What's up with this girl?

[SteveO]

@smoothplayer

Well, from your original post, Glorbon, I personally think after that first coffee date you should have made a move. A 2 hour conversation is pretty long, and you didn’t mention anything about kissing/sex. Most likely she probably thinks you rejected her. Maybe you didn’t read her body language that well and she was anticipating some action.

From my experience, if a girl is willing to go on a date with you, she is considering sleeping with you. She wouldn’t go on a date if she wasn’t interested.

I’ve had this happen before a few times. Here’s the worst one. Girl invited me over to her dorm room for a movie. We sat on her bed and she asked if I’d ever had a ONS and we started talking about sex etc. But I played aloof, LOL and didn’t make a move. After that, even though she was still in my social circle she barely ever talked to me again. Forget eye contact, she wouldn’t even come within 10 feet of me, LOL. I didn’t realize that I was the one who had rejected her, until friends started telling me how down and depressed she was, etc. After that happened, she pretty much kept to herself for a few months and wouldn’t come out and socialize with the group!

I mean I’ve had other situations like this too, but eventually I realized that the problem was me not making a move. You should be more bold. Worst case scenario she files sexual harrassment…just kidding, seriously though, there’s nothing to worry about. Most of us guys are too afraid of being bold, and I even have to remind myself of this a lot of times.

After this happens, consider yourself to have no chance. A girl has to be really desperate/horny to give you a second chance if you reject her. Girls typically have lower self esteem, so if they feel like you rejected them, there isn’t much of a second chance. They won’t believe you even if you show interest. It’s not even the self-esteem as much as I think she feels like she would appear desperate if she gave you a second chance. A lot of stuff like this goes unspoken, women are more body-language / emotional than us guys.

Anyway, hope that helps. Best of luck with your future dating experiences.

Yup, what SmoothPlayer said!

[dss]

I agree what smoothplayer said … I had that happen to once.

went to dinner and movie with this one girl and went for a walk than she invides me in after billing me out of jail (lol long story) and we end up watching a movie and having couple drinks on her bed and she ask me to give her a back massage and some of her clothing come of lol and I did well NOTHING about it so that was the last time I ever heard from her again.

[Butterfly]

@smoothplayer

Yeah, of course I didn’t mean go for sex after the coffee date in the afternoon, lol. I meant, he should have at least made a “move” as in, initiated some sort of indication of his interest in her. Such as getting closer to her, initiating touch, and at the end maybe hugged her or gave her a kiss on the cheek. Something to just show that it’s not completely platonic. I just gave that example of the the dorm room girl as an extreme example, but I didn’t mean sex after an afternoon coffee date.

What I was saying overall is that us guys (at least from my own experience personally), a lot of times we think if we show interest we’ll come across as desperate, so sometimes we hold back, from touching or certain things, when basically if you hold back too much the girl will think you’re not even interested. Personally, I find it’s easiest to start with the hands/feet. When you’re sitting bumping feet and then holding her hand to ask about her jewelry, etc. Thats of subtle thing.

You are so right.

Handholding and other gentle touching is pretty much always okay if a girl is willing to spend time alone with you. As long as you do the getting closer in small steps forward, don’t fear looking desperate.

The guys that have a reputation for being desperate tend to be guys who get pushy when a girl takes a step back, and thus get rejected often.
When a guy has been rejected by 2 or 3 girls in his circle, girls start thinking of him as a reject. You would also have to be a bit not handsome to get that name.

When things progress slowly and smoothly, with no abrupt leaps forward, it all feels more natural. Romantic and sexual tension builds up gradually and you get used to the idea of the guy being a romantic prospect before anything irreversible happens.