My chemical love story

Hello everyone!

First of all I’d like to thank everyone who have ever posted something useful to this forum, as well as you people working at AD and making all of this magic possible for us!
I’m truly impressed by the amount of information and the expertise of many of you reading this. I know you recognize yourselves! I hope I’m able to give back to the community some day.

I can imagine and understand it’s not an easy task to figure out what different pheromone molecules and combinations do, and I’m amazed by the details you guys and gals are able to figure out by meticulously analyzing people’s subtle behavior and reporting it for the rest of us.
Thank you so much for this work you have done for newbies like myself coming to this forum looking for help for whatever problem they have or simply looking to enhance their lives with pheromones!

I’ve spent hours and hours reading and learning about everything there’s to pheromones, peoples’ experiences, reports, everything. The more I read the more fascinating all of this gets. I think I’m going to stay here for a good while, learning and experiencing myself! :slight_smile:

Now, to the point:
I decided to start a journal to keep up with the things I experience exploring the world of pheromones. Maybe some of the experiences will help someone else some day, or maybe you reading this simply find it interesting to find out how I’m doing with my quest of getting back my ex, the only woman I’ve ever loved in my 33 years of lived life, or the things that I experience while hoping for that miracle to happen.
Already the first day of using pheromones was so unexpected and eventful I’m kind of scared what will happen when I really get a grasp of what I’m doing with these magic potions. :smiley:

My determination of getting her back, no matter what it takes, was the reason I had a peek to the world of pheromones and found this wonderful forum and all you helpful and amazing people.
For those of you who would like to know more about me, Her, our past and generally why I’m here, have a look at my extensive introduction at

Much of the past is covered there. This journal is for future events and experiences.

Feel free to comment! I’d very much like to get useful tips and perspective to everything I’m doing, as well as help to my quest to win Her back to my life. Any questions are very welcome as well!

Let the journey begin.

-AT

Day 1, (friday): With great power comes a great responsibility

Today the DHL guy brought me an anxiously waited package. Luckily it arrived just before the weekend. After all I’ve read of pheromones I couldn’t wait to get to try them out myself and see if they really do everything I had read!

I had ordered myself a set of to go -bottles of IO, IH, IS, IJ, Ammo, summer Ammo, TUTH and P74, as well as A314 oil and a 30ml bottle of IS, since they seemed like the foundation of every combination I had liked.
Thank you to AD for upgrading my to go-IS to 2x for free. I have found it’s probably much more useful than the regular strength.

As soon as the delivery guy handed me the package, I could already smell something was not right. I had read some people had their to go -bottles leaked and guessed right away that was the case here as well. The delivery guy was overly friendly and stayed for a chat for a few minutes. Later I wondered if he had sniffed the fumes or what was that about. :smiley:

Sure enough, as I opened the packet, 4 of the 8 to go -bottles had leaked and the scent was overbearing. I cleaned the up the bottles and inspected the damage. I estimated I had lost 5-6ml of the good stuff combined, which was not that bad since these were just for testing if the stuff really works.
I sent a mail to AD telling what had happened and got a quick response and a generous compensation for the lost goods. Thank you for the truly outstanding customer service! Greatly appreciated!

Later that night I got an invitation to a pub for a beer with 2 friends (man and woman, a couple, mid-20s) and thought it was an excellent time to try out the power of my new potions with a hefty start!
I sprayed on:
2x IS (1 spray of 2xIS) (under chin)
1x IO (throat)
2x IH (neck under ears)
2x summer Ammo (wrists)

The smell was stronger than I had expected. I’m not a perfume/cologne using guy and thought they would ask me why I was wearing some. They didn’t though. Decided to get some cover scent in case someone asks me what I’m wearing…

Didn’t notice any obvious self-effects.

Everything I’m going to write about that night’s events could have happened regardless of the mones, but some of it was so unusual I have to say it indeed was the pheros.

So, at the pub I paid close attention to the friends’ behavior, as well as other people around me. We were sitting at a quiet corner though, so not many people were around. The whole night I didn’t catch anything unusual from unknown people. As for my friends, first everything seemed just ordinary. I expected to see some shine from IS, but didn’t really notice any until after a couple beers, and attributed most of the new happiness to alcohol. Didn’t seem out of the ordinary.
Talking was however more relaxed for all of us. He talked more than usual and told about his coworkers’ matters, which he had never done before. She was mostly quiet, like she usually is, but still seemed more open. The pheros didn’t seem to affect her so much, though I saw her glancing me from time to time in quite a peculiar manner.

