Oh my goodness! You’re 21??? I know you are SUFFERING BIG TIME!!! I’m sorry.
I don’t know what kind of sense of humor she has, and I know it’s going to be hard for you not to talk to her, or see her, but here you go …
Grab a hold of your ding ding and hold on tight, 'cause your brain is gonna be close to dying if you don’t talk or text her before you leave. DON’T DO IT! This is just a gamble, and if it does NOT work, you can go back to begging and pleading when you get back. And don’t you dare get to America, and sit around acting like a LOVE SICK PUPPY!!! Have fun! And be fun!
Now, this is an attempt to SECRETLY let her know you’re thinking about her without saying it, and you do not send the text until you are on the plane!!! Until you are on the plane!!! And if you get a response, do NOT respond! DO NOT RESPOND, IF YOU GET A RESPONSE.
THE GAMBLE TEXT MESSAGE:
“Hola quapa!! Hey, could you check under your bed. I think I left my favorite underwear under there. The ones with the hole in the back. Will you wash them in (INSERT YOUR FAVOR LAUNDRY DETERGENT), iron them for me, four creases, and not let anyone else try them on while I’m gone, please? Thanks!”
A little Spanish, and HOPEFULLY a little humor. That’s all! That’s it! And see what happens when you get back. Once you get back … IF YOU DON’T NOT HAVE A TEXT OR LETTER OR VOICE MESSAGE … DO … NOT … CONTACT … HER … DO … NOT … GO … WHERE … SHE … HANGS … OUT. NO MATTER WHAT. AND IF BY CHANCE YOU SEE HER ON THE STREETS, GIVE HER A BIG SMILE, AND A BIG HELLO, AND KEEP GOING … UNLESS SHE STOPS YOU.
Hehe, thanks for the advice. I did actually leave some lube at her place a few nights ago. I asked if I should take it back with me, but she told me to leave it there for next time. That “next time” was the night this whole thing happened!
I think I’ll just wait for her to message me then. Although, last time we were in a similar situation, I was the first person to message her and it worked out well
Yup - keep any contact to a bare minimum and ideally, leave it till she is begging you to get in touch - and even then, keep it minimal.
Stay-off FB, unless its a very brief visit to post a few pics of you having a good time - do not get drawn into conversation there either and if she’s waiting to pounce on your occasional visit, keep any response perfunctory!
“also like, i really can’t decide if i like you properly or not, and its not fair if we sleep with each other etc if i don’t feel the same. we’ve only really seen each other when it’s just the two of us, like it;s important to be around other people/friends… i always feel like we haven’t got much to say… plus i know you aren’t serious when you say it, but you’ve said ‘love you’ a few times, and it just scares me and puts me off a lot even if you didn’t mean it.”
I’ve never actually said I love her. I might have put <3 u, but that isn’t the same…
Thoughts?!
PS - I’m not really sure if I like her either, I just said it because I thought she was trying to make me commit.
Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! You said the ‘L’ word, too!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
This is EXACTLY what happens to young men/most men when they find something they consider GOOD and PERFECT! CRUCIAL MISTAKE! And YES, it’s the same, because you let her figure what you meant, and being that you’ve ALREADY SHOWN SIGNS OF BEING A WUSS, she wouldn’t believe anything other than “I LOVE YOU.” shaking my head
Someone else can jump in here and voice their opinion, but all you do is text back, “YOU ARE RIGHT. YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.” And no more text messages or responses until you’re back off vacation IF she has something else to say to say to you then. IF not, go on with you life, find someone else, in which your brain probably won’t let you do, and NEVER BE THE FIRST ONE TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT FEELINGS/RELATIONSHIPS/LOVE!!! I don’t know what gives, but I think there is a SECRET MEETING going on all over the world for YOUNG WOMEN only, and they have a rule that any man who expresses his LOVE FIRST, or SAY ANYTHING ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP FIRST, is a WUSS, and UNWORTHY. And as with everything else we can say or think of, there is ALWAYS THE EXCEPTIONS.
I never said Love, ever! All I put was <3, but I’ve said that to a load of girls and doesn’t mean the same thing. I only said it occasionally when saying goodnight to her on fb or Sms, didn’t realise she was taking it so seriously. There must be a way to fix this?
ANSWER: NOT ALL WOMEN have the same view. You said you didn’t say LOVE, she said you did. Who do you think she believes more … you or her? LOST IN TRANSLATION???
Jot that NOTE down. You’ll probably need it later on in the COMPLICATED LIFE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.
FIX IT: Send the text, go on your vacation, and wait. And hope she doesn’t tell all the ladies that you fall in love as soon as you get laid. That is not TODAY’S FASHION with the younger generation. I sure hope she was NOT your first lay. If she was, your brain may explode from OVERTHINKING.
Take a DEEP breath … let it out slooooooowly while counting backwards from 10 to 1, and do your best to HANG IN THERE!
Was thinking of sending something like:
“Well, I thought you were acting kinda weird because you were trying to make me commit or something. I’m still not 100% sure either…”
We have so much in common so it’d be a shame to lose this. Are you sure sending that text would be the best thing to do, if i want to get things back to the way they were?
FIRST LAY. BUMMER!!! That’s the BRAIN DAMAGE OF ALL LAYS. Don’t feel bad. Men/young men have been sticking their FINGER in THAT SOCKET and never returning to Earth since the NASTY was discovered. You’re in a club of MILLIONS if not BILLIONS, so you’re not alone.
See what I mean. Even after the text she just sent you, you’re STILL DETERMINED TO TALK ABOUT EMOTIONS. Well, lots of US learn the hard way, so send it if you must. But if you do NOT learn from this, the story is going to repeat itself over and over and over again until THAT LIGHT COMES ON. I still say, “YOU’RE RIGHT. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.” and nothing more, is the best chance for you. IF there is one.
It’s gonna be a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong and lonely vacation if you can’t figure out how to change your mind set by tomorrow, young man. Another bad sign … YOU LET SOMEONE ROB YOU OF YOUR JOY.
It’s all a learning process. I hope that you learn.
I just wanna continue hooking up with her! Well if she’s messaging me about emotions, surely I should do the same? :S
What should i expect if i send that “you’re right, take care” message to her? Won’t I just lose her forever?
I wish there was a way to take back what I said about liking her…
EDIT: Should I send message 1 or 2 or 3 to yield the best results?
“Honestly, I’m still not sure if I like you either. I said it because I thought you were annoyed that I wasn’t committing after you saying how you wanted to take me to all these places, etc. I don’t remember saying that I love you, but I remember you sending drunk “love you” texts though lawl. I think we should just continue having fun and see what happens tbh…”
“Yeah you’re right, take care” - Kinda sounds like i’m saying goodbye to her forever.
At this point, do what makes YOU HAPPY, young fella. Just make sure you learn from whatever it is you decide, so you know NOT what to do the next time.
I think Option ‘2’ would have been better but see now it’s too late. You must think how to respond..
I was going to say this: Be cool, don’t share you’re emotions or try to argue. Let her do bring that stuff up, Push/Pull. Give her to time to think about things (and no contact). If she liked you she will start missing you and wonder if she make a mistake (since you’re the one that pushed her away) and will be a good chance she will contact you maybe after 2 weeks, i think for women its the most lonely time after a breakup. If she doesn’t then its safe to contact her during the 3’rd week. I might be wrong though.
I hope you figure out that a LOT of women do NOT LIKE IT when you hand your balls over to them. You handed over your power with your text, and is why you got a short answer. SHORT answers are never GOOD, if you asked me, but you did what you had to do. NEVER forget: YOU have value, too, but no one will ever know it if you hand your balls over in every relationship you get in. Keep learning, or keep burning. Now it’s going to be you on vacation THINKING TOO MUCH, while she knows where you stand, and you have NO IDEA.
AS THE WORLD TURNS.
Do yourself a favor, and everybody around you … TRY TO ENJOY YOUR VACATION.
I’m just confused as to why she’s spamming with all these messages, suddenly getting upset when I told her I’m not sure if i like her, wanting to know what I’m doing, etc
Because you took your balls back with I DON’T KNOW IF I LIKE YOU. You go on vacation today, yes? Do yourself a favor … go to bed, and don’t answer anymore of her text NO MATTER WHAT.
That’s how you know you have met someone who really likes you - it gets very simple indeed. Even then I’d say you still need to keep watching your back somewhat.
I must say that I’m getting a whiff of insecurity/self-validation or just plain attention-seeking behaviour here - and all your replying to her is simply massaging her ego - which will get worse if you keep engaging with her and will get into an ever increasing spiral with her sending-out even more mixed signals, and leave you more mindfucked/confused about how to deal with them. Throw a spanner in this now!
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