Elixxxer, this blog is very raw and honest.
One way you can resolve your feelings around your ex is to simply “hold the issue in mind” while going for a long walk (around 30 minutes to 45 minutes or so). The walking stimulates both sides of the brain in alternation, which is very effective for helping to resolve emotional issues. I do it myself, it works wonders. The book “Walking Your Blues Away” has more detail on it.
tezza23, sorry for the late response, I haven’t had a chance to get on the computer in the past few days. I Googled the book and read some reviews on it and they are all very high. I appreciate your recommendation and will certainly look in to buying it soon. Also thank you for reading my journal. I feel more inclined to update it when I receive feedback. 
Depression
It’s affecting all areas of my life. I haven’t been posting on here, or doing anything else for that matter. I even find it difficult to get out of bed and go to work. I’m still using my pheromones (keep this journal on topic here) and here are a summary of my experiences lately.
Ex-boyfriend (Boyfriend?) Jay’s moods flip flop from one personality to another. No matter how kind I am to him, he challenges me emotionally. Brings up his summer flings (which I’m trying to forget) reminds me how bad marriage and commitment is, constantly judges other people’s appearances which in turn makes me feel very self-conscious. Many times I don’t feel loved, I don’t feel happy, I don’t feel any security. I’ve been with him for over 5 years, but I am afraid to leave him. I have been experimenting with different combos to try and make his company more enjoyable, but maybe I’m OD’ing and getting the worst of his personality. I’m frustrated. This is one of the causes of my depression. However, when things are good it’s amazing. I feel like he is the only person who understands me and who I can relate with. And I know when that feeling arrives it’s a mutual one. If it weren’t for these moments I wouldn’t feel so conflicted. I would have been gone a long time ago. That is how good our connection can be.
I injured my back working out which caused my 6x a week workouts diminish completely. In turn I abandoned my healthy way of eating (emotional eating) and the consequences were severe. I don’t have the same body I had a few short months ago. Insecurity has taken over, as it is a noticeable change. I almost feel like I’m wasting my pheromones because I feel so horrible about myself that it doesn’t matter anyway.
Christmas is around the corner and most people are excited and feeling festive. I on the other hand, need to snap out of this and join them. I felt like getting this off of my chest, as I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. So, my apologies if this completely off topic to pheromones.
I don’t think an apology is necessary. It is very brave of you to be so open about what’s going on in your life, and to articulate it in such great detail.
Thru your previous posts in this thread I gather your are well liked, loved and gifted perhaps you can take stock in that. May good health be yours again soon.
wow nice journal. found it after searching the forum for liquid sunshine which i’ve just purchased for some girlfriends and maybe even myself. thanks for adding this and rep to you for the effort.