F*ck my life

Lounge
1

I really tried becoming confident, social, and connecting with others… But I CANT!! Maybe im a f*ckin retard, maybe I need to get my ass KICKED and my head bashed so that I’ll start thinking straight.

I really hate my life because im dumb. I can’t talk straight, think straight, and even be emotional. I’m just filled with fear… intimidated by people, powerful people, attractive people, confident people, intelligent people. I treat myself 2nd class, a slave…

I’m really dysfunctional… ADD, non emotional, fearful, sexually repressed, forgetful, clumsy, evil, selfish, ignorant and the list keeps going..

I really know how fucked up I am, but what even more fucked up is that I don’t think I have enough passion to change. I want to, but when it comes down to it, I’m still afraid to approach random women byself, go visit a psychologist, tell my family members.

I just don’t want my family members to know cause of the heartache I’ll cause and the humiliation I’ll face.

Can someone really just beat the shit out of me and help me get to my senses??

2

…Thank you finally I know exactly how you feel I’ve been to the absolute rock bottom so I can understand you.

I thought when am I ever going to get out of this and be happy I had no friends on my phone I would fill it with my family so I wouldn’t feel horrible about myself.

We need to talk more privately through PM

3

“Time to Stand!” program and presentations by Sean Stephenson (http://timetostand.com/) Look at this guy and how much is wrong with him then look at what he has accomplished nothing can stop you.

4

Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen if you approach a girl. She says no, rejects your approach. No actual pain, no injury, nothing life threatening, ie nothing to genuinely be afraid of.

If you were genuinely non emotional most of the other things you describe would be non issues. You express, fear, frustration, anxiety, depression, concern for family…all emotions. I DO believe that in certain situations you may be attempting to detach yourself from your emotions as a defense mechanism for anticipated rejection. But the frustration you feel after the fact tells me that isn’t working.

You need to seek professional help. Your issues seem to be much deeper than mones or advice from a few guys about women can competently address. You may not want to seek help but you’re not happy where you are in life. If you were up to your armpits in a big pile of manure what would be the most logical course of action?
Stand in it complaining about the smell?
Or take the first action step toward getting out it?
Therapy will not be quick or easy, nothing worthwhile ever is. Your issues both real and imagined cannot be fixed instantly. You will not change overnight. But with the help of a trained professional you can make things better. I hope you seek that help and experience success.

5

travel places, and do it by yourself, it helped me with so much, it helps build self-confidence, it helped me with so much, i was EXACTLY like you. Give it a try.

6

Sounds like you already beat yourself up pretty bad, dude.

What you’re experiencing is normal life. Think of it like the ocean. You sit on the beach and the waves hit you again and again. The difference is some people stand up and move with the waves, or they even surf on them. You’re just kind of sitting there and taking it.

Its time to get up and surf, dude. Ride the wave. Live life and quit letting it knock you around.

Everybody has felt the way you do at one time or another, just eventually we’ve learned to stand up and not let the waves hit us in the face anymore.

Do it.

Also, this: YouTube - Best Motivational Video-Watch this every morning!

7

That video is pretty sick.

8

great video. who has the right to stop YOU? Nobody. Let’s progress my friend.

9

Man you are the shit have that mentality. There might be some 6.6 billion people on this planet but there is only one you. When you wake up think “I am going to rock shit today I am the shit and everybody else is just dog shit.”

10

I’m trying to figure out if I wrote that… I feel that way all the time. So you’re not alone bro!

11

Loner. You see how this young guy Jstn jumped up in that thread and was happy that someone finally knows how he feels.

Now, you are older than him and suppose to be wiser and not to put pressure but it would be great to show him that even with all of that change can happen and can come.

If you are giving up, if all of us give up what hope if there for the future generation.

I can give you many examples because in life people will beat you down, f*ck I wake up sometimes and feel that this whole world and system is made to screw with you and take the little that you have and if you are not strong or if you are good then you might as well give up.

What you are feeling is not even real as shocking as it sounds problems are made up like test tube babies to keep us down.

Think forward.

Think progress.

Think positive.

Think solutions.