After a few beers we decided to head to my place to watch some movies and get a few more beers.
So, there we sat on a couch watching a movie. She was sitting between us guys and leaning against her buddy. Soon she lifted her feet on my lap.
(Here it should be noted it’s not unusual and she has done that many times before. She likes to relax and be comfortable. It also should be mentioned we have playfully fooled around before even in somewhat erotic manner, but it has all been in front of him and more or less accepted, since he knows I’m a friend and in any case not a threat to their relationship.)
After some time she begins caressing my back, pressing my lap with her feet and fondling me in secret, all the while she’s leaning against him. Now that was not so usual…

The night goes on like this, she gives me “attention” while we’re watching the movie, talking and commenting in a casual manner, all in good moods. Whenever he leaves the room for a cigarette or bathroom break, she fondles me even more aggressively, but not saying anything, just looking. I don’t say anything either. After a while I caress her back a bit.
As the night continues and more beers are consumed things get even more erotically charged…

I decide to try out another one of my new potions and spray 1x TUTH on my chest during bathroom break just out of curiosity to see what will happen.
When I come back to the couch, she stops the fondling altogether. Instead she’s wiping her face with her hand in a manner I take as a signal she’s thinking something like “Oh god, what am I doing? What am I thinking? I can’t do this!”
He gets clearly more irritated, without any aggravation. He’s snapping at me and at her bluntly. Could have been the alcohol again, but it’s not like him at all to act like that unless very drunk. He even called her a slut once (never happens), which was (surprise, surprise…) not so well received by her. I’m sure he hadn’t noticed she was playing with me, as one of them would have said something so that couldn’t have been the reason.

After a while she starts caressing me again, much less now than before TUTHing though. When he has a break, she whispers to me “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but would you like to see me alone next weekend when he’s out of town?” I tell her she has my number.
End of the night was nearing and nothing more special didn’t happen that night, except he was grumpy until the end.


That night I learned the pheromones really do work. While it all could have been coincidental, I really don’t think so. Everything fits so well to the description of different pheros I’ve read here. IH seemed to do its work at the pub, maybe with a bit of help from IO, though we talk openly already anyway.
Summer ammo definitely was in work in her nose, leading to an unexpected interest in my grotch. When TUTH was introduced, it really had an effect like I had whipped out my cock in front of her. She wanted it and he became pissed at the situation, even without knowing what’s happening. Everything was straight from the textbook.
The only thing I didn’t really notice was the IS, even in terms of self-effect. There might have been an effect, but it was lost in the shine of alcohol.

An interesting night altogether and an awesome first pheromone experience! These molecules really have much power in them, much more than I had expected! Really looking forward what can be accomplished with different combinations and with unknown people.

Lastly, I feel like I should mention here I’m not going to see her next weekend, or if I am, it’s not going to be more than a beer and telling her it’s not worth it.
I’ve been down that road and it really isn’t worth it. Sure I’d love having her for a night and I’m sure it would be awesome and passionate night, but its cost is too great in terms of guilt and possible heartbreak. They both are my friends and I’m not going to ruin any more friendships and relationships just to make my cock happy for a while.

With great power comes a great responsibility.

-AT

Great report and good for you to back away from your friend’s girl. You don’t want that kind of negative karma on yourself.

How are things going with getting back your ex?

Hi everyone!

It’s been a long journey since the last entry.
I would like to say I’ve been too busy to update my journal but given it’s been almost 4 months, I’ll just say I’ve been lazy… Sorry about that. :o
I’ve been keeping notes of the important happenings between me and her, so what I’ll try to do now is recap the stuff that matters and get this journal up to date. On the other hand, thinking back the past events, I’m able to get more insight and maybe add some commentary or something… Let’s see where this thing goes!

Seriously, it also has been a busy time in my life.
So much has happened during these months. If I say I’ve killed my old self, I’m not exaggerating all that much. It was a suicide, one of a good kind.
If only I had known what I know now, if only I had been the person I’m now when I was still together with the woman of my life I dare say we would still be together. Looking back, I’m ashamed, sad and feel pity for the boy I used to be. I just wish I had begun improving myself years ago…
Having said that, many years have been lost but I know I’m only at the beginning of the rest of my life as the man and have a lot of growing to do, but I’m off to a good start!

Do I have your interest? Good.

What exactly has happened during these few months? What am I babbling on about? Why do I say I killed myself? What has changed?
Let’s see…


My last journal post was on January 23rd. A few days after that it was my birthday and looking back I can identify the day after my birthday being the day my old self took his death blow.

