I was looking at my collection of bottles and there sat Instant Jerk in a to-go. I decided to apply two sprays (each side of my neck) and headed on down to Watering Hole I. When I arrived I found a stool between Ms.DK and Ms. BG.
BG wolf-whistled at me, and I said, “You again? Didn’t I tell you to get your eyes examined?” DK is laughing.
BG says, “I do have glasses but they are for far away”.
“You missed the point, go get your eyes examined!” I replied.
After a brew and some small talk, BG asks me, “How is a girl supposed to get a guy’s attention?”
“Be blatantly obvious”, I said, “Maybe try flashing your headlights at him and poke his eye with one.” DK can’t stop laughing.
Someone gets up and loads the jukebox with tunes. BG gets up and starts dancing to this one popular tune, which I happen to think of as an obnoxious portrayal of a malfunctioning jack hammer with the operator cussing a blue streak. She moves behind me sticking her headlights in my back and proceeds to do some grinding on me! I look at DK and widen my eyes and she can’t stop laughing. Then BG turns around and starts rubbing my bottom with hers. I carefully look down to see when a cheek will be in position for a spanking and slap it! “Stop it you naughty girl!”
As BG is getting back on her stool next to me she looks and DK and says, “I’m going to do it! I’m going to do it! I’m going to do it!”
DK says, “OH NO! OH MY GOD! NO!”
BG says to me, “I love you, Jedi.”
I say, “I wish you wouldn’t”
She laughs and looks at DK, “I am going to do it!”
She then turned on her headlights! This was no quick flash. I opened my eyes wide and took in the view saying, “Oh My!” and as I put my hand over my heart I took a couple of deep breaths and reached with the other hand into my pocket saying, “Where’s my blood pressure medicine?!” BG then shook herself and her headlights undulated most pleasingly. She then stood up and pressed one against my face putting and nipple smudge across the entire left lens of my glasses! When she finally pulled away I took a deep breath and said, “Oh, and they smell good too!”
Needless to say, she had my attention.
That’s it. End of story. I’m not saying any more.
