Hello from A-Shy-that-Can't-Open-A-Set

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1

Hey everyone,

I’m asian male, at the end of my 20’s, some think I’m cute
some think I’m so-so (but no one think I’m ugly haha.. :wink:)
Oh, and I live in a tropical island in South East Asia.

Coming from a broken home (parents aren’t divorced, but
home is like hell with fights over everything everyday) and
especially a difficult, over-protective mom, it’s easy to tell
that I grew up with a really low self-esteem.

I’ve been in two LTR’s so far, one was +/- 3 yrs, and one was
+/- 4 yrs. Both ended up in girfriend cheating on me :slight_smile:

Many friends (and both my ex’es) described me as a really,
really super nice guy --which I think eventually backfires on me
in my romantic relationship with girls.

Earlier this year, I made moves towards two fellow-students
at foreign language course. Both ended in friend-zone.

Now this has to change.. I keep telling to myself.
But as of today, I’ve got little to no social circles (thanks to my
over-protective mom and I run my online business from home).
The only way that I can meet someone, and especially girls, is
by REACHING OUT to strangers, like in malls, coffee shops, book
stores, wedding parties, etc. you know what I mean…

Thing is, I don’t have THE GUT to initiate a conversation with
strangers. It’s just not my thing. I don’t scare public speaking,
I’ve talked in front of hundreds of people in the past.. and when
I was in high school I was even awarded the #1 debater. But to
open a set (even it’s a ONE set)? It sends thrills down my spine!

There were occasions that I got obvious IOI’s from girls at wedding
parties or coffee shops or when I was walking down the mall…
but I was just too shy to walk up to them and say hi :frowning: A few days
ago I tried to man up and just do it.. and I asked “is it raining outside?”
to the cute waitress where I was having lunch, and you know what??
The waitress said “Sorry? I can’t hear you…” and wham! It went awkward.

I’ve invested THOUSANDS of my hard-earned dollars to re-educate
my mind with self help books, DVDs, and even hypnosis sessions!
but no remarkable result so far. It’s progressing yes (the old me don’t
even have the gut to walk in a restaurant and order), but it’s still not
enough to get me to where I want to be.

THE GOAL is clear: I want to be able to meet girls anywhere, anytime
and escalating one into an LTR without ever getting friend-zoned again :slight_smile:

I know pheromones can only help me so far (and that it still requires me
to OPEN SETS!) but maybe some of you guys here have similar
experience to mine and managed to break through? Please don’t
give me the “just-do-it” advice, as if you’ve never been in our shoes
you’ll never know how hard it is to go “just-do-it”.

I’m thinking of purchasing the Killer Pheromone Newbie Kit along with
P114/Instant Openness for the ice-breaker. I also want some anti-shy
mones if there is any (like the alcohol effect) --am considering AMMO,
Instant Shine, Instant Gentleman, or P91/P102 as KIMBA suggested
in his Lion’s Den thread.

Which combo do you think will best serve my purpose?

2

Welcome to the forum.

IH and io are both great for making conversations easy. They should be a great help in getting some good conversations under your belt and helping with your conffidence.

IG will give a capable masculine vibration that is non-threatening. It is one of my favorites.

Ammo is great for stirring up some sexual thoughts. It is buffered enough that it is no problem for initial contacts, but you may even consider it for a second encounter after establishing a rapport with the help of some of the previously mentioned products.

3

Welcome Pherostarter,

Yes your situation is what we get a lot.

