I’m glad you wrote this, I’m sure I come across as a lecturing know-it-all. This post will probably be no exception. So ya know, I’m not out to change your mind, but to clarify my intents to anybody else who should be reading this…
In my first post to this thread, in the moment, I thought I was being funny while making my point. Rereading my own post later(after people started to thank me), I felt I came off as very snarky.
For the record, I’ve never felt even slightly upset as some others in this thread. Certainly nowhere near angry enough to neg rep anyone. To me, the action of neg repping alone speaks volumes about the person, their outlook AND its relationship to this thread. If anything, I feel sorta detached (read my reaction when I realized I was neg repped).
I feel like I’m just explaining. Sharing what I’ve read about the concepts of Milton Erickson Richard Bandler, Dwayne Dyer and a lot of other psychologists and psychiatrists who spent their lives studying people and are all way smarter than I could ever hope to be. The Attractor can dismiss them all if he wishes, that’s his choice.
The elements you find so attractive about The Attractor’s posts, I find annoying.
Where I find myself getting annoyed is when, while blowing off these concepts, he is also making crap up to fit his arguments such as his minimum base line whatever, his projection about Thomas Edison (Edison used to sleep in his suit, wearing the same one for weeks at a time-- in humid New Jersey-- a guess on my part, but I doubt Edison looked to others for validation the way The Attractor suggests). This attitude strikes me as arrogant, self-important and lazy. There is a wealth of free information out there by real professionals, no need to make junk up.
If there are two trains of thought out there, it’s reactive (I’ll just wait for the “good experience” to come to me) and the proactive (Life just messed me up, I can bitch and moan about it or I can get it there and do something about it, which will make me feel better about myself). (Again, not MY made-up concept)
My other annoyance is about blaming your friends for their “bad” advice. The ironic thing (to me, at least) is that people usually hang around people who are similar in thought to themselves. If your friends aren’t able to offer you great advice on how to develop confidence, isn’t it likely that if they knew the answer, they’d be applying it to themselves? They’re messed up too, how come you aren’t helping them? Actually, if you’re over your head and making it up, I find that even worse advice.
Maybe this will also sound like lecturing, but in books on influence by Robert Cialdini and Kevin Hogan, they sight studies (perhaps the same study) that demonstrated that people are much more likely to follow through when given specific instructions rather than something nebulous like “be more confident.” But the average person doesn’t know that tidbit, so why complain? That’s my point.
Is “be more confident” bad advice? For some people, that might be all they need to hear. For most others, the advice may be incomplete, in and of itself. That’s why there are doctors, libraries, the Internet. Do whatever works for you. For some people, that means waiting for a “good experience” to come knock 'em across the head.
