3 Things you like when you first notice a lady

[Matthew1982ct]

it’s like ex-QPR manager Ian Hollaway said when his side won a scrappy game 1-0. He said, “You know when you go out and you pull a girl who isn’t beautiful at all. It’s still a result. We won ugly tonight, but we won!”

Nice.

Matt

[Gem]

Just to add, I think the ‘cum dumpster’ mentality (and the word) is disgusting, you can sum up my three things I look for in a woman with one word “self respect” (OK i know that is two words) Any girl that is a potential cum dumpster doesn have slef respect and is a no way in my book

[Reyazul]

@Gem

^^^ Lor, all the above is dead right and spot on…unfortunately most guys don’t think like that, I will attempt to explain my understanding of why by answering your original post…

Guys and girls see the world very differently.

We talk about abundance and scarcity…the average guy sees female company as a scarcity the average sees male attention in abundance. The laws of economics therefore mean that a guy values female attention much higher than the woman values male attention.

There is a phrase - cutting your nose off to spite your face…I think thaat applies in this situation, a guy at a bar, he wants sex, now there is a certain standard of woman that he feels he deserves and a level that he aspires too, then there are women that are less than his standards, no the average guy has trouble picking up a girl who is equal in standard to him (especially for a ‘one nighter’) let alone a girl with higher value. So he is face with going home alone again and jerking off to the internet OR he has the opportunity to take home a girl who is a lower standard than he is worth but at least he is getting some.

I remember reading an experiment in the paper. they took two people, and gave £10 to one person to keep, on the condition that he offered a percentage (of their choice) to the other person to have and the other person agreed to this immediately. If the other person said no, then neither would get anything. Now logically if you were the second person ANYTHING that you were offered would be a result for you and you should say yes…what they found however was that on average, if the 2nd person was offered less than £2.50 of it - they would say no and break the deal and end up with nothing, just becuase they felt like they were being cheated. Think about that - Most people would walk away from £2.50, to prove a point or spite the other person - that is crazy.

A guy is very logical when it comes to sex - 'ok, she might be £2.50 when I am worth at least £5, but at least I am getting the £2.50 rather than nothing.

Women generally don’t feel like this becasue as I said - men are an abundance, I woman could walk out the house and get sex with a man of equal standard any night of the week. so they will walk away from the £2.50.

The other thing consider is that your body doesn’t know you are using condoms, you emotions don’t know this, every time you have sex your body thinks you are potentially going to make a baby, for a woman this is a big commitment, they will lose 9months of their life immediately then have a child for the next 16 years. I.e from the way you see it, the guy you have sex with tonight, has to be worth more than any other guy you could potentially have sex with in the next 9 months. So a woman often won’t make do.
Whereas a guy biologically see’s it has a impregnate and run, he is not commiting to this, it costs him nothing, and he is extending is DNA and ensuring it’s survival. It doens’t really matter if the child is ugly, stupid and has no personality, it sitll has more chance of finding a mate and reproducing than if there was no child at all…

So while to most sensible rational people your original post makes perfect sense and we agree with what you say…out biology takes all our sence and rationality and throws them out the window.

Added to that I think alcohol has a lot to answer for!!!

Absolutely. It’s more of an economical game than anything. Supply and demand are different for each side and we react accordingly.

[toilofday]

@Matthew1982ct

If you met 7 random people and she was one of them; chances are she’d be the thickest right? So that’s bottom 15% of the population and hence a no-no for me too.

From the sounds of it she’s one of the thickest people you’ve ever met. Perhaps in the bottom 3-5% of the population even.

Matt

She was pretty thick lol.

[sigma]

@Gem

Just to add, I think the ‘cum dumpster’ mentality (and the word) is disgusting, you can sum up my three things I look for in a woman with one word “self respect” (OK i know that is two words) Any girl that is a potential cum dumpster doesn have slef respect and is a no way in my book

I hear ya on that one

[Richelieu]

Nice thread! I have many things I love about women and am not about to reduce it to 3 things

as Gem has said the first thing that people notice is looks, I love women and though I am not particually fussed as long as they are attractive I do have a fondness for cute and shorter girls.

I like the way a shy girl acts when they like you, its so cute, a big smile appears on their face and they briefly look you in the eye before looking down still smiling, I find that so cute.

I like confidence in a girl, I like a girl who knows what they want and is ambitious and positive. I do not like all the game playing as was said by another poster and it tends to put me off speaking to a chick faster than anything else.