And when you start feeling like that and start feeling sorry for yourself think of how worse it could be and the people who do have it worse but they never gave up and neither should you.

Hugs.

Wish I could give you one in person. Be strong you have it in you just like all of us it’s up to you to give up and if you decide to this forum is not for you my friend because we are not a bunch of quitters.

12

Well, Loner, you’re not dumb. You put sentences together too well for me to believe that, better than most people on this board.

You certainly do not lack the passion to change. You write a very passionate post. In fact, you may be a little too passionate about some things… That’s probably a big part of your problem. Change takes time.

Fear of approaching random women is a normal fear. People who don’t have that fear are liars or imbeciles. It is very often a totally realistic fear. One thing that helps is learning some body language, identify indicators of interest (IOIs) so you are less likely to approach hostile women and more likely to approach a woman who wants you to approach.

As others have pointed out, you need to stop bullying yourself. That’s more easily said than done. One way to get to your senses, as you request, is to pay less attention to that self-critical aspect of your personality – afterall, it is not coming from your senses. It is coming from your head, and in many cases it is, frankly, wrong.

Popular culture puts a lot of pressure on guys to be sexually aggressive playboy types. This is an historical aberration and it is just not a lifestyle many guys would like even if they could have it. Is there a particular woman you care about, who shows an interest in you, whom you are afraid to approach, or is it just women in general? This may be a totally rational fear, which acts in your best interests.

I think a lot of the fear and distraction you experience is simply a reaction to your own self criticism, which is often both unrealistic and unhealthy. In many cases you are afraid of doing things that you shouldn’t be doing to begin with, and then you go and hate yourself for having done the right thing… Be patient with yourself. Trust your gut a bit more.

13

It sounds like you are depressed and feel ashamed of yourself…To be honest, before you can effectively put energy into others and have a social life, you need to take care of yourself first. Who will love and respect you if you don’t do it yourself first? I think it is easiest to start with the physical/practical side.

  • Exercise. It will rewire your brain to make you feel happier and is very effective against depression. Hit the gym 3 times a week and take a walk every day after dinner.

  • Eat healthy, take Omega-3 pills to support a healthy brain and healthy thoughts.

  • Keep your body and environment clean and calming. Pay your bills on time, put in a full day at work/school. Just the basic stuff at first. That will stop most worrying and shame.

Then, look at your mind/spirit:

  • Write down want your values are. Not what your parents or peers think you should be, but what you consider to be important. This helps you be your own man.

  • Write down what is not acceptable to you, and defend yourself against it. This helps you not feel like a slave, but a first class citizen.

  • Find out what you enjoy. Try a variety of activities, interests, foods, films, songs etc. Learn to experience pleasure. Do something that pleases you every day.

When you like yourself and are proud of who you are, you will naturally be more attractive to others and at the same time need them less. Even if others can make you feel better for a bit, you can end up in dark places if you cannot accept yourself.

14

spray on some ammo and go talk to some chix, i was in a similar scenario as urs until 1 month back,
and u wont need to go talk to any chick, the list of ioi’s (How to Tell a Woman is Interested In You -- The Master "Indicators of Interest List")
i get a lot of those when ive got some ammo on me, just look around and “attack”
(and it would be a lot better if u toned down the evilness and selfishness, u do need a lil evil in you still, maybe 5% evil would be enough)

15

so wheres your address so i can do what you wish for,
I know what your going through…
most problems arent really real man pretend all your problems are bubbles make them go up and aaway and let them pop pretend as if it is gone.
Put on some IS go to some local events and just relax..

16

The secret to getting back on your feet is not to control/repress your negative emotions… the simplest simile is that repressing emotions is like capping a pot of boiling water to keep the water from escaping. Sure it will prevent water from escaping for awhile, but eventually the lid blows off and you are worse off than if you never capped it.

The next time you start to feel down on yourself DO NOT try to push those feelings away. Instead you have to let yourself feel them… experience those negative thoughts and reflect on why you are feeling them. I know, it sounds like it will just make you feel worse, and it is tough but it is a cathartic experience.