Not in terms of your life and parents but being placed in the friend zone

Confidence is a must have in this life as I have learnt the hard way if someone sees you have low self esteem and most times they can tell and if they can they will take advantage of you

Its how the world works these days unfortunately

So being aware of your self worth and getting that confidence needed is a must for yourself and not just to make these relationships work

That is just a by product of having that confidence

With these products I suggest you work on gaining some confidence and although your situation is really messed up you are not the only one

My home life was very similar and even more so my dad went out of his way and still do to make my feel like I am worthless and a failure

You were created for great things so learn that and believe it

In terms of the friend zone , women like nice guys and you shouldn’t stop being nice for anyone but never be a girl’s friend or a pushover. You need to stand your ground and learn to say no

The truth is no matter what relationship you are in if someone wants to leave they will no matter what you do and so never be afraid to loose anyone

Just a few tips, the men will continue guide you and take you under their wing

I hope things can turn around for you

Your gc was issued!

4

Hey, it would be interesting, not only for me, but some other guys aswell if you made a journal and shared your experiences with us. I am a former nice guy but sometimes i still get that “be overly nice to others” urge and have to keep it in check. It would be really interesting to read about you becoming an alpha the girls wont be able to get enough of :slight_smile:

5

Hey

I used to have so massive anxiety when the moment had come to “jump into the cold water” that sometimes it felt like I was fainting - couldn’t feel my legs or I just moved in the opposite direction, struggling with myself. Let me tell you, this is not healthy. If you don’t do it in small steps and your mind is not really stable then it can end worse than it started.

You can PM me any time for some advices as I was in a similar situation once. I think I could help you but asking for it is up to you.

Now back to topic, I welcome you here. Mones have the best of their effects when you are good with girls already. If you feel too anxious or have low self esteem, their effect may contradict with your personality/vibe which can create a confusing effect for other people (they feel it subconsciously). But don’t let that stop yourself from buying them but continously work on yourself to harmonize with mones’ effects and vibes.

Best of luck for you in the new year.

6

Fellow terminally shy guy here too.

I found that IO + TAC do help me in social situations.

But I haven’t found yet what could help push for sex.

I suggest you do what I am doing, before trying to get laid, first try to make friends, plenty of them, practice being social.

And the day you find a girl you like though dont wait too long before pushing for something more sexual (touching a.k.a kino helps make your intentions clear) or you’ll end up getting friendzoned again.

A few things I keep in mind that help me chill in social settings:
“Everything is funny” - try to see everything around you as amusing. this will help you smile which will be of great help.
“Keep it simple” - keep conversations/interactions simple and lighthearted.
“Don’t expect too much from people” - seriously dont, in fact dont expect anything from people; just take what you can when it is on offer and leave it at that.

Also eye contact, very important.
Kino can also help making friends, a manly hug, a pat on the shoulder show that you feel comfortable enough around people to do it. dont hesitate.

7

I disagree with most points.

If you define a “girl you like” by a “girl you can imagine a relationship with” then the worst you can do is get sexual on day two already - in most cases from my experience. Always exceptions, ofc. You can easily express your interest without grabbing their butts. :wink: If you want a one-night-stand or f***buddy then yes, be sexual early.

Kino only if you’re a guy who naturally does it. If you try to attract them, it’s over. If you touch them although you wouldn’t naturally do it, they feel it and that’s awkward, really.

Very well, you can do that. Or you just don’t “try to get laid” but try to make friends through your gaming, and if it works out, then cool, you can get laid :slight_smile:

For me personally, a good vibe is always great, but always smiling just makes you a clown on drugs. If you look sceptical from time to time, the girl will feel the need to invest more (given that attraction exists).

I feel comfortable enough not to do it. I could, I don’t care what others think. But I don’t wanna. Now, if I did it just to consciously send signals or impress others, then I’d have a low value desperately trying to make others see me in a better light.

Can’t agree more - this is very true. Pin her with your mewmew lazor eyes!

8

Well of course I meant a girl you want to get down with, I think if its going to last more than a night, it will anyhow. Although yes it would be good to drop hints then that you’d be interested in more than a quick f***.

9

Okay, i just spent 40 minutes writing a post with some personally tried and tested ways to overcome your fear of opening sets, but i accidentally closed it down and lost all my text :angry:

If you are still interested feel free to PM…:slight_smile: