So I joined this forum to get a boost in life and with the ladies. Recently, I’ve been reading David D and Neil Strauss but there techniques seem to take a while to learn. I also noticed PUA from users on this site, and I ordered Gambler’s book “Art of Natural Seduction” so I just wanted to ask the experienced users the simple questions of what they think the best book out there is that can help anyone be more successful with women.
Other than that I have some basics concepts down that I used to not do that I think will help such as
Avoiding compliments and buying gifts
Showing interest very soon and early
Being to nice
If anyone else can summarize what worked for them too, it would be much appreciated
David D and Niel Strauss are two different schools of Pickup. I’d suggest Niels stuff for beginners since it’s really technique (how to drive) where as David D is more inner game theory (why the car works the way it does)
Strauss has a 30 day challenge for people that he claims will get you a date in 30 days. I don’t know about a guaranteed date but you WILL learn the basics of the game in quick bite sized steps in fairly short amount of time.
My best advice is don’t collect too many books from too many guys at once, they all have their own styles and theories and they all think their way is better than the next guys. The best thing to do is start with one, read it, study it, and then put it into practice. Figure what works about it and what doesn’t, then learn some other guys teachings, see where they agree and disagree.
Personally I base my whole game on the basic Mystery Method model. But I’ve taken techniques and strategies from almost a dozen other guys and figured where in the M3 model those techniques are best applied.
EX: Vin Dicarlo has something called “objection game” this is a series of techniques to bypass the most common objections a woman might have about having sex. Well obviously addressing those issues during forplay or after she’s already displayed LMR would only seem like begging for sex so they all need to be addressed beforehand during the attraction and comfort phases.
One objection is the obsessive fear, basically the fear that if she goes out with you or has sex, that you’ll become an obsessed stalker type that assumes too much about the occurrence. The defense for this is to flip it on her and assume that SHE’s the type that might become obsessed with you and then half jokingly call her on it.
“Oh man I think we need to slow down, you’re too much of a nice girl, I bet you’re the type that would light up my phone at all hours for weeks if we went on just one date!”
Now you displayed the same concern she might be having, so it’s unlikely that you’re that type of guy. This also is a sort of DHV/IOD so it’s best used during the A2 phase of the model…see what I mean? two different schools of thought but pieced together in a way that makes it work best for me.
For myself yeah, it’s basic and simple. The whole “canned routines” criticism is overblown imo. The guys I’ve coached never use Mystery’s actual lines or stories. I DO use comfort techniques like the cube, or ring finger sometimes for fun but the M3 model is like Ammo, simple and versatile.
I have one of David D’s books and I have read his e-mails and it is more inner game centric. There are some techniques (like cocky/funny), but as far as I know he doesn’t talk about things like kino or escalation or any of that stuff letting you figure it out on your own.
I don’t know much about Niel Strauss except for this clip:
My favorite part is how he tells Jessica Alba how he didn’t learn “talk show game” and then he goes right into it!
David D’s techniques seem to apply some social situations and topics that dont always come up. What is kino or escalation? Any other technqiues or general rules of thumb experienced ppl in this forum can offer me, best wishes
Kino Escalation is touch, this is pretty important because say you meet the girl and things are looking good and suddenly you go for a kiss and it feels like there’s pressure, or the moment is awkward. You want that first kiss to feel smooth, like it’s just natural. But you haven’t had any physical contact with the girl leading up to that point.
You want to slowly and gradually over the course of the interaction touch her…first in innocent and harmless ways that seem natural, a high five, putting your hand on her shoulder when you make a point during a conversation etc and gradually escalate it to more friendly…an innocent hug when she says something you like or is funny, and then more romantic, leading her by the small of her back as you walk her to a different location etc. Eventually your touch should feel natural to her, doing this communicates that you’re a physical and sexual male…this way when you go for the kiss she doesn’t pull away shocked because she spent the whole night thinking she just made a great gay guy friend.
