On new year’s eve I had my heart & pride crushed by my supposed BFF. He had asked me to join him and his friend at a new year’s party but they did not turn up. Instead they celebrated new year under the sheet at his home and left me standing in some stranger’s house with people I have never met.
I tried calling him but he never picked up the phone texting me 3 hours later that he was late. But I was so upset I left. He has not even bothered apologising or tried to contact me. A few days ago I emailed him, telling him what he did was not right and that he had broken my heart. He just replied with a nasty message.
Anyway, I have severed all communications with him as I am not his doormat. I have never asked anything of him and never relied on him for anything. He is one selfish conceited MF. All I have been to him is a good friend who had always been there when he needed me. There are so many things I could do to make him pay but I do not want to venture down that path. I just hope one day I will be given the chance to hurt him as much as he has hurt me and others.
I am however still hurting. I did have feelings for him. I have been trying TAA, IShine and p74 to cheer me up but it does not seem to be working? Is there anything else I can do?
Unfortunately for feelings like these, pheromones aren’t enough.
We’ve all been there before, and as much as it hurts now, you have to just push through it and get through those feelings. If you need to take a couple of days to recover and let all the emotions out, then do it. Just be truthful to yourself and don’t hold anything in. After the first couple of days, you gotta saddle back up, it’ll hurt and suck, but you can’t keep yourself down you know. He’s out living his life, you gotta go out and live yours.
Don’t make someone a priority when you’re an option, you need to believe you’re better than that.
What he did was definitely rude and inconsiderate. I am not excusing what he has done especially because I dont know what you said to him in the email or what nasty things he has said to you in response but being best friends with someone of the opposite sex can be difficult especially for men. There has to be boundaries. Believe me I know my BFF is male. My husband has no problem with it because he trusts me and I set boundaries but Greg’s girlfriends have had problems with it once in a while and can make his life difficult because of it.
Sometimes its easier to step back and ask yourself what would you do if one of your GF’s did the same thing to you ? She made plans with you but met a guy and got lucky on New Years. You would be pissed for her rudeness but would your heart be broken ?
No you dont, you care for him because if you didnt you wouldn’t still be hurting.
Pheromonally no there is nothing you can do. What you can do though is forgive him. I dont mean go on with your friendship as it was but try to understand and accept his choice. There can be many reasons your paths have to separate now. Maybe his GF (I assume its a girl he slept with) is giving him flack about your friendship or maybe he or she is picking up on your deeper feelings for him.
Time and forgiveness is the only thing that will heal the hurt.
One of my favorite quotes I have hanging over my computer is
“Forgiving is like freeing a prisoner and finding out the prisoner was you”
Thank you guys for your advise. I had read somewhere that there was in existence a Happy Pheromone of sort. I was hoping that TAA or IS had happy pheromones. I hv actually just received my order of IShine 2x.
Tisha, if a girlfriend of mine did what he did to me (esp one that I have helped and supported), I would drop her as a friend. I would be just as angry but I guess it would not have hurt as much.
Anyway, hee has made his choice. I guess I just have to soldier on and vent my anger by taking a bat and hitting a bag at the gym. I just hate feeling miserable but I guess I just have to decide to stop being miserable esp when as per P51’s comment, he is out enjoying himself.
Your right we get to choose what we feel and all you need to do is stop feeling miserable. I know thats hard though so take a few swings at the bag at the gym it will help release some of the energy and make it easier.
Also think of this… Perhaps your paths need to separate for your benefit not for his. Your focus may be to much on helping and supporting him and its time to focus on what you want and need. Maybe your friendship with him is distracting you from finding someone special who is waiting to help and support you. He could be standing right there in front of you just need change your focus. The universe has a weird way of aligning things and sometimes we need to give something up to get what we truly desire.
As far as happy pheromones TAA seems to be the one.
I’m sorry Tomboy. That really sucks. Give him a few weeks, he will probably come back trying to get back with you. By then you will have had time to reflect on the relationship and you will have the satisfaction that he wants you back, but can’t have you anymore. In the meantime, take this time and the emotional energy and turn it into a positive as best as you can. You mentioned p74 to help cheer you up. I don’t know how you respond to p74, but I wouldn’t use it at a time like this. It’s a great pheromone that sometimes makes me feel very loving. There was this guy I used to like and I decided not to talk to him anymore. I saw him a few weeks later while wearing p74, and I got teary eyed because I still had feelings for him. I don’t know of any mones available in the store right now that can help you with the thoughts that bring on the emotions. Do a search on p103, I thought I read that it can help you not to care about things that stress you. Next time he pops back into your mind and you start to feel emotional, just think about him picking his nose or wiping himself. That should really turn you off.
I figured you received enough good advice already so I wasn’t going to say anything.
With me personally I have had a good amount of heart aches and did not deal with some or it didn’t hurt me that much because of the nature of the relationship I was able to move on very easily.
I agree with P. I had some doubts about my b/fs relationship with girls and when I called my friend Kim who is quite a realist she made me feel so much better.
One of the things she reminded me of is my goals for myself and not getting side tracked because even of a hurt. Life will move on even if you don’t.
As Tisha said there should be boundaries and if you are in a good relationship with someone you should be able to talk to them about what’s bothering you and they will take it into consideration.
It’s been a while since I seen you reply. How are you doing ? The pheromones will not make the situation better but I find that using mones to make me feel confident , sexy while I am going through boy troubles is helpful just so I can make it through the day until the nasty old boy with cooties gets out of my system.
That should really turn you off.