Actually, avoiding compliments is just as bad; the point is to compliment honestly about traits most people don’t notice or at least characteristics that most people don’t mention. If a guy says something about my boobs, my over all shape, or overtly states some indication of interest (“yur hawt” or “heyyy sexy/baby”), I immediately dismiss him as a sleaze. No accommodation allowed for intoxication, either. On the other hand, avoiding compliments makes me think (a.) you’re not interested in me as a person, (b.) you’re playing a ‘game’, or (c.) both.
How about don’t ‘act as a MAN should’, just act as a human should, or if you like, a true gentleman.
about that compliment stuff: it’s like sky and ground, nightgame and daygame. Avoid complimenting girls in clubs or bars at first as she will know what’s happening when you approach her - that’s what heard, I hate nightgaming, so don’t take this for granted.
However, Outside, if you’re a daygamer, you should compliment her immediately after the approach, honestly and nicely, don’t raise her up to a podest tho. “Hey. Just noticed you and think you have really nice style.”(If you like her clothes for example). Or compliment her hair, it doesn’t really matter unless you choose regions to compliment you should keep for later
Complimenting after the approach is important during daygame because she will be like “who the f** is this guy and what does he want? Is he flirting, or does he want to sell me something? I wish he gave me a hint!*”.
Hope this helped! You can’t just generally go out and say complimenting should be avoided. It solely depends on whether it’s day- or nightgame!
Guys, I would love a quick opinion on this if possible and if it’s from a female poster even better.
There’s a girl I quite like at the moment and I kind of get the vibe she likes me too. I know her maybe a month now, she has given me some signs that she could be attracted. The other week when greeting me, she playfully punched me on the arm and she has before played with my hair briefly and then smiled at me when I looked at her. I get a few good vibes now and again. Could be IOI’s right? Just in terms of breaking that physical contact barrier. I’m no expert on this however.
Tomorrow or asap I want to use a line that lets her know I’m interested, puts it into her mind.
I saw a girl at the bus stop today that looked a bit similar to her in ways. I was thinking of maybe mentioning this to her but then adding something like “she ain’t got nothing on you though” and then smiling.
I amen’t brilliant at this sort of thing, it’s just a thought that popped into my head, a way of showing interest.
Since it’s been a month already my guess would be that you’re in the friends zone (as she gave IOI at the beginning but you didn’t take action and she thought you wouldn’t want her). Those IOI you kinda get in the friendzone too occasionally, but let other posters advise you. She may as well be into you. Why don’t you just go for it?
I say just go for it, and ask if she wants to spend time with you! Suggest some occasion to hang out, even if it’s just to grab something to eat/drink
If you are unsure she will react positively, flirt more and you will probably get your answer. Oftentimes I will play with guys’ hair just because I like to (lol) but what makes the difference between friendship and flirting is the sexual tension. So build it up a little - maybe stand a little closer to her when you’re talking, give her a little more eye contact, let your legs touch lightly if you’re sitting next to each other, etc. Playful but not over-the-top. If she appears uncomfortable and pulls back, so should you. If not, bite the bullet and let her know directly that you are interested. It seems like she is interested in you though.
The bus stop story is good, but a one-off that doesn’t really go anywhere. It might make her say, ‘oh really?’ but that’s probably about it. Better to have something in common to bond over, like a band or a hobby. If you’re going to compliment her, be more direct. Just make sure it’s genuine.
Thanks for the replies. As for the friendzone, I obviously don’t want that to happen but those IOIs she gave didn’t exactly happen at the beginning, like it’s still more recently than strictly the beginning as you put it yourself Mysterion.
However, Mysterion you summed up exactly the thing I’m most worried about. The fact that maybe I’m not showing enough back to her as she is me. I wouldn’t like to waste this if I feel myself she is interested. I’m not consciously not returning emotion, maybe I am returning a few signs but it could be due to my personality. She is a more chatty, bubbly, extroverted character than me no doubt. I want to return those signs, they’re happening inside of me but I’m not conveying them as well as possible.
Thanks Spinach. The thing is, today I was actually standing a bit behind and away from her. She was standing next to another girl. She retreated back until we were right beside each other for a while and she was quieter for that period, I made a bit of an effort to move closer to her too after she moved back. To be honest at a few times, I’ve noticed her openly staring at me, like clearly not hiding this fact and another time I turned around suddenly and saw her looking at me but then quickly making it look as if she wasn’t.
