Two weeks of A314/NPA + IS + IH
I was offline for two weeks, but kept a record of my experiences.
26-27 August
Weekend move into my new apartment, along with numerous trips to Ikea, Target, and Wal Mart.
Week of 28 August - 1 September.
This is the week I was supposed to train under the 40-something female.
I resolved to continue using 2 drops of A314, one applied to each sideburn, and 2 drops of NPA - one on each PEC for as long as I could stand it.
Monday, 28 August.
The 40+female called in sick. I worked on and off with a 20 something black male instead. An uneventful day, other than some “male bonding” and being briefed on hospital politics. The guys standing policy: Avoid all the women in the department… except for the ultra-hot ones.
Tuesday, 29 August.
The 40+female called in sick again. I was almost late for work so I skipped my shower. Instead, I just shaved and sprayed myself all over with Tag Body Spray “Midnight” fragrance and I forgot to apply pheromones.
Today was a big ego-booster for me.
Got two “eyelocks” from two females I worked with - you know, where you lock eyes and “everything stops”, and you just can’t tear yourself away? One was with a spanish female physician in her late twenties - from 10-12 feet across the room - when we tore each other away she just shook her head violently and smiled - she literally “shook me off”. The other was a very petite, sexy little Filipino nurse who was standing very close to me. When I was finally able to tear myself away from the gaze of that Spanish Hottie, I turned my head to the left and immediately locked eyes with that nurse. She stood there looking into my eyes for a few seconds and almost fell over backwards. She then looked down and went back to work, and I turned to see the physician staring at me in silence, either spaced out or deep in thought. There were two other females and one male in the room, busy doing other work and seemingly oblivious to what was going on. Then another physician walked in, and we all began to work.
Less than a minute later I got a DIHL from that same RN!
She had left the room and was coming back in as I left to answer a page-- and, just like all the other “DIHL’s” I’ve gotten in my life, we ran right into each other while going through the doorway, I grabbed her by her hips instinctively as she slammed in to me… (nice flat belly and tiny little pelvis. Mmmmm…) and - unlke the other DIHL’s - she actually MOANED quietly and leaned back, pushing her pelvis into mine and exposing her neck ( I threw that in there for all you body language fanboys out there.) Then she smiled, blushed, ducked her head, grabbed one of my arms, and eased herself around me, brushing her head against my chest/shoulder area as she squeezed by. She might as well have grabbed me by the balls and led me around the room, because I was totally smitten. For the rest of that procedure she was very touchy- feely, rubbing her (tiny) breasts up against me when she passed, or resting her hand on my shoulder for balance, and leaning over/ reaching aound me constantly to get things (looking into my eyes and smiling the entire time) but after that procedure was done, she seemed to avoid eye contact for the rest of the day as I came in and out of her work area. I noticed that she was very “touchy-feely” with the other males in her area, but not as blatantly, and the guys kept their hands to themselves OR didn’t notice. Those guys were much taller than me and because of her height (about 4’ 6"- 4’ 9") they may not have been as attracted to her as I was. I missed my opportunity to capitalize on this combined “DIHL” / instant-attraction phenomenon, but she will be at the top of my list when I finally start dating again. (If I were divorced and financially solvent, I would have asked her out.) I just hope that she wasn’t too embarrassed by our little exchange or upset/insulted that I didn’t ask her out. The female MD began using my name in every sentence when we spoke, and has done so ever since. One of my male coworkers has noticed this next fact, and I think he was not the only one – she doesn’t use anyone elses name as often when she addresses them and everytime that she DOES use my name, it seems to perturb a female british nurse who sometimes works with her. This british nurse avoids being around me, stays close to the male physicians, and avoids speaking with me and with any other women who are not her suboordinates. She’s more than “professional” or formal - she’s uptight. Anyhow, the (Tiger-Woods-esque) male physician in charge that morning went out of his way to stop me as I was leaving the room and said…
“You are very, VERY good at what you do.”
(!)
SO should I stop taking showers in the mornings and start wearing my pheromones every other day, or what?
The rest of the day went well but was not as “over the top” as that group of events in that room. Flirted with a few more nurses, but nothing else notable happened.
Wednesday, 30 August -
Normal morning routine but didn’t shave today. Gossip was sick again, and I had another good but hectic day. Apparently a lot of people called out sick today, and the hospital was very busy. Ended up doing twice as much work with half as many people, I had two co-workers alternating between helping me and putting out other fires, while I worked with the “fun group of women” I worked with last week. Got two backrubs and many flirtatious phonecalls to my cellphone for no reason whatsoever. Lots of subtle sexual innuendo in those calls, 2 passing backrubs (from two different nurses), and one wierd “arm stroking incident” wherein one of those nurses - who was standing directly in front of me -reached out with both hands, grabbed ahold of the middle of both of my forearms, and started rubbing/stroking them up and down from elbow to wrist while looking up into my eyes and thanking me “for not leaving (her) all alone” (?!). If that doesn’t have some kind of Freudian connotation to it, then I don’t know WHAT would. Both of the nurses who flirted with / hit on me were petite/thin caucasians in their thirties. Other nurses and female “bystanders” laughed at us all day and several jumped in to our tit-for-tat exchanges, and the running joke was about me “getting lucky today if any of us catch you all alone, by yourself.”, while all of the male physicians seemed a surprised by their behavior and remarks. It seems like all it takes is for one female to break the ice, and then I’ll suddenly get ambushed. Their flirtatiousness is contagious and they like to gang up on me. I noticed today that the female spanish physician acts much more reserved while her male peers are around and did not 'partake" in the flirty behavior towards me at all, and she seems to get quieter and quieter the more the other women become vocal. My male co-workers seemed surprised by their behavior also - “Why do they like YOU so much? They NEVER act like that.” The males were also colder, more professional/formal and less chummy towards me today. It could have been the fact that these two guys were over-worked and forced into assisting me and running all over the hospital, “putting out fires”. Could also have been some minor jealousy or resentment…
And Yeah. I know, I know… some of you are pulling out your hair and practically screaming “Dammit! It’s the pheromones, Pete! that’s what they DO to people! Open your EYES, man!”
Calm down, LADIES… based on prior experiences, I’m used to this kind of behavior in this kind of a work environment - I initiated some of the flirting and kept it up as the day went on and as I came across willing participants. The (much younger, inexperienced, and less traveled) male coworkers and male physicians have probably been taught that such behavior is innappropriate in a work environment. They’re fresh out of school and brainwashed into being politically correct. They seemed confused, expressed surprise, and were - as best as I can tell - shocked that this kind of behavior goes on. The only women who did not flirt with me were the young twenty-something assistants who were in the procedures with us - and I didn’t initiate anything with them because of the “vibe” I got from them… (The vibe: “Why is everyone flirting with this short, fat, old guy? I don’t want him even TALKING to me. Yuck! Essence of Woman!”) I imagine they were also just out of school AND this led me to another observation / pet theory…
People in their early twenties - I hesitate to call them kids - have different social/sexual outlets while the thirty something nurses i’ve been flirting with are probably in the same social-phantom-zone that I am in – that is, my job IS my social life and the best place for me to meet people, make friends, and have fun. I/we don’t go to bars and clubs. We don’t participate in a “nightlife” like people in their twenties. We don’t connect with many people outside of work, and we have children and families that take up our time on the weekends and evenings. If I/we don’t meet someone at work, it’s unlikely to happen at all because our social lives and ways of approaching the opposite sex are just DIFFERENT. SO, I think that our behavior confuses the younger people - it seems innappropriate because it’s not how they behave (or are taught to behave) at work and because it would never occur to them to behave that way - because that part of their life is seperate, compartmentalized. I could go on and on and refine this or explain it more in depth, but that’s my basic theory: many of us thirtysomethings are in our element at work while many of the twentysomethings and younger physicians are shackled by the rules that have been forced down their throats. They might say “You don’t know how to have fun”, while I say “You don’t know how to have fun AT WORK.”
And yes, it could have been the pheromones today, but yesterday - a day I wore cheap body spray and did not wear any pheromones at all - is more of the kind of day I’ve been hoping to have as the result of wearing pheromones and (somewhat) expensive cologne. I wish I could remember when I took my shower on monday and exactly what time I had those great “after effects” (?) on tuesday.
Here’s a sample phonecall (today, wednseday)… and if I remember correctly, I got 5 similar calls today but this was the longest…
Nurse: “Pete, where ARE you, I need you now.”
Me: “I’m busy right now. I can be there in 5 or 10 minutes.”
Nurse: “So you’ll come in 5 minutes?”
Me: “Yes… (thinking and then playing along…) just for you, I’ll come in 5 minutes.”
Nurse: “OK, but you’re going to have to spend more than just 5 minutes with ME, honey. Once you’re with ME, I guarantee you’ll work at least 2 hours.”
Me: “Hey, you know EVERYONE wants me. I’ll come now, but if someone else wants me to come too, you’re just going to have to share.”
Nurse: “Well I need you NOW.”
Me: “I’m coming now.”
Nurse: “Say that again… (husky voice) louder.”
Me: “I, ah, I charge extra for that.”
Nurse: “Oh… Mmmm… (ha!) I have to go before I get into trouble.”
Me: “Tell everyone I’m coming in five minutes.”
Nurse: “(To everyone in the area) Hey, Gabe says it will only take 5 minutes for him to come.”
(Muffled words and laughter in the background…)
Me:“THANKS A LOT. Bye”
Nurse: “Bye, honey.”
Thursday, 31 August
“You know, I called in sick all week because I didn’t want to work with you.”
“Yeah, I figured that. SOooo… why’d you stop calling in?”
…
She was taken aback by my flip answer. You see, I’ve heard in two psychology classes that when someone insults you in a humorous way, they really mean what they’re saying. So she really DID call in sick because she didn’t want to work with me, or it was at least a contributing factor. And I would have been content if she kept calling in. I gave her the cold shoulder and did not help her in any way all day. Today was uneventful other than my initial confrontation and subsequent, obvious avoidance of the gossip. The guys I work with helped me out, and she ended up working mostly without me as they ran interference and I conveniently disappeared when possible. Also I was told early in the morning (by a male) that I “…must have spilled that bottle of cologne on yourself this morning - you got that slick Rick thing goin’ on with the cologne and hairgel.” Nothing like being cut down politely by a friend. I really do need a haircut and I did overdo it with the Armani, but figured it would fade by the time I got to work. Apparently I was wrong.
I’m really tired of wearing the same thing all the time so next week I’m buying some sample bottles from Smartmones, a small bottle of Liquid Trust from Love Scent or Liquidtrust.com, and also a variety of Tag & Axe body sprays…
…and getting a frickin haircut so I can cut back on the hairgel. As of right now I throw on a ballcap the minute I leave the hospital, to cover up my Afro.
Does anyone know a good website where I can buy a variety of decants, inexpensively? I’d like to spend less than $50 on at least 4 colognes.
I’m going to try adding an extra drop of NPA on my pubic hair right now (8pm) and skip the shower tomorrow morning before work. I’ll also skip the cologne and go with Tag Body Spray.
Friday, September 1st
… was uneventful other than me getting to know a few more female coworkers on another shift.
Tuesday September 5th
I worked over the three day labor day weekend and each day was unremarkable. I also took a break from wearing pheromones over the weekend, but wore them on monday.
Today, Tuesday, I wore 2 drops/dabs/whatever of NPA on my chest and 2 drops of A314 - one behind each ear. Sick of my routine, I also sprayed 1 spray of Instant Shine on each side of my neck and 1 spray of Instant Honesty on each forearm. I noticed throughout the day that the closer I stood to one of my coworkers, the friendlier and more talkative he became. He was overly friendly. I also noticed that a hot, petite brunette ER nurse who I’ve seen several times would flip her hair in my direction whenever she walked by me. She did this twice, and apparently just had her hair styled. I should have said something (about the new haircut) but I was too busy observing what was going on around me. I imagine that habit could become an issue when I “get back in the game”, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’m just throwing that info out there for those of you who think that all body language is meaningful, but without more context, I’m uncomfotable judging her behavior. I did have the chance to observe her interacting with 6 other men in the course of ten minutes while I was waiting to see a patient – I counted one smile, 5 nods, and no other hair flips. There were no other guys similar to me around, so I couldn’t observe her behavior with other short 30-something guys or guys with black hair. Interesting. Hmmm… I have a few male coworkers who are also (relatively) short with black hair, so I’ll try to watch her around them in the future. The day was otherwise uneventful until I spent some time alone with “The Gossip” about 7 hours later.