I love intelligence, depth and an open mind so that not only can she be knowledegeable about a lot of things but she can talk about her passions on a deep level and appreciate what it is that I am passionate about without shooting it down.

I love a sexy girl and there is nothing sexier than a girl who is comfortable in her own skin, has a great sense of humor and looks after her body. Having nice boobies adds to the sexiness I love a nice smile too

[sleekll]

@Phoenix

My experience hasn’t been that shy girls are mature. The last one I went on a date with was quite shy, but prone to emotional outbursts and not good at communicating (or even understanding what I say). Not something I like in a woman.

Yeah, shy girls are a nightmare. I’ve dated quite a few. They’ve all proven to be very unattractive with too many character flaws in the end. IMO they are quiet because they are afraid of exposing their flaws, and because of that never get to work on them. Never growing as a person. I have nothing good to say about shy girls. No good communicating, no good connections…I guess if you want a girl not to talk back to you or just to have a quiet low key (boring) marriage your whole life that’s cool. Or guys that say they prefer short girls, are you just afraid to look one eye to eye and need to have a greater physical presence? Let alone look ‘up’ at a female? I would never say I prefer any height on a girl, I judge each one individually. I really don’t understand a lot of other men in what they look for in a women…it seems like some generate a lot of preferences to cover up their own flaws…even if that was the case they’d never admit to it so I guess its a moot point.

[toilofday]

@sleekll

Yeah, shy girls are a nightmare. I’ve dated quite a few. They’ve all proven to be very unattractive with too many character flaws in the end. IMO they are quiet because they are afraid of exposing their flaws, and because of that never get to work on them. Never growing as a person. I have nothing good to say about shy girls. No good communicating, no good connections…I guess if you want a girl not to talk back to you or just to have a quiet low key (boring) marriage your whole life that’s cool. Or guys that say they prefer short girls, are you just afraid to look one eye to eye and need to have a greater physical presence? Let alone look ‘up’ at a female? I would never say I prefer any height on a girl, I judge each one individually. I really don’t understand a lot of other men in what they look for in a women…it seems like some generate a lot of preferences to cover up their own flaws…even if that was the case they’d never admit to it so I guess its a moot point.

I think we are looking at shy in two different ways. My view of shy, is probably closer to reserved than quiet. The typical shy girl i’ve ran across is not to such an extreme as I feel you took my statement. I agree with you that if there is a girl who doesn’t socialize and keeps to herself it’s probably because of some deep rooted issues. So perhaps reserved would be a better word than shy.

[Lor]

@Gem

^^^ Lor, all the above is dead right and spot on…unfortunately most guys don’t think like that, I will attempt to explain my understanding of why by answering your original post…

Guys and girls see the world very differently.

We talk about abundance and scarcity…the average guy sees female company as a scarcity the average sees male attention in abundance. The laws of economics therefore mean that a guy values female attention much higher than the woman values male attention.

There is a phrase - cutting your nose off to spite your face…I think thaat applies in this situation, a guy at a bar, he wants sex, now there is a certain standard of woman that he feels he deserves and a level that he aspires too, then there are women that are less than his standards, no the average guy has trouble picking up a girl who is equal in standard to him (especially for a ‘one nighter’) let alone a girl with higher value. So he is face with going home alone again and jerking off to the internet OR he has the opportunity to take home a girl who is a lower standard than he is worth but at least he is getting some.

Added to that I think alcohol has a lot to answer for!!!

thank you for producing another point of view.
i am satisfied
also, i would like to say i did enjoy the addition of that test

I remember reading an experiment in the paper. they took two people, and gave £10 to one person to keep, on the condition that he offered a percentage (of their choice) to the other person to have and the other person agreed to this immediately.

it put all that in perspective nicely.

[Lor]

@thomaslavoie

I can explain. Perhaps this will seem shallow, insulting, nasty. I will tell the truth that guys won’t admit but is true. Many young males around my age, 18, see 2 categories of women. “Wives” and “cum dumpsters”. My friends and I all agree, you will either see a chick and say “RAWR, i want to fuck the shit out of her (the males genes are thinking: I will run away after sex and let her raise the child)” or, “wow, what a beauty, i want her for a long term relationship, i feel in love (the males genes are also thinking:I want to get to know her to see if i can have a large family or find another candidate for raising my family )”. The conclusion is that the male mind wants to get as many women pregnant and then settle down with a strong female and have some more children that have a higher chance of survival and will be healthier. So a males standars are low until he wants to find a wife. Before that, he doesn’t care, he just wants to fuck all that moves. He will not fuck terribly ugly chicks for fear of social pressures from other males though.

