Helllo from Singapore

[gkris]

Strangely nobody replied to my post for 2 days. Is everyone on a Valentine day vacation

[mobocaster]

Busy week for me!

I’ve edited it.

[mobocaster]

@gkris

Day 2 - We planned to go out clubbing. Before going, I told her in the evening I got an expensive whiskey. And suddenly she reacted negative. She said she doesn’t want to drink whiskey, she gets drunk with that. She would wait for me in the club, I can drink outside and get in. In fact at one point she even cancelled the program saying she is tired. In fact she even denied to come to the club from my place together even when we are neighbors.

She reached early and went in with her friend whom she tagged along because somehow she was not comfortable with the idea of being drunk

I was pissed off - i said I will have my drinks here and then I will go back. You enjoy with your friend. She came out with her friend and she told me she is leaving the club. There were tears in her eyes. Her friend (another lady) was trying to console her.

So far, so good - You have asserted yourself. I’m puzzled about this friend though - This sounds much more like she was arranging backup/support for herself in case of something bad.

We took the train back. Her friend had to go to another place so she was understanding enough to leave the train at next station. I told her I want to talk to her. She didn’t let me touch her. She reacted violently. She told me, don’t come near me. Talk from a distance.

This is not good - This is the point I would have ended the evening and just politely bid them good night and not engaged in any further contact until both of you had calmed down. Don’t be dragged into a situation where you degrade yourself or drop your standards of behaviour - Choose your battles!

she kept on insisting that she is not angry with me because she didn’t expect anything from me. And she is not hurt and I keep saying sorry just to make her feel that she is hurt and that is not the case.

You need to stop apologising for being yourself and standing-up for what you want in life/relationships. For one thing, its a dead-cert attraction killer but having healthy self respect is quite the opposite.

She kept on bull shitting about us being “good friends” and since she has no feelings for me so she is hurt. This is were our fight escalated. I had enough of the “friend” bullshit. I started bringing back from the past the intimate time we spend together even though it was less physical. I told her, would you ever share such personal details of your life with a “friend” and it just became ugly and uglier.

Throwing her words back at her is a very bad idea - For starters it looks incredibly weak and needy, at worst it can seem very creepy/controlling/manipulative and your “value” is now plummeting like a stone. Again, better to have been strong enough to thank her for the good times you already shared and walk away from something thats turning bad rather than get either of you into this mess.

She started defending herself saying she is always warm and friendly and people mistake it as a wrong signal just as I did. And that I am very narrow-minded etc.
I yelled at her and called names. She screamed as well and said I am sick. She ran away from me and took a cab and told the driver not allow me in the cab. I took another cab and went back.

Oh shit!

When I reached home, I called my friend to come as I was feeling devastated. He knows everything about us since the beginning. And he told me something that makes me more depressed, yesterday was 13th Feb so in the nightclub at midnight - valentines day (14th) would be celebrated. She herself wanted to take our relationship to this new level so that’s why she planned it on 13th night.

OK, this is where it gets very strange! First, it does sound rather controlling and overmanaged for her, so I’d like to know just when he found that out - Was it before you went out or just after your row with her. Because it does sound to me like something that was said in the heat of the moment in order to stick the knife-in and twist it harder. Equally, nothing in the rest of your post, the presence of the friend etc suggests that she was getting ready to do this. Just the opposite in fact.

I lost someone who really cared for me and there is no way I can convince her that yesterday it was not me. She believes that this is my real face and that’s over. I am not sure if there any way to get her back because she is not even technically my ex. I was put into friend zone permanently from yesterday. I message her again saying sorry but she never returned a reply. I don’t expect anything either. I was dick and I deserve this.

Don’t try and convince her of anything - If you are going to stand a chance of turning this, the best thing to do is to cut all contact - do not phone, text, or try to see her at all. I know it won’t be easy as you are neighbours but rows are funny things and can stir-up passions like nothing else. The main thing now is that she must not get any validation from you, or any kind of confirmation that she did the right thing - So no more apologies, just get-on with your life without her. You would be surprised how often a woman will be trying to find any way she can to see you after a few weeks of this - and if this happens, you will need to be much more assertive on how you want to go forward - and if not, there was nothing there to take further anyway.

Also, don’t say a word about how you feel to any mutual friends or anyone who might get it back to her. In fact, be polite, upbeat and pleasant to them about anything else but her. The only exception would be if you were out with another woman.

[gkris]

Hi Mobocaster,

You are really wonderful. Thanks for being supportive.

1. yes you are right - the friend was there for support for something bad if happens - in fact I came to know later that her friend was there only till midnight as she was planning to go early as soon as I meet her.

2. Ending the evening would have fine but since we were returning to the same place - Along the way she was avoiding to talk and it was me insisting to talk. So stupid I am.

3. Wow you are right there…she did say that I am loosing my self-respect by apologizing to her. So I stop saying sorry to her.

OK, this is where it gets very strange! First, it does sound rather controlling and overmanaged for her, so I’d like to know just when he found that out - Was it before you went out or just after your row with her. Because it does sound to me like something that was said in the heat of the moment in order to stick the knife-in and twist it harder. Equally, nothing in the rest of your post, the presence of the friend etc suggests that she was getting ready to do this. Just the opposite in fact.

I didn’t understood this - was she getting ready for V-day with me or you mean getting ready to avoid me on V-day? My friend realized this very late in the night after I came back and we started discussing what happened. Before the event, my friend (guy) was not even aware if I went somewhere.

Don’t try and convince her of anything - If you are going to stand a chance of turning this, the best thing to do is to cut all contact - do not phone, text, or try to see her at all. I know it won’t be easy as you are neighbours but rows are funny things and can stir-up passions like nothing else. The main thing now is that she must not get any validation from you, or any kind of confirmation that she did the right thing - So no more apologies, just get-on with your life without her. You would be surprised how often a woman will be trying to find any way she can to see you after a few weeks of this - and if this happens, you will need to be much more assertive on how you want to go forward - and if not, there was nothing there to take further anyway.

I was feeling terrible about misbehaving with her so I bought a bouquet of flowers and left outside her door in the afternoon. Although she didn’t trash the bouquet because I checked the dustbin
But later in the night, she deleted me from facebook. I will not contact her from now.

I am relocating within 2 months to another place so I won’t get a chance to even bump into her anymore. I do feel like I should send some gift with a note thanking her for the good time we shared before. Is that a good idea? May be next week if not now. Is this a good idea?

Most importantly - I am a very shy guy with girls -she had been dropping so many indications but I never took off. So how could I even assert - or even misbehave with her to such an extent. Was this P130 in me talking? Should I tell her about it?

Thanks again for wonderful help and Enjoy your V-day with mones

[gkris]

I somehow believe that she is forgetting me and moving on. I am not sure if there would be any way she would initiate a contact.
Since you have followed my case from the beginning - Can you suggest me how long should I wait if I have to make a contact. And how to initiate the first contact if I have to.

Thanks,

[mobocaster]

You wait as long as it takes - It has to come from her. Any contact from you will likely confirm all her worst opinions.

How long it takes is entirely up to her. The last woman to send seriously mixed signals and behaviours to me took about six weeks to resume contact and a couple of weeks after that, she was throwing herself at my feet. She’s still occasionally trying to get back in my life a good two years after I closed the door on her and her instability for good.

Always remain calm, polite and unsurprised when they come back to you - And be ready and willing to put-up the shutters again if you need. I normally detest power games but however counter-intuitive it seems, this is the only way to preserve/restore whatever is left of your value and self respect to her eyes. She needs to see you have paramount self control and restraint.

Her seeming angry the first time is good, her feelings are strong - as is her current indifference. Its these extremes of emotion that create the attractive pull, so hopefully sooner rather than later.

[gkris]

@mobocaster

You wait as long as it takes - It has to come from her. Any contact from you will likely confirm all her worst opinions.

How long it takes is entirely up to her. The last woman to send seriously mixed signals and behaviors to me took about six weeks to resume contact and a couple of weeks after that, she was throwing herself at my feet. She’s still occasionally trying to get back in my life a good two years after I closed the door on her and her instability for good.

Hey Mobocaster - you are so nice. Thank you so much for your support.

[mobocaster]

Hopefully all that means is that she will have more good than bad associations with you and a stronger personal bond - which makes it all the more likely she will come back.

Also, actions speak louder than words - never get caught in the trap of discussing a developing relationship - That again is a near certain way to kill it off. Just mmake the most of every moment and let each step “just happen”

[gkris]

@mobocaster

Hopefully all that means is that she will have more good than bad associations with you and a stronger personal bond - which makes it all the more likely she will come back.

Also, actions speak louder than words - never get caught in the trap of discussing a developing relationship - That again is a near certain way to kill it off. Just mmake the most of every moment and let each step “just happen”

Thanks mobocaster. You are just brilliant. Do you also give classes on how to understand women

You have been very supportive and thank you for that. I think I made a lot of mistakes with this one. So now I will move on, if it happens-good. If not, it was never there

Thanks Again

[MTlover]

@gkris

Hi,

I just received my parcel (TUHT) today!!
I have a quick question - I also received P130 along with it (very small bottle).
I searched about it and I found very varying answers for this. I figured out some common reports that were discussed in this forum (assuming that the reports are correct).

