Feel so alone

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
1

Last week a friend from work decided to take me out drinking with her boyfriend. We have a few clubs in town so I thought this would be a good time to wear some pheros. Since clubs are usually very sexual I thought to go with 2 sprays of TUTH and 1 spray of CTTM mix. I sprayed them on my throat area. I and her boyfriend first entered the club and as soon as we did, everyone turned around and looked at the two of us. I doubt it might have been the pheros, but I can be wrong though. We all got some drinks and my friend and her boyfriend began dancing on the floor. I just sat on the table and continued to drink. Every once in a while the two would drag me to the dance floor and I danced for a little bit but after a few drinks I began to dance like it was the end of the world and only my dance moves could prevent the Armageddon. There were a few single girls in the club and I did dance with them but you could tell they were so uninterested in me. Infact when I started talking to them they went in their heads “Oh man, another weirdo”. What was funny that every girl in the club was interested in my friends boyfriend. I mean all he had to do was stand and girls just walked over to him and flirted with him. He was talking to this one girl and I decided to join in on the conversation. I asked a question since I thought it was the polite way to get into any conversation and she stopped talking to him and gave me this stare that said “God Weirdo, Piss off”. I apologized and I left.

This guy is something. I even asked him how does he do it but he said it just comes. His girlfriend wasn’t too happy with him at the end of the night but throughout the whole night I felt alone. I’m 22 and have never been in a serious relationship. In fact I’m a virgin too. I have used pheros, pua books, hypnotism you name it but I just can’t seem to get anywhere with it. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I feel alone. I hope any of you understand what I’m trying to say. Maybe I’m looking for advice or support but honestly I don’t know what I’m asking from the forum. Maybe I just wanted to get this off of me. Do reply to this post if you feel like your advice would help me and for those who would want to reply by making fun of me by calling me a 22 year old virgin, remember you are hurting a real persons self esteem and a mature person would never do anything like that.

On a more positive note; I hope 2011 brings joy and prosperity to everyone on this forum and elsewhere. I appreciate the time you took to read this

2

Your choice of pheromones could use some tweaking. I would not wear TUTH + CTTM2.

Ammo is out of stock at the moment, but it would be a great mix for clubbing. IG is another good one, especially for your age.

Really, I don’t think any pheromone boosted cologne spray is going to help you until you get your inner game sorted out.

If everybody thinks you are weird, why is that? Do you make inappropriate comments? Why do they think you are weird?

Are there places where people do not think you are weird? Coffee shops? Museums? Bookstores? Anywhere? Maybe you should spend more time in these places than in clubs.

Getting your head sorted out should be your goal for 2011. I think your friends could help you a lot with this goal.

3

Do you mean CTTM2?

Also, TUTH may make you seem predatory in your case.

Try this (trust me)

Instant Shine, Instant Gentleman, and Instant Honesty (Find your own sweet spots with these three)

4

Hi, I’m an eighteen year old, so a couple years off from you. But yeah, right now I am also a virgin. I’ve never kissed a girl or even had a girlfriend, for that matter! :slight_smile:
I suspect I’m what you’d call a “late bloomer”, in that I’ve only recently started feeling actual attraction toward women.

That said, I feel that you’re putting too much thought into this. Couple months ago, I completely fell for this girl, something that had NEVER happened before, understand. I wanted to start some sort of relationship, or at least have a date or two, but i had no idea how to do this “dating” thing!

Being a savvy guy wanting to figure things out, I turned to the pros; pickup artists, dating gurus, hypnotists. And yes, there’s a lot of great stuff you can learn, and fast! But it’s easy to overload, if you know what I mean.
You can get so caught up in the material that you WARP yourself, and are always in your head about stuff. What I’d recommend is to simplify what you’re doing, and evaluate your problems, or “sticking points”.
If you know what your problems are, you can fix them. If you can find out what your good areas are, or where an area of yourself has potential, you can IMPROVE those things!

Reading your post, I would say you could benefit tremendously from confidence-boosts, and a more positive view of yourself, and the world around you. Check out a movie/documentary called “the Secret”, and I think you will find it very eye-opening! It’s all about how our thoughts and beliefs can manifest real things, and I highly recommend viewing it at least twice.

One more suggestion: throw all that PUA technique mumbo jumbo out of your head, except for the idea of “kino escalation”, because THAT is useful. I know it’s tempting to hang on to that “NLP-infused 8-step seduction method v3”, I thought the same thing! But trust me, most of it, you really don’t need.
And don’t even touch anything that says “RSD” on it, because those guys are nuts.

Here, do this:

1: watch “the Secret” a few times, adopt that thinking.

2: David DeAngelo is your friend. All his material is GOLD, I highly recommend it all. You will attract women with very little effort once you get it. No sleazy pickup tactics, only authenticity. All you’d need to say to a woman is “Hi”, and it’s on.

3: find out where you can improve, and start improving! Got a weak voice? Vocal exercises. Awkward posture? Yoga and workouts. Bored? Try picking up an instrument! Who knows, you just might be a Jack Johnson in the making! :wink:

You’re gonna do great, we’re all cheering you on. It’s only upwards from this point. You can transcend yourself, and become your best self, or you can stay right where you are and continue to be frustrated and upset.
Are you going to make 2011 a good year? It’s your choice.

(and by the way: that girl I mentioned earlier? Yeah, SHE chases ME now.

:slight_smile:

5

Yep.. going with 2 sprays of TUTH when your inner game isn’t as its best is not the best idea out there.
Please keep TUTH aside for now to prevent further disappointment. I highly suggest you try IG or A314. Ammo is of course for clubs just like it was suggested before. IO and IH will help you get things flowing and you might be more connecting to others too. O I see you have CTTM. Forget the IO and IH for now :stuck_out_tongue:

Don’t worry about being lonely. You got the pheros by your side! :stuck_out_tongue: Just jokin. but really, if you are confident. women smell that. Have a good body language and in your mind, you’ve got to know that you are actually ‘THE TROPHY’. If a woman (SUPER HOT or not) rejects you, well guess what? it’s her loss not yours. That’s how you should think. If you think positive, people will see that and will like you. Some ISHINE will also help you a TON.

Hope that helped a lil man.

6

Noble is right, the RSD stuff I’ve read ranges from at best ridiculously over the top “bad boy” antics that will only bring drama queens into your life, to sexual aggression that borders on date rape.
David D on the other hand has a lot of solid advice on simply being a better man that builds attraction naturally.

Now going only by what I read in your post, I get a strong sense of desperation from you. Believe me women will smell that on you, they’re a lot more socially savvy than men and pick up on subtleties you and I would be oblivious to.
If you feel that sense of desperation when you approach, she’s gonna sense it and think “If he’s so desperate he must not get many girls”…then she’s gonna assume “If he can’t get girls, there must be something wrong with him”…which will lead her to wonder “if something might be wrong with him, do I really want to waste my time?”

Yeah I know, it’s a fucked up catch-22 like when you can’t get a job because you have no experience, but how can get experience without a job?

What’s worse is it can lead to an emotional snowball effect where each failed approach makes you more frustrated and the more time passes as you try to get this area of your life handled makes you think it’s some impossible task and that there might be something wrong with you (there isn’t btw)
you need to do two major things…first change your perception of this. Meeting, attracting and seducing women is actually quite easy. The population of the world was just under 4 billion when I was born, today it’s about 7 billion.
Seriously wrap your head around those numbers, BILLIONS of men are meeting and dating women every day. This isn’t meant to convince you that somethings wrong with you, but rather to point out that you have for whatever reason adopted a frame that runs contrary to the reality staring you right in the face. It’s easy and natural…so act like it is.

The second thing, which might sound contrary at first to the above advice, is…let go of outcome expectations. I’m willing to bet that when you approach a woman you have a million questions and negative self talk running around in the back of your mind.
Will she think I’m weird?
Will she find me attractive?
God I hope she likes me
I wonder if she’d actually have sex with me?
etc etc etc
All outcome based, let it all go and relax. Be in the moment instead of in your head.
Let yourself experience the other person, ask legit questions that you’d actually be interested in her answers to. Enjoy looking at her, enjoy the sound of her voice, just become very sensory and any time you start asking yourself these questions in your head…fucking stop! and get back into the moment. You’ll be surprised to find that once you let go of needing women or sex, the more you’ll find them being interested in it with you.

7

How old were you exactly when you discovered you could read peoples minds ?

The truth is you cant read minds. You were reading what your own ego was telling you. “he’s better then me, they wont like me, I’m weird” That was the voice of fear and fear usually is lying to us. Its your own protective response. If I risk nothing I cant get hurt. But the truth is you risked nothing and you still hurt dont you ? Frankly I would rather risk something and hurt then do nothing and hurt. At least you move forward and learn that way.

Is it true he is better then you ? No it is not. He is just different then you. No one person is better then another. He/she may be better at doing something but not better as a human

Is it true they wont like you ? No its not. Sure maybe they dont instantly want to jump in bed with you, maybe everyone of them wont be interested but that can be said for everyone. You have to like yourself enough to give people a chance to like you.

Are you really weird ? Probably not as weird as you believe yourself to be. Who told you weird is bad anyways ? I am weird. Seriously most people who meet me think I am weird. They will actually say it to me. I always smile and say “Thank you, your ordinary” You should see the look on there faces. Suddenly weird doesn’t seem so bad. See the difference is I like my weirdness and because I like it so do others.

Your being a virgin is neither here nor there. Every single person was one at some point and there is no time limit or exact time your supposed to get rid of it. Your not the only 22 year old virgin in the world you know. I know you feel like you are but your not. Besides no one can look at you and say "he is a virgin, unless your projecting it with your body language. There is no rule in which you need to tell anyone either if you think it will make you uncomfortable or feel nervous. I guarantee you this and Tish is always right. You wont be a virgin forever.

None of these things including pheros will help unless you work on liking yourself first. I am willing to bet the only real difference between you and your friends BF is he likes himself and naturally thinks everyone will like him as well. As he said “it just comes”. That is why it comes, not because he is special in some way. How he feels about himself comes across in his body language and in how he interacts with others. If someone rolls there eyes at him or snubs him he naturally thinks something is wrong with them not himself.

My coaching style consists of starting at the beginning. If you jump in right in the middle you set yourself up for failure. PUA tactics are the middle. You cant stop negative self talk unless someone tells you how. You can take my advice or stop reading here and continue feeling alone. You have nothing to lose though so I suggest you keep reading.

For 2011 the first thing you need to work on is liking you even the parts you think are not likable. I know some people hem and haw when affirmations are suggested but they really do work. Most people who hem and haw honestly dont do it correctly so they dont see the results and then end up saying it dosent work.

The easiest way is to write them on some index cards and start reading them every day

Use “I am” statements…

I am a great guy and people like me.

I am unique and special in every single way

I am charismatic and people want to be with me

I am hot and in demand

I am the captain of my ship.

These are just examples…Write your own but be sure they are positive. Dont write about what your not by saying “I am not weird”

You dont have to believe them you just have to keep repeating them. Every day, each one at least 10 times , 3 times a day for at least 21 days. That’s how long it takes for something to seep into the subconscious. You will probably still be nervous when you go out but those subconscious thoughts will command your body language and how you interact with others and before you know it someone will say to you. How do you do it ? and you can say… It just comes.

You can also download or listen to pre recorded one. I like Stin Hansen. Yes even coaches have a coach and I still do them a few times a week myself. You can download her stuff on Itunes and listen to it where ever if you have a MP3 player or listen to it in the background while your online messing around. Plenty of free stuff there.

My Thought Coach - Stin Hansen

If she is to girly for you then I believe catlord has a store that sells all sorts of CD’s and stuff for self esteem. Just pop him a email or PM

Next I want you to go get

http://bks3.books.google.com/books?id=9sJXPQAACAAJ&printsec=frontcover&img=1&zoom=1&sig=ACfU3U26Pci4V7IEhRobyCG8i3tofVyw5g

I give this to all my peeps. Yes you still have to do homework as a adult LOL The exercises in this book really do help people increase there self esteem.

Another good book to read

http://bks2.books.google.com/books?id=-jbe5yMY62QC&printsec=frontcover&img=1&zoom=1&sig=ACfU3U3AwbTeoHOmvXwyZk80FtyISZooWw&h=160 or http://bks6.books.google.com/books?id=fb0siR5xg68C&printsec=frontcover&img=1&zoom=1&edge=curl&sig=ACfU3U0gBKDvLPZ7c5-Wv01kFRY9G-kalw

If you go here >>>> self esteem - Google Search

You can preview a lot of the books free and see which appeals to you. These are just my favorites. Just look for the preview button next to the title of each book. I can spend all day in google books, you know why? Cause I am weird. :wink: :smiley: By the way anyone can benefit from these books even those who have good self esteem.

Next assignment >>>>> (I could give you assignments all day LOL)

I want you to write a list of all your best qualities. You do have them so dont say you dont. There can be no bad without good its a scientific fact.

I want you to hang that list next to your bed and read it every night. Dont rush through it. Take the time to think about each one.

Now I am gonna tell you what your friends boyfriend didnt tell you. How it just comes…

Now make a list of the qualities and personal goals you would like to have that you need to work on. We all have them, no one is perfect. Problem is when you look at them all lumped together in your mind they seem insurmountable. If you write them down and take them on one at a time its easier and you gain more headway.

Dont make the goals so big that they are way out of your comfort zone.

Suppose your shy and your goal is to interact more. Start just a little out of your normal comfort zone.

I will say hello first to 10 people I dont know today. You dont need to stop and converse just say hello and keep walking. Do it till it just comes.

Once your comfortable with that…

I will start a short casual conversation with one person today. Do it till it just comes.

See you just need to take little steps to move out of your comfort zone until it becomes your new comfort zone. You can do this with any goal. Jumping straight into the PUA arena can be to overwhelming for some. Even Mystery has his people take baby steps. (Yes I watched his VH1 show LOL)

Some of us do this process in our heads like your friends BF and some of us need to consciously do the steps by working on them one by one before it just comes natural.

Dont think your alone in this process. People look at me and think I am oh so outgoing so its easy for me but I have my fears and hangups to.

For instance this past year they started having the employees give the weekly safety talk on the intercom at work. Since I am a so outgoing and talkative they all looked at me to go first. Sure I can talk socially for days with small casual groups but to stand up at the desk and talk on the intercom. Well that terrified me, I dont know why it just does. Maybe because I am so used to reading peoples body language and its part of how I interact with others but I cant see it when I am on the intercom so I dont know how to react to there responses. Anywho… I made excuses, but I also made a goal to over come it. So I started small by just saying something short and sweet on the intercom. Like “Mike you have a call on line one” or when someone had a birthday I would ask the supervisor if I could announce it on the intercom. “Its Mikes birthday today, donuts in the swing room” (we have donuts in the lunch room on everyone’s birthday. Slowly I got used to it and gave the safety talk last November. I am still working on this problem though but I will overcome it.

Ok, I can give you more assignments but I dont want to overwhelm you. You have a choice. You can sit there feeling lonely and do nothing and things will remain the same or you can sit there lonely and work on some of your goals and issues and change your reality from lonely to sociable. Doing some of the above things will get you started. 2011 can be a great year for you. Its your choice. I charge people $75 bucks a hour for my time (of course I am walking them through it) but your luck has already changing. I am giving it to you free. Dont tell my clients it will piss them off (snort)

Besides your really not totally alone. We are here with you. :wink:

Tisha

8

So who is this David DeAngelo that a couple of you suggested?

9

Eban Pagan or as he calls himself now David DeAngelo is a student of Ross Jeffries a Dating seduction author. He has a few books and some Internet programs he sells. He is a big name in the PUA community. Basically he teaches dating and pick up techniques.

His stuff is good from what I have seen of it. Some of it can be a little over the top though. I find that for most people who suffer social anxiety and low self esteem they need to work on themselves a little before they work on the game though.

Tisha

10

He’s definitely my favorite “pickup” coach that I’ve seen, because he’s pretty down-to-earth.
Basically he teaches you how to interact with people in a more attractive manner that actually has an amplifying effect, stop being a “wuss” and be more masculine (which most other coaches don’t seem to talk about that much, though it is really important).

You’ll also learn some really good body language tricks that I know first-hand are just awesome! What’s great about DeAngelo, is he’s very intellectual. He’s read TONS of books, and talks in-depth about attraction, what it is, how it’s evolved through millions of years, and how do we create it. And he often has guest speakers on his programs that are doctors and psychologists. Pretty legit. :slight_smile:

P.S.
attracting women ultimately comes down to your perception of yourself and your reality. For example, most people agree that this old guy lives in a world of his own, and because of that, he can get a date with a VERY cute girl just by spouting off nonsense:

…it’s almost magical what self-esteem can do.

11

Do you consider the cocky comedy stuff to be authentic? His newer products might me more authentic but the old stuff is full of techniques.

12

Thank you all for giving all the advice and the support. I was doubtful of whether or not to post it here but I now I know that this was a great idea. There is a lot of David Deangelo stuff out there and I was wondering what would be a great place for me to start with. I have also considered looking into some of Ross Jeffries stuff. Any suggestions?

13

DeAngelo all the way, man!
Ross Jeffries is fine too, but understand that his stuff is really weird, and extremely hard to understand, let alone to successfully implement. Personally, I’d skip him, but that’s just me.

Also, “the Secret”. WATCH IT. It’ll help you a lot.

14

DeAngelo’s “Cocky Comedy” material was the first one I bought and it did loads of good work on my game. If its self confidence you are looking for (which he hits on in most of his programs), you might want to look at his “Inner game” section on his website. He pretty much tells you not to get too attached to women and to not take what they say personally. He really goes in depth on that stuff and it really makes it easier to take his advice after he breaks it down. It’s all good stuff, then the pheros will make it so much easier to fully implement his techniques.

Good Luck! :smiley:

15

“Deep Inner Game”, “On Being a Man” and “Mastery” are amazing programs that focus more on BEING a strong confident man as opposed to SEEMING like one.

16

Even “naturals” need a technique or gimmick, so is it authentic? No it’s a gimmick…however its IMO one of the more “authentic” gimmicks / techniques out there.

What’s interesting is how the PUA community is all moving into the direction of self-improvement over technique. I don’t mind, I’m a huge fan of Eckhart Tolle but I can’t stand going on RSD’s forums and reading a bunch of kids responding to questions about “bitch shields” with…“Dude, you need to not listen to the ego, stay int he present moment…blah blah blah blah blah.”

17

I think you need some perspective. Being a 22 year old virgin is not as big an issue as you think. However if you keep up that attitude it will only poison things for you. Maybe you need therapy for low self-esteem? FWIW, i’m a 34 year old virgin. (I have Asperger’s among other things, undiagnosed for years). Measuring yourself against some illusive ideal on this issue will only set you up for self-defeating thinking and behavior. You need to work on yourself a bit, figure out the real you, and not the you you wear as a mask to try to impress people. People are drawn to authenticity and self-respect, desperation is not attractive to women or men, its either repulsive in the best caes, or in worst cases, leads you into being manipulated.

18

You Need to have the Mentality that you are the Prize to be sought after and not the woman. Women are in no way perfect or to be put on a pedestal. They are human beings and too have imperfections and insecurities which makes them no better then you. Having the mindset that you are the most important person in the world and everyone else needs to know that is great. Before you go to sleep. Make a list of how you want to be, funny, good with words, confident. After you make that list. Repeat every thing on that list 10-20times with your eyes closed and then when you wake up in the morning repeat the process. Except without the sleeping. Another thing that can help you with your confidence is your physique. Start a workout program, exercise. You will have more energy,be healthly and also look good. Hope I helped