Her emails smile at me: Does she love me or what?

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
1

Hi Ladies,

I’ve using some pheromones on a target at work.

She always talks to me etc etc

I just want to know what it means when she uses a smile emoticon in our email chats at work.

here is an example;

I’ve taken out the names for security (neva know who reads this sh!t)
read from bottom up

From: Leah
Sent: Tuesday, November 27, 2007 11:07 AM
To: C
Subject: RE:
Sensitivity: Confidential

Yes, your emails break up my day nicely J I have to go return my holiday party dress today. I’m so sick of finding a dress. The one I got has a little hole in it. grr

From: C
Sent: Tuesday, November 27, 2007 11:02 AM
To: Leah
Subject: RE:
Importance: High
Sensitivity: Confidential

Figured that right after sending the email. I didn’t think I was bothering you because you like talking to me.

From: Leah
Sent: Tuesday, November 27, 2007 10:58 AM
To: C
Subject: RE:
Sensitivity: Confidential

I just got out of a meeting. Things are good with my boss again though J

2

You won’t like this, but you did ask. Without knowing anything about her other than what she just wrote, I’d say she sounds like a very young girl without much going on upstairs, and the smiley faces are just an empty-headed cutesy little add-on that she probably throws into everything. Because they’re soooo cute!!!

To be honest with you, I haven’t known anyone, male or female, who’s used smiley faces past 5th grade, so I might be a bad person to ask.

3

(snort) We use them in here all the time. See :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: Anyways sometimes a smile is just a smile. Its a way of giving your email or post a certain vibe so that people are aware of how a person is coming across.

When you talk to someone face to face you get to see there facial expressions. So if I said…

Your a pain in my ass :smiley:

Its alot different then saying

Your a pain in my ass.

But on to your question clim. I wouldnt say she loves you. She is just using the smileys to express herself better. I do think she is probably interested in you though.

Tisha

4

Welllll… :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

Tisha is right. It probably would’ve made a difference if Leah’s emails had said something different. I mean, look at everything Tisha’s posts say! So I still think she sounds empty-headed, but I’ll apologize and revise my answer.

It sounds like she’s trying to come up with things to make conversation about, even if all she can think up is to tell you she has to return a dress. If she’s not very bright, this may be the best she can do and may very well be an attempt at flirting with you. If she’s smarter than she sounds, then I wouldn’t consider it flirting - it’s not exactly witty repartee, you know? :roll_eyes: But if I remember correctly, you weren’t a guy who’s too interested in a deep meaningful relationship, right? So she might be the perfect girl for you.

I don’t know if you watch The Office, but this reminds me of an episode where Michael made everyone listen to a voicemail from Jan and then analyze it. In the spirit of that, let me just say that maybe her mention of dress shopping was designed to make you think of her looking hot and desirable in her new purchase. In which case you should definitely think she was flirting with you. :smiley:

5

ROFL

I am not sure if your talking about me or Leah :smiley:

(see another example if i left the smiley off some people may think I was pissed, of course I am not :wink: )

Tisha

6

Even when I get my androtics orders, I get little drawn smiley faces on my receipt! :slight_smile: :smiley:

7

that’s cuz Jasmin loves us! :smiley::o :smiley::stuck_out_tongue:

8

Ehm, well. Don’t book the wedding band just yet. She’s just flirting. Smilies are pretty standard in certain work environments. While some work and social groups look at you as if you just fell off the kinnygarden bus if you use them, others take offense if you make a little joke or say hi without using a long string of smilies and write LOL all over the place.:slight_smile::slight_smile::slight_smile::slight_smile::slight_smile::slight_smile::slight_smile: LOLOLOLOLZzzzzzzz!!! I use a winky emoticon a lot in my emails, just so people know when I’m trying to be arch or using a drier style of humor.

I wouldn’t say she loves you. She likes you, clearly. Which is a great start. Flirt back and see where things go.

9

:open_mouth: EEK!

Talking about you as the one with intelligent thoughts, of course! That should go without saying!

Pretty soon I’m going to get so good with the smileys I’ll be the one who sounds like I fell off the kinnygarden bus! :slight_smile: (Thank you for that, Kitten, it was perfecto! Exactly what I meant! I’m going to have you write all my posts in the future!)

:slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

10

she’s actually extremely smart

she graduated high school at age 14, that’s wild

I know she doesn’t love me.

also, she’s married and in an open relationship with her husband, they both are free to engage in ‘outside activities’

which leah has made known to me more than once

however she hasn’t exactly directly appointed that as something she and i will do.

i hope it does though, as i’d like to ‘ravage her’ in a good way if i get the opp

my thing is how do i hint that i would like to get physically involved with her, but save face just in case she says no, as i am in a work environment and dont want to put myself out there, and come up short.

we went to lunch the other day, just she and i on monday, and i dont know how it happened, but i opened my car door for her

after lunch i put her coat on for her, and i opened the car door for her when we left the restaurant as well

she allowed me to do so, so my common sense says for her to let me do that, and not say “i can do it myself, or it’s ok, or even you don’t have to do that” seems to say that she’s feeling me at more than a co-worker way

again, i know you women are tricky when it comes to that stuff so i figured i’d ask

anyhow I was out sick yesterday and will be out today also, so those emails i showed you were done from her at work to me at home. i reached out to her first because she didnt have my email addy.

i cant wait to go back tomorrow, because i will get my first use of my androtics order at work. (i bough IS to go, and a bottle of A314 oil)

please comment on this post, and also advise what androtic product i should hit her with when i return to work tomorrow.

11

here’s the latest:

she was actually inquiring to my friend about me, I don;t like that, but i love that he was a soldier about it, in terms of how he handled her;

remember, read from the bottom up.

then give me your thoughts. all this is about to make me lay off though. too much drama, for nothing imo.

From: Leah
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 10:02 AM
To: Alan
Subject: RE:

Haha ok.

Leah

From: Alan
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 10:02 AM
To: Leah
Subject: RE:

I have no clue and that’s the truth. He probably just had a good time from the last time we were out with you guys

From: Leah
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 10:00 AM
To: Alan
Subject: RE:

I dunno, he asked me out for drinks the other night. I wanted to find out from you what his deal was. C’mon you know something.

Leah

From: Alan
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 9:59 AM
To: Leah
Subject: RE:

No, not unless you would want me to. What’s up?

From: Leah
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 9:57 AM
To: Alan
Subject: RE:

You’re going to tell him anything I tell you right?

Leah

From: Alan
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 9:45 AM
To: Leah
Subject: RE:

What do you mean we are in cahoots? C is a pretty private guy so he doesn’t tell me much. Why what’s up?

From: Leah
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 9:41 AM
To: Alan
Subject:

Hey Alan,

Does C talk to you about me? It seems like you guys are in cahoots!

And he’s always emailing me – I just want to find out his intentions. I’m sure you know.

So spill it!

Leah

12

Hey clim

Did you notice there are no smileys in her emails to Alan ?

I would just take it slow and careful. Your in a work enviroment. If your going to make a move dont do it at work or on there computers.

I think some good products would be of course the A314 you have been wearing and maybe some IH.

Or you could heat it up a little and wear some Ammo and IH but I still suggest not makeing a move when at work. On lunch, out of the office, off the clock would probably be safest.

Tisha

13

I think her not rejecting your door opening/coat-putting on behavior was just a normal response and good manners on her part, and you shouldn’t read any particular interest into it.

The fact that she told you several times about her open marriage is a big sign, bigger than any of the other things you’ve mentioned.

If you’re looking for confirmation of her feelings toward you, notice what kind of eye contact or physical contact she gives you. Does she flirt with you, use innuendo? If not, I’d say she’s not currently interested and you’ll need to increase your own flirtation to get her interested; you need to show some initiative here - it’s quite possible to be so slow and passive you’ll miss your moment and she’ll write you off.