From my personal experience, it is true! There is a VALID reason why some of these guys tell you to go from a simple hand touching to -> hair -> shoulder -> arm, etc. Girls will freak out if you suddenly kiss her, unless she REALLY likes you. Seriously. Guess what happens afterward: You will get ignored BIG TIME. Anywhere from a month to a year, lol
I got passed it though… secret ? i went after a another girl and let that other girl BLATANTLY see it. Also, I just acted like nothing really happened in the past - like whatever. After awhile, she developed attraction for me, lol
Good opinions here, but to me at least the whole PUA thing is some good marketing shit. Agreed, all those dudes have a point but hey, what they are telling you is what your grandpa hasn’t told you because of whatever (because mummy always wants his boy to be a nice guy… in every culture, and daddy might be too busy waving his dick outta home so not engaging as “family image” factor applies… only grandpa saves the ship)
The only thing that will save the day is your INNER GAME. Only when you get your shit packed you can take on the world, and that’s not only dates/LTRs but also the worksphere. No canned PU line will help you if your not comfortable in your own skin, even more, if at any point you cannot see yourself in a mirror and say “I really like to be that guy.”
So, in a nutshell, work-out your inner game. That’s all you need. PUAs are quick fixes that don’t solve the core; it’s like taking aspirins to beat a cancer. The inner game route is longer, paved with failure, but hell a lot more rewarding and it STAYS WITH YOU.
Interesting, I value all of your opinions because I think a lot of you are older than me, and this is an are where (sadly) I am not very experienced. How would I go about improving my inner game? Does this include things like developing a strong voice tone (Strauss and David D talk about this), does this include body langauge as well? Thank all of you for the input, I know I can do this!
Inner Game is really more of a mindset than anything else. If your inner game is solid the rest comes naturally…at least that’s what inner game advocates say. But as I’ve said before Inner Game ultimately =Confidence/Confidence=knowing what you are capable of based off of real past results.
How many times have people gone and told you something along the lines of “just be confident”? How do you do that? Try telling a guy that’s never been on a date or kissed a gir “Just be confident…now go get the girl”. Attraction isn’t a choice and neither is confidence. I don’t know a single shy or timid guy that doesn’t wish he was more confident and assertive. Confidence is like a table, and a table needs legs to stand on. The more success you have, the more your confidence and inner game will improve. Think of it like training wheels. You start off relying on them to get you through. But then as you get better you stop using them but are always aware that they’re there when you “need” them. Eventually they come off and you just ride naturally.
Thanks I appreciate the feedback, and yes I have heard that saying many times. But how exactly do you be more confident and assertive? Sadly, I am that kind of guy you were talking about . However, I have been successful with other areas of my life for my young age (21) going to college, earning two degrees, working various jobs and have developed a vast number of friends.
So, I recently said to myself “I can do this if I try, and I’m not going to let what people said about me in the past ruin my chance for success in the future”. So, how could I get my “training wheels”
Sometimes, confidence comes with much life experiences and achievements. I have become MUCH MORE confident since my undergraduate days, and I believe I will continue to get better in many other aspects as well. (not just in the confidence department).
It is not something you can buy or learn overnight. Yeah, you can fake it till you make it, but when the pressure starts cooking, fakers tend to fall flat. Just be patient and continue to improve yourselves. Things should just fall in place
I’ve read so many PUA books and personally I think
General: Double your Dating is the best general one you should start with just that for a while and I like Attraction code too.
Sex: Anything by David Shade/Daniel Rose and if you want to learn with video which is better but more expensive watch Two girls teach sex.
Types of girls: Vin Dicarlo Pandoras Box teaches you about the types of woman and how to get them it also has a quiz to help you find out which a certain girl is.
Motivation: Neil Strauss 30 day challange will help kick you into actually doing something.
Pickup Lines: Learn the BradP horse girl pickup line it’s just amazing how effective and fun it is I don’t like his other stuff that much though and Neil Strauss is awesome.
Texting: Love Systems or David Wygant
Social Circle: Conquer your Campus
Approaching: Art of Approaching seems good.
Here. The secret to being good with women is to know that you already are. Look up Bobby Rio and check his stuff. Also make sure to address text game.I have gotten girls to go from friends to near stalkers that love every part of me. Christian Hudson has some good stuff too.
True that, you can get pretty much all of this with torrents btw.
And Rad i’ve used most of them and the ones I haven’t I’ve seen good reviews about and are by people I know to be helpful.
. However, I have been successful with other areas of my life for my young age (21) going to college, earning two degrees, working various jobs and have developed a vast number of friends.