I think I definitely to be more overt and take the lead here for a change, more open eye contact and doing the brushing past, feat stuff as you suggested.
that problem ain’t gonna be solved if you just throw IOI back. The best you can do is go up to her, approach her when she’s alone and start to flirt. That’s the best sign you can give and combines the emotion with action.
Cus if you just throw the IOI back at her she’ll know you’re interested and then what? One of you has to take action.
It always pains me to see this “both too shy to make a step” as I experienced it myself. Just…go!
Yeah, I get you. What do you suggest flirting wise? Any advice? I had in mind that sentence about the bus, but not sure to use it now after Spinach’s post. I know, I know, that hesitation makes me look shy again :o
This is an adventure. Live it Imo you should neither plan the location nor the outcome nor what you will say.
I suggest when you see her walking alone, you step in front of her confidently, say “Hey” (give her a moment before you continue to talk, she has to ‘switch’ mode between alone and attentive) and make her a compliment. You may as well meet her at the bus stop or in the bus, it all doesn’t matter. Don’t plan every detail though. And don’t forget to approach her with the mind set “She’s into me. I will definitely get her.”. Please tell us how it went! But again, don’t plan too much. Flirting is about being spontaneous. There’s the flaw: if you plan what to say, what to do, and where to do it you’re thinking logically. But you need to switch your state of mind to the complete opposite side. Approaching her spontaneously is the first step in that direction!
That makes sense. I agree with you about the spontaneous nature. I think I’m capable of flirting well, I’ll see what happens but I will get going straight away!
All these “signs a woman is interested in you” seem to revolve around new or short-term relationships. Here is something I have not seen mentioned before in any body language discussions, and relates to a woman I have worked closely with for 4 years.
I get on extremely well with her; we are both single, and over the last 4 months she has started paying a lot of attention to me, with banter, touching my arm, shoulder, playfully scolding me, etc.
On two occasions recently, she mentioned something irritating her face, and I could see that the first time it was a piece of fluff, and the second time a small lock of her hair that had fallen forwards. Each time, I reached over with my hand, and gently stroked her cheek, to remove the fluff or push her hair back a little. I suppose my hand lingered for a nanosecond longer than it really needed to.
Here’s the odd bit. Instead of continuing to look at me and keep her head still, she nodded her head slightly down and forwards, and slightly to the side, (like a dog might do when you rub it’s ear), and she looked down at the floor - she might even have closed her eyes for 2 seconds, I couldn’t see. As soon as I took away my hand, she looked up and smiled. I was a little nervous, because these are the first times I have touched her face or hair, but she didn’t seem to pull away or give any indication that she didn’t want me to touch her.
I would have expected her to just keep her head still, and continue to look at me as I removed whatever was irritating her; this head movement and looking down took me by surprise.
And I wasn’t wearing any mones! Just got them today, so next week it’s Game On!
But what about that strange head movement when I stroked her face/hair?
that’s very comparable to squeezing your hand on shaking, there’s actually so many mimical and gestical expressions that she likes what you’re doing and is attracted to you that you cant name them all
Squeezing hand on holding/shaking was mentioned and shaking them a, how you call it, “nanosecond longer than needed”, is, imo, similar.
Normally, when we talk, we have rock-solid eye contact. She never glances away, unless for a second to think of something, before locking her eyes on me again. That’s why I was a little stunned at this apparently submissive head movement, and looking down at the floor; she NEVER does that. It really was like an old labrador rolling it’s head into your hand when you fondle it’s ear. And her hair was so soft . . . I just wanted to carry on stroking her hair!
So this is another bit of body language that says “she’s interested in you!” ?
Of course. That’s the extreme way where the women try to find “excuses” to either touch you or for you to touch them. Generally the eye contact, especially if it had a sexual spark in it, was already expressive. She simply ramped up. You could’ve ended up massaging her, just continueing to play the game she started. I’ve not been there but I’m sure it’s safe to assume.
How about next time you just talk to her and ask her on a date? It’s time
Actually, we work extremely closely together (physically) every day. This has been a LOOOONG relationship build up, too long to explain here.
We finally have a dinner date next week (first time). And I’ve suggested we take some salsa dancing lessons together. If I can pull that off, then the body contact and movement will do the rest . . . .
So I’m planning to use Instant Shine at work next week, with a top-up before going out for dinner, and adding Ammo Summer for the evening.
But this body language sign that she’s interested in me is cool. I’ve never seen it talked about in any body language forums or books.
Quicksilver