With the arival of the condom, the “cum dumpster” way of reproduction is gone. I would already be a father!

just one more reason women are becomming increasingly more attractive to me.
thank you for adressing my post thomas. always a unique point of view

[Lor]

@Gem

Just to add, I think the ‘cum dumpster’ mentality (and the word) is disgusting, you can sum up my three things I look for in a woman with one word “self respect” (OK i know that is two words) Any girl that is a potential cum dumpster doesn have slef respect and is a no way in my book

your my hero
thanks to you and sigma for adding that. hope after all.

[Matthew1982ct]

“cum dumpster” that’s quite a little phrase. hasn’t come to this part of the world yet. we don’t really use the word dumpster; but “bin”. And that wouldn’t work.

yeah self-respect is a fundamental quality. So Gem do you have a website and that? Audio tapes?

Matt

[Gegogi]

I like women that can rip on the guitar. Well, not necessarily hurl musical nats, but play expressively. I’m a sucker for it every time. Makes my knees weak but ma willie like the Rock of Gibraltar!

[Richelieu]

@sleekll

Or guys that say they prefer short girls, are you just afraid to look one eye to eye and need to have a greater physical presence? Let alone look ‘up’ at a female? I would never say I prefer any height on a girl, I judge each one individually. I really don’t understand a lot of other men in what they look for in a women…it seems like some generate a lot of preferences to cover up their own flaws…even if that was the case they’d never admit to it so I guess its a moot point.

I look into everyones eyes regardless of height, I just prefer shorter girls

[Gem]

@sleekll

I really don’t understand a lot of other men in what they look for in a women…it seems like some generate a lot of preferences to cover up their own flaws…even if that was the case they’d never admit to it so I guess its a moot point.

Of course that is exactly spot on.

Your whole reason for living is to pass on your DNA,

You want to create the most genetically/emotionally perfect offspring that you can…that is the foundation of all attraction.

You will always be attracted to partners that have characteristics, that counter your own flaws to try and reduce their impact on your potential offspring.

[sigma]

@Gegogi

I like women that can rip on the guitar. Well, not necessarily hurl musical nats, but play expressively. I’m a sucker for it every time. Makes my knees weak but ma willie like the Rock of Gibraltar!

I’m a sucker for musically inclined women…specially those that can sing.

[Muse]

@toilofday

This one girl I took out on a date. She looked fenominal. 8-9/10 on looks, 8/10 on fashion, ect. The problem was I felt like I was talking to Special Ed. (that’s rather insensitive, sorry) I just couldn’t take it. She could spell the word “the”, but I couldn’t say much without it being over her head. I don’t know how you do it man, but props to you. I felt bad, she had everything any guy would want, I never called her back, and I can never go back to the hair place she works at. AAHHHHHH! lol

This coming from a guy that spells phenomenal with an “f” (LMAO)

[Phoenix]

@sleekll

Yeah, shy girls are a nightmare. I’ve dated quite a few. They’ve all proven to be very unattractive with too many character flaws in the end. IMO they are quiet because they are afraid of exposing their flaws, and because of that never get to work on them. Never growing as a person. I have nothing good to say about shy girls. No good communicating, no good connections…I guess if you want a girl not to talk back to you or just to have a quiet low key (boring) marriage your whole life that’s cool. Or guys that say they prefer short girls, are you just afraid to look one eye to eye and need to have a greater physical presence? Let alone look ‘up’ at a female? I would never say I prefer any height on a girl, I judge each one individually. I really don’t understand a lot of other men in what they look for in a women…it seems like some generate a lot of preferences to cover up their own flaws…even if that was the case they’d never admit to it so I guess its a moot point.

I’m with you on this.. communication, good communication, is essential as are shared values (for me,seeking a long-term relationship that is).

[Mak]

I would say, I always see the look in a woman’s eyes. Look at hers, don’t stare, just look now and then.

This is how I find how she feels, thinks, and telling me back.

All other apprearnces can be polished a little to a specific purpose, to great skills, but what women think their strength is, their eyes, is so much their telling.

[catlord17]

Three things I like when I first notice a lady are:

1. Intelligence.
2. Comfortable with herself.
3. Positive attitude.

Oh hell, I don’t know… there’s so many things I consider.