugestions?
patience grasshopper, its only been 48 minutes since ur original post.
Forgive me being curt, but it seems like the “problem” is you, not her? You’re worried she’ll say no. You’re worried. Get it?
You know Daedelus76 is right on here my friend. If a girl is shy that is more the reason you need to step it up and be brave and exciting. Maybe her shyness is just a way to see if any men will step up and accept the challenge.
In PUA world we call that a shit test!
If you want her to talk more try some IO and lots of it. If she still does not respond to the IO chances are she is shy. Then it’s still in your court to make her want to speak with you. Keep trying and don’t give up.
It seems to me you are worried about rejection. That’s a possibility. But if you do nothing, it just leads to regrets, which could be worse. I’ve been there.
Shy people respond very well to compliments, I should know as I was more than a bit shy, and still am. So go up to her and compliment her on something to get started in a conversation. Maybe she has a nice dress, or you like something else about her. There’s no “shield” that shy people put up usually, so you don’t have to game them. You probably don’t even need pheros. Just don’t be too forward- maybe just start out with some compliments, small talk, and see how it goes from there, maybe ask her out for coffee, or walk her to her car or bus or something similar- no big commitments.
I would make sure she likes you before you do anything, if you are unsure if she likes you then I wouldn’t act on it JUST yet. See if she does things that are IOI’s, such as her touching you, calling you ‘hon’, her looking at you when you are looking another way, etc.
How old are you? If you want a ‘date’ just do coffee.. If you want to make it easier say you are going to the mall on whatever day and you want some company, unless she is busy she will say yes. Then, you can go on your date, she just wont really know its one.. you can go get a bite wherever and there is no pressure? ya feel me?
In terms of phero’s, Im not totally sure. Ammo or Instant female magic I suppose. But you already know her and there is attraction, or so it seems, so most of the work is done.
good luck.
Also, just forgot… don’t play it off like you are in love with this girl, show a little interest but if she sais no or doesn’t feel the same way then just be neutral about it. Don’t whine or beg, that will get you no where. Just be ‘cool’ about it and chat for a few more minutes and go about your day. Perhaps a little more info will help us.
Shy people don’t give off alot of verbal indicators of interest and they definitely don’t touch you. If she looks at you alot, or is comfortable being relatively close to you (within your “personal space”, which varies by culture), that’s a good sign that she trusts you enough or is interested in you.
Sometimes shy people are self conscious and WILL respond favorably to indicators of interest/attraction, because they expect the opposite. Just don’t be too forward or smothering, give people room for choices (including the choice to reject whatever you offer). I think alot of shy people would respond very negatively to the typical “game” strategy of a backhanded complement. Alot of shy people are very fearful of rejection and pick up on any ambiguous/negative comment.
I think if she is so shy that you can’t get her to talk, then maybe just move on. Even if shy people open up, they will not all of a sudden talk your ear off. Having a shy Girlfriend is kind of lame in my opinion. Your choice though.
Pants??
Seriously, you might want to try some Openness, but if she is that shy and it isn’t an act to get rid of you are you sure you want to get involved with her?
Gonna take a stab in the dark here and say Come Talk To Me, perhaps? I’ve never used it myself. Can’t really help with shy girls, as I don’t know too many. Seems like the IOI’s you’ll want to watch for are if she plays with her hair or touches her face or ears while talking to you. Then again, if she’s shy, she may also do it out of nervousness.
Don’t come on too strong and try to boost her ego a little bit. In the PUA world it’s called “giving value”, and it’s a give-away you do if you’re in a perceived position of higher value while talking to a girl with possible self-esteem or self-consciousness issues. Compliments, as has already been mentioned, are a good start, but make sure they’re sincere and not contrived.
Good luck and tell us how it plays out!
-D4
Ok thx for the advice, will do
I didnt mean to say it was her problem by no means just somthing to make it easier perhaps.