How did you get over him?
Is your current husband better then him, or does your first love still have a place in your heart that ever your current husband can’t fill?
The same way men get over it. One day at a time.
Its not a question of “better” but he is better suited for me. We connect more. I like him more which is just as important in a relationship as love. Of course I do love him as well. Did you know you could love a person you dont like ? They are two very different emotions.
I am not sure why your asking but your questions really dont speak of love. They speak of ego. There is no competition for who gets more when it comes to love. The “heart” has a ever abundant flow of it so questions like
Who do you love better ?
Why dont you love me more ?
Is your love for me bigger then your love for someone else ?
All these are ego speaking not love. The ego brings these fears and hurts into play. Love is something that is given without expecting anything in return or placing conditions on it. Its something that never ceases. Its not separate from itself. You dont have to empty one space in your soul to fill it with another. Your soul just grows as more love comes in.
Picture love like a ocean. Take a glass and scoop up some water from it. Did it leave a hole ? Now go pour your glass of water back into it. Did it fill a hole. Wait 5 minutes and now go back and get your glass of water. You cant because water is not separate from itself. Sure you can get some water but its not your water. That’s what love is like.
So your question is really unanswerable in truth. My love for my husband is unconditional. If he walked out tomorrow I would still love him. My ego would be bruised. I would be pissed at him and I would be hurt but that love would still remain. No one could fill some imaginary spot where his love would go because love encompasses all of the soul and you dont have to make room for more. Just like water when you take it out it doesn’t leave a hole. Your ego may be telling you there is a hole but that is just hurt and fear
You dont truly get it until you have kids. You dont love one more then the other its impossible. You may like one more then the other or feel more connected with one or the other but that love for both of them remains ever present unconditional. I think when we are little kids we get it but then as we grow our egos begin to over shadow love and we lose the purity of it. They again dont love one parent over another. They may like one more or connect with one more but again that love in unconditional and ever flowing.
I know you got more then you bargained for with my answer. I’m just not the yes no type. Life always go’s much deeper then those two words LOL 
Tisha
Seems like there’s more to this than curiosity, Michael. Maybe a little more info will help the ladies answer what you really want to know? If it’s too personal and you need to talk to somebody my PM is always open and if it has to be a woman, Tisha seems helpful. 
dont quote me on this but i think most girls get over it with a tub of hagan daaz and a rebound. so to answer your question, you have been replaced…by chunky chocolate splash, and a guy named bruce
Well, to be honest, my mind was just lurking, because I’ve talked to a couple of girls, right after their first love ended a relationship with them, and they can’t stop being sad, and a lot of times people say that “you never get over your first love, because he has a special place in your heart”. I just wondered if they would ever be okay. If they would come to a point in time where their first love that hurt them by leaving them doesn’t matter anymore. Or are they going to be eternally bound to missing someone that doesn’t feel the same way about them, anymore?
Admit it - us guys get over it like that too. With a case of beer and a girl named Mindy. (who is in a magazine)
her name was cindy and i got a papercut
Everybody is different. I know some women who have such strong feelings for their first love that it’s actually unhealthy for them because they still see him as that boy they once loved, and it hinders them from appreciating the life they have built for themselves. I want to say “it’s been over a decade, move on already”, but I don’t of course because it’s a matter of the heart. The heart wants what it wants. Your heart can blind and deceive you to the truth, and you just have to be there for them, and one day they see the reality that had been veiled by their feelings for what it really is. The grass always looks greener. I’m talking about people who just won’t be happy until they learn to let go.
My first love will always have a special place in my heart. We were too young to have sex. The first guy I had sex with was not my first love and I really don’t care about him. I saw my first love on facebook. It’s not that I miss him because I don’t. I can’t help but to feel love for him and for his beautiful children when I see their pictures. I’m proud of him for the beautiful life that he has made for himself and for the great man that he became. I even feel a secret satisfaction that he ended up leaving NY and moved to the vacation area where we met and fell in love. I always wanted to move there too, but I couldn’t because of my husband’s work. I think I will always have feelings of affection for him. His wife and my husband have nothing to worry about. I just want what’s best for our families. I am very much aware that my husband still has feelings for his first love. Like me, he also never had sex with his first love. I know he still has feelings of affection for other girls he dated before me. He would never admit it to me, but I can see it in his eyes and in the way his speech changes a little when he speaks about them. I understand it because I have experienced it myself, it doesn’t bother me or make me feel insecure.
Not to sound cold but I think we get over our first or whoever it is we feel we couldn’t let go off once we get someone better.
If he is better in bed then even better. I think all this talk and pretend about women being all emotional and sensitive is just what it is a pretense.
We women can be just as fast to move on as men are but society and sometimes just wanting to seem sensitive makes it seem that way.
Of course, everyone is different but overall we women are not that complicated, if you crack the code for one you crack the code for all.
I might get beaten up about this post but hey, why not tell the truth when you can. Life is short. 
…Love your words Tisha. Those words just answered a part of what I’ve been dealing with for six years. What is love and ego? The differences and why we human feel that way. Great answers! Appreciate it a lot!
Couldnt agree more. A good book to read is the “Mastery of Love”. It explains everything in depth.
Hmm… I gotta disagree here. Let me tell you why. It may be true that a woman can get over a man the same way as a man can get over a woman, but that says nothing about all of the underlying emotions that go along with it. Yes men can crack the code of women. It’s been done. Push this button, pull this lever, turn this knob and wallah the door opens. Except you do it over and over again with the same woman to just get to an end result and wham the door shuts on you. Why because you were just going through the motions without feeling or connecting. Men and women are not the same. Not even close. The masculine essence will tell you what they want and how they want it. The feminine will expect you to know or discover it on your own.
I think that this is evident in this site.I believe it’s one of the reasons that the men spend so much time testing molecules verses women who seem to find something that works for them and they keep it. We respond differently.
Just read Tisha’s response. It’s not just great writing. It has a feminine flow to it. Women respond to life from a different source than men do. I have recently discovered this and it has greatly helped my relationship with my wife and my daughter. It’s something I can’t understand, although I want to. The truth is it’s not for me to understand, but for me to love and enjoy that difference.
Not trying to beat you up Mickaela. Obviously I enjoy your posts. Please don’t get sensitive or emotional about it.
I agree with this men and women are not the same. I feel its opposite… its not that women are pretending to be all sensitive and emotional. I think the age of feminism has made them pretend they are not. Women are taught that its weak and if they want to be equal to men they have to mask that part of themselves and in doing so they lose their greatest power. They lose themselves.
My truth is I dont want to be like a man. Nothing against men LOL I love men and our differences. I like when my husband hands me a tissue when I cry in a movie and teases me. I like that when I am getting emotional he is there to ground me and when he is getting emotive or distant I am there to ground him. Its our difference that make us one not are simularities. Just like a mans physical side gives him a certain power so does a womens emotional side. They may be different types of power but they compliment each other.
Holy shit you got it. So many people waste to much time trying to understand it. You dont have to understand it just love repect and enjoy the difference.
I dont believe if you crack one code you crack them all. I think we all have our own special code and most people never even crack there own let alone cracking someone elses. I think it far more important to crack your own.
Tisha
In order to advance in “Evolution of Reincarnation” and “Wheel of life” one has to let go all things, if that is possible, and face new opportunities, challenges and so on. Unfortunately not everyone can do that. Getting over losing their first is no different. Likewise, gEtting emotional and caught up in different worldly things also hinder THE process. Some people just have harder time, and we just have to accept it.
I think a lot of people in general latch onto their first love because
a) it typically happens during a less complicated, more innocent, more optimistic stage of their lives (aka youth)
and
b) essentially your first love is the person who “teaches” you to love another in that romantic context. Realizing that you love another person is a huge experience akin to that of spending a week in a deserted jungle. You can’t help, but bond to the person you’re with (or kill them lol!!)
But I also think a lot of people don’t get over their first love because they spend the rest of their lives trying to find that exact same love again and replace it… and that’s not how it works. All loves are different and unique because people are different and unique.
Ha! my heart flipped when I read this. Honestly this has taken some serious internal discovery over the last few months. Mones were the beginning.Thanks to this forum and a book recommended from here called “The Way of the Superior Man” I finally got that part. My wife is so much happier now. She is free to be completely herself. She has her glow back, which lifts me more than any mone self effect can.
I appreciate your feedback sweets. I am not offended.
I’m your age so I can’t give a ton of wise perspective, however I may have some not so good news for you if this is a situation you’re currently dealing with.
I met my first love 5 years ago. And I have to say, if I could be with anyone (and since him I HAVE been in love btw), it would be him. Oh and I also saw him only once in the past 5 years, about 6 months ago. Hardest but also most magical 2 days of my life. 
Thinking of him doesn’t bring me sadness, it brings me warm memories and a teensy bit of longing. I’ll always love him at least a little bit I’m sure, I’ll always wonder “what if…?”, but I do have the capability to move on. Good luck
Wow, cynical much? Some of us realize that would be a poor plaster patch over a water leak, and happily spend more time with/on ourselves. I’ve never had a fling; I knew it wasn’t what I wanted nor would it get me what I wanted, so why bother? Then again I was always so shy I was oblivious to all such possibilities – I actually thought those backrubs were just “friendly.” 
Not met me yet then?
IME it is more like, lots of alcohol, drugs, partying, bitching to anyone who will listen then plenty of no-strings sex with a merry-go-round of partners before taking-up with and royally fucking over some guy who actually likes them before running straight back to the first one or someone very like them at a drop of a hat! 