If someone could confirm these -

1. P130 - it’s a social mone and it effects more you than people around.
2. You become relaxed and stop caring about the surroundings - so does this mean that if you are in a nightclub then you get so relaxed that you just stop caring about your partner. I think it will end up in a disaster
3. Does this have an equal effect on females as in males -for example - if you female partner smells - will she also become relaxed?
4. What is the appropriate amount to be used - 2 sprays or 3?
5. Where to use - wrist or neck? Please don’t say both - I don’t want to overload myself.
6. Everyone suggested to use Ammo instead of TUHT but since my Ammo is still on its way, I was wondering if its possible to use P130 with TUHT? Somewhere I read that P130 along with TUHT would backfire. So if I apply TUHT, have drinks and go to a nightclub - TUHT and P130 would give a opposing reaction (TUHT-aggresive and P130 - relaxed)
7. Can I take chance of using P130 early -say for first couple of hours and then use TUHT? Will the effect of P130 be gone by 2 hours?

Please add more suggestions if you have.

Thanks,

Hi gkris mind me to ask how’s the effect of TUHT on sg girls?

[gkris]

@MTlover

Hi gkris mind me to ask how’s the effect of TUHT on sg girls?

Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to use it. I broke off much before
I did use P130 which definitely backfired and yes I did use Ammo which had a pleasing affect or may be the girl I was around with was, already much comfortable with me

[MTlover]

@gkris

Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to use it. I broke off much before
I did use P130 which definitely backfired and yes I did use Ammo which had a pleasing affect or may be the girl I was around with was, already much comfortable with me

Hey thanks gkris. So far I have decided to give Ammo and IS a try. Hopefully they work well in sg.

[gkris]

@mobocaster

You wait as long as it takes - It has to come from her. Any contact from you will likely confirm all her worst opinions.

Hey Mobocaster - you were so damn right. Last Sunday, I was having brunch at the restaurant near my place. I normally eat there every Sunday afternoon. She knows that although she doesn’t frequent there so often.
So she walked in while I was already there. She sat across my table. Strangely she was sitting there for more than 20 mints but she ordered take-away (which takes less than 5mints). All that time she was hoping that I would come to her table and start the conversation But I didn’t!!

Its up to her to take the first contact. If she thinks that she would just sit and I will walk to her - she is wrong. I hate this kind of power game but seems that it works pretty well

Thank you so much

[gkris]

@mobocaster

You wait as long as it takes - It has to come from her. Any contact from you will likely confirm all her worst opinions.

Her seeming angry the first time is good, her feelings are strong - as is her current indifference. Its these extremes of emotion that create the attractive pull, so hopefully sooner rather than later.

Hi Mobocaster,

How you doing. I followed your advice strictly for over a month but I am still getting mixed signals.

I don’t see her all throughout the week but on sunday - I always saw her in the neighborhood food court. Is it a signal for me to initiate a contact or am I thinking too much because may be she is just there to eat because there is no other near-by food court opened around our place.

The whole thing is just getting weird. Before stepping out of my house, I knew I will see her, and I am pretty sure she knew that she will see me as well. By finding me near the entry door, she deliberately avoids me and enters from the exit door and sit in a manner facing my back. This pattern of avoiding eye contact by sitting facing my back or behind me - I observed this pattern for many weekends. I have no idea what does that means. Also, she orders take-away and still sits for long time drinking coke.

Just before leaving after dinner, I thought to speak to her but then all the bad things came to my mind about our fight and I just couldn’t walk upto her to talk. Now I am confused - how long and would she ever make a contact or there was nothing

[gkris]

Hey mobocaster,

I know you must be busy or you may think that this has nothing to do with phero’s so may be its irrelevant for discussion here. I understand that. But I am asking you because you had been following my case from the begining and it will be really nice if you give your advice.

Thanks

[mobocaster]

@gkris

I don’t see her all throughout the week but on sunday - I always saw her in the neighborhood food court. Is it a signal for me to initiate a contact or am I thinking too much because may be she is just there to eat because there is no other near-by food court opened around our place.

By finding me near the entry door, she deliberately avoids me and enters from the exit door and sit in a manner facing my back. This pattern of avoiding eye contact by sitting facing my back or behind me - I observed this pattern for many weekends. I have no idea what does that means. Also, she orders take-away and still sits for long time drinking coke.

Just before leaving after dinner, I thought to speak to her but then all the bad things came to my mind about our fight and I just couldn’t walk upto her to talk. Now I am confused - how long and would she ever make a contact or there was nothing

I think its the latter but she may be checking you out again if she has not been able to fill the void you left behind. You will have to be very cool and collected for the time being.

This does not sound like a woman comfortable with approaching or being approached by you yet - in fact her body language suggests the very opposite to me. Do not make it worse by approaching her!

The only thing I’d do here if I caught her eye is just say hello, or give her a nod in passing. Don’t go out of your way to do this though and don’t expect or wait around for a response. This might mark the start of the way back to communication but again, it could take a long time before she relaxes enough around you to do this, so don’t expect miracles.

If you are looking at pheros to wear around this stage, I would suggest something light/sociable/comforting and engaging in orser to help ease things.

Ammo with possibly IS, IO or IG would be high in my thoughts and your P130 might be useful here as it has comforting/relaxing properties.