I’ve fallen in love with one of my best friends, who happens to be a lesbian. If possible, I want to change my feelings to be exclusively platonic. I’m in emotional pain right now 
Anyone else have a similar problem before?
If this is “off topic” please move to lounge.
P.S. Once I calm down, there is a chance I will delete this thread, unless something useful is contributed to the forum as a whole.
The first thing to do is fall out of love. Take some 5-HTP at night and DL-phenylaniline (DLPA) in the day. Skip the DLPA if you’re obsessive about her, as in stalking.
Your brain is short of both or at least the ability to process their metabolic products that are neuro-transmitters.
These will ease the pain as your brain adjusts. Another possible supplement is St. John’s Wort if you’re depressed.
It can also help to repeatedly imagine in your mind’s eye your love target in some ridiculous and unflattering situations, like picking her nose or spilling spaghetti on her clothes.
Thanks, I’ll definitely check those out, I might try the unflattering imaging too. I need to get over her so I can focus on being best friends. Yet again thanks.
Edit: do stores carry those?
I picked up the 5-HTP and St. John’s Wort at Walmart, I didn’t see any DLPA though.
Hopefully this takes care of most of it. At the least, the 5-HTP should help me sleep.
Sweety do you mean your in lust with your best friend because its totally normal to love your best friend ? One of my best friends is a male and I love him, I would even say he is sexually attractive however there is no lust there.
Love doesn’t go away, it is not something you can rid yourself of and if you think you can or you have your in denial. Lust on the other hand you can control. Men often think that loving a women means they have to go into a sexual relationship with them which is silly. You love your mom and dad, your siblings, other friends you have, your dog… what your not is in lust with them or sexually attracted to them. That’s the only difference between “in love” and love.
My advice is hold onto the love and rid yourself of the lust. I think just the realization of defining exactly what it is your feeling will help put it in perspective and make it easier to control the lust and still be best friends.
Also do what whitehall suggested. I never heard of supplements that can rid yourself of love but they could affect the lust part.
Distance yourself from time spent where lust and sexual attraction can flair up. Meaning don’t spend time in intimate situations with her. This doesn’t mean don’t spend time with her at all though. Hang out in public places and not as often for a while until you gain more control of those lustful feelings.
Except what you cant change.
This part is important…Direct your lust somewhere else. Go out on some dates. Flirt with some women.
Tisha
Thank you Tisha! My emotions towards my friend are multi layered. I know I love her without a doubt, the in love part I can’t say the same though, which from your explanation, I guess there isn’t much difference.
I’ve just been experiencing emotions I’ve never felt before, ones that I feel along side familiar ones. What I can identify is my love for her as a friend, a fondness that feels like what I have for my little sister, and lust is there as well. The lust I’ve been trying to deal with for a while now, without success.
I’m clueless when it comes to the dating scene, and I believe that alone has been causing a lot of grief recently.
I’ve purchased those at one of the local health food stores. Also check Walgreens & CVS.
Talk to her. Rejection is the greatest gift a woman can give you.
L-phenylanaline might work even better on a dollars per day basis but can be harder to find.
I should note that St. Johns Wort can cause photo-sensitivity in some people. With Spring here (at least in California), I’d calibrate myself before spending a lot of time in the sun while taking it.
Well, my dear, this is a sticky wicket and you’re not alone. There are plenty of others who find themselves in the same same situation. I am not lesbian nor bi but I do have very good friends who are both and have known them for many years. In fact, I literally grew up with some of them and we have been around and around the block together.
I also know and understand the feelings of unrequited love and I’m sorry you’re in pain. I’m inclined to think that unless you have received a very strong indicator from your lesbian friend that she might have a more than friendly interest in you, you might be better off retaining those feelings instead of outright expressing them. If you want to keep her friendship. I agree that under most circumstances, honesty is the best policy. I also believe there are some exceptions and this is one of them. To express your feelings when you are so overcome emotionally could backfire and you might chase her away altogether.
If you find that you can’t get over these feelings, it might be best for you to distance yourself from her, at least for a while, until you can get them under control. You need to get yourself together. It’s very hard, I know, but it can be done. I know because I’ve done it, more than once.
Instead of chasing a rainbow, chase someone tangible instead. Put yourself in a situation that lends itself to meeting other women instead of pining for what’s out of reach. There are girls out there who will be interested in you but you need to give yourself a chance to meet them. Make it a point to meet them. It will keep you busy and give you somewhere else to direct your thoughts and attentions.
I’ll tell you about BobG. He’s a good friend of Wolf’s, my husband. We’ve been to all of his weddings. On his second time around he married a lesbian. After two years she left him. She said she tried it and it just didn’t work. Even though she was willing to give it a go, she couldn’t stick it out because, “It’s just not who I am.” He’s on #3 now and very happily married to a nice Italian girl and they had a little boy. I don’t think he’ll be going for #4. 
Another very close lesbian friend of mine became involved in a romantic relationship with a straight woman, also a friend of mine, and eventually had to leave the state to get over it.
If she’s truly a lesbian then she isn’t really sexually attracted to men. Even if you can manage to sway her into a physical/romantic relationship with you, more than likely, it won’t last. She might go for it for a number of reasons but becoming involved with you sexually won’t have the same impact on her that it has on you. From what I’ve seen happen around me, they ultimately revert back to type in the end. She’ll go on her way and you’ll be left to pick up the pieces. I’m sorry but that’s what I have learned from my friends about these types of relationships and I’ve dried a lot of tears in the process. That’s fine if you think you can handle it emotionally but I think not from what you’ve said about how you feel about her.
So, all cards on the table. She might understand your feelings toward her and gently rebuff you or it might ruin your friendship. It’s a risk and you have to weigh what you stand to lose here. You need to decide.
I wish you the best. 
Bella
Welcome the club man! We’ve got a great joiners package. It includes blue balls, red faces and black hearts!
Okay, being serious I too have fallen for a girl who was lesbian, the lust never goes away, I mean you’re a man!
But if you love her, then own it. Treat her like you love her, keep her from harm, fight any and all who attack her metaphorically and physically.
But then face it. She only enjoys her type of equipment. So do what superior men do and control your emotions. And find satisfaction somewhere else.
I can vouch for that. You dont want a girl leave you hanging
Try wearing some EST around her. See what happens. :-p
I was rejected back in October, and she told me she was a lesbian then. We started to become closer friends since. I think part of why I fell for her is lack of success in dealing with women. I just had no one else to focus on.
One of the things I’ve started doing is mentally telling myself to stop when my mind starts focusing on her too much. Which so far has been every time I wake up.
EST sounds interesting, although I doubt that it would let me have her as anything more than a friend on a long term basis. She has never been attracted to guys.
Thanks for everyone’s replies by the way. I told her about my feelings, and I’ve managed to not drive her away. I’ll have to maintain control of myself of course.
I need to find a method of meeting girls that matches my personality.