So, I had had (the excellent) advice on my introduction post I should go no-contact with her and I had been doing that for just a few days. Then she sent me just one text message, to which I politely but shortly replied. It was just to ask for some information she needed, nothing special.
I few days more and it was my birthday. She was in my town, but didn’t let me know of it.
(Of course she didn’t want to let me know, as I now realize what I had been doing, being needy, clingy, orbiting most beta (even gamma) AFC one could possibly be. I’m so ashamed and regretful…)
Instead of wanting to see me, she was spending time with her friends and her mother. I didn’t celebrate my birthday with a party or anything as I didn’t feel like it, just had coffee with family. I was hoping for a small present, congratulation text message or even something from her but it never came. I felt miserable about it.

The next day I texted her mother if I could come over for a coffee and bring some of my leftover birthday cake with me. Her mother replied she was in town and at her place and asked if I’d still wanted to come over or not.
That was the moment my old self’s death begun.
Upon reading this, something snapped in my head. My vision blurred, my heart was racing, my thoughts were racing even faster, right after they had recovered from the total blank blackness they retreated to after realizing what just had been revealed to me.

It had been my birthday. She was only a couple hundred meters from me. Still she didn’t bother as much as congratulating me, not to mention wanting to see me or letting me know she was here!
Sure, she could have forgotten. She had done it before when we still were together and she was very sorry about it back then… But what if she didn’t forget? What if she forgot? It was all the same anyway. She didn’t care enough to remember.

So, after the shock I was back in the real world. I replied her mother I’d come over after she left back home.
Her mother enjoyed the cake and told me she had asked her if she would like me to come over (before sending me the reply) and she had answered indifferently she didn’t care/mind if I did.
(Indifferently. I’ve learned over these months the opposite of love is not hate. It’s indifference.)

The next day she sent me a text message saying her mother had told her I had had a birthday, congratulated and wondered why she always forgets my birthday. She didn’t exactly apologize though. I replied saying thanks and the cake was good.

During the next week she sent me a text message citing some funny news. It’s something we used to do in the past when we were dating and afterwards. I replied her, without feeling any funnyness in my heart.


It was February.
Two weeks after deciding I’d go no-contact.
I had completely removed myself from her life. I hadn’t been online
(yes I had, I just changed my nickname so she wouldn’t find me where we used to chat) and I hadn’t texted her. It had been two weeks of no-contact and she had been trying to initiate contact with me, probably wondering why I had disappeared. Her mother told me she had been looking for me online, but I wasn’t there.
I was gone.

Meanwhile I had begun bettering myself, building the New Me. I had been reading Pherotalk and absorbing as much information as I could. I was fascinated by everything there is to pheromones and still am. Tens of hours I had studied the wonderful world of pheromones, reading about all of the different pheros out there, trying out the ones I had ordered and studying their effects on other people and myself. I was trying to figure out the perfect mix to win back my girl while enjoying my phero baptism.
I knew the pheromones alone wouldn’t help me, so I had also joined the gym and even got myself a personal trainer.
On January 14th, the last time I had seen her, she had said she didn’t miss me physically at all.
On January 15th I had a gym membership card in my pocket.
Bettering myself physically was (and is) my primary mission.

Since the end of January, I’ve been hitting the gym, training as hard as I can 3-4 times a week. Previously I thought I was in decent shape but turns out I was wrong. Just on the first meeting with my personal trainer he said “my god man, you’re all crooked!”. :open_mouth:
I knew my posture was a bit off but he made me realize how bad it actually was. I’ve been working hard and strengthening the muscles I need in order to correct my posture and it has worked wonders. My whole constitution has changed so much, as well as the way I walk and present myself, not to mention pure confidence. That change alone has made me feel so much better about myself. My new posture feels like just the perfect dose of A314 under the nose!

I’m so glad I got the personal trainer to direct my training to the right path. If I would just have started working out to build random muscle, I’d only made things worse! I have also been following a healthy diet he custom made for me. It has been one boring diet, but combined with the training, I’ve had amazing results. I hear I have good genes for bodybuilding and during 3 months I’ve gained 3kg of muscle mass while losing the same amount of fat. I’ve been able to almost double my training weights from the starting weights and even my sixpack is beginning to show! Bodyfatwise I’m ripped! :smiley:
(I’m a skinny guy so I don’t exactly need to lose fat. The 3kg is gone from around my inner organs, which is a great thing healthwise!)


This is where I leave you for now, in the beginning of February and the beginning of my new life when the old me is slowly dying and my heart is hurting bad…

In the next episode, Valentines’!
What should I do on Valentines’? What did I do on Valentines’?
The old self has taken a hit but still seems to be alive. What will happen to him? Find out in the next exciting episode!

…which I will try to write sooner than after 4 more months… :o

You have a great writing style, looking forward to more!