In general, having an affair with a married woman (even if it is an open marriage) won’t win you any points in the workplace so tread carefully.

edit: ok, just read the last bunch of emails. She’s interested, and not terribly discreet. Good luck :wink: and get your resume in shape.

14

carrie!

lol

i just got the job!
but what about the email made you change your mind saying she’s interested? I gotta learn this stuff, what did you see, I mean you even went as far as saying that she’s not too discreet about it either.

let me know

but on the other part i will slow my roll at work, not say too much, and wait till an opp opens up outside work, ie happy hour. as far as at work, i’ll let my A314 do the work, and I’ll just play the part, more the alpha silent type going forward. can’t wait to hit the entire work place with the shine too!

15

She’s asking your friend what your interest in her is … she probably wouldn’t do that unless she’s interested in you herself, especially since she knows it will get back to you. If she were NOT interested in you that way, she would have clued your friend in to that, again, knowing it would get back to you.

It’s indiscreet of her to talk to your friend about it - particularly if he also works for the same company (you didn’t say).

16

Good Plan.

I agree with Carrie, there is some interest or she would have never even thought to talk to Alan about you.

17

Not sure if you want my opinion, but I’ll give it anyway -

I agree with you that you’re going to be asking for drama. It’s very indiscreet for her to engage in a high school-y “does your friend like me?” kind of thing in the workplace. Indiscreet, immature, and unprofessional. If you hook up with her, there’s no doubt in my mind that everyone’s going to know about it.

Without knowing her, I have no way to know if she likes you or just likes drama and attention. Some women love being desired, and really enjoy flirting and leading men on. I agree with Carrie that accepting courteous attention like opened doors or help with her coat doesn’t mean anything, but you can look for other signs. In my experience it’s usually pretty obvious when someone’s sending you signals, and if you’re returning them or initiating ones of your own, it’s going to escalate to a point where you’re not unsure anymore. The ambiguity only comes in when one or both of you are holding back for some reason. You don’t have to jump right in by putting your hand on her thigh or anything, but if you make a small gesture and she returns it with one of her own, you can gradually build on that until there’s no question she’s interested. Eye contact is always a pretty sure thing.

But if this is a brand new job, it seems like a red flag that she so quickly let you know she’s in an open marriage. It’s not something that should come up in normal business conversation for sure, but it’s pretty unusual for it to come up in casual friendly conversation either, particularly with a new acquaintance. It’s extremely intentionally provocative, so you need to figure out why. Is she testing you, trying to shock you, looking for general attention, questioning her own attractiveness, or making a move on you? Or maybe there are other possibilities. I guess I’d want to figure out what she was up to. Even if you’re a guy who’s not normally too selective about who he hooks up with, this is a work situation, so you should probably think it over before acting. It sounds pretty… unusual. Even if she were single it’d be a good idea to be careful, just because it’s your job, but she’s got other baggage attached too, so I’d tread carefully.

18

she informed both alan and myself a few fridays back while we were at happy hour as far as the open marriage thing goes…

19

Okay, that’s interesting …

If she told both of you, she might be interested in both of you, or in him. To be honest with you, emailing him to let him know you’re showing interest in her could be her flirting with him. If you follow me. Letting one guy know that another guy wants you is a classic, and very effective, flirting move.

Her innocent emails to you (boring … dress shopping) could be an attempt on her part to string you along and keep your attention level high enough while she uses you to bait Alan.

Keep in mind I’ve never seen any of these people. If you’re a cute guy and Alan is a fat stinky old man with warts, what I suggested isn’t so likely. But going entirely on the information you’ve provided, it’s a possibility.

20

also, it doesn’t quite seem to me that she was asking my friend do i like her as she never directly asked him that.

“why beat around the bush?” is all i want to know.