Here is some reading (it helped me alot)

17

I’ve never been in a hole quite as deep as you are in but I had re-occurring really, really bad times until I was nearly 30. For no sensible reason. I never sought help, so I have no clue why I felt so unworthy for such a long time. These depressions just came and passed.

Radman513 has the best advice: seek professional help. While I got past my difficulties without it, it wouldn’t have taken me as long if I’d gotten some. There’s no point in suffering like that in silence.

Getting therapy doesn’t mean that you’re nuts and you won’t cause your family members heartache.

18

I’m new to this forum, but I believe I can give you some advice on eliminating fear and building confidence.

I’ve been where you are, trust me.

It’s all in your mind…

“Whether You Believe You Can, Or You Can’t, You Are Right”

Not so long ago, I suffered from extreme social anxiety. I’m going to share a bit of my story here because I’m not ashamed at all, I’ve built confidence now, and so will you, things get better my friend :slight_smile:

I had such a severe problem that I’d get so sick around people to the point of throwing up. My heart would beat really fast, I’d get dizzy, hyperventilate. I’d start sweating, shaking, tunnel vision, etc. Name an anxiety symptom, and I can guarantee I had it to the extreme.

Many times I ended up at the emergency room thinking I was dying just to hear the usual “you’re fine, go home” response.

I lost all my friends (well, I really didn’t lose them, I just realized I didn’t have any real ones… :open_mouth:) and I was practically a prisoner at my own home.

Every time I got out and I was around people it was a living hell.

I really felt like the biggest weirdo because I knew there was no reason for being afraid, I knew nothing bad could happen.

Well guess what, you can be as rational as you want. You’re still going to experience fear and lack of self esteem.

So one day I promised myself I’d get better no matter what.

I had enough. :angry:

“Get busy living or get busy dying”

I still remember that day… One of the few in my life where I actually cried.

At first, I just got out there really pissed facing my fears. When I felt like throwing up, I forced myself to eat. When I felt like I was having a heart attack I exercised, and the list goes on.

I truly believe on the old saying:

“If you’re going through hell, keep walking”

Then I started to read some books on NLP and Hypnosis, and that’s where my life changed completely.

I became so addicted to NLP exercises and Hypnosis that for 3 weeks I didn’t do anything else.

After those 3 weeks listening to tapes, looking like a weirdo in my bedroom and facing my fears, I was a completely new person.

I still had a bit of fear but that didn’t stop me anymore :slight_smile:

Am I still afraid of things now? Hell yeah… but I get a kick out of it. I see it differently now.

I’m telling you guys, You can f*uck as many girls as you want and that’s rewarding and it feels great,

But there’s no better feeling in your life when you overcome and go through your darkest fears.

It’s the most pure form of freedom.

(Damn! I’m sounding like a poet now, I think I should use copyright on this post :stuck_out_tongue:)

Enough of I’m story, let me give you some tips.

First step is to be willing to face your fears. Even with the best therapy you’re still going to need to face your fears. My tips when in a feared situation are to either psychologically detach yourself from your body and let the sensations come and go (more advanced) or to get pissed and to switch from flight to fight response.

Remember, you have nothing to lose…:slight_smile:

Absolutely try hypnosis and NLP, a lot!

Here’s a YouTube video that helped me tremendously to build confidence and overcome my fears: YouTube - Sample Platinum Hypnosis Session Confidence - Steve G. Jones

I recommend you to download the mp3 version of the video and place it on your iPod or whatever and listen to it at least 2 times a day.

Here’s a website you can use to download the audio of the video in mp3:

Convert Youtube to MP3 & Download Youtube Videos - Free Downloader

For some simple NLP exercises I recommend you to read the book “Instant Confidence” by Paul McKenna (I believe that’s what it is called).

Don’t give up m8, it only gets easier :slight_smile:, go hard on the NLP and Hypnotic stuff and your fears will be so much easier to overcome.

PM me if you need some advice or someone to talk. Even if what you’re experiencing is not similar to what I had, I’m sure some of the feelings you’re going through are similar.

And let me share a secret with you. Once you overcome your fears, you’ll probably be stronger than anyone you’ve ever met. Fear won’t scare you anymore; you’ll laught at it…

Take care m8.

Remember,

“What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger”