I am a 25 year old South African who has been in Japan for 2 years teaching English. I am about to return home imminently.
I am curious about pheromones and whether they can help add a little punch to helping sort out my current love life situation.
Six months ago, my boyfriend of 6 and a half years (who had been considering proposing) suddenly and unexpectedly broke up with me. We had been doing the long distance thing for a year and a half by that point. The reason? After a year and a half of me being in another country he was shocked and horrified that he was attracted to other girls. This obviously meant that he did not love me “enough”. Sure it sounds like a line, but when the self same person is protesting that they cannot live life without you in it in some form or another and they want to stay best friends and of course we have to stay flatmates when you get back, well… the problem is really in unrealistic expectations and a lack of understanding of how chemicals are important to bonding, attraction, etc. rather than the relationship itself.
Anyway, since he is still single I have decided that I am going to put up a fight for him when I get back. His attention is being drawn by the new 18-20 year olds in the social club we belong to, and I am a 26 year old who has been on the pill for over 5 years for a hormonal condition - I figure a little boost to pheromones cannot hurt the situation and may provide me with an edge that the younger girls currently have. No, I don’t expect the pheromones to do the work FOR me, but they will hopefully help me regain an edge and save some time.
And heck, if it doesn’t work, there is nothing like a little more interest than normal to help you feel better.
Expect to see me on the female forums asking for the best products to use in certain situations and other advice. From what I have been reading I am probably looking for products containing copulins, right?
Thanks everyone! I am looking forward to experimenting and having fun with pheromones.
I am sorry to hear about your boyfriend.. that is not easy to deal with. Long distance relationships are tough, I was in one recently and my girlfriend gave me the same reason. Since you are returning though just being there will help I think.
I do not know much about female mones, but I think that you should check out Instant Sexiness A or B. For you, I think A would work well because you want to assert yourself. I could be totally wrong on that one though so wait for some of the ther members to respond haha.
Good luck with your boyfriend, and I look forward to seeing you on the board!
Products containing copulins would be very beneficial to you in your current situation. Because you are on the pill, your body doesn’t produce as much of it’s own copulins as it normally would. Also those younger girls will be producing more then you naturally, so copulins are definitely the way to go if you want to have an edge over them. EOW is probably the best copulin product out right now and it can be found at Lovescent.com. It stinks though, so you will need to find a good perfume to cover the smell with (pink sugar is a good one).
For you I would also recommend you try some Instant Sexiness A or B. Would you say you are more of a strong sexy or a kittenish sexy? We can help you pick which one might work best for you if we know a little more about your personality. Are you shy or outgoing? Do you feel you need more confidence?
Hi Skylarkza. So sorry to hear about your misfortune. Consider trying Instant Honesty, as it can bring about deep conversations, and make people relax and open up in ways they might not otherwise feel comfortable doing. Perhaps it will help you and your intended get to the bottom of your troubles. Of course the Instant Sexiness line might not hurt either. Best of luck!
Hi everyone! Thanks for your responses. To try and answer all three of you so far…
Yeah. We knew it was going to be rough going into the long distance relationship and had long discussions about how being apart was going to be difficult. I was just flabbergasted at the reasoning behind his decision. Which purely boiled down to the fact that he did not expect to be attracted to other women (not even after 1 year and a half of separation! I would have been worried if he hadn’t found at least someone else attractive ) and he thought that it means that he does not REALLY love me. I could go into a long discussion of his behaviour (he has been crowned the King of Mixed Signals at the moment) and of all the things we have discussed, but I am not sure if this is the appropriate place. Basically, what I am trying to say is that while Instant Honesty sounds awesome, my focus at the moment is definitely more on the “sexyness” factor. I am not ruling out the other products that promote deeper connections and conversations, but they are not as much of a priority right now. Call it an attempt to reignite some good old-fashioned sparking.
As for what kind of sexy I am. I tend more towards the kittenish sexy. I am playful rather than forward and tend to be more shy. Though I have known him for more than 7 years now and so shy is probably not the best word to use, playful is definitly a better description - I was just starting to grasp the whole being forward thing though. So I guess you could say I am in transition?
Does that help with giving advice? How is Instant Sexiness on the aroma frontier?
All of the Instant products come in ‘neroli’ scent, which is a citrusy floral kind of smell. I personally love it, and wear it alone. Others have said they do not care for it, and cover the scent, or order their products with other scents instead. The option is available, but only for full size bottles.
Like Maromi said, if you’re looking for sexy, nothing sparks a guy’s interest like copulins. Unfortunately, there are none available at Androtics right now, but you can order Essence of Woman from Love Scent. I have not gotten brave enough to try it, as everyone says it stinks like hell, but apparently it’s easy to cover that smell.
So, the you that he fell in love with is more kittenish, yet playful and a little shy, correct?
I’m thinking that you would want his perceptions of you, obviously, to be those attributes of your personality that first attracted him, and then made him want to stick around.
Don’t try to change yourself, in an effort to “compete” with other girls. Don’t try to become something you’re not, or something that you “think he’ll like”.
And don’t make it too easy for him either. If you throw yourself at him, that will take away from the original and natural mystique that he saw in your playful shyness.
If I were you, I would try Instant Sexiness/B, which will enhance your kittenish sexiness and also give your confidence a boost.
Instant Shine will give you an uplifting positive glow that will attract others to you and give you a sparkle.
Instant Sexiness A and B can be used in either way. That is, IS/A can enhance an already strong alpha sexy person, or it can be used to make a mellow sexy aura a little stronger. And IS/B can be used to compliment an already soft, sexy persona, or it can be used to soften your sexiness a bit.
But whatever you do, don’t try to change who you are for the sake of a wishy-washy guy who can’t keep it in his pants!
moonwhisper - I guess I will have to see what scents they offer. My typical scent tends to be more on the “sweet” side than the citrus side (think Angel, although right now I am using a cherry blossom perfume).
Sillykitty - Don’t worry. I have NO intention of changing myself for him. I have just noticed that my personality has become more assertive than it was 2 years ago. It is probably a side effect from living in a country where I can barely speak the language and I have to be super blunt about my needs etc. otherwise I can’t communicate it and people don’t understand me. It will probably go back towards its baseline normal once I am back home.
I know what you’re saying, people naturally grow and change. I am actually in a very similar situation with someone who was so “in love with me”, I moved far away, he was supposed to follow. Now its 3.5 years later. He has done the “seeing other people” thing. And of course it sucked and he only loves me and wants to be with me. But actions speak louder than words. He’s still not made the effort to even come visit.
Maybe with your progressively more assertive and more confident personality, you will realize what a loser he really is, and how much he doesn’t deserve you. And me, I will be back in his area next month, and it will be interesting to discover what I see in him now.
Oh, and Angel will definitely work well with EoW. That was actually my HG fragrance for quite awhile (and sometimes still is).
I am sorry to hear that you are in a similar situation, Sillykitty. Unfortunately it is different and actions do speak louder than words - hence why I am willing to try and see if the old sparks can be reignited! He is getting the mixed Signal crown for saying that he thinks we should be broken up, but acting like he still wants to be with me in many respects. I don’t want to get into details here - I don’t think that this is really the forum for it, but rest assured, I am not trusting my judgment alone on that assessment.
I am probably going to go for Instant Sexiness B in my first order. It is the sexy that I know how to be and am comfortable with. But maybe at a later date I will get some Instant Sexiness A for when I am in a RWAR! mood.
I am also looking at Instant Shine, but that appears to be a men’s product - is it unisex? (Never mind - just found the women’s guide! It is for women too!)
Good to hear that EoW would work with Angel, but the dry down (?) time concerns me. Hrmmm… Love scent also appears to have something called Passion Copulin Concentrate that seems to be a much weaker (and less smelly) version of EoW. Any thought from anyone on using a touch of that to add some copulin enhancement to something like Instant Sexiness?
Passion Copulin Concentrate is supposed to be effective, though of course EoW straight is supposed to be much better. As for drydown, 20 minutes is not too terribly long. Also, you are quite young, so you should not need as much. I have just recently started experimenting with copulins myself.
Great advice from the members. Your in a tough situation and it sounds as though your Ex wants the best of both worlds without thinking about your feelings. I think what he was trying to tell you by saying that he must not love you enough because he is attracted to other people was that he decided to act on that attraction.
If he did act on it then he is right. He dosnt love you enough and you deserve better. In life couples will be attracted to others all the time. This in itself says your both healthy humans. Its acting on that attraction that says something about the persons character and commitment to the relationship.
I agree with SK, Dont change for him. You may find when you return you dont feel the same. Try to seperate those feeling of the love you once felt for him and how you truely feel about him now. Feelings from the past can sometimes cloud things.
You sound like a smart strong lovely young lady and I am sure with or without him you will find success and happiness.
Now as for mones,
I would choose IS/A myself but B is good if you feel your going to be competeing with the other ladies for his attention. Its soft and sexy.
PCC smells nice but I find it to low in copulins for me. It may be fine for you because your young and wont need as much as the older women though. Covering EOW really is not hard. Just put a few drops on after you shower or before you get dressed in the morning. Go about your other routine for getting ready then before you leave the house or meet up with him use your cover.