I wanted to see if I could get her to talk but also wanted to steer the conversation away from myself. So when we were standing off to the sides by ourselves, I leaned one arm against a wall that the gossip had her back to, putting my Instant-Honesty-soaked-arm was within 2 feet of her face. Then I started counting… one mississipi, two mississipi… and when I hit twenty Mississipi, she started talking shit about every doctor within 50 miles. She didn’t stop for twenty minutes, and then stepped away to work. When she came back to my spot 4 minutes later, she was silent for a few minutes, but another “twenty mississipis” after I worked my arm back into position, she started talking again. 35 minutes later, and with just a little encouragement, I knew all about her family issues and which surgeons not to use. So here’s the question, the one some of you are getting tired of seeing me write down… “But was it the pheromones?”
Keep in mind, she IS a gossip. That’s what she is known for. And I was egging her on, asking many questions because I did not want to end up as the subject of our discussion. To me it was all BS, but I played along as if I was hanging on her every word - so I don’t know if it was JUST the pheromones or if they were even part of the equation. The pheromones may have helped, and they may not have. They may have served as an extra bit of motivation, but then again they may not have. I tried to encourage feelings of comraderie by purposefully leaning towards her and nodding whenever she said something I thought was meaningful to her. I touched her whenever I asked a question, and raised my voice whenever I agreed with her… I played her like a fiddle – but again, I don’t know 100% if Instant Honesty helped. All I know is that everything I did was successful, and I know Instant Honesty makes me Gabby as hell so I kept my hands away from my face all day. Bottom line: my own reactions to IH and the ease I had in working this woman makes me think that IH gave me an edge but it is impossible to quantify or pin down exactly how much of an edge it gave me. I should also mention the fact that I wore IS on my neck and stood very close to her could ALSO have been part of the equation, but since it doesn’t effect me positively, I’m uncomfortable in judging how or if it effected her.
Wednesday, September 6th
Today was an insane day at work as far as technical and scheduling issues went. I spent the day putting out fires and did not do much observing or have any time for social interactions / observation, but it did not matter. I noticed some dramatic effects on myself today, and I think it was from Instant Shine. I wore the same combo as I did yesterday – I2 drops/dabs/whatever of NPA on my chest, 2 drops of A314 - one behind each ear, 1 spray of Instant Shine on each side of my neck and 1 spray of Instant Honesty on each forearm. Again I noticed that the closer I stood to one of my coworkers, the friendlier and more talkative he became. Today I also noticed he is a whiney little SOB, and I will be keeping my distance from now on. Why do people constantly complain to me? Don’t tell me it’s the frickin pheromones…
As far as the effects of Instant Shine on me, I did not like them and I’m assuming Instant Shine was the culprit based on other peoples reports of its effects. I found myself climbing stairs or walking hallways alone and laughing aloud for no reason at all. I had to constantly contain myself all morning, or I would have spent half the day laughing like a little girl - for no frickin reason at all. I found myself smiling at people I didn’t know, again for no particular reason whatsoever. The effect was contagious, as you would expect, but I felt like a damned candy-assed idiot. Just call me “Giddy”.
I resented the loss of control, and then spent all evening depressed and contemplating odd - make that VERY odd, SCARY things like whether or not I should consider dating short fat women instead of dieting and exercising… so I’m swearing off Instant Shine forever. I have a (HOT) friend who I’m sure will appreciate my pheromone-laden package which will be shipped out at the end of this week.
If you hadn’t noticed, resenting this feeling of loss of control is a recurring theme for me. I hate Instant Honesty and now that I finally know Instant Shine works on me too, I hate it also… in exactly the same way that I hate the drunk feeling that too much alcohol gives me. And “drunk” is a close approximation to how it made me feel. Why? The ultimate reason is one for the psychologists, but I’m willing to go so far as to say it’s because I like to keep a close reign on both my feelings and actions. My reasons are just that - MY reasons… it’s personal and I won’t discuss it.
So todays verdict: Instant Shine works if you give it time. It took - what? THREE weeks for me to notice the effects? Four, maybe? And I had to clear my system of the effects of stimulants before i noticed anything. It makes me think that The Gossip could have been reacting to both IH and IS yesterday (not to mention the A314 & NPA) Anyhow, I’m now through with IS. That part of my little experiment is complete and I don’t intend to revisit it, no matter how bored I get. For now I’m going back to NPA and A314 and I’m actually skipping NPA altogether tomorrow due to the high stress/ insane expectations of tomorrows work schedule. It’s going to be pretty whacked to begin with, so why encourage more wackiness?
…
I can’t sleep so I am brainstorming here – I’m still leaning towards a purchase of Liquid Trust from Love Scent next week. I was going to buy my pheromones friday evening but have decided to wait on y’alls input and to do some serious reading up on pheromones this weekend. I am switching to an old-school 1950’s style, back-to-basics diet and Powerlifting program this month along with refocusing on bicycling. I will be spending a lot of time on my exercise bike, watching TV while getting away from the depressing “skinless chicken breast - centric” diet and staying away from supplements that alter my mood and metabolism.
I’m undecided on what to buy from Smartmones… Instant Openness and Instant Female Magic sound like strong possibilities - and buying sample sized bottles is a distinct possibility due to my budget. After I get back into shape I’m definitely buying a sample of Ammunition for wearing on the weekends but for now I’m sticking with “just friends” and “office grade” pheromones for routine use, since I wear them to work. I will be the only male on the majority of my shift next week, and will be surrounded by older women in their 50’s with a gaggle of 20-something cuties on a later, overlapping shift and of course I am in and out of contact with (sometimes frickin hot, female) nurses of all ages, all day every day. So I think A314 + NPA is a keeper (until my supply runs out) and I need to see what else is on Smartmones ever-evolving menu of pheromones. I also need to actually do some research for once, and see if Liquid Trust and Instant Openness would be redundant purchases. Without doing any research, I think A314+NPA+Liquid Trust+ Instant Female Magic would be a good risk-free combo, but when I run out of A314 and NPA, I will be left with just LT+IFM. Will THAT be a decent combo for keeping the ladies warm and friendly without me being considered “one of the girls”? I want to get in with all the women and then gradually cherry-pick which one(s) to work on in a few months. I’m looking at starting to date in january/february at the earliest, so there’s no rush, but I don’t want to get categorized as being just one of the girls and I think that Ammunition will be a strong aid for this strategy later on. I might also buy a sample of Turn Up The Heat for applying at the times when I know or find that I’ll be working with someone I’m interested in. All right, so now I’m definitely buying samples of Turn Up The Heat and Ammunition for occasional use. I might limit my use of Liquid trust to spradic use also. Now I’m back to deciding on what to buy for daily use. A314 and IFM? IO? What about the new A314 variants? I’d like to buy something that is not an oil, so I can mix it up in an atomizer with cologne and spray it on consistantly, every day. I also would like something that lasts 12+ hours or at least does not convert significantly over that period of time. I think I need help with this decision - at the very least on what NOT to buy. I’m limiting my purchase to $60 so I am leaning towards sample or small bottles and will hold off on Ammunition and TUTH for the moment - strictly for financial reasons. Heck, i might just buy some Test and apply that topically, when I’m ready to start dating. Any suggestions on a new daily work mix for being around a variety of women? Any observations on different A314 variations? I’d like to make my order on tuesday morning, so please don’t hold back.
Thursday September 7th.
I only wore A314 today and work was insane. Got a look of total, complete, 100% unadulterated disdain when I said hello to the RN who DIHL’d the other day. If she had a weapon, i got the impression she would have used it on me. Otherwise, an uneventful day.
Friday September 8th.
I was supposed to start work at 8am and got a freaked out phonecall at 7:50 am asking me where the F— I was, things were going all to hell. I didn’t leave until 13 hrs later. The ER was frickin insane. Other, let’s say “related” departments were completely unhinged by noon.The hospital network crashed completely, too, after 8pm. When I left work it was obvious why the day went so badly… Full, Blood-Red Moon.
No hits. No warm fuzzies either. I’d like to forget today.
Edit: As a matter of fact the day was so insane that I almost forgot that days single, solitary “semi-hit”. I had been in the ER talking to two cute nurses. An asian one was particularly friendly and i hadn’t met her before. i walked around the corner and then stopped to write something down. I was no more than 15 feet away when I heard…
“He wouldn’t -murmur-mumble-blah-blah- if he wasn’t so FAT.”
followed by,
“Yeah, he IS cute.”