Women,
Is the old adage nice guys finish last really true or is it a misnomer? What are you looking for in an ideal mate?
IMO the typical “nice guy” isn’t very sexualy agressive and in addition can be a pushover.
Look at why you would consider them to be nice. Do they do things for you that other people wouldn’t? Do they agree with you almost all the time? Do they sit around and sympathise with you? Are they overly generous? Would go to far out of the way to assist you for things you may not realy need assistance with?
This person is your AFC. Sexualy/emotionaly frustrated, and goes to extremes to get a girl to like him.
All of those things can create a “nice guy” and most likely they will finish last. That person is portraying themselves as weak in a relationship stance.
Conversly the guy who dislays their sexuality, has a strong character, and is a gentleman/or not. This person is not a pushover and has strong boundries.
This person tends to be your alpha male who can swoon almost any female he wants.
Then there is an inbetween. The Gentleman who is not as sexualy agressive as most. This preson seem to take it slow, and not be agressive towards sex, but this doesn’t lessen their desire. It’s just not worn on the sleeve. If a lady shows personality based and sexualy based interest, then this middleman will open up the more reserved part of their person.
This male can be seen as a “nice guy” and often is seen this way; but he is not a pushover. There is a difference between magnanimty and being a pushover. One is a way of the life, and the other is a weakness.
There are women who find very strong connections with such a guy and form lasting relationships, but this male tends to be passed up for Mr Alpha more than not.
That’s my theory. Obviously there would be ranges in between the extremes shifting from pushover to player.
Do nice guys finish last? That depends on what kind of nice guy you are, but most likely Yes.
DO nice guys really…March 23rd, 2007 01:49 AM Yep..You R A real dick
2 points. High roller…
Hey, thanks!
I value your opinion. Have a nice day.
After the age of about 35 most women want a nice reliable beta-male to settle down with.
That when the nice guys come into their own.
lmao
i didn’t see anything remotely “dick-ish” in what you said. matter of fact, i think it’s right on target. there’s being a pushover - not sexy, and being a gentleman - the boundary-setting distinguishes the two, i think.
when i was in highschool, this guy that i considered my best friend, eventually tried to date me.
while in highschool, i didnt have the esteem that i did shortly after, so i decided i needed many opinions as to how fab i was.
i was not “physically” inclined in my dates, but i dated ALOT.
my personal opinion is that alot of people that fall into the arena of dating as much as they can are still looking for vaidation.
sometimes that never ends, and its all good. 
2 years later i decided i deserved a nice guy, and began to date the nice guy.( iwas 21?)
we were together for 14 years, every year being a crazy adventure, because we were crazy seperately- meaning we moved alot, explored alot,experienced life instead of eventually settling with someone later on that learned life with several other partners.
im not knocking falling in love later on in life, im only saying that im pleased with my choice to find someone to discover new stuff together with, rather than spreading those experiences thinly with many people.
neither way is less-than, just different.
For a second I thought someone pm’d that I was a real dick. Ha Ha that was funny. Good replies though. I know in the past i was shy and conservative. I grew up seemingly always around women. Mom, big sis, cousins , sis friends. Always even now seems that Im always the only man in a group of 4 or 5 women. I seem to always be the considerate protector type. Ready to battle anyone who threatens anyone who is “in my care”. But I don’t see myself as a pushover especially as I get older and am pushing my own proverbial envelope. I still have that considerate protector mentality though
nice: see also clueless, naive; harmless, unsophisticated, simple; attempting to be pleasing; agreeable, courteous, polite; having no firm ground, undistinguished, bland.
from Old French, from Latin nescius, ignorant, from nesc
re, to be ignorant ; see nescience
I’ve learned to never try for nice; it sometimes happens that what I do is (or is perceived to be) nice, but that’s an accident.
I hear people use the word nice in two ways:
- In the senses of the dictionary definition and synonyms above, as a left-handed compliment, or as a very minor dismissive remark – “Well, I suppose s/he’s nice enough, but …”
- Borrowed meaning of nice attached to a sense of virtuousness: “S/he’s a really, really, really nice person, through and through.”
I suppose you can turn most of the dictionary terms above around to get this second sense: innocent, seeing with fresh eyes, trusting and trustable, genuinely unopinionated, …
Most of the time, when I hear the word used in the second sense … no, virtually all of the time, it’s said by a girl (or by a very young, feminine gay guy.)
When I hear someone use “nice” in casual conversation, I am reminded of the motto “If you can’t say something nice about a person, don’t say anything at all.” So, I wonder if the reason they are saying so-and-so is “nice” is because they can’t thing of anything in particular that they appreciate about that person, and they are just following the “nice” rule.
In one sense, perhaps the issue is not whether nice guys actually finish last, but whether anyone other than a nice guy cares? That’s a harsh way to reframe the question, I know. But, if you don’t value anything enough to be able to strive for it, to take a stand, be wiling to enter into conflict … then why should others give their attention to the outcome?
Meh, long tangent above perhaps distracting, perhaps giving good background, no matter, here is the payoff:
Maybe nice is a sexually dimorphic term, i.e., girls really do use it differently than guys do.
That might be a consideration when women answer your question.
Good Q, BTW. I’ll be interested in responses too.
‘Nice’ – No game at all. Doesn’t go for what he wants. Not confident in himself.
‘Jerk’ – Too much game. Thinks he deserves your attention without having to work for it. Overconfident.
‘Sexy’ – Confident that he would be good for you, and does what he can to prove it. Not desperate, clingy, or mean. Goes right in and get what he wants, but backs off as soon as she says no. Gives the massage that, “I’m here if you want me, and I would be so good for you, but you might lose your chance if you don’t make up your mind.”
And I want sexy.
xoxo
jp
word. sexy rocks.
If by “nice,” you mean obsequious or spineless, then yes.
But you can be nice without being an invertebrate.
I love that you just used obsequious in a sentence. And now everyone knows I’m a closet geek. 
xoxo
jp
i like you. for the same reason jpballerina likes you. way to use SAT words!
I agree Holmes…it all depends on how you define the term “nice”…
id think possessing the best qualities of each would be best.
Lots of words seem to have sexually dimorphic connotations. Guys’ hearts sink when we say they’re nice, cute, adorable … it’s not putting you in a box, guys. You can be cute AND sexy! and nice … we realize you have many facets.
PS - Mr. Holmes, it’s a pleasure to see you on board 
Carrie (aka silksand)
for me, nice issss sexxay.
theres no posturing.
theres no “gee i want to be nice but what will they think?”
theres no “they will mistake kindness for weakness”
nice to me is the ultimate manly quality, it says to me that there is zero fear of mis-interpretation; there is zero fear in how another may view you; and there is zero fear of someone trying to take advantage of you.
nice to me is a serious lack of fear,ego,insecurity,and inadequacy.
i dont expect alot of people to agree, because well, social conciousness,ya know?
if i agree with her, how will i look? 
Nail on the head again, Lor…
Yet, even though they are nice, they also need to be willing to stand up for themselves…don’t you think?
Wow, I hope not.
Yeah I agree dolly and Lor.
Nice is great but nice does not mean walked over. Assertive confidence while genuine is being nice to yourself. Self destructive behavior is not nice to yourself therefore not nice to anyone else. By being so nice and willing to do for others that you don’t do for yourself than the niceness is disingenuous therefore it cannot be a true nice.