Ishine is unisex. It used to be for them but women tried the molecule and found it worked for them great. It says for men on it still for marketing purposes. Men shy away from it because of the name. LOL
If you have any questions just ask and I hope to see you in the forum
Just for the record, no he did NOT act on the attraction, but he was tempted to, and has taken a very “If thine covet another man’s wife with thine eyes then thou hast already committed adultery in thine heart” approach to the situation (which I find an unrealisitic expectation for a LDR, or for long term relationships in general - you WILL be attracted to other people, the test is if you act on it - he thinks there should not be temptation at all because temptation shows that you do not love the other person enough). That attitude is not something that pheros are going to help me get past, and it is certainly something that we are going to have to talk about and could end up meaning that I don’t end up getting back together with him in any event if it turns out that he has been developing many more totally unrealistic expectations because it would just be setting us both up for this situation or similar all over again.
And to reiterate, no, I do not intend to change myself for him. If I had to, it would not be worth it and he would not be the wonderful man who loved me and accepted me as me in the first place.
Hmmm, EoW is sounding less and less like a good idea. See… when I get back home I am moving back into my old room and he is moving onto the couch in the living room as a temporary measure for a month or so (he was most upset when I even suggested that I stay somewhere else and couch surf at friends’ houses because I “already have” my room - and yes, I still get phonecalls twice a week). I view pheros as the control top panties of the scent world - you wear them to enhance the little black dress that is yourself and your attractiveness and personality. And you certainly don’t reveal the control top panties straight away! Trying to apply EoW and waiting for it to dry whilst in the same house before he smells the pong and you can apply the cover scent, would be akin to trying to hide the control top panties whilst hanging them up on the washing line (before donning the dress) WHILE he is also hanging up his laundry. The acceptability of this situation changes with the relationship you have with the HIM.
Oh! One more question. Since I am going to be having to look for new jobs too when I get home - would Instant Shine be useful in that situation too?
Yay! I will put m,y GW to good use tomorrow when I have a bit more time to sit and give my order a good think through.
I agree with you it is unrealistic. He is mixing up sexual attraction with love. If that were true then everyman on the planet would be screwed and most the women to LOL
You can go with PCC first. It smells nice and is easy to use, Another cop formula you may like is Scent of eros for women from Love scent. They have gel packs at a low cost so you can check that out. There are other mones in this one though but its a much loved product.
Keep in mind you dont have to use EOW straight like we do. Its a pure copulin formula. You could put some of your favorite perfume in a small atomizer and just add 5 to 10 Drops in and then you dont have to take the time to wait. You can just spray it on and go.
Its up to you, you dont have to do it all at once.
Whoops forgot about the job question. I would look at Ishine and MX300. MX300 is the womens version of the mens A314. Trust respect a strong capable vibe
Thanks for letting me know about the Instant Shine being good for job interviews too.
Then, since I am female, he would hopefully think that I stand out from the crowd, but am attractive too!
Great Tisha, you are helping me spend even MORE in my head now. And you have also got me trying to figure out how the heck I would get the perfume I am currently using out of its sealed container.
OK - I think it is time for me to sleep on it and then tomorrow I can decide what exactly I want. I do want to get enough to be able to mix things up a little and try different approaches.
I ended up ordering:
Instant Sexiness B
Instant Shine Instant Honesty (I decided that it might just help add a certain depth once we reach the talking about stuff stage)
I also took a womble off to Love Scent and got a SOE gel pack and EoW to play and experiment with (heck - he goes to the gym every few days, that would allow for covert dry down time).
I cannot wait for them to arrive so that i can start playing. Unfortunately testing is going to be tricky… I work as an English Teacher at a technical high school here… while instant honesty would probably be ok to use… I am not sure that the boys need any more encouragement. And the Japanese guys are just so culturally different in their approach to dating, etc. that I doubt I would recognize a hit unless it was with a sledgehammer. Which leaves me with when I hang out with other foreigners. Well, I guess that Charity Show rehearsals are going to get interesting , only 2 single guys but I can see if their attitudes towards me shift at all. Yay! I am so excited!
(Also, I decided to stick with neroli after realizing that I know Neroli well and it does not remind me that strongly of oranges, more orange blossom and it is a scent I associate with meditation since it is oneof the essential oils I burn! facepalm for not realizing sooner )
) and he thought that it means that he does not REALLY love me. I could go into a long discussion of his behaviour (he has been crowned the King of Mixed Signals at the moment) and of all the things we have discussed, but I am not sure if this is the appropriate place. Basically, what I am trying to